From One To Another
by JTBJAB
Summary: If it's not one thing, it's another! Will Amy ever be allowed to be happy? COMPLETE
1. Don't LeavePart 1

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters, this story is not profit making.

**Chapter 1: Don't Leave-Part 1  
**  
Swirling images wrapped around her as she moved through the darkness. She tried in vain to recognise what they were but failed, suddenly she felt as though she was falling and twisting and turning before landing face down. She felt a sharp pain, which jolted her awake into a sitting position. She felt a tightness in her chest andthe queasy feeling that she had been having forthelastcouple of weeks.Her breathing slowed as sheremembered what had happened. Yesterday she had left Stu, left him at the last moment, when the feelings that had been bothering her surfaced and she saw Stu for who he really was.... a bully.

Lauren wondered into her room, but Amy who was lost in deep thought didn't notice her, or that she had been askeda question.... "FINE, DON'T LISTEN TO ME!" Lauren stormed out and slammed her door. Amy looked up from her lap, and made a feeble attempt to call after her, but fell back onto the bed in defeat. She lay cursing at the ceiling, taking out all the anger and frustration that she felt.

Maxine walked into her room, and smiled at Amy, "What has the ceiling ever done to you?" Amy glanced at her mother and swore.

"It's not fair ma, why is it I can't find somebody who knows what I want, and knows how to compromise, where it actually is a compromise, not us doing what he wants or what I want?" She sighed as a silent tear rolled down her cheek. Maxine's heart went out to her, and she wanted to rush over and make things better, but she knew Amy wouldn't accept it and would push her away just like on always. Maxine looked around Amy's room, and then remembered why she had entered her room in the first place.

"Amy dear, you can't stay in here forever wallowing in...."

"Ma, leave it out will you!" Amy said with clenched teeth.

"Amy, listen to me...."

"No ma, you listen to me, I don't need a lecture right now! I know.... I don't know what I know.... just get out will you?!"

"Amy Madison Gray, do not speak to me like that, now I will leave out a lecture, but you have a daughter who still needs you.... you can't ignore her...." Maxine sighed not sure how to carry on, "Amy, I...."

"Leave it ma, Lauren understands!"

"So much so, that she is now in her room crying?" Amy looked up at this and started to get up from her bed. "Now go talk to your daughter before she thinks that you have abandoned her too!" Maxine regretted saying it even before the words were out of her mouth.

_"That was uncalled for ma!"_ Amy muttered as she passed her mother and walked down the hall to Laurens room. "Noodle...can I come in?"

"Do what you want, you will anyway!" Amy opened Laurens door, and stepped in. Lauren was face down in her pillow, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed. Amy wondered over to the bed and sat down with a hand on Laurens shoulder.

"Noodle.... I'm sorry.... I...." Lauren looked up at her mother. "I'm sorry noodle, really I am."

"Why did you leave Stu? Did he do something wrong? I mean.... I was just getting used to him...." Amy glanced out the window, before returning her gaze to Lauren.

"Stu did.... nothing.... wrong.... I just realised that he was not the man for me, that he was not going to make me happy. Do you understand?" Lauren nodded.

"Why did you wait until the church? Why didn't youleave him earlier?" Amy sighed and looked away.

"I don't know, I.... I just.... I really.... I didn't know what the feelings I had meant, until the last minute. I regret that it got as far as it did but.... it's over now." She played with Laurens hair.

"Mom, you'll always love me and stay with me.... you won't ever leave me will you?" Amy pulled Lauren into her lap

"Of course not noodle, I will always be here for you!"

Amy closed her eyes as she remembered how Lauren had first reacted to her dating Stu, she had hated him and hated her for dating him, even when she got used to the idea she still had reservations about them getting married. Laurens first instinct had been right. Dating him was ok, but marrying him was not. She let out a sigh as she remembered how much in love she had been or thought she had been with him. How he had made her laugh even when she was angry with him. She shook her head violently in an attempt to rid herself of those memories, and a face popped into her head. She didn't notice it, but a small smile crept to life on her lips.

* * *

David smiled as he got in his car, hearing about Amy leaving Stu at the alter had left him with a lot of energy. He had found it hard to sleep and had been waiting all morning for a call that would require him to drive to where she lived, letting him set eyes on her again. He found it hard to drive; he was so tensed with anticipation of seeing her face again. When he finally did reach her house, he had to sit in the car to centre himself, he felt like a school kid with a crush. He almost ran up the path to the door, where he held his breath hoping that it would be she who answered. 


	2. Panic

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 2: Panic  
**  
He slipped his arms around her and held her to him. She looked back at him and smiled as he leaned in to kiss her. She turned and caressed his neck as he....

The doorbell rang and interrupted Amy's thoughts, "IS SOMEBODY GOING TO.... never mind I'll get it." Amy got up from the couch and opened the front door. Standing there was somebody that she didn't want to see right now -somebody who had left her confused and breathless.... David McClaren.

He was stunned by the way she looked as she opened the door, and he found he couldn't speak. "Yes?"

"M.... morning Judge Gray, I need you to sign this." David held up a file.

"Couldn't somebody else do it for you?" Amy grabbed the file. "Do you have a pen?" She had noticed the way he had looked at her and she liked it, she looked inquisitively at him as he reached in his pocket and pulled out a pen to hand to her. Their fingers brushed past each other and David found it hard not to pull her towards him andembrace her. The morning light was bouncing off her wild hair, and saddened face, he breathed in sharply.

"Are you ok?" Amy looked up at him.

"Sure, as perfect as I could be." She signed the file and handed it back with the pen. "I hope you won't have anything else for me to sign any time soon?"

"So do I." David replied but the voice in his head disagreed. He rubbed his temples as he turned away from Amy's door. What was this feeling he had, that it was if he had won the lottery, when he had heard that the wedding had been called off, he had almost screamed in happiness! He shook his head and made his way to down the path.

Amy leant against the door. His face had been dancing in her mind since he came to her before the wedding. She rubbed her eyes and slowly walked back to the couch, but before she could sit down, the doorbell rang again. _"Oh for the love of...."_ She yanked the door open and she felt a warm fuzzy feeling as she collapsed into the arms of Bruce. His arms tightened around her as she sobbed. _"Shhh, it's alright, I am here, don't worry, shhh."_ He led her into the house and shut the door with his foot.

His heart went to her as she opened the door, he saw the anger melt from her face, replaced with sorrow, as she fell into his forever open arms. He held her as she wept, and slowly led her into the house and closed the door. He tried to comfort her, to get her to calm down; he felt a pang of guilt from the fact that he hadn't been there for her yesterday. He held her head to his chest and closed his eyes, as he rocked her back and forth.

Amy remembered the anger that she was feeling for Bruce and stepped back to hit him. "Hey, what was that for?"

"Why weren't you there for me yesterday? I really needed you, I needed my best friend and.... and you weren't there!" She managed to get out even though she was breathless from sobbing.

"I'm so sorry, I wanted to be there."

"Then why weren't you?" She glared at him, as she took another step back.

"I couldn't, I couldn't be there.... I...."

"Just leave Bruce, if you can't feel that you can trust me than leave." Bruce didn't move, "Just leave, will you?!" Bruce stepped forward and pulled her into his arms.

"Amy I won't leave, I need you and you need me!" Amy moved back, pushing Bruce away. She struggled to breathe as she wrestled with all the emotions she was feeling. Bruce stepped back towards her, "Amy? Are you alright?" Amy fell back against the stairs. She put a hand on her chest and another on her back. "Amy you are scaring me now.... what's wrong?" She felt a massive pain in her stomach, and with a sharp intake of breath she crumpled forward and passed out.

Bruce rushed forward and gathered her into his arms. He felt for a pulse and it was very weak. "Amy, Amy come back to me.... _Amy I need you_.... Amy?" He rocked her, trying to wake her. "Amy come on.... don't do this!" Bruce stood with her in his arms before he carried her to the door, but just as he was opening it he heard a voice.

"Mom.... Mr Van Exel.... what's wrong with her?" Lauren whimpered as she ran down the stairs. Bruce turned and in his panic almost dropped Amy. "Mom?"

"Lauren is anybody else home?" Bruce asked hurriedly.

"Grandma.... why?"

"I have to take Amy to the hospital, you go get Maxine and tell her." Lauren stared for a second but was soon running back up the stairs. Bruce turned to the door again when he heard Lauren

"Mr Van Exel?"

"Yes Lauren."

"Take care of my mom please!"

"I will!" Bruce smiled at her then rushed to his car, he didn't want to release her from his arms, but he had to. He sat her in the passenger seat, but she began to shake and he knelt down again. He placed one hand on her thigh and one on the back of her neck. To be able to touch her in this way was blowing his mind and making it hard to concentrate, that was until she started to convulse. This shocked him into acting, he held her to his chest tightly to restrict her movement and as soon as he felt her still he ran to the drivers seat, and started the car.

He knew he was speeding but he didn't care, he had to get there fast, he didn't want her to leave him. He glanced over at her still body and saw a blue tinge on her lips, her breathing was more of a rasping sound and her body every now and then would shake. With his right hand he reached over and touched her hand it was ice cold. _"Amy don't do this now, stay with me!"_


	3. Hold Ups And Outbursts

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show.

**Chapter 3: Hold Ups And Outbursts  
**  
His heart felt like it had stopped, the knuckles on his hands turned white with tension as he gripped the wheel. Not surprisingly, he soon saw flashing lights behind him. He pulled over, cursing the officer for being there.

"Did you know you were speeding, sir?" The officer said as Bruce wound down the window.

"Yes.... My.... I need to get to the hospital!"

"I have heard that excuse before...." Bruce started to get frustrated and he let loose all his feelings

"Look here; can you see this woman next to me turning bluer as we speak? Yes that's right turning blue! I need to get to the hospital now and you are not helping me. I am sorry I was speeding but it was unavoidable!" The officer looked at Amy before he replied

"I'll escort you to the hospital sir. Wait till I pull out then follow. I will have the sirens on so there will be no more delays!"

Bruce breathed a sigh of relief, and quickly got the car in gear and followed the officer to the hospital. When they got there the officer jumped out "Don't worry about your car, I will stay with it, you go help her!" Bruce nodded his thanks as he ran with Amy into the ER.

Kyle almost walked straight into them, and staggered back. "Sorry, I really should have.... Bruce?"

He then saw Amy and led them quickly to an examining room. Nurses ushered Bruce away as they closed the curtains around her body. He collapsed into a chair and covered his face with his hands, trying desperately to stay strong and not cry. He hadn't told her how he felt, he should have told her and now it might be too late.

Kyle felt for a pulse and couldn't find one, "Lily get a crash cart," he yelled.

Bruce looked up as he saw the machine being pushed at a close run to Amy's curtained off bed. His heart was in his throat, as he heard it being charged. He tried to block out the thought of living without her. He had to tell her how he felt, he should have done it before but for some reason he hadn't been able to admit it to himself let alone her. _"I love you Amy Gray, please don't leave me!"_ he whispered as he looked at the curtains surrounding her.

"Bruce, where is she?" He turned to see Maxine running towards him dragging a distraught Lauren behind her. "Bruce answer me...." Bruce tried to speak but found it impossible. He nodded instead towards the curtains, before covering his face with his hands again.

"Where's mom?" Lauren cried out.

"She's just through th...." Maxine stopped speaking as she heard them trying to restart Amy's heart.

"What is it Grandma?" Lauren looked at Maxine expectantly. She hugged Lauren to her and rocked her; she closed her eyes and prayed, _'Please don't take my baby, god it would be so hard on everybody, especially Lauren. She doesn't need that right now, please let her be ok.'_

Kyle realised he had been holding his breath, when Amy's heart finally started again. He took Amy's hand in his. _"Welcome back,"_ he whispered. He slowly made his way out to where Bruce and now Maxine and Lauren were sitting. "She is still unconscious but she has her strong pulse back. She will be fine, as long as there are no complications!"

"Kyle, don't give us the doctors speech.... level with us!" Maxine said impatiently.

"As far as I can see she will be fine and will wake up any second, I really don't see any more problems...."

"Doctor McCarty?" Kyle spun round to see Lily beckoning him back behind the curtains. Maxine made to follow him but a nurse held her back.


	4. Bad News And Some Peace

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show.

**Chapter 4: Bad News And Some Peace  
**  
Bruce and Maxine looked up as Amy was wheeled out and they started to get up, but Kyle shook his head and motioned for them to sit back down before he followed Amy through the swinging doors and into surgery.

Maxine felt slightly confused by this, they were heading towards the operating theatre, why would they need to go in there, Kyle had said she was going to be ok, she turned her attention to Bruce to switch her mind off of it. She patted his arm "Thank god you came to our house.... you saved her life!"

"I was there to apologise for not being there for her at her wedding.... and then.... and then...."

"I know dear, I know. Don't worry, this isn't your fault, you saved her. Remember that." Bruce tried in vain to keep back the tears but failed miserably. Maxine put her arms around him and he relaxed and for the first time since arriving at the Gray household. Lauren was walking back from her visit to the vending machines and when she saw Bruce crying she ran over.

"Is mom ok? Is she ok? When can we see her?" Maxine took her hand

"I honestly don't know sweetie." Lauren sat on the floor and lent against her legs and stared in shock at the ceiling, while Maxine played with her hair.

* * *

Amy felt at peace as she swam in the darkness, there was no pain, and although she remembered Stu she felt no guilt or love towards him. Suddenly she felt like her chest was being opened and she breathed in. The air was stale, she felt strange, and her stomach was.... it felt like it was being emptied, like part of her was being removed, she didn't understand. She suddenly felt very tired and the stale air vanished, as she was pulled further into the darkness that was enveloping her.

Kyle felt beads of sweat run down his face as the crash cart had to be called for again. _"Come on Amy, you are stronger than this, don't let this one mistake take over you!" _This time it took longer to revive her, but finally they managed to bring her back. He felt like his heart had stopped that time. They finished up as quickly as they could and rushed her to recovery. Kyle ran to where his family was anxiously waiting.

"She will be fine you can come see her in about 15 minutes."

"Where did you take her?" Bruce enquired, finally able to speak.

"Surgery, there were some complications."

"What complications?"

"Um.... doctor/patient confidentiality I'm afraid. I can't tell you that." Bruce and Maxine glanced at each other and then back at Kyle. "I'm sorry Aunt Max, but I can't tell you!"


	5. Confessions Of The Heart

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show.  
  
**Chapter 5: Confessions Of The Heart  
**  
The family gathered around Amy's bed, Bruce hovered behind them, completely beside himself.

"Can I have some time alone.... with her.... please?" Maxine ushered them all out and as she passed Bruce she patted him on the arm, and smiled. When they had gone Bruce rushed to Amy's side, he took her hand in his._"Amy, I love you so much.... it's more than anything I have ever felt before!"_He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it. Amy's hand moved in Bruce's and he looked up at her face.  
  
"Amy.... Amy.... please wake up.... Amy.... come on...." He glanced down at their entwined hands "Amy come back to me.... I can't live without you in my life...." Amy's eyes flickered open "I.... I love you so much, please wake up!"  
  
"Bruce?" Amy gasped, her throat was so dry, the oxygen mask on her face scared her, and she reached up and pulled it off.  
  
"Amy.... you're awake?!" For the second time that day Bruce cried, Amy didn't understand.  
  
"Bruce what happened? Why am I here?"  
  
"We don't know Kyle wanted to speak to you first! I was so worried about you...." He took a deep breath "Did you hear what I was saying to you?"  
  
"No.... what did you say?" Amy lied, still confused. Bruce took a deep breath to calm himself before he spoke.  
  
_"I love you Amy Gray and I can't live without you. I need you to be there to light up my life!"_

Amy reached up and brushed his cheek. She knew she loved him, but she was sure it was as a friend not something more. Bruce leaned in to kiss her, but she turned away.

"Amy what's wrong?"

A single tear rolled down her cheek, as Kyle walked in.


	6. Heartbreak

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show.

**Chapter 6: Heartbreak  
**  
"Bruce, would you mind if I spoke to Amy alone please?" Reluctantly Bruce stood up and left the room. "Amy, I don't know really how to tell you this...." Kyle looked around the room, as though searching for something that would help.

"What is it Kyle? What is wrong with me?"

"You, you are.... you were...."

"Spit it out Kyle.... pass me some ice chips will you?" Kyle lifted up the cup and took them over to Amy. "Thanks, now spill.... or I may just have to kick your butt!" Despite the situation, Kyle smiled; his cousin was definitely feeling better.

"Amy.... did you know that you are.... were...." Kyle looked away then reached for her hand and took it. _"Did you know that you were pregnant?" _He said just above a whisper.

"What was that? I didn't quite get it." She stared at him in shock thinking what she must have heard was wrong, she almost dropped her cup of ice chips.

"Did you know that you were pregnant?" Kyle repeated

"**What? **Don't be stupid, there is no way.... I mean I was on birth control for one thing!"

"Amy.... do you remember when you were ill a couple of months ago?"

"Yeah, well sort of, I had those stupid drugs...." It suddenly dawned on her, what he was saying.

"They affect birth control and make its effects weakened so that it is possible to get...."

_"Pregnant," _she breathed. "What about it anyway?" Trying to act like it was no big deal.

"Well you have been under so much stress, and well you started to haemorrhage and I'm so sorry Amy, you lost it!"

Amy was a mix of emotions, on one hand it was good because she was no longer with Stu, but on the other hand, she loved the thought of another child. Kyle squeezed her hand as tears began to roll down her cheeks uncontrollably.

"I'm so sorry Amy, really I am.... you should be out of here tomorrow by the way, but no work!" Amy nodded and tried to move onto her side but a pain in her stomach made her stop. "The pain should also have eased by tomorrow, you were lucky, we almost lost you.... twice!" He felt slightly choked up so he decided to leave Amy to her thoughts and went out to speak to the family.

* * *

"When can I see mom?" Lauren asked as soon as he was through the doors.

"Not tonight I am afraid, she needs her rest!"

"But I want to see her.... I want to know she is ok, I WANT TO SEE HER!" Lauren started towards Amy's door

Maxine put a hand on her shoulder. "Can't we quickly see her, just to say goodbye?"

"I'm sorry Aunt Max, but she is in a bit of a state right now."

"Why? What did you say to her.... what is wrong with her?"

"It is up to her to tell you, I sorry but there is nothing I can do!"

"Can you ask her if Lauren can come in? Please Kyle." Kyle turned and slipped back into the room, Amy was sobbing but she wiped her eyes when she saw Kyle back again.

"Can Lauren come say goodbye? I said they should go home, but Lauren is really upset."

"Sure she can, but only her, I don't want to see or speak to anyone else till morning." Kyle left to tell Lauren the good news and Lauren ran in and jumped onto Amy's bed.

"Are you ok now mom? I was so scared when I saw you in Mr Van Exel's arms and you weren't conscious!"

"I'm fine now noodle, I'll be home tomorrow, the doctors just need to keep an eye on me over night!"

"What was wrong with you?"

"I have been under a lot of stress lately, and my body decided it had had enough and shut down."

"I don't ever want to get stressed.... I was so scared mom."

"I know noodle.... now go tell Grandma that I am ok and will see her tomorrow."

"Do I have to go to school?" Lauren tried to stop a smile appearing on her lips.

"Not if you don't want to."

"Really?" Any nodded. "No school, yes! See you tomorrow mom!" Lauren kissed her mother on the cheek and ran out to the others. Amy smiled at her daughter's reaction and felt more at peace with her situation. Although she had lost her new child, she still had her noodle, her Lauren who she loved so very much.

* * *

Stu was sat on a plane; he had gotten a call from a friend at the hospital and had rushed to get the first flight back. Amy was pregnant - with his child. He had a chance to get her back.

He smiled as he thought of how she used to sigh when he held her in his arms. How she used to smile shyly up at him before they made love, how they used to finish off each other's sentences after being with one another. Like their souls had been completely connected in all ways.

He looked at his watch, there was still 2 hours left of his flight till he got back to Hartford. He didn't know how he was going to approach the subject, he wasn't sure how she had reacted when she had found out and he didn't know how he was going to get her back. But what he did know was that he was going to see her, and make her listen to him.

_'I can learn to like kids, I can! I just need a chance. I wasn't given a chance with Lauren. But with my, our child she will have to give me a chance!'_

He leant back into his chair and closed his eyes, thinking about what it would be like to have her back in his arms again. To be able to hold her close and loose himself in her. He choked back tears as he remembered the words that had hurt him so badly, the words that Amy had said to break off their engagement. It had all come to him as a shock. He had run out like a coward and planned to go on the honeymoon alone to gather his thoughts, before he had to face anybody, even his own family. Now everything had changed, he was going back to get Amy, going back to get his new family.


	7. The BullyPart 1

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show.

**Chapter 7: The Bully-Part 1**  
  
Stu held his breath as he stepped into the hospital. A glanced around, gathered his wits together and marched to Amy's room. Luckily he had been told where she was, so he didn't have to go through the hassle of trying to get a nurse to tell him where she was.  
  
As he reached her room, he straightened his jacket and stood in the doorway. Amy was sitting on her bed swinging her legs looking out of the window; her wild curls swirled around her head dramatically. He swallowed to stop himself crying out how he felt; he wanted to tell her diplomatically. He stepped in, and cleared his throat.  
  
"Finally, I thought you were nev...." Amy stopped mid-sentence when she saw Stu "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I came to see you Amy" To say her name again, to say it to her face made his heartache to be near her. He stepped closer to her, and stopped when he was almost able to reach out and touch her. Amy stood up and backed away from him.  
  
Amy had felt her heart jump into her throat when she had looked up and seen Stu standing in the doorway. She wasn't ready for this. The courage she had used at the wedding, had shocked her. Stu had almost managed to persuade her to marry him again, but she had said no. She couldn't do it again, not yet and not now. She blinked back tears as she saw the hope building in Stu's eyes. She knew why he was here, and she was scared he would get it. She swallowed before speaking.

* * *

Maxine had found it hard to stop herself speeding on the way to the hospital. She wanted to make sure that Amy was all right, having not seen her awake herself yet. She was curious as to what had happened and she prayed that Amy would confide in her for once, without her having to beg. When she arrived at Amy's room she took a step back when she heard Stu's voice, she glanced round the doorframe and found her daughter on the verge of tears arguing with Stu. She stayed by the door to listen, not that she wanted to pry but she didn't want to interrupt and she wanted to know what was going on if Amy refused to speak later.

* * *

"Stu why did you come here? I didn't ask for you and there is no need for you to be here!"  
  
"Amy I still love you and when I heard you were in the hospital I flew straight back!"  
  
"How did you find out I was here.... I know my family didn't call you.... who told you?"  
  
"I know somebody who works here, they didn't know we didn't get married and when they saw your file she phoned to see if I was ok! You should have contacted me!"  
  
"Stu.... I don't want you in my life...." He stepped towards her and touched her arm "And I don't want you near me!" She pulled her arm away.  
  
"Amy, she told me!"  
  
"Told you what?" Amy looked away, hoping he didn't know.  
  
"She told me that you are pregnant!"  
  
"I am**not**pregnant!"  
  
"She read it straight from the file, why would she lie?" Stu pulled her close to him.

* * *

Maxine felt rage building up inside of her. He really was a bully, and he just didn't give up. She wanted to storm in and save her daughter but she knew it was something that Amy had to do herself to recover.

* * *

"I'm not pregnant_anymore...._"

* * *

Maxine did a double take; Amy had been pregnant!? It explained her change in moods lately and the fact that she had been feeling ill in the mornings. She felt hurt that Amy hadn't confided in her. But she started to think about the bigger picture and realised that maybe the news Kyle had, had to tell her was that she had been pregnant, and that she had maybe lost it. She calmed down slightly; realising that even though her daughter did like to keep her distance, she was rubbish at hiding this kind of thing and would her told her. 


	8. The BullyPart 2

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show. Warning: chapter could be classed as R rated!

**Chapter 8: The Bully-Part 2**  
  
"You had an abortion?" Stu held her tightly when she tried to move away "Do you hate me that much that you had to get rid of our child. Amy we had a child together, a little miracle that we made!" Stu held her closer to him; he was now close enough to smell the shampoo in her hair.

It was a fruity fragrance and it made him think of when they were together, when they were in bed together when he was making love to her. He lifted her chin, and leaned down to kiss her. She didn't really notice what he was doing, he had programmed her well to give in to him, and the wedding had been the first time she had really stood up to him. As there lips joined, the sorrow that Amy had felt seemed to drain away and she melted into his arms.

* * *

Maxine was finding it very hard to restrain herself, she hated the fact the Stu had some kind of hold over her. She hated the fact that at this moment they looked as if they had never broken up, that the wedding day hadn't even happened yet.

* * *

Stu lifted Amy towards the bed and lowered her onto it, he hungered for her; to be as close as possible; he began to undo her blouse, as he leant into her.

* * *

Maxine slowly turned and moved away from the door, as much as it killed her, she had to let Amy deal with this herself. She had to be the grown-up, she had to learn to stand up to the man who had a hold on her; it wasn't healthy.

* * *

Amy was drowning in her emotions; all the love she had felt for Stu came flooding back from where they had been hiding since the wedding. She felt his chest, and slipped her hands under his shirt, Stu started playing with her bra, when she started to think of the wedding and how it had almost been one of the biggest mistakes that she had made.  
  
She thought of how it had been David's sudden presence that had caused her to realise that Stu was a bully. She tried to push Stu away, but he was having none of it. He pushed into her, forcing her flat on the bed, she began beating his chest with her fists, this just made him lean in so she couldn't move. She tried to scream but the kiss muffled the sound. Amy began to panic and she began to struggle harder, she managed to kick him and he sat up, but didn't loosen his grip on her or remove his lips. She used all her strength to move her arms so she could push him away, and he finally sat back, but pulled her with him onto his lap. 

"Amy, I miss making love to you, it is all I can think about!" Amy pulled away and managed to free herself briefly before he grabbed her wrist and he held tight while she struggled.  
  
"Stu, let me go.... you're hurting me!" Amy took another step back, but Stu still held on, and grabbed her other wrist. "Stu stop it, you wander why I ran out on the wedding, this is what I mean by you being a bully; you don't know when to quit!" She choked back a sob before carrying on. "Stu the baby, i was 2 months pregnant.... I began to haemorrhage.... because of all the stress I have been under.... I lost it.... because.... because of you!" Amy cried out in pain as he tightened his grip, tears began to run down her cheeks. "Stuart, please let me go!" Her wrists were burning with pain and she fell to the floor and screamed.


	9. The BullyPart 3

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show. Warning: this chapter could be classed as R rated

**Chapter 9: The Bully-Part 3**  
  
Maxine was pacing back and forth, she could hear Amy crying but she didn't realise the extremities of the situation. She saw Bruce walking down the hall; he had seen her pacing and began to run towards her thinking that something else had happened.  
  
"Is she ok? Did something _else_ happen to her?"  
  
"Everything is fine Bruce.... at least I think it is...."  
  
"What do you mean? Why are you out here and not in there with her?"  
  
"Stu is in th...." Amy screaming cut off Maxine mid-sentence.

Bruce pushed past her and rushed in. He saw Amy on the floor, with Stu standing over her holding her wrists tightly. Maxine pushed Bruce to the side so she could enter the room, and the sight that met her eyes broke her heart.

She should have entered the room when she arrived. She regretted not stepping in, she knew deep down that she should have done, but she had been so eager to leave her be like she always asks. She had thought it was for the best.  
  
Stu seemed not to have noticed Bruce or Maxine and carried on trying to get Amy to stand. "Come on I love you, and you obviously love me.... that kiss, it was amazing and your touch, your hands, you were...."  
  
"Stu, please let me go, I don't love you.... any more...." Amy couldn't believe this was happening to her. She couldn't believe Stu was behaving like this.  
  
"That kiss would like to prove you wrong.... you were giving yourself to me!" He managed to pull her up, and dragged her to him.  
  
"No Stu," Stu released her wrists so he could hold her tight to him. "Get off me, please stop!" She tried to push against him but her wrists gave way as she cried out in pain.

Bruce jumped forward as she fell to the floor. He barely noticed her blouse was undone, as he wrapped her into his arms and lifted her up.  
  
"Get out of here Stu, she left you for many reasons, one was that she felt you were a bully, even if she had been thinking about taking you back, why would she now. I mean you have hurt her so badly that she passed out."

Stu looked at the ground, but didn't reply. Reality hit him hard as he realised what he had done. Grabbing his bag he ran out of the room.

* * *

Maxine had been so shocked by what she had seen; she had been frozen. She now walked over to Amy who was mumbling quietly, as Bruce laid her onto the bed. He glanced at her wrists, which were swollen and bruised. Maxine lent over and did up some buttons on her blouse. Noticing that she had some bruises on her abdomen. As Amy winced she blinked back tears, this was her fault. 

"Thank you Bruce, I was.... I'll just get Kyle" Maxine rushed off in search of Kyle, who phoned the police before coming to collect Amy for some x-rays.

One wrist was broken and he strapped it up, feeling that a cast would be too obvious and cause too many rumours and then he bandaged her other wrist. The police arrived and took a statement from Maxine and Bruce, before they left. The drugs Amy had been given for the pain had made her drowsy, and before the police had had a chance to question her she had fallen into a deep sleep.

* * *

Stu knew what he had done was wrong. How was Amy ever going to forgive him now? How was she ever going to let him back into her life again? He closed his eyes remembering how close she had let him come to joining with her again, and he sighed as he realised what he was going to have to do: He had to get her on her own. Where there would be no more interuptions. Nobody to come to her when he was trying to get her to listen. She would listen to him, he was going to make sure of that! 


	10. A Torn Heart

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show.

**Chapter 10: A Torn Heart**

Maxine waited patiently beside Amy's bed. She had sent Bruce home, knowing that there was nothing he could do. He had left, after some persuading. She prayed for the second time since Amy had entered the hospital.

_'Please let her get over this, she has been hurt so many times by men in her life. She has made so many mistakes and she has suffered from them. But surely her suffering deserves to end? So please help her find happiness, she needs it! She didn't have a good start in life and it just hasn't got better! You answered my last prayer... answer this one... please'_

She patted Amy's hand then walked out of the room in search of some coffee, because if she needed it she was sure as hell that Amy would need some when she woke.

* * *

Amy sat up, what a dream she thought, then she looked down and saw she was still in hospital but now with her wrists bandaged and strapped. Maxine walked in with some coffee. 

"Hiya honey, we can take you home now that you are awake. But you now have extra drugs for your wrists."

"Great!" Amy said sarcastically.

"Bruce saved you **again** you know" Maxine looked intently at her daughters face to gage a reaction.

"Did he? I must thank him." She blinked back tears as she remembered what Bruce had said to her, and although she loved him very much, she now knew that she didn't love him any more than as a very good friend.

* * *

Maxine made no attempt to speak to Amy on the way home, but she kept glancing over at her to check that she was ok. 

The welcome Amy got from Lauren brought tears to her eyes, and she hugged her tightly ignoring the pain that she felt in her wrists. Lauren didn't ask any questions about them being strapped and bandaged; she knew she wouldn't be told the truth so there was no point.

* * *

Later that evening, they were all sitting on the couch, as a family they had watched a film, till Maxine retired to bed and Lauren had fallen asleep with her head on Amy's lap. Amy began to doze when there was a knock on the door. Amy eased herself out from under Lauren and went to answer it.

* * *

David stood on Amy's step, asking himself if he was doing the right thing. Wondering if she would reject him. He wasn't sure what he was going to say or how she was going to react. He began to have second thoughts. But it was too late now, he held his breath as the door opened.

* * *

The first things he saw were her wrists, "Oh my god... Amy, what happened?" He pushed away the urge to throw his arms around her to keep her safe. 

"Don't you mean Judge Gray?" Amy smiled as David blushed and looked away.

"Uh yeah..." Amy noticed his discomfort.

"It's a long story, one I am not going into with you. So what do you want me to sign?"

"Well..." he cleared his throat "I wanted to ask you if you would accompany me to dinner one night..." Amy looked at her feet.

"Look counsellor, my life is very complicated right now..."

"Call me David," She ignored his request

"I mean it was my wedding two days ago..."

"Which you backed out of!" Amy was shocked at his directness.

"Because of y... um, because I did... so... um... what?" David smiled as he realised what she had almost said. Amy panicked.

"You backed out of the wedding because of me?" Amy stepped back through the door and started to close it. "Amy..."

"Judge Gray to you! I can't speak right now, I have to... wash my hair." She closed the door and walked back into the living room where she woke Lauren and sent her to bed.

* * *

Amy sat down and cried. Why did David always have to arrive at the worst moment possible and always say the wrong thing, which come to think about it was actually the right thing to say. She dried her eyes and went to the window, she saw David still standing on the porch, he looked stunned and Amy couldn't help but smile. 

_'I really shouldn't let any more men into my life, they always hurt me, but David, he's, he... he seems so different from all the others! There is something about him, I mean because of him, well partly cuz of him I called of my wedding.'_

Amy went and sat back on the couch thinking about the other person who had caused her to get cold feet.

* * *

David stood shocked at what had just happened. Yes she had rejected him, but she had also confessed that because of him she had called off her wedding, and that was before they knew each other! He smiled as he walked back to his car.

* * *

Amy heard David's car engine and she slowly reached for the phone. 


	11. Hope's ShatteredPart 1

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show.

**Chapter 11: Hopes Shattered-Part 1**  
  
Bruce paced back and forth as he waited for the sound of her car. When he finally heard it he threw open the door and rushed out to greet her. She fell into his arms as he led her inside. They sat on the couch in silence as Amy sobbed into Bruce's chest. His arms wrapped protectively around her, he ran his hands up and down her back.  
  
When she finally looked up at him, he found himself dreading what she was about to say. "Bruce.... I.... about earlier...." she couldn't bring herself to say it; "do you have some wine?" Bruce obligingly stood up and got a bottle of wine and two glasses.

"Who said we needed glasses?" Amy opened the bottle and poured wine directly into her mouth. Bruce felt a shiver down his spine as she played with the bottleneck.  
  
"Should you be drinking Judge Gray?" He asked concerned  
  
"It's Amy and no!" He reached for the bottle, but she swung it away from him and downed it. He stared at her in shock.  
  
"Judge.... Amy, what are you doing?"  
  
"Getting drunk with a friend!" He took the empty bottle from her and went to fetch another for himself. He sat back down and poured out a glass, he put the bottle down, but regretted it as Amy reached for it instantly and downed that as well.  
  
All Amy felt was numb, and that's how she wanted to be, but she still wanted to be comforted, held close and cared for.  
  
"Brusch.... I...." Amy leant over to him and ran a finger down his chest; he took her hand in his. "Brusch.... I don't want to...." She moved closer to him and planted a kiss on his lips, he willingly accepted and reciprocated, but after a few minutes he felt her become limp in his arms. He moved her away and saw that she had passed out. He picked her up and walked up to his room, smiling; the one he loved had kissed him.... again.


	12. Hope's ShatteredPart 2

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show. 

**Chapter 12: Hopes Shattered-Part 2**  
  
It was 2 in the morning when Amy woke up. She glanced around, wincing as her headache took hold, she didn't recognise anything. She stumbled out of the bed and put out her hands to brace herself, and cried out in pain. She curled into a ball gripping her wrists to her. She felt herself being picked up and she fought back.  
  
"Get off me...." she wriggled free and fell against the wall, she moved round till she found the door, and she turned the handle and opened it. She backed out of the room and fled to the front door. Bruce ran after her and grabbed her by the waist.  
  
"Amy it's...." She elbowed him in the stomach. ".... Me!"  
  
She turned round and saw Bruce bent over clutching his stomach. She glanced around and realised where she was. She stepped back to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Bruce?" He looked up at her. "I'm so sorry.... I didn't know it was you!"  
  
She threw her arms around him, and he embraced her. He kissed her neck, confused; she pushed him away. "What are you doing?"  
  
"I.... um.... was kissing you.... wasn't that obvious?" Bruce replied just as confused.  
  
"Why?" Bruce realised that it had been Amy's drunken self that had used him, and he looked away. "I'm sorry.... I thought it was what you wanted!"

"I can't do this right now, I can't, Bruce, I can't...." Amy caressed his cheek gently. Slowly he looked back at her.

"Amy, I can't live without you, I need you. You were so willing.... you, I. Amy please...." Bruce lifted a hand and traced her lips with his thumb. He held her tighter, and lifted her up so they were face to face.

"Bruce...." She was cut off by his lips brushing hers. _"B.... B.... Bruce, please.... I really...."_ Bruce was not giving up, he was slowly building up a hope that she would remember what it had been like last time. The passion that had been in her eyes. He kissed her with more intent and was slightly surprised, when she kissed back. The kiss turned into more of a passionate one, and Bruce turned back towards his bedroom. Slowly walking back to it, blinded by their kiss. He lowered her to the bed, his hopes had risen so much he felt like he was flying.

Suddenly she pulled back and pushed Bruce away.

"No, Bruce." Amy got off the bed, Bruce followed and caught her to turn her. "Please don't do this to me, I can't," Tears overflowed Amy's eyes. He pulled her into a hug. Hating the fact he was hurting her, he was kicking himself for pushing her. He stroked her hair as she began to speak again, through tears, which choked up her voice. "Bruce.... you are.... my friend.... only my friend. I love you.... Bruce, I really do.... but as a friend."

Bruce who had been so happy, felt his heart break. All hope's of them being together was slowly leaving him. Although he tried hard to conceal his disappointment from his face, it was obvious enough that Amy noticed. She began to wonder what had happened earlier that night. She barely remembered driving over here, and she had no idea what really happened after that. "What hap.... what did we do?"  
  
Bruce looked at Amy and couldn't help but smile, she looked so vulnerable, and he so wanted to be her protector. Amy saw his smile and panicked, "Bruce what did we do?" She backed away from him, and started back towards the front door,w hilst Bruce followed.  
  
"Nothing, we kissed but then you passed out!"  
  
"How did we end up in your bed?" Amy questioned starting to really panic. Bruce smiled, "I mean the first time!"  
  
"I carried you there, I thought it would be more comfortable than the couch."  
  
"We didn't...."  
  
"No.... we didn't do anything, you were alone on the bed; I slept in the chair at the bottom of the bed."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Of course," He couldn't believe that she would even think that he would do such a thing. "I love you and would never do anything to you that you didn't want!"

Amy looked at the time, "I should get back to home; I need to be there when Lauren wakes up." She started to open the front door.  
  
"Amy?" She turned around  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I love you so much."  
  
"I know, and I love you too.... just not in the same way" She stepped back towards him and gave him one last hug and a kiss on the cheek before leaving.

* * *

Bruce locked the door after she left, and raised a hand to where she had kissed him. Why did she do that? He had been so tempted to turn his head so it was his lips that she had kissed not his cheek. But had resisted because he didn't want to loose her as a friend as well as a lover. He slowly walked to his bedroom and lay where she had, and he breathed in deeply. The pillow held a faint hint of her, and he fell asleep fantasising.

* * *

Amy sat in her car for a while, with her head in her hands. She felt as though her head was going to split in two. Eventually she turned the key in the ignition and made her way home, the journey which was in fact only a few minutes seemed to take forever, but the drive seemed to clear her head and shake away any feelings of regret over the events from the last two days.

* * *

When she pulled into her drive she passed a patrol car and then looking up at the house noticed all the lights were on. She slowly got out of the car and made her way up the path. 


	13. Spanish Inquisition

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show.

**Chapter 13: Spanish Inquisition**  
  
As she reached the front door, she changed her mind and went round the side of the house and entered through the kitchen. She poured herself a cup of coffee and drank it quickly, burning the roof of her mouth. She swallowed some aspirin before walking into the family room.

* * *

Maxine, Lauren and two police officers looked up. "AMY!" Maxine rushed over to her and hugged her. Amy let her; she just stood there. Maxine held her at an arms length, she looked her daughter up and down and noticed her wrinkled clothes and messed hair, "Amy, are you ok? Where have you been? Lauren had a nightmare and went into your room and couldn't find you, then she came and got me and we couldn't find you anywhere in the house!" 

"I'm fine Ma" she looked over at Lauren "I'm fine noodle!" Lauren stood up and ran and hugged her mother.

One of the officers cleared his throat, "Judge Gray, good to see you are ok! You are ok aren't you?" Amy looked up at them and nodded.

"Yes I am fine, I just had to clear my head and went for a drive"

"For 6 hours?" The officer looked at her sceptically. "Where did you drive to?"

"That isn't important, I just went for a drive, I didn't mean to be that long and I certainly didn't mean to worry anybody." She said as she stroked Laurens hair.

"Are you sure you are ok, after what happened yesterday..." Amy was starting to get annoyed.

"Look I am fine, you can see that with your own eyes so you can leave now! Ok?" The officers looked at each other. "Honest, I am fine!"

"If you are sure Judge Gray..."

"I am sure, thank you for coming but I am fine!" The officers showed themselves out and Amy breathed a sigh of relief. "You lied to me mom." Amy looked down at her daughter

"What do you mean pumpkin?"

"You said you would never leave me." Maxine gave her a disapproving look. Amy knew what it meant. Her mother had told her many times not to make promises that she couldn't guarantee she could keep.

"But I didn't leave you honey, I just went for a drive and then I came back. I didn't think that you would wake up. I'm sorry, I should have left a note, but I was a bit upset."

"Why was you upset mom? Was it because of Stu?"

"No honey, well sort of. But I am fine now, I cleared my mind of everything that was upsetting me!"

"So you are happy again?" Lauren looked up at her, and Amy's heart melted as she saw the concerned look in her eyes.

"Yes honey, I am. Now you have school in the morning, go back to bed." Lauren began to sulk. "Now noodle, unless you want to look ugly for school..." A look of horror took over Laurens face and she quickly kissed her mom before running upstairs.

Maxine started after her. "I'm not going to ask where you went or what you did but I hope you are being sensible!"

"Ma!"

"I know, shut up!" Maxine sighed. She walked up to her room and closed her door.

She thought over everything that had happened. She was finding it all too much to take in. She had nobody to really talk about it with either. Bruce had always been her confident and now, and now he wasn't. Not after what had happened, and besides, who was she going to talk to about him. She couldn't talk to him about her messed up feelings. She wasn't sure if she really did just love him as a friend. That kiss, it had changed tings between them. But she still couldn't decide. She didn't love Bruce as something more than a friend, or did she? They had gotten so close lately that she wasn't sure of her feelings. Things would never be the same, ever!

Amy quietly crept upstairs and into Laurens room, where she was curled up under her duvet. She smiled at her daughter. She had so little to worry about in the world, and she knew little of the horrors she could face. She lay down next to her and wrapped her arms around her and slowly drifted off into a troubled sleep.


	14. Close Encounters

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show.

**Chapter 14: Close Encounters**  
  
Amy sat up; she was fed up of not being able to sleep. She glanced at the clock, 5:45am. She sat up and left Lauren's bed to get ready for the day. She took a long time to get ready, but as she was dressing she noticed the bruises on her shoulders, abdomen and her hips. She blinked away tears and carried on dressing putting on long, thick trousers and several layers of thin tops. Making a conscious decision to go to the courthouse to catch up on some files she had been neglecting through lack of time.

* * *

By the time it got to 7:30, Amy was down stairs making breakfast for everybody, the back door opened and Kyle walked in. "Hiya Amy, how's things going?"  
  
"Fine," it was becoming her most used word, "LAUREN, I WILL NOT TELL YOU AGAIN!" 

"You always say that, but you **always** say it again," Kyle smirked as Amy stuck her tongue out.  
  
"LAUREN!"  
  
"What?" Amy jumped, Lauren was standing right beside her.  
  
"Breakfast, eat it!"  
  
"I'm not hungry."  
  
"You have to eat something!" Amy was getting impatient.  
  
"But I am not hungry." Lauren placed a hand on her hip.  
  
"You will be and then you will be moaning at school."  
  
"There's lunch at school!"  
  
"Just eat something, please!" Lauren sat down just as Maxine walked in.  
  
"Morning all, morning Kyle. What are you doing here?"  
  
"You mean a guy can't just visit his family for breakfast?"  
  
"Not when you are usually still in a coma like state at this time in the morning!"  
  
"Ok, ok.... my fridge is empty, alright?"  
  
"That's more like it," Maxine smiled and ruffled Kyle's hair as she walked past.  
  
For some reason Lauren had made her way back upstairs, "LAUREN, why is it I have to constantly tell you to hurry up, you will be late," Amy paused trying to think of what would make her daughter hurry, "and that will mean me driving you right up to the school gates!" Suddenly there was a thump and Lauren came running down the back stairs.

"I'm ready, lets go!" Amy sighed, but ushered her daughter to the door before she could think of something else she had to do.

* * *

As they pulled up to the Lauren approved dropping off spot another car pulled up behind them. Lauren rushed to get out, and Amy noticed her sudden change in mood. 

"So, who's in the car behind us then?" She smiled as her daughter squirmed in her seat.  
  
"Nobody!"

"Sure.... nobody," Amy let her daughter go and watched as she met up with.... a boy. She shook her head and started to pull away from the curb, she wasn't ready to watch her daughter with a boy. She didn't notice that the car behind also pulled away and stayed with her all the way to the courthouse.

* * *

"Morning Judge Gray," Amy looked up from locking her car. David was standing next to her, smiling. "So you have to drop your kid off a block away too!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I was the car behind you, in fact I was pretty much behind you the whole way here.... did you not notice?"  
  
"No, sorry I have a lot on my mind." Struggling with the files she was holding, David stepped forward and managed to catch them as they fell from her arms.  
  
"Are you ok?" David looked at her concerned  
  
"I'm fine," she tried to take the files back but her wrists gave way, _"Damn it!"  
_  
"Look, I'm in no rush, I'll carry these to your chambers for you." Amy reluctantly agreed and she held her wrists close to her as they walked.  
  
When they reached her chambers, Amy fumbled with her keys and went to take the files as she opened the door. David moved them out of her reach. "I will put them on your desk, I don't want you to strain your wrists any more than you have to." Amy looked away shyly before walking in.  
  
"You can't help me all day, besides I have a bigger pile to carry later on. Not being in court is a good chance to catch up on some paperwork."  
  
"Well when are you leaving?"  
  
"5ish.... possibly,"  
  
"I'll be here, so don't go before.... ok?" Amy looked at him and blushed; he loved the effect he was having on her, "You won't leave before I get here will you?" Amy shook her head.  
  
"Thank you,"  
  
"You are completely welcome!" David glanced at his watch, he was 10 minutes late, but he didn't care. He would have stayed all day with her if he thought he could get away with it, he started towards the door, "See you at 5ish," he closed the door behind him, _"Sweetheart."_

* * *

Amy sat staring at the door until it opened unexpectedly. 

"Amy?" Stu walked in. Amy jumped up and backed against the wall. "Amy don't be stupid, I'm not going to hurt you."  
  
"Yeah right, don't come anywhere near me!"  
  
"But Amy...."  
  
"Judge Gray, thank you very much, leave my chambers at once!"  
  
"Amy, I am not leaving until you hear me out, I love you."  
  
"Yeah you love me so much you broke my wrist and sprained the other one."  
  
"It was an accident."  
  
"No it wasn't, you refused to let go, even when I was screaming in pain!"  
  
"I.... I didn't mean to hurt you.... I'm sorry!"  
  
"Well it's just not good enough Stu, now leave before I call security" Amy picked up the phone, finger hovering above the panic button.  
  
"Don't Amy, you can trust me."  
  
"No I can't, now leave," as Stu looked down, Amy took her chance and pressed the button and as he looked up she put the receiver down.  
  
"That's better," completely oblivious to the fact she had pressed the button, "Now I want you to know that I can change for you!" He started walking towards her, when he was within a metre of her, the doors burst open and security ran in.  
  
"Are you ok Judge Gray?"  
  
"Do I look ok?" Amy questioned, the guards walked towards her and Stu and backed off.  
  
"What seems to be the problem?" One of the officers said grinning as he glanced from first Stu to Amy and back again.  
  
"I want you to remove Mr Collins from my chambers,"  
  
"On what grounds?" One of the officers elbowed the other one to stop him laughing.  
  
Amy was trying desperately not to react to the officers who weren't acting professionally "Well let's see, yesterday he assaulted me, broke one of my wrists and sprained another!"

"Weren't you two getting hitched last Saturday?" The other guard asked  
  
"We were, we didn't, we broke up! I think that is enough about my private life, how about you two doing your jobs!" Amy sneered.  
  
"Yes mam!" The guards stepped towards Stu, who stepped back towards Amy,  
  
_"Come on Amy we don't need this kind of behaviour!"_ Stu hissed  
  
"Obviously we do!" Amy backed further away from him.  
  
"Sir, you are going to have to come with us I'm afraid" Stu stepped reluctantly towards the guards and left with them. Amy breathed a sigh of relief.

If only David had stayed a few more minutes she would have been safe.... she didn't really know that, she just assumed that he would have protected her against him. She thought back to how things had been a couple of months ago, her automatic reaction would have been to think of Bruce, but that was all changing, very quickly.

* * *

Amy looked at the clock, it was almost 5; she collected her files to take home together and sat reading the last one of the night. She then noticed a letter sitting on her desk and wondered how she had missed it, she took her letter opener and slit open the side, but as she did so her hand slipped and she cut herself and swore. It wasn't a bad cut; in fact it hardly bled. She abandoned the letter and carried on with her reading.  
  
Her head kept drooping as her body began to complain about the lack of sleep. She started to give in to her heavy eyelids and drifted off. She didn't hear the door slowly being opened, then close, or the quiet footsteps walking up to the back of her chair. She slept soundly, as her chair was turned.... 


	15. Don't LeavePart 2

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show.

**Chapter 15: Don't Leave-Part 2  
**  
David looked down at her sleeping body, she was so peaceful and childlike, he wanted to scoop her into his arms and carry her home, but he knew that it was something that was not likely to happen just like that.

He knelt down, and stroked her cheek, _"Judge Gray, wake up,"_ Amy exploded back in her chair, and sat shaking as her chair swung from side to side against the wall. Her breathing was laboured and she clutched the arms of the chair. "Judge Gray?" David moved towards her and touched her hand; she flinched. As he looked at her she seemed to be looking through him, not at him. "Amy?" he lowered a hand to her back, and began to rub it trying to bring her back into focus. Her breathing began to slow and she looked up slightly, still shaken and confused, embarrassed as to why he was rubbing her back.  
  
"David?"  
  
"Uhuh," he was concentrating on his rhythm.  
  
"Why are you rubbing my back?" She looked into his eyes.  
  
"You went into shock, I woke you up and then you didn't seem to focus on what was really there." He carried on, not wanting to stop.  
  
_"Sorry," _Amy whispered as she looked back down.  
  
"Don't apologise, I should be the one saying sorry, I woke you up."

He hadn't stopped rubbing, and it turned into more of a massage now she was focussed "Are you ready to leave?" Amy had started to relax and lean into David's moving hands,  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Are you ready to leave?" She swallowed before a moan that was aching to escape was released,  
  
"N.... not.... j.... just yet," She slurred her words as her head swayed to the side, David looked on in delight as he felt her react to his touch. "Mmmmm...." She shivered as a tingling sensation shot down her spine. "That's nice.... hang on...." he stopped as she removed her jacket and two of the many layers of tops she had applied that morning.  
  
She stood up and walked over to the couch so she could be more comfortable and sat down, she motioned for David to follow. He sat down next to her, as she swivelled round so that her back was facing him, he cautiously laid his hands on her back and began working away again. She moaned in appreciation as she closed her eyes, completely relaxed and trusting David to the full. He moved onto her shoulder and she shot bolt upright as she clenched her teeth in pain.  
  
"What's wrong Judge Gray?" David quickly withdrew his hands, full of concern. He touched her other shoulder in an effort to get a response, and she winced away from his touch.  
  
"Y.... you can call me Amy, and its nothing just a bruise."  
  
"On both shoulders?" Amy didn't answer and she kept her back turned against him. Covering her face with his hands. _"Amy?"_ He reached around her waist and started to pull her closer to him. She tensed, and he felt this, and so moved his hands to her hips to pull her round and saw her eyes filling with tears as she tried to ignore the pain he was causing her._ "Amy? What happened to you?"_ David put his hands to her face and gently moved her hands way to brush her tears away. "Amy?" She still hadn't looked at him, she went to pull away, but was stopped by his firm, kind hands. She finally looked him in the eye.  
  
_"Please, please don't hurt me...."_  
  
"Hurt you? Why would I hurt you?" She looked away again, and he put an arm around her waist pulling her in so close that he could feel the warmth of her skin against his. He leant in so he cheek was touching hers, _"Amy, who hurt you?"  
_  
"S...." She stopped herself, and raised a hand to push David away, but whimpered as she felt a sharp pain shoot through her arm. Turning her face away from him, so he couldn't see the pain in her eyes. She didn't want to tell him. She wasn't ready, she couldn't face what had happened, and to say it out loud....  
  
"Amy, tell me, you can trust me." He stroked her cheek as she turned to him. "Please tell me!" Memories of when his wife had been murdered and the fact even now they don't know who did it; drove him to push her further. "It's important, Amy please!"  
  
She turned to look at him and saw the deep desperation in his eyes, _"Stu,"_ she whispered and then collapsed into David's chest sobbing.

At first, the impact of the name froze him, but Amy's sobs soon had him holding her tightly to him, slowly rocking her. He cradled her head in one hand and as her sobs subsided, she lay still, exhausted. He couldn't believe what she had just told him. No wonder she ended their engagement, he couldn't quite understand how it had gone on for as long as it did. He gently stroked her cheek, wiping away the last few tears that fell before reaching for the blanket on the back of the couch and wrapping it around her. He held her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. He laid her down, and then he moved to the door.

Amy opened her eyes, but didn't have the energy to move. She was scared to be left alone, but at the same time she wanted to be. She needed time to think. Everything was moving so fast. First Bruce, and now David. And Stu was back!  
  
_"David,"_ He turned to look at her, _"Don't leave me...."_

He flicked the lock, staying by the door at first, not sure what to do, then he got her chair and moved it next to the couch and took her hand in his as he lay back into the chair.

Amy closed her eyes again and slowly fell asleep, as the past weeks events caught up with her.

He couldn't believe she had trusted him enough to fall asleep with him in the room. He smiled in the knowledge that he would win her heart for himself. She deserved to be treated like a princess and, if nobody else was going to treat her that way, he was going to himself. He closed his eyes thinking about all the ways he could spoil her and then he too fell asleep.

* * *

A noise awakened David, it took him a while to get his bearings, but as he looked at the door, through the frosted glass he saw somebody with a torch. 


	16. MisunderstandingsPart 1

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show. I do however own the character Roderick Jones.

_Background: Roderick Jones was the investigating officer on Kelly's murder. He transferred to Hartford Police Department so as to keep an eye on David. As he still believed that he was involved in Kelly's death._

**Chapter 16: Misunderstandings-Part 1**  
  
"JUDGE GRAY, ARE YOU ALRIGHT IN THERE?"

David released Amy's hand and slowly walked over to the door, he flicked the lock and the door swung open. Many torches being shone in his face met David, he squinted at them as several hands grabbed him and pulled him away from Amy's chambers.  
  
"Hey, hey, get off of me! What are you doing?"

David struggled but it was all in vain as he was led to an office down the hall and thrown in as the light was switched on. As his eyes adjusted to the light he saw the same police officer who had on several occasions made it clear, that he felt that David had been the one to kill his wife. None other than the Roderick Jones. He took a deep breath, and put his head in his hands.  
  
"Well, well, well. If it's not the **very** same David McClaren that **butchered** his wife! Got **bored** did you and decide to target a judge this time, as some sort of a **challenge**? You have a competitor for this one you know, although I'm not sure if your competition **actually** wants to kill her...."

He left the sentence in the air, waiting for David to react. David held his tongue, knowing that what ever he said would be turned against him. He thought back to when he had been arrested for his wife's death. All the pain he had gone through, even after he had been cleared.

* * *

Back in Amy's chambers, the investigating officers looked around the room and saw several items of clothing that belonged to Amy behind her desk. Just by looking at Amy she didn't look like she was wearing any clothes, the thick blanket covered her apart from her arm. From a distance she looked dead; she was extremely pale, from shock and her breathing was so slow and quiet it was not noticeable. They saw a letter opener on her desk, and as they looked closer they saw blood lining the blade. One of the officers carefully picked it up and slipped it into a plastic evidence bag. 

Amy slept peacefully through all this, the light being on didn't even stir her. Her breathing was slow and rhythmic, and she was completely relaxed and at ease. She was dreaming about David, and how they had met and she dreamt about how Lauren had been as a baby, and she dreamt that she had met David before Michael and she dreamt on how happy she would have been, if only this had all happened.

* * *

Back in the office, David glanced up at an officer that walked in with a plastic bag, which was placed in front of him. The contents made him go pale, as he dug the palms of his hands into his eyes, he tried to block out images of his wife's murder. 

"So.... **haven't **moved on to another **form** of weapon I see, slightly smaller blade, but then she **does** still have her **head**!" David clenched his fists at this.  
  
He was slightly confused; Amy as far as he knew was not dead. She was just sleeping, but the blood on the letter opener (shaped as a knife) begged to differ. He thought back to when he had entered Amy's chambers. She had been sleeping, he had woken her. She had been alive. Amy had relaxed as he massaged her back, then she had cried when she told him about Stu, then she had fallen asleep after asking him to stay with her. He had himself then fallen asleep holding her hand. All these thoughts bounced around in his head, he hated the fact that Roderick Jones seemed to be following him , wherever he went and never left him alone, leaving him meaningful glances whenever their paths crossed.

"Any comments Mr McClaren, or are you staying as **quiet** on this as you did with inquiries into your **wife's** death! **Preferred** to stay out of it, even though it was **all-your-fault**!"

This comment touched a raw nerve and David began shaking from the efforts to control himself. Roderick smiled in glee at the reaction he was getting from David, a little bit longer and he would surely break and confess.


	17. MisunderstandingsPart 2

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show. I do however own Roderick Jones and Martin Roes.

**Chapter 17: Misunderstandings-Part 2**  
  
The paramedics finally arrived, and were confused at their findings. On taking her pulse they found that although it was slow, it was very strong, so put it's speed down to how relaxed she seemed to be, coming to the same conclusion in relation to her breathing. Her colour they couldn't explain, but on lifting the blanket they saw she was fully clothed, and no major wound could be seen without them having to move her. They did notice however a small wound on her hand, which to their expert eye looked like a letter opener cut. They left Amy's chambers' completely perplexed as to why they had been called out.  
  
They walked to the office where the chief interrogating officer; Martin Roes, stood watching as his colleague worked on David, and beckoned him out. "We were wondering why you called us,"  
  
"You were called because there was a murder or an attempted one!"  
  
"Well where is this victim then, we must have gone into the wrong room."  
  
"In Judge Gray's chambers," The officer said impatiently  
  
"Who is the victim?"  
  
"The one and only body in the room.... Judge Gray!"  
  
"The one on the couch?"  
  
"Yes,"  
  
"She's not dead, and hardly injured, she's sleeping! The only wound on her is a small cut on her hand, which we believe was caused by a letter opener and was done several hours ago."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Definitely!" Martin took a deep breath. He apologised for wasting the paramedic's time and walked slowly back into the office.

* * *

"**So**.... tell me David, why was the door locked? **Wanted** to make it look like she **wasn't** there, had **gone** home?" Finally David could take it no longer.  
  
"Look since my wife died, I have this thing where I have to lock doors behind me. Ok?" He sighed and tried desperately not to look at the knife in front of him.  
  
"You expect **me** to believe **that**?"  
  
"I don't care what you believe, I don't care that you think I killed my wife and I don't care that you are blaming me for Amy's...." He choked on the words _"But she's not dead, she's just sleeping!"_

"**Whispering **it doesn't make it any **truer** McClaren! **She's-dead-and-you-killed-her**!"

The words cut through David like a knife. He let go of all his feelings and sobbed into his hands. His heart felt like it had broken in two, he had been so happy earlier, he didn't understand; he didn't understand anything anymore.


	18. MisunderstandingsPart 3

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show. I do however own Roderick Jones and Martin Roes.

**Chapter 18: Misunderstandings-Part 3  
**  
Martin rushed over to Roderick, "Stop speaking, will you!"  
  
"But he almost cracked!" Roderick stood up indignantly,  
  
"Don't be **stupid** Rod, she's not even dead; **she's sleeping**!" David looked up at this and glanced briefly at the knife on the table and then at the officers.  
  
"That's not even funny, I've almost cracked this guy and you just want to take over so you can get the credit!"  
  
"Do you want to see for yourself? Did you even **bother** to ask the investigating officers to check her pulse.... no? Thought not! You'll be up in front of the review board for this. You have just caused this poor man, who's wife was murdered a mere **2 **years ago to relive it and all the horrors from that, as well as telling him he murdered somebody else. I'm amazed he didn't break down before now!"  
  
Martin took a deep breath before he walked over to David.

"I am so sorry Mr McClaren, you will be compensated, although I know there is nothing that can truly make up for what has happened this evening. I apologise on behalf of the precinct, I know no words can really help you right now!"  
  
_"Is she awake?"_ he said through his hands,  
  
"What? Um no!" David stood up, all the doubts he had been having about his relationship with Amy were leaving his mind slowly.  
  
"Can I go be with her now, please?" the officer nodded and David ran out of the room and down to where Amy was, he closed the door behind him and locked it. He stood for a moment, she looked so peaceful, for a brief moment he thought about leaving her. They were moving extremely fast and he wanted to slow down. But he had to be sure, he had to be sure that she was truely alive. That she hadn't been hurt. He knelt beside her and checked her pulse for himself. Not trusting anything that they had said. He stroked her cheek and Amy stirred. _"Amy, are you ok?"_ he placed a hand gently on her shoulder as she sat up.

Slightly confused, Amy rubbed her eyes and looked at him. Upon seeing his tear stained face she reached for him and questioned him concerned; "David? What's wrong?"

With those words he grabbed her and kissed her. Kissed her because she was alive, kissed her because he was alive and kissed her because that same cop had been wrong again! Amy pulled back, shocked at the intenseness of the kiss.  
  
_"I'm sorry,"_ he said beginning to shake, with Amy now being the carer she pulled David up onto the couch and held his head to her as she ran her fingers through his hair. He let out a sigh and the tears began to rapidly fall, not showing any signs of stopping. All thoughts of slowing down had left. Amy was providing him with the much needed comfort he had been searching for since his wife had died.  
  
_"Shhh.... what happened? Why are you so upset?"_ Amy was confused, _"David?"_ As David's tears slowed he managed to tell her what had happened;  
  
"And when they told me you were dead, and I had killed you.... I.... then when they let me come back because the paramedics said you were just sleeping, when I saw for myself that you were ok, I had to.... _I **had **to kiss you_"

Amy smiled at that last bit; she held his head in her hands and lowered her face gently placing her lips on his. He reached up and put a hand behind her head to draw her closer, they melted into one another.


	19. Tripping

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show.

**Chapter 19: Tripping**

Light streamed through the windows as dawn broke, even as the light got brighter neither Amy nor David stirred. The events from the night before had tired them both emotionally and physically. Soon the court was alive with people, the halls were crowded and the courts full. There was a knock on the door. Amy stirred slightly and moaned, ignoring the knocking noise. But the knocking persisted, causing David to wake. "Not again"

"I'll get it," Amy offered, knowing exactly what David was fearing.

"No, no I will get it," David struggled to get up, but his feet were tangled in the blanket and so only managed to fall to the floor, as Amy moved to the door giggling.

"Have a nice trip," She tried the handle.

"It's locked," David said as he managed to free himself. Amy looked confused but flicked the lock and opened the door, Stu rushed forward, grabbing her.

He pushed her up against the wall and went to kiss her. Amy ducked down under his arms. Amy cried out as he grabbed her wrist and started to drag her out of her chambers. "Amy, you need to come with me!"

"Get off me," Amy whimpered, she felt David slip his arms around her and hold her, Stu looked back to see why Amy had become so hard to pull. He dropped her wrist in shock and his face turned red in anger.

"**McClaren**, what are you doing here?" He seethed

"What are you doing abusing Judge Gray?" He replied moving Amy to the side and stepping towards Stu aggressively. Amy rushed to her desk and pushed her panic button. She stayed well back as David and Stu threw insults at each other.

"Why were you in here with her, with .... with the door locked?"

"That is none of your business!" David moved to close the door, but Stu placed his foot in the way.

"Answer me!" Stu growled

"No!" David pushed harder on the door till Stu finally retracted his foot and David quickly locked it. Stu pounded on the door, but found no way of getting in.

Amy sighed in relief and rushed over to David, I could have done with you yesterday."

"What happened yesterday?" He held her in his arms tightly.

"Nothing...." Amy looked away

"Amy, come on. What happened?" He lifted her chin with his finger looking directly into her eyes.

"After you left,"

"Yes, after I left, what happened?" David wished he had stayed with her instead of blowing her off just so his boss wouldn't be mad.

"After you left, Stu, he came in here, and he, he tried to get me to take him back, and I called security and they came but took forever to remove him.... they asked so many questions, I could tell they were making fun, like it was just.... just a lovers tiff!"

Amy's eyes filled with tears and she buried her face in his chest. They stood in silence, neither of them wanting to speak. Their silence was met by a sharp knock at the door. This time both of them answered it and were met by the police.

"We came as fast as we could." David looked questionably at Amy.

"Well you are too late, Mr Collin's came back again and I don't know what he would have done if it hadn't have been for Mr McClaren." Amy breathed out, slightly annoyed at their so-called speed.

They looked confused, but when they saw her face, they realised she was being serious. "I see," one of them replied, "Have you got a restraining order against him?"

Amy sighed, she hadn't thought of that. She hadn't thought it was going to be necessary. "No, but I am going to get one now." The officers left and David put an arm around her and she leant into him. "Why is it my life always has to get so complicated?"

"I don't know honey, I don't know." Amy blushed at this, and David grinned. This was soon wiped from his face as he saw his boss storming towards them.

"I have been looking for you all over the place, I have left you so many messages, there is no space to leave any more! And here I find you with your arms wrapped round a judge!" He glared at David, then turned to Amy, "Afternoon Judge Gray."

"Afternoon," Amy returned

"I'm sorry but...." David released Amy and moved away from her "Can I speak to you in private? Please."

The two men walked away and David quickly explained all of yesterday's events and last nights, which had him fighting tears. Lastly he explained the interruption of that morning and his boss stared at him in shock.

"Take the week off, no in fact, as long as you need, stay with her it sounds like she needs you."

"Thank you, I owe you!"

"No you don't, it seems like you need the rest as well after what you were accused of, even if you were cleared. I'm sorry this had to happen to you David."

They shook hands, before David moved back towards Amy's chambers.

* * *

While David was away, Amy walked over to her desk and picked up the letter she had abandoned yesterday, and opened it. 

_"Just an office memo, definitely not worth getting cut for."_ She muttered as she threw it in the trash.

She collected her files together and went to pick them up, when her wrist gave way. She swore through clenched teeth and bent down to pick them up. But found the constant pain in her wrist made this impossible. She sat back on the couch, clutching her wrist, trying desperately not to cry.

David walked in, to see the floor decorated by files, and Amy sitting hunched on the sofa. "Well, haven't you been busy whilst I was gone! Decided to redecorate I see."

When Amy didn't reply or even look up, he moved towards her and sat down. Laying a hand on her back, he spoke again. "Hello Amy, are you ok?" She turned to face him, the pain in her eyes must have shown because he pulled her into a hug and didn't let go.

"Amy what happened, it looks like world war 3 in here!" He smiled, but suddenly looked grim, "Stu didn't come back again did he?" Amy shook her head, but still didn't speak. David looked down and noticed her clutching her wrist. "Is it your wrist?" Amy nodded, and tears began to cascade down her cheeks.

David shook his head before he spoke again. "Right, lets get this room cleaned up and then I am taking you to the hospital. Are these all the files you were taking home?" David indicated to the floor, Amy nodded as David bent and picked them all up. "Right lets go." He put the files under one arm and put another around Amy.

* * *

"I'm afraid the wrist has now shattered. You should be more careful. Even with a strap on it is delicate!" The doctor stated, 

"Look, it wasn't her fault, the guy who caused the initial break came back and attacked her again, ok?!" Amy stared at David in horror.

"You were attacked the first time? On your file it just says you fell"

Amy shook her head, she thought it had been too easy to have Kyle be the one to write up her file so no questions were asked. "Yes I was attacked, right here in this hospital if you must know! But I didn't want it getting out, I am a judge you know! The fact that I had been pregnant managed to get out!" It was David's turn to look at her in horror. He swallowed the questions he wanted to ask her and looked away.

"I see, well if that is what you want!"

"Yes, it is. Now can you fix it please?!" Amy looked pleadingly at him.

"You will need an operation to fix it, but we won't be able to do it till...." He checked his schedule, "tomorrow morning!"

"Does this mean I have to stay in over night?"

"Normally yes, but we have been extremely busy lately and are short of beds, you will need to stay in a quiet place tonight and not eat any breakfast tomorrow. If you do, we will have to put off the operation, and I am not free for another week. So bear in mind the pain you would have to endure just so you could have breakfast!"

Amy nodded and stood up. She took David's hand in hers and squeezed it; she looked back in concern because he didn't reciprocate. But he didn't meet her eye. When they got to the car, David didn't help her in, and she stared at him confused. Before they came to the hospital he had been so close to her, not letting her move out of his reach, yet now he seemed to be trying to get away from her. She did up her seat belt, before turning to face him. "So what's up?"

"Nothing," He replied grumpily.

"Yes there is, ever since...." It suddenly dawned on her, that his mood had changed, the second she had said she had been....

"David I'm not pregnant any more, I, I mean I had a miscarriage. That's why I was in hospital, and that's why Stu is even back here. He had gone on our...." She was cut off from speaking by David, as he placed lips on hers. He caressed her cheek as they kissed. When they finally separated, David spoke,

"I trust you in every way, and I know that you would not lie to me. I will stick by you through everything. Ok? But you also have to trust me, you have to trust me and tell me things!" Amy nodded, she knew that she should have told him, but yesterday didn't seem right, it seemed too soon.


	20. Fragile Heart

Disclaimer: I do not own JA any of the characters, or anything to do with the show. I also do not own any of the songs used, or the artists who sang/wrote them.

_Summary: Amy had stayed the night at David's and the next morning she went to hospital and had her operation. The doctor had asked David to look after her, and made sure she recovered from the operation with no problems._

**Chapter 20: Fragile Heart**

Stu struggled with his feelings as he hung up the phone. Amy had been back in hospital. McClaren he had been told was looking after her, and she was spending the night with him, tonight. Unknown to him this was to be their third night together, but he was still angered with her for moving on so easily.

* * *

_'A fragile heart, was broken before  
__I don't think it could endure another pain  
__But there's a voice, from deep inside of you  
__That's calling out, to make you realise'_

* * *

Amy closed her eyes and gritted her teeth in pain. When she opened them again David was back, with some coffee. 

"Do you have any wine?"

"Yes, but you aren't allowed them with the drugs you are on!"

"Yes I am, just in moderation."

"But to be safe, we'll stick to coffee." He slipped an arm around her as she pouted. He turned her head. "Look I don't want anything to happen to you, you're in a lot of pain, and I appreciate that, but alcohol won't help with that, not in the long term. You need to recover from the anaesthetic, and the painkillers will soon start to work!" Amy smiled.

* * *

_'That this new bond, gives inspiration  
__To all I feel, and love appeal no more  
__So how can I break, this wall around you  
__That's aiding both our hearts to grow in pain.'_

* * *

"That's better, now where do you want to sleep?" She looked at him with a grin on her face. "I mean from either the couch or Victors bed." 

"Where is Victor?" Amy asked playfully,

"He is at a friends, something about a film festival run or something and he just** had** to watch it with his friends" David knew what Amy was thinking, but her also knew that he wasn't ready for that kind of thing.

"What about your bed?" Amy looked at him as he turned away. "Huh, why can't I sleep there, it will be a lot more comfortable than this couch or I can imagine your sons bed!" He glanced back at her and saw her expectant face.

"I, um, I'm not..." David became embarrassed.

"I don't want to be alone tonight that's all, and this couch is so..." She leant into him and kissed him. Only a peck, it was meant for getting his attention and nothing more. He looked into her eyes and gave in,

"It will be nice to not be alone for once!"

"You weren't alone last night, or the night before," the thought of last night sent chills down her spine. Although nothing had happened, she had felt somehow complete.

* * *

_'So forget, your past,  
__And we can dream tomorrow  
__Save our hearts, for care and lovin too  
__It's hard, I know,  
__But oh one things for sure  
__Don't go, and break this fragile heart'_

* * *

David smiled, "Well they don't count, one was at work and the other you just weren't being trusted not to stuff your face." Amy slapped him playfully, 

"I do not stuff my face!"

"I have seen no proof of this!" Amy smiled and laid her head on his chest, feeling quite comfortable where she was. He stroked her hair and she felt her eyelids droop, she fought them at first, but the rhythmic beating of David's heart lulled her into a slumber.

* * *

_'A hurting mind, in need of emotion  
__I don't think I could endure, another pain  
__But baby in you, I've found affection,  
__Affection I have, never felt before'_

* * *

For a short while David dozed, but was brought round by Amy struggling against his arms. _"Amy, sweetie, Shhh..."_ He stroked her hair and she slowly calmed down and snuggled into him. He slowly eased her off of him and stood up. He was feeling guilty about Kelly, and so decided to go for a run to clear his head. He turned off the alarm and grabbed his keys. Locking the door behind him, he stretched before starting around the block, sticking to where the streetlights clearly lit a path.

* * *

Stu pulled up outside David's house; he sat there not sure what he was really there for. Suddenly David running past the car brought him out of his thoughts. David didn't seem to notice him, and this gave Stu an idea. She was alone, with nobody to protect her, finally she would hear him out. 

He got out of his car and walked to the front door, he checked it but it was locked. He tested the window next to it and found that it required little force to open it. He crawled through, landing softly on the other side, where he stood up and surveyed the room. His eyes eventually came to rest on Amy's head. Stepping towards the couch, he noticed her starting to stir. He sped up so that he was soon sitting next to her; she woke up,

"David?" Blinking a few times before she registered who was next to her, "No get off me!" Stu held her down, while he tried to speak. But Amy screaming led him to cover her mouth. Tears began to stream down her face as she struggled to cope with what was happening to her. She couldn't understand why Stu was here or why David wasn't. She could hear Stu talking but she didn't understand the words he was saying, she was panicking, to such an extreme that Stu began to regret coming here. For some reason he had thought that her hearing him out, would have her running back into his arms.

_"David please help me. Where ever you are help me!" _

* * *

_'So don't let, your past,  
__Destroy what comes tomorrow  
__Don't go, and break this fragile heart'_

* * *

After running several blocks, David slightly out of breath turned back. He had a bad feeling that kept him at a run, reaching his street he started to sprint. His heart stopped as he reached the front door. The window was ajar, and he could hear muffled noises inside. _'Please let her just be having a nightmare again' _He prayed as he pushed his key into the lock and burst into the house. "Amy!" 

Stu looked up and jumped, David lunged at him and missed as Stu ducked and ran out of the open front door. Amy was curled up on the floor against the couch, shaking. David quickly secured the window, double-checked that it was definitely locked, then locked the front door and turned the alarm back on. Finally he went to Amy, who backed away from him. It hurt David to see her like this, he felt guilty about leaving, but was glad in the fact that he had saved her, saved her from the man who seemed destined to carry on hurting her. He reached for her and she moved away again.

"Amy it's me, come on you can trust me!" He sat on the edge of the couch beside her.

"_Where, where were you?"_ Amy whispered, tears pouring unchecked down her cheeks.

David felt his heart melt, she was just like a child and he longed to wrap her in his arms holding her tight to reassure her. But she flinched away when he reached out. "Amy please, let me..." He reached out again and put his hand on her back. Slowly stroking with his fingers, Amy's breathing slowed and her tears stopped. She looked back at him, and he smiled at her.

She let him pull her to her feet and he lifted her up and carried her to his room. He sat with her on his lap and rocked her till she stopped shaking; only then did he try to explain to her where he had been. "Amy I didn't mean for you to get hurt, I went for a run to clear my head. I didn't know that window wasn't shut properly! I should never have gone, but... Amy I am so sorry. I will never leave you again, ever!" She began to cry again, everything that had happened with Stu was overwhelming her, she had felt some regret for leaving Stu at the alter, but now all that regret was gone. All because of the way he was acting now.

Amy clutched his chest as David rocked her and her tears slowly stopped and she looked up at him and traced his lip with her fingers. He reached up and held her hand as he leaned in and kissed her. The kiss released all pent up passion and all their inhibitions went out the window. David laid back pulling Amy on top of him.

* * *

_'With all this fire, that burns between us  
__There is so much to lose, yet so much more to gain  
__And if I could choose, the world around me,  
__The world I'd choose, would all revolve around you,  
__So help me complete, the game inside me  
__And help to mend, to mend this fragile heart'_


	21. Everything But The Kitchen Sink

Dislaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

_Summary: It had been almost 2 weeks since Stu had attacked Amy in the David's house, worried that Stu might come back, David suggested that they leave Hartford for a short break._

**Chapter 21: Everything But The Kitchen Sink**

Maxine had just gotten off the phone with Amy. She called up to Lauren who came running down the stairs.

"Is mom coming home?" She asked excited

"Yes, but only to collect some things, she is going away for a while," Maxine hated the fact that Amy had left it to her to break the news to Lauren.

"But she's been away already," Her face fell.

"Yes but not properly, she was at work and stuff,"

"So when is she coming?" Lauren asked.

"She is leaving right now, so she should be here in about 15 minutes," Lauren smiled and ran back up to her room.

* * *

When David pulled up to the curb, he patted Amy's arm before she got out of the car. "I'll wait for you here, until you come get me, then I will carry your bags, ok?" 

"Yes, I know, I promise I won't carry my bags." Amy smiled and climbed out of the car and ran up the path to the front door. She reached for the handle, but the door opened and she was attacked.... by her daughter. Who gave her a fierce hug.

"I thought you were too old to miss your mom!" Amy smiled as Lauren stepped back.

"Um, no, yeah.... well you have been away, and now you going away again!"

"I know noodle, it's just I have a lot to sort out, that's all," Lauren glanced around Amy.

"So.... who's in the car? Is that who you are going with?" Amy blushed,

"Um yeah, sort of. He's my ride."

"Yeah whatever mom!" Lauren smirked, "You tell yourself whatever you want!" She walked back into the house and up to her bedroom.

"Lauren?"

She stopped on the stairs and turned round, "What?"

"You know I am coming back, I'm not leaving you.... you know that don't you?"

"Yes mom, I know you just have some **issues** that you need to sort out!" She started back up the stairs and Amy sighed, before following.

Amy quickly stuffed her clothes in her case, trying desperately to ignore the pain in her wrist. Finally she pushed her case off the bed and it landed with a loud thud on the floor. Maxine came running into her room. "Amy are you.... oh, I thought you were hurt!" She smiled at her daughter.

"I'm fine ma, I just realised that clothes really do weigh a lot!" She puffed as she pushed the case upright.

"Are you gonna be alright carrying it, I mean with your wrist and all?"

"Yes, well actually, I'm sort of not carrying it, I have somebody to do that for me!" Amy blushed again.

"Amy.... are you sure you are doing the right thing, I mean taking him back...." Maxine said in horror, thinking that she was taking Stu back.

"No ma, I'm not going with Stu, I wouldn't even dream of it!" Amy moved past Maxine and went down the stairs.

"Well **who** are you going with?"

"You'll see in a minute...." Amy ran out the door and beckoned David over, he started up the path and when he reached her he went to kiss her, but she placed a finger on his lips. "Not yet, ok?" David nodded and followed her into the house. Maxine stood staring at him as he followed Amy up the stairs and moved to the side still gawping.

"Well hello there, nice to meet you." She held out her hand to David, who took it and shook it,

"Nice to meet you too, Amy never mentioned she had a sister." Amy rolled her eyes, as Maxine blushed.

"David this is my mother, and mom this is David." Maxine smiled at her daughter. Maybe for once she had met somebody who could really take care of her. Although she still felt it was too soon after Stu, but she knew if she said anything, Amy wouldn't listen anyway, so she stayed quiet.

* * *

"What have you got in here Amy.... are you bringing the house with you as well?" David struggled with her case, almost dropping it several times as he made his way to the car. 

"Just clothes, and some shoes and...."

"I don't want to know," He threw her case into the back of his car, and opened the door for Amy.

Maxine watching from the window and smiled knowingly. Amy always landed on her feet, always. She turned away as Amy got into the car. She didn't need to watch this, she just hoped that David treated her well, and didn't break her daughters heart.

* * *

Amy sat in the passenger seat and tried to calm herself before David got into the car. But the excitement was too much for her. As soon as he sat down she grabbed his head and kissed him with all herself. They stayed together as though stuck in a time warp, until the lack of oxygen started to make them feel dizzy. Amy sat back in her seat with a look of satisfaction on her face. David didn't move at first, not quite back in reality yet.

"Um yeah, yeah lets go." He closed his door and turned the ignition, slowly he pulled away from the curb, he was trying desperately not to look at Amy, knowing that if he did he would not be able to drive anywhere. The fact that she was so close, yet he couldn't do anything sent a shiver up his spine, and when she reached out and put her hand on his knee, he thought he his head was going to explode. The car swerved slightly and Amy withdrew her hand. David reached over to turn the radio on, just as she did. Their hands brushed each other, their fingers interlocked and they sat in silence as he drove as fast as he could, within the limit.

"So where is Victor? He can't have been staying at a friends for all this time." Amy asked, desperate to start a conversation.

"He's, um at Kelly's mother's house." David retracted his hand and gripped the wheel. He was starting to feel guilty about what was going on. In Amy's chambers he had wanted to slow down. And now they were about to spend the weekend together. He was starting to become unsure of himself, but he also knew that Amy needed him, and he felt a deep understanding with that. He felt like he owed her something, he owed it to her to keep her safe, like he hadn't been able to with Kelly.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything" Amy looked down into her lap, biting her lip. Wishing she hadn't brought it up.

"No it's fine, don't worry about it." David glanced over at Amy and saw that she was upset, he looked back at the road. The silence started to get to him and he reached for the radio and turned it on, glad to have something else to concentrate on.

After 4 hours of driving, David pulled into a rest stop, Amy was fast asleep and so he locked the car not wanting to disturb her and went alone to get some drinks.

* * *

While he was gone Amy woke up and stared around her. The radio was still on and she was confused, she had no idea where she was or where David was. She got out the car to stretch her legs, and after walking around the car a couple of times she headed for the rest room. 

David returned, on seeing Amy gone he dropped the drinks and ran to the car. "Amy, Amy, where are you?" He tried the door, it was unlocked, he looked around and couldn't see anybody apart from a couple of kids. He began to panic, what if Stu had followed them, and what if while he had been gone he had gotten to her. He sat on the floor by Amy's door and put his head in his hands and cried.

Amy noticed the drinks on the floor, thinking David had been hurt she ran to the car, wild thoughts of Stu flashed through her mind. When she rounded the car, she saw David and almost laughed in relief, but when saw him crying, she calmed herself and knelt next to him.

"David?"

"Go away, she's gone and now I'm alone again. Leave me be!"

"David it's me! Who's gone David?" His sobbing caused him not to recognise her voice and so replied as though she was a stranger.

"Amy, Amy is gone!" He started shaking "She's gone, I left her alone, I promised I would never leave her and I did, and now she's gone!" Amy felt something rise inside herself at those words; she meant that much to him.

"David, listen to me" She placed a hand on his arm "David I'm here. I haven't gone anywhere." He looked up. Relief shot through his body and he threw his arms around her pulling her close and holding her so tightly that she couldn't breathe. "David, could.... could you loosen.... your hold.... I can't breathe!" He reached for her face and kissed her quickly, and then looked her over checking she was ok, before he spoke again.

"You're ok, you're really ok?"

"Yes, what did you think had happened?"

"I don't know, I thought maybe Stu had followed us and..... and maybe he...." He kissed her again "I'm sorry I left you in the car, it's just you were sleeping and you looked, so adorable, I just couldn't bear to wake you!" Amy smiled got up and put out her good hand.

"Come on, we better get going. I'll go rescue the drinks." She helped him up and then walked back to the drinks, while David started the car and drove to where she was standing. Amy got in and they continued on with their journey.


	22. Broken

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. 

**Chapter 22: Broken**

After a while Amy fell asleep again. The last few weeks had really tired her out both emotionally and physically and this journey wasn't really helping. David smiled as he drove, all thoughts about the last few days had left his mind, and he was only thinking about what was going to happen tonight. He finally felt ready, the last two weeks had been hardsomething had almost happened but he had stopped himself, and they had gone to sleep with his arms wrapped around her.

He turned off the main road and started down some quiet country roads. It wasn't long before he pulled up to a small cottage; he got out of the car and walked round to Amy's side. He opened her door and stroked her cheek._ "We're here Amy, time to wake_ _up,"_ Amy stirred but didn't wake. He picked her up and quietly closed the car door and locked it. He carried her up to their room and placed her on the bed. He wrapped a sheet around her then went down to unpack. He emptied the trunk taking all their belongings and shopping into the hall. The food he had packed was soon stored in the fridge and he picked up the cases and carried them up with him. He heard the shower and his heart raced, as he thought of her naked, how beautiful she must be, and he thought proudly of the fact that she was his.

When he reached their room he laid the cases on the floor and sat on the bed to take his shoes off. He felt the bed move, he turned to see Amy on the bed with a robe wrapped round her slender body, starting to tie her hair back.

"Amy,"

"Yes," she paused

"Don't put your hair up, I like it down."

"But it's wet," Amy protested

"I know," He smiled as he said it and crawled across the bed towards her.

"Oh no you don't" Amy backed off the bed releasing her hair as she stumbled back into the bathroom. She jumped in the shower and closed the curtain. David quickly joined her, and began to tickle her. "Stop or I'll turn the shower on."

"You wouldn't dare!" He carried on,

"Want a bet?" Amy reached up and turned the knob, water cascaded out of the showerhead, soaking David and re-soaking Amy. "See," She started to laugh again, as David pulled her to him, holding her head in his hands he kissed her gently on the lips. As the kiss intensified, he reached down to the robe's tie and pulled it lose. The robe opened and he slipped his arms inside pulling her naked body closer to him. Amy pulled her head back, "hey that's no fair," she smiled as she lifted his shirt and kissed his chest. He helped her with his shirt until it landed on the floor then he reached for her again as she undid his belt. She looked up at him, and as he looked into her eyes, he gasped. All the love that Amy had was open and laid out, waiting for him to embrace it, take it and cherish it. He kissed her neck as he turned the shower off, then he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the bed. He admired her body as he removed his jeans. _She's even more beautiful then I could have imagined. _He smiled as she reached out, pulling him on top of her. She gave all of herself, all of her defences were down and he worshipped her body, getting to know it before he joined it. Their bodies became one as they moved in unison. An act so beautiful they wept, David felt her appreciation as she moaned and then bliss enveloped them both.

* * *

David wasn't sure what woke him at first, but another kick from Amy conformed what had. He held her tightly, _"Amy, shhh.... quiet.... you're dreaming.... shhh,"_ She struggled against him; he could feel her body tensing all over. He ran a hand down her back, trying to calm her, but it was to no avail. He shook her and she shot bolt upright. 

"**What?** Where am.... oh," She lay back into David's arms. _"Sorry."_

_"That's ok honey, that's ok,"_ He gently stroked her hair away from her face and kissed her gently before wrapping his arms around her and snuggling into her. Slowly tiredness crept in and with a sigh they both fell asleep.

The next morning David quietly got and up and he went down to the kitchen, he sat looking out of the window, the last few weeks he had been nightmare free. He wasn't sure if it was because Amy had been with him, or if it was because he was just so tired or if it was because he had been constantly taking care of Amy. He didn't regret last night, although he did regret the fact he was letting them move so fast. This could ruin everything, he couldn't get rid of the feeling that maybe Amy regretted what happened.

He went back up to the bedroom and smiled as he saw Amy peacefully sleeping, totally unaware that he had even left her. He kissed her lightly on her forehead and then went into the bathroom to have a shower.

"STU NO, GET OFF ME, STOP IT!" Amy screamed as she fell off the bed, wrestling with the sheets. "NO PLEASE DON'T, I DON'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE! DAVID, DAVID. STU GET AWAY FROM ME! DAVID WHERE ARE YOU?" David panicked when he heard her screaming and ran out of the shower, stopping only to wrap a towel round himself. He quickly picked Amy up, only to be hit several times round the head. He sat on the bed holding her tightly.

"Amy, wake up. Amy come on now, you're having another nightmare." David tried desperately to wake her.

Amy could hear David's voice, but she couldn't see him, all she could see was Stu advancing towards her. Then somebody else appeared, it shocked her. She began to cry and collapsed in a heap, curling into a ball.

Amy stopped struggling in David's arms but she was still tense and she was mumbling, _"No, no, please don't hurt me, please, please. David please...." _He started to shake Amy; finally she woke with a sudden gasp of breath. _"David?"_

"Shhh.... you had another nightmare." He gently rocked her, but started to worry. He didn't know what she had dreamt of but she had called for him first but then she seemed to be scared of him. He gently stroked her cheek as he hugged her.

"I'm fine, I'm fine now." Amy went to get off of David's lap. He pulled her into a kiss, but she pushed him away. "I need to go have a shower." She got up and almost ran into the bathroom, closing the door quickly behind her.

David was stunned, and just sat there. He couldn't contemplate what had just happened. She had just rejected his kiss. Finally he moved and got his clothes and dressed. Slowly he went down and started to make breakfast. Still trying to come to terms with what had happened.

* * *

Amy sat in the shower. She wasn't sure exactly why she had pushed him away. Her dream had scared her. It had seemed so real, so close to what it had been like in his house. But he had rescued her then, but in her dream.... he didn't and.... she shook her head trying to free the memories of her dream. _"Maybe I need to slow things down a bit. Maybe it is too soon."_ She whispered. But stopped herself from saying them too loud. She realised it wasn't the best time to come to that conclusion. But with being away from Stu and things, she could finally relax and put things into perspective.

* * *

Downstairs David had finished cooking breakfast and was waiting patiently for Amy to come down. When she finally did walk in, she looked very serious and he dreaded what was coming next, "David we need to talk," 

"What about?"

"About us, we need to, we need to slow things down a bit."

"If that is what you want," David looked down at his breakfast and pushed it away and stood up.

"David, please don't be upset," Amy looked at him wishing that she had waited to tell him.

"How can.... how can you say that?" He walked out of the cottage, and ran past the car and into a field. He sat down with his back against a tree. He closed his eyes, trying to pretend that the conversation hadn't happened, trying not to cry.

He had let everything go with Amy. He had moved faster than he would ever have dreamed of going, he had felt only a small amount of guilt for Kelly. Now **she** wanted to slow down. He didn't want to feel regret for what had happened between them, but after what Amy had said, that is all he could feel.

He felt so confused, his emotions were all over the place, he couldn't understand what had happened, why it had happened or what lay instore for them. He covered his face with his hands, as though it could stop reality facing up to him. He thought back over the past few weeks. It had all been like a fairytale. He had been her knight in shining armour and she had been the damsel in distress. He had saved her twice and he had looked after her, and she had comforted him. He had made love to her, something he didn't think he would ever be able to do with another woman after Kelly. And now, and now the dream was shattered as though somebody had been controlling them, and they had got bored and dropped the glass ball that contained them, to destroy the happiness of them both.


	23. Regrets

Disclaimer: I do not own JA, the characters or the song mentioned in this chapter.

_Summary: It has been three weeks since the weekend away together and David had disappeared almost as soon as they had gotten back into Hartford._

**Chapter 23: Regrets**

* * *

_'Loneliness, is always looking for a friend  
__It found me once, and it has been around since then  
__Loneliness, is never waiting by the door  
__It sweeps right through, and it will never be ignored  
__Why, why was I, chosen?  
__Why am I left without'_

* * *

Amy sat in her chambers crying. It had been three weeks since their weekend together and he had made no contact with her. She knew it was all her fault but she was starting to regret being with him. Especially that soon after the "wedding", she wished he hadn't been so charming and she wished she hadn't fallen for him. But most of all what she wished for right now was that she hadn't said anything at all. She hated the fact that now she was back at work she had to stay composed and concentrate on others, especially the cases she had to work on.

* * *

Bruce had found it hard coming back to work. Having not seen Amy for nearly six weeks he was nervous about how she was going to act around him; after what happened the last time they were together. He took a deep breath and walked into her chambers, he looked up at her desk only to see her chair-swinging round so he couldn't see her. He stepped up to her desk.

* * *

_'The love of my life, the love that I need  
__The love that they say, is in life for free  
__The love of my dreams,  
__The love that I want  
__Loneliness knows me by name.'_

* * *

Amy tried to suppress her sobbing when she saw Bruce come in. But it was to no avail as Bruce was soon by her side and down on his knees. 

"Judge Gray, what's wrong?"

"Oh Bruce, you know you can call me Amy, why do you insist on calling me that?"

"Amy, what's wrong?"

"You said you wanted no involvement in my love life any more!" Amy sniffed and tried to wipe away her tears.

"Amy did Stu come back again?"

Amy's tears fell faster and she looked away.

* * *

_'Loneliness, knows everything I keep inside  
__My endless thoughts, in the silence of the night  
__Loneliness, is the one who made me see  
__Aint nobody else, who can make a change but me  
__Why, why was I chosen?  
__Why am I left without'_

* * *

"Amy, did he hurt you again?" Bruce felt anger welling up inside of him. 

"Yes,"

"When, when did he hurt you, he didn't..."

"No he didn't Bruce."

"When did he, where?"

"Here, then at David's house..."

"You were at McClaren's house?"

Amy glanced at Bruce, noticing the jealousy in his tone. "Yes, David went for a run while I was sleeping, Stu broke in, and I was on the couch, and... and David only just got back in time before he..." Her voice choked.

"Did you call the police?"

"No,"

"Why? Did McClaren stop you?"

"No, we just didn't. Then I, we left town for the weekend to get away from him, and, and..." She was trying desperately not to fall into his arms.

"Stu followed you?" Bruce said his eyes widening

_"No,"_ Amy gave in and fell into his open arms. He held her tightly as she shook with sobbing. _"No, but... but David..."_

"McClaren hurt you didn't he!" He stood up and Amy almost fell to the ground, but he remembered her just in time and caught her. Picking her up till she was standing.

_"No he didn't hurt me... not physically." _

Bruce held her in his arms, wishing he would never have to let her go again. She started to move away from him but he gripped her, not letting her go.

"Bruce?" She looked up at him, "He didn't do anything really, I just said I wanted to take things slower... and we haven't... he hasn't spoken to me... since that weekend."

* * *

_'The love of my life, the love that I need  
__The love that they say is in life for free  
__The love of my dreams  
__The love that I want  
__Loneliness knows me by name.'_

* * *

"Amy, why do you always pick the wrong guys?" He stroked her hair and she nestled her head into his chest. Hoping that the world would just stop and she could stay in Bruce's comforting arms forever. She had been slightly shocked by what he had said, but she knew he was right and so didn't respond straight away. 

"I don't pick them, they pick me. Because I guess _I need them_... I accept them into my life!" She gripped his back, stopping him from leaving her, knowing that what she had just said was a slight insult on him. "I'm sorry I didn't mean..."

"I understand Amy, you don't have to put up an act for me, you know I just want you to be happy. What ever it is that does that, I will always be there for you."

"Like you were at my wedding?"

Bruce wasn't sure how to answer. It was true, he hadn't been there for her, and he hadn't supported her decision. "Amy you know why I wasn't there!"

"But if that's true, does that mean you aren't going to be at any of my weddings?"

"There's going to be more?" He chuckled, as she hit his chest.

"You know what I mean,"

"I know Amy, but I honestly can't answer that question. Maybe if I am content that the next guy you choose will make you as happy..."

"As you could?"

Bruce cleared his throat "as I feel I could make you... then I would be there for you!"

Amy laid her head on his chest and squeezed him to her. David had broken her heart, and again she was left alone. Alone with her sorrows, even Bruce couldn't change that anymore. All he could provide was comfort, as he held her in his strong arms.

* * *

_'Less is more, and that would be the vacant space  
__The cried out tears, and a never ending maze  
__I have found what only loneliness provides  
__Strength within, knowing I will find  
__The love of my life, the love that I need  
__The love that they say is in life for free  
__The love of dreams,  
__The love that I want  
__Loneliness knows me by name'_


	24. What Makes A Man

Disclaimer: I do not own JA, the characters or the song mentioned in this chapter

**Chapter 24: What Makes A Man**

David sat in his office, ignoring the pile of cases sat in front of him. He couldn't stop thinking about Amy. All he could think about was how she had looked while he had been making love to her, she had given herself to him, she had let all her defences fall, for him. He tried to forget the feeling he got when she smiled at him, the look she had in her eyes after he kissed her.

He was disturbed by a knock on the door.

"Come in" He didn't look up,

"Here are the files you wanted me to sign." Amy walked up to his desk. Her voice gripped his heart in a vice like grip.

"Amy..."

"I would appreciate it if you sent somebody who knew what it was that he wanted me to sign, so I don't have to research it!" He stood up and made to walk to her.

"Amy..."

"Goodbye... counsellor"

"Amy, please don't..." But she had already left. David put his head in his hands. What had he done?

* * *

_'This isn't goodbye, even as I watch you leave  
__This isn't goodbye  
__I swear I won't cry, even as tears fill my eyes  
__I swear I won't cry  
__Any other girl, I'd let you walk away  
__Any other girl, I'm sure I'd be ok.'_

* * *

Amy walked quickly back to her chambers, hoping that David wouldn't follow her. When she got there she slammed the door and ran to her couch where she collapsed on it crying. She wished Donna had turned up on time, so she could have taken the files down to David. Seeing him there, knowing that he was back and that he hadn't been in contact with her broke her heart. She didn't think that she was going to be able to take much more of this. Her heart felt like it had been ripped out and stomped on. The tears were running like a river down her face and she gripped onto the sofa as if it could give her some comfort.

* * *

_'Tell me what makes a man  
__Wanna give you all his heart  
__Smile when you're around  
__And cry when you're apart  
__If you know what makes a man  
__Wanna love you the way I do  
__Girl you gonna let me know  
__So I can get over you'_

* * *

David knew what he had to do to start to fix things. He knew he was to blame, he hadn't spoken to her since that weekend, he couldn't imagine how she was feeling. He had disappeared on her, and he couldn't do that ever again. 

He had to make a promise to himself and to her, he had to make sure that she knew that he was honestly going to actually stick by his promise, by her and never to leave her again like he had done.

He had been regretting his reaction to Amy wanting to slow down. Instead of supporting her decision and admitting that he too had wanted to slow down, he had run away. He had broken his promise to her and that was no way to show that he was there for her!

* * *

_'What makes her so right?  
__Is it the sound of her laugh?  
__That look in her eyes  
__When do you decide?  
__She is the dream that you seek,  
__That force in your life.  
__When do you apologise, no matter who was wrong  
__When do you get on your knees if that would bring her home'_

* * *

David started to tap his pen trying to concentrate on his files, trying not to think about what he had done, the phone call he had just made. Or the way he hoped Amy would react. 

"Damn it," his pen flicked across the room and landed on the floor.

* * *

_'Tell me what makes a man  
__Wanna give you all his heart  
__Smile when you're around  
__And cry when you're apart  
__If you know what makes a man  
__Wanna love you the way I do  
__Girl you gotta let me know.'_

* * *

Amy had finally managed to compose herself, when Donna came bouncing into the office. 

"Guess what I've got?"

"What?" Amy said not looking up as Donna pulled a bunch of long stemmed red roses from behind her back.

"Roses for you... there are 24!" Donna was bouncing up and down in excitment.

"You counted?" Trying not to sound interested.

"Obviously, 12 is a classic, but 24 is double that. Does it mean anything special to you?"

"No, throw them away!"

"But you haven't even read the card!"

"I don't want to, I know who they are from and I don't want to speak to them right now."

"Reading the card isn't speaking to them! It's reading!" Donna pushed, Amy snatched the card off of Donna and ripped it open. Tears returned to her eyes as she read it.

"Throw... throw them away!" Donna looked stunned. Here was Amy crying at what was in the card and then telling her to throw the roses away. Donna reached out for the card, but Amy moved it out of her reach.

"Look, I'll make you a deal, give me the card and I will throw the roses away!" Donna reached for it eagerly.

"Fine" Amy handed her the card.

_24 roses, one for every hour  
__of every day that I think about you._

_D xxx_

"You can't throw them away, David sent them."

"That's why I can't accept them, if you won't throw them away, I will!" Amy reached for the roses, but Donna stepped back. "Donna, give them to me!"

"You can't throw them!"

"Fine send them back to him!" Donna thought about it before she headed down to his office. She started to feel really sorry for him, he didn't deserve this, but whatever he had done, must have been bad.

* * *

Thinking it was Amy; David rushed to the door when there was a knock. The look on his face when he saw it was Donna and the roses he had sent Amy. 

"Why do you have..."

"The roses you sent Amy, well she refused to accept them and only read the card because I forced her. She asked me to throw them away, but I refused so she asked me to send them back to you... and here I am with the roses."

"Thank you," He took the roses from her and closed the door. Then he opened it again and called after Donna. She turned and walked back. "I have something for you to give to her." He quickly wrote a note, took one single rose and handed them to Donna. "Please can you give this to her, thank you!"

Donna almost ran back up to Amy's chambers.

"Donna I told you to throw them away."

"No you said send them back, and he sent this back to you!" Donna handed her the rose and note.

_To the one who means so much to me  
__I made a mistake I know  
__Not talking to you hurt me too  
__And now I want to apologise  
__Please accept this single rose,  
__That represents my tears,  
__I miss you with all my heart_

_D xxx_

* * *

_'What makes her so right?  
__Is it the sound of her laugh?  
__That look in her eyes  
__When do you decide?  
__She is the dream that you seek,  
__That force in your life.  
__When do you apologise, no matter who was wrong  
__When do you get on your knees if that would bring her home'_


	25. Acceptance

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters, (apart from Becca Morris, Dominic Hill and Harry Franklin) I did use the last episode to help me to write out the court case, changing what I needed, so if it seems slightly familiar....that is why.

**Chapter 25: Acceptance**

Amy sat in her chambers trying not to look at all the gifts David had sent her. There were little teddy bears, there were roses there were cards. He just had not given up. It had been 2 weeks exactly since David had sent the first bunch of roses, and Amy was finding it harder and harder to turn away his gifts, they had eventually been allowed to stay on the table on the other side of the room. A painful reminder of what had happened to their relationship.

Finally Bruce came and collected her for her first case of the day. It was one she had been dreading but she wasn't sure why. It was a simple case of a fight between gang's. As she sat down in her chair she noticed the defendant staring intently at her, making her feel extremely uncomfortable.

"Ok, we are here on review of Dominic Hill's charge of threatening and violent behaviour." She looked up and glanced quickly at the defendant who was unnerving her. "I see the defendant is present, as is counsel." 

"Harry Franklin your honour"

"Becca Morris your honour, and frankly I am wondering what we are all doing here!"

"I'm sure the state will be happy to enlighten you, Mr Franklin."

"Your honour, we're here because this boy is a walking time bomb"

"Yeah" Dominic starred at her with a smirk on his face.

"Your honour I would appreciate it if the state would avoid using charged language when referring to my client" Becca stood before Harry could continue.

"It's a fair request Mr Franklin" Amy nodded in agreement.

"Actually your honour, the state feels that this is an accurate characterisation. We will prove this defendant wrote highly threatening remarks on his gangs website and a hit list and a working floor plan of the Holly Jakes Memorial High School. As well as attacks being made on pupils inflicted by Mr Hill's gang" At this remark Amy noticed how Dominic nodded and smiled as if he was proud.

"Are you saying the authorities suspect a plot to attack the school?" Amy asked slightly shocked, thinking of Lauren being at school and how somebody could attack her school, just as easily.

"I don't think that there can be any other explanation for all the evidence found!"

"The state has decided that alleged attacks and a piece of paper mean my client is going to commit a crime!" Becca smiled pleased with her remark.

Amy sighed, this was going nowhere, and she looked at Bruce who just shrugged.

"Mr Van Exel, when can we hear testimony on this matter?"

"3.30,"

"3.30 attorneys and please wear your professional faces when you return. See you then." Turning to Bruce. "Next case."

* * *

When Amy got back to her chambers there was a single rose tied to the handle. 

_'David will you just give up?' _She muttered as she unlocked her door.

"And why would I want to do that?" Amy jumped round, and calmed slightly when she saw it was David.

"Counsellor, you made me jump!"

"I noticed and it's David,"

"Look, I can't deal with this right now. I have a really tough case, which I could rule on now, but I haven't heard their testimonies yet. And I don't know why I am telling you this because quite frankly it is none of your business." Amy was trying desperately not to cry, David turning up....it was all just too much for her.

"Amy...." David stepped towards her noticing the tears welling up in her eyes.

"David don't," Amy held up a hand.

"But...."

"Just leave will you, it's hard enough to concentrate with all your presents but with you here too...."

"Are you saying I am a distraction?" He grinned.

"You know what I mean,"

"Amy, you have to hear me out!"

"No counsellor!" Amy had a flash back of Stu, David was starting to act so much like him, and it began to scare her.

"Judge Gray are you ok?"

"Mr Van Exel...." Bruce stepped into the room, and David sensed that it was time to leave.

_"I will speak to you later." _He moved to the door and turned to see Amy in Bruce's arms crying. He stood, not sure how he was meant to carry on after that. For every second longer that she stayed in his arms he felt his heart crack that little bit more. He turned and left and to his dismay, every step he took felt like a punch in the stomach.

* * *

It was 4.00pm and Amy had heard nearly everything she needed to hear. She had been told how Dominic's gang had killed 2 students of the rival school and had injured several others. She had decided deep down that all the evidence pointed to a large-scale attack on the school and she wasn't going to let that happen. All she had left to do was hear the closing statements of both parties then she could go home to justify the ruling she was going to make. 

"I don't see what the big deal is. I make a site for my gang others may visit it. And I draw up a plan of our rivals school, so what!"

"What about the hit list?"

"That, its just the names of the other "gang", and a few others."

"Why did you need to write them down?" Harry questioned, slowly thinking of a plan to get him to trip and reveal everything

"I wanted to,"

"Two names are crossed off in red,"

"So?"

"They are the two pupils that died in an attack."

"Yeah well I wrote them down remembered they were dead and then the only pen I could find was red."

"Why didn't you just cross them out in the pen you wrote their names down in?"

"Because I still wanted to be able to read their names,"

"Couldn't you just remember them?"

"Yes, but the rest of my gang might not,"

"So what do you mean by this?"

"It was used for fights, to decide who was to fight who."

"You had regular fights then?"

"Yes, every now and then we meet up and fight,"

"So both gangs agree on the fight?"

"They aren't a gang,"

"Why is that?"

"They are all poofs,"

"What do you mean?"

"If they were a gang then maybe we would leave them be, but they don't really fight, they just try and run away and we go after them, beat who ever we catch."

"Thank you your honour." Harry sat down satisfied that he had won his case.

Amy shook her head "You may step down Mr Hill."

Dominic stared at Amy a sly smile crept onto his lips. He nodded then sat down next to Becca who had her head in her hands.

* * *

David collapsed on his couch, not moving. He stared at the ceiling, with his eyes closed. They were sore from all the crying and he was too tired to keep them open. He heard a key in the lock but still didn't stir.

"Dad, can you take me to see L?" Victor threw his bag onto a chair.

"No."

"Why?"

"I don't want to talk about this with you Victor."

"This is about Mrs Gray isn't it? L says that she's been crying every night. L says she doesn't seem to be eating either.What happened?"

"You don't need to worry about that. Go do your homework."

"I've done it. You said that if I had done all my homework and you weren't busy, that you would always take me round there."

"Well I am busy."

"Yeah right. Whatever dad." Victor stormed off to his room and slammed his door.


	26. Threats

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. Warning: this chapter could be classed as **R **rated.

**Chapter 26: Threats**

Amy got back to her chambers, prepared just to grab her stuff and leave, but a note was stuck to the glass on her door. _Not again, when is he going to give? _She ripped the note off her door and almost didn't read it, but a feeling of foreboding begged her to open it.

_Hi Judge Gray  
__Ready to make a ruling yet?  
__Hope you don't regret it,  
__Lets just say, if you ignore it  
__We'll make it worth your while!_

_DH_

Amy gasped and quickly stuffed the note into her pocket; she opened her door and rushed in locking it behind her. Somebody knocked.

"Judge Gray, are you ok?"

"Bruce..." Amy opened the door and pulled him inside, she threw the note at him before she began pacing. "I don't need this, I really don't need this. I mean after everything that is complicating my life, I just really don't need this!"

Bruce read the note through several times before he approached Amy. She fell into his arms and he held her.

"Don't worry Judge Gray, you will be fine. Call the police and they will set up some protection for you!"

"Fat lot of good that did last time." Amy shuddered as she remembered the last stalker. The fear that had been instilled in her, even now she looked over her shoulder constantly.

"Judge Gray you still need protection, you have to tell someone."

"I told you..."

"You still need to tell the police. Maybe they will be better this time!" Amy shook her head. "I'm not leaving you till you phone them!"

"Well I guess you're staying then!"

"Judge Gray come on..."

"Bruce you know I'm not going to call them so you may as well give up!" She pushed him away, grabbed her stuff and stormed out of her office. "Come on, I gotta go collect Lauren and you need to be out of my chambers before I lock it!"

Bruce quickly followed and they proceeded to walk to their cars.

"I don't need an escort,"

"Yes you do, and unless you phone the police, I will be your escort, at least to your car!" Amy smiled as she unlocked her car and sat down.

"Thank you."

* * *

Neither of them noticed the man who had followed them out of the courthouse and into the car park. The fact that he got into his car and followed Amy to Laurens school then followed her home. Amy had no idea how much danger she was going to be in once she made her ruling. If she stuck to her instincts and ignored the threat, that is.

* * *

"Mom, what does this mean. I don't understand." Lauren walked up to Amy who was in the middle of taking a mouthful of coffee. She took the note that Lauren handed her and almost choked. 

"Where did you get this Lauren?"

"I got it..."

"Where did you get it!"

"Give me a chance, I found it on the floor by the front door." Lauren who had started to look scared was now getting angry.

"I'm sorry sweetie, I'm sorry it just...it made me jump,"

"A note made you jump?"

"Well not exactly jump, just...stop asking questions!"

"But mom what does it mean?"

"Lauren Cassidy, I do not have to explain everything to you, now go to your room until you learn how to obey an adults ruling."

"I am not in your courtroom mom, you can't just make a ruling"

"Yes I can, I am your mother and I make the rules, now go to your room!" Lauren had a comeback but decided it was best just to leave her mother when she was in this kind of mood; it just wasn't worth it.

Amy read the note again,

_Hi Judge Gray  
__I know when you are alone  
__So watch your back_

_DH_

* * *

The next day Amy made her ruling. Dominic was sentenced for a minimum of 5 years in a young offenders institute, where he was to receive counselling and attend anger management classes. Dominic smiled all the way through Amy's speech, which kept almost putting her off, but she stuck with it and managed to carry it off without making a mistake. 

"Bullying somebody is taking away their lives, sometimes ending in tragedy. And in this case it has, what you and your gang did, not only affected the lives of those you bullied and killed, you affected their families too. Their mothers, fathers, brothers and sisters. Just because you belong to a gang, which isn't scared of anything, it doesn't give you some special right to hunt down others that are weaker than you, you will be punished for your actions. There are consequences to what you do, and the choices you make. You need to learn to make the right choices in life. I wish you all the best with that. I hope you learn from this Mr Hill. You have all your life ahead of you. Don't end it because you get angry at some people. It isn't clever to run after people who can't defend themselves. It doesn't make you big and strong. It shows that you are a coward, only willing to fight battles you know you can win. You need to understand that what you have done is wrong, and many people have been hurt by your actions, you need to learn that the world is not yours for the taking, respect is something you have to earn, being feared is not being respected."

Amy glanced up at Dominic who mouthed _'You'll regret this, you really will.'_

* * *

Amy found that for the rest of the day it was hard to concentrate on anything and eventually she ended up going home slightly early. Luckily Lauren was going to a friends house so she didn't have to worry about her. After drinking half a bottle of wine Amy began to feel slightly better, she decided that to clear her head she would go for a run. 

Stepping out of the house she almost walked straight into David.

"Amy I need to speak to you,"

"David as you can see I am not home!"

"But I have you right in front of me!"

"But I am not at home, I am going out,"

"Where?"

"It's none of your business!"

"Have you been drinking?"

"No I haven't!"

"But..."

"Ok so I have, what is your point?"

"You're not driving are you?"

"No, I am going for a run, so now you know what I am doing and where I am going."

"That's not what I came here to speak about."

"David... I have a lot on my mind right now, it is just not worth it." Amy started to jog away from David who called after her.

"Amy, I just might join you," At this Amy quickened her pace, trying to get out of sight so that she could loose him. The wine had caused her to feel slightly out of it and she was finding it hard to keep up a pace. Finally she reached a group of trees and thought happily to herself how she had managed to get away from David. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder, and she stifled a scream as she turned around.

"David!" She stood there not knowing what else to say to him

"You thought you could get away did you?" Although he didn't mean it, his tone of voice was scaring Amy. "You really should learn some short cuts, I've been here waiting for you!"

"David don't...please look, it's just" The fear in her eyes was evident and David stepped towards her.

"Amy I didn't mean to scare you."

"Well you did!" Amy turned quickly and sprinted away from him, dodging through the trees until she crashed headlong into somebody. "Sorry, sorry." The person she had bumped into helped her up.

"That's ok. I've been waiting for you." Amy's eyes widened in terror and she screamed. The man put his arms around her and although Amy struggled the wine she had drunk stopped her from being at full strength. She felt herself being dragged as she screamed; through the trees to the road where she was thrown into the trunk of the car.

* * *

David slowly followed Amy as she sprinted off, knowing that at the pace she was going she would soon have to stop. He smiled to reassure himself that he could salvage their relationship. He heard Amy scream and quickened his pace, thinking that maybe she had fallen over and hurt herself. But her screaming sounded more of somebody who was scared, he began to run as her screams intensified. Finally he reached the road as a car screeched away from the curb. David recognised the car but he couldn't think of where from. He refused to believe that Amy had been taken and went to search for her in the trees and found her trainer. His blood turned cold as he sank to his knees staring at it_. 'Why me? Why are you doing this to me? Why is every woman I lo...'_ David was shocked at what he had been about to say, and then he collapsed into a heap and cried. 

Concerned neighbours had called the police and when they arrived they found David still hunched into a ball holding Amy's trainer sobbing. They tried to get him to stand but eventually had to call an ambulance because he wasn't responding to them.

While all this had been going on, a man dressed in black had been watching. He had come to get Amy, but it seemed he wasn't the only one after her and he respected that. So he left.

* * *

Amy completely exhausted, gave up on banging on the trunk, and just lay there. After a short journey, which seemed like an eternity she felt her body being lifted out of the trunk, carried up some stairs and into an apartment. She felt her wrists being tied up and her feet thrown apart and tied also. She couldn't even muster up the energy to open her eyes. She wouldn't have seen anything even if she had because the room had been plunged into total darkness, as the windows had been blacked out and a seal placed around the door. She tried to block out all thoughts as she felt herself being violated and she cringed as her body was caressed. She clenched her eyes trying her hardest not to think about what was happening to her. She was completely and utterly helpless. 


	27. Tip Off

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters, however i do own the old lady.

**Chapter 27: Tip Off**

David tossed and turned in his sleep. His nightmare was getting clearer and clearer; he could almost smell the fear when Amy ran from him. He could sense her pain when the car screeched away. He woke up drenched in sweat. _'What am I going to do? I need my sweet, sweet Amy.'_

* * *

Victor had been completely confused by the removal from his home and how he ended being at the Gray's house. But he wasn't complaining it meant he could spend some more time with Lauren. But he had started to worry; the last time he had been removed from his house was when his Mom had been hurt, and his Dad had been accused of....he refused to think about it. He turned back to Lauren who hadn't even noticed him not paying attention. She as usual was her bright self who talked and talked like all girls her age did.

* * *

Amy woke and tried to sit up. The ropes tied around her limbs were a painful reminder of where she was. 

"So, you're awake."

Amy looked in the direction of the voice and cried out when she saw who was sitting there. Not a stalker, no, much worse....Stu.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"I want you back in my life, and the only way that is going to happen is if you are pregnant!"

"What? Stu don't be stupid. I will never want you back in my life, not after all you have done! Especially now, even if I do get pregnant, you will not be the one I turn to in support! It would be somebody who loves me and cares for me on equal terms. Not somebody who is a bully!"

Something in Stu's mind snapped and he jumped up at this and punched her in the face. Amy by some miracle didn't cry out and this angered Stu more. He hit her again, but much harder this time, and as much as Amy wished to stay silent she screamed. Her face had become numb in pain as he lashed out again. He moved on around her body. Not just her face or arms, all over her. Like he was trying to beat the thought of leaving him out of her.

* * *

After 2 weeks David had convinced the hospital that he was ok, with the help of his therapist. He went back to work and managed to get through the day. As he was leaving to go home, something caught his eye. He locked his car again and glanced around, nothing seemed unusual. Everybody's car was here, apart from Amy's. He clenched his fists in order to stop himself crying. Then it struck him, Stu's car looked very familiar and as he struggled to remember why, he realised it had been the car that had screeched away from the curb. _No he wouldn't. He couldn't. He would have to be insane, completely insane. And he's not like that._ Then it dawned on him. Stu had been strangely violent recently. He had already broken her wrist. What was kid napping compared to that? He jumped into his car and rushed to the police station.

* * *

They laughed at him, telling him he was crazy and so he decided to investigate for himself. He drove into Stu's street and stopped a few doors down. He sat on the front of his car and watched Stu's house, he had already arrived home so David didn't have to worry too much about being seen and scaring him off. 

An old woman walked up behind David and touched his arm, "Excuse me sir. Are you a police officer?"

David didn't really think about it, "Yes, is there some problem mam?"

"Not with me, no. But the house you are watching, it's the one owned by Mr Collins right?"

"Yes mam, what about it?"

"Well I have heard a lot of screams lately and at first I was, well to be honest I was shocked but put it down to how you young ones act these days." David smiled grimly at what she was hinting at. "Well dear, I heard these screams and then what sounded like pleading. And a lot of crying and so I began to think that something was up with whoever Mr Collins has in there."

"Thank you mam, that is very helpful. I need you to go and phone the police right now."

"But you are the police!"

"Yes mam I am," he said not wanting to scare the old lady, "but I think I will need some back up with this one."

"Can't you just use your radio gadget thing?"

"Um, it's broken!" David thought quickly "I am going to head in, but you go back to your home where you will be safe and you call the police ok?"

"Yes sir, that I will" The old lady smiled and hobbled away, back to her home. As soon as she was out of sight, David hurried to Stu's front door. He could hear crying and muffled moans and screams. His adrenaline was pumping madly through his body, coursing through his veins as he knocked on the door. By the time it was answered David was so hyped up, he punched Stu without a moments hesitation, Stu fell back against the wall and stayed on the ground holding his head.

David rushed through the house searching for Amy, he finally found Stu's bedroom and he switched the light on as he entered. The sight that met his eyes made him vomit. Amy was naked, with her limbs tied to the bedposts. Her body was bleeding, with bruises piled upon bruises. She was almost unrecognisable if it were not for her hair. He rushed over to the bed and untied her, knowing that he was tampering with a crime scene he tried to touch as little as possible. He reached for a clean sheet that was on the back of a chair and wrapped Amy in it.

* * *

Amy could hear a knock on the door and she prayed that it was somebody to rescue her. Stu had been particularly rough with her the last two days and she was finding it hard to breathe without shaking in pain and exhaustion. Stu switched the light off and slammed the bedroom door. She heard a thud and assumed he had sent off whoever had been at the door. Amy began crying again, as she heard footsteps coming towards the room she was in. She heard somebody throw up after opening the door. She was too exhausted to open her eyes and she couldn't have moved if she wanted to. She had almost given up on being found. She felt herself being untied and she cursed the fact that she had no strength left, or she could have fought back. She winced as her body was lifted and wrapped in a sheet. She felt herself being carried and was soon surrounded by bright light, she assumed she was now outside.

* * *

David carried her outside to his car and was about to drive off when the old lady waved at him. He opened his window to see what she wanted. 

"I called them like you asked but they said they didn't have any body watching Mr Collins place so they refused to come."

"I'm from another state, been watching this here Mr Collins for a long time. Call them again and say there was an attempted murder and the victim is being taken to St. Michaels hospital."


	28. Recovery

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 28: Recovery**

David had called Maxine and told her he had found her, no thanks to the Hartford Police Department. Maxine couldn't stop crying in relief and David had to repeat several times that he was hanging up. When Maxine arrived she told David that the police had come round and had told her that Stu had been arrested but was released to the hospital, to be admitted into the psychiatric ward. David smiled at this, knowing that at last Amy was free, free from the man he felt had been holding her back. Maxine smiled as she watched David with Amy, he was so tentative. So caring, never leaving her side if at all possible. He made sure she was comfortable at all times and he didn't seem too bothered about himself.

"David, I'm going to get some coffee, do you want to come?"

"No thank you, I want to stay with Amy, I don't trust this place will keep her safe."

"Ok, do you want me to bring you some coffee back though?"

"Yes please. Thank you Mrs Gray"

"Call me Maxine, it seems stupid you calling me Mrs Gray" David smiled but soon looked back in concern at Amy.

"Don't worry about her, you are right next to her and she is a strong girl. Many women wouldn't have lasted as long as she did!"

"I know, but that doesn't make it any easier. The fact is, it still happened and when I found a clue as to where she might be, the police just laughed at me."

"I know dear, I know! Now I'm going to get that coffee before your eyelids take your whole body as hostage!"

David laid his head on the bed, cradling Amy's hand. He closed his eyes and started to drift off to sleep. He jolted awake and looked up, he saw a man dressed in black messing with her IV line.

"Hey, HEY. What are you doing? Security, Security." David jumped up and yanked the IV line out of Amy's arm and kept on yelling as the man ran out. He was too scared to leave Amy incase he was a decoy to get Amy alone. He sat back down as he realised nobody was coming. Nobody had heard. No wonder Stu had managed to get to her and treat her the way he did the first time.

* * *

Amy could hear David yelling at somebody, but her mind was swimming and she felt incredibly nauseous. Slowly she blinked, and tried to sit up. "David?" She swallowed a scream as pain ripped through her body. 

David full of concern not daring to touch her tried to help her lay back down, "I'm so sorry my dear Amy, this is all my fault. I should have left you alone. Maybe you wouldn't have gone on a run. I wish you hadn't been in so much pain that you felt you needed that kind of release. I'm sorry I followed you, and I'm sorry I scared you. Most of all I'm sorry I didn't protect you when you needed it most. I'm sorry I took so long to find you, but the hospital wouldn't let me leave, and I'm sorry Stu was able to hurt you this much and in this way. I'm sorry I couldn't save you..." David held back sobs and moved away from the bed. Turning his back on her.

_"David, it's not your fault,"_

"But it is, I should have been there for you. I should have run faster. I should have caught up with you. I should have stopped him Amy. I should have stopped him!" Before Amy could reply David had run out of the room. He hovered outside her door until Maxine arrived. "Give the coffee to Amy, I have to go," With that he ran off.

Confused she walked towards Amy's bed. She noticed the IV line hanging down the side of the bed and called for a nurse. She didn't know why David had removed it, but she was sure it shouldn't have been.

"Amy, why did David remove your IV line?"

"I don't know I heard him yelling, maybe, maybe somebody tampered with it."

"I'll get them to get you a new one then, good to see you awake."

"I'm not it hurts like hell!"

"Surely not as much as when David found you?"

"More, because then I was numb with pain, whereas now, I can't move ma." Tears began running down her cheeks, "How can I go back to work looking like this. I'm not going to be taken seriously, either that or I am going have to have somebody with me 24 hours a day and that is not likely to happen."

"Why is that not likely to happen?"

"Because I won't let it. My life is screwed up enough, without having to be careful about every word I say because of some guy following me!"

"Amy be sensible..."

"Ma, I will not go through that again, last time he didn't even stay that close, it would just be too claustrophobic, I couldn't deal with that."

"And I couldn't deal with you being dead Amy. Be reasonable, and stop being selfish. You have a daughter to take care of, somebody you promised you weren't going to leave for a very long time. Now do you see why I lecture you about promises."

Amy closed her eyes. She couldn't roll over to escape her mother it was just too painful. And she couldn't send her mother away, because she was scared to be left alone.

* * *

"Amy, starting from this afternoon, you will have two armed officers outside your room. Only people on this list will be allowed through, and no doctors are allowed in unless Kyle is in here. So who do you want on this list?" 

"Lauren, you, Peter, Vincent, David, Victor-you know just in case he has to come with his dad."

"What about Gillian?"

"Her too."

"Bruce? Donna?"

"Donna,"

"What about Bruce?"

"No, not Bruce."

"Why not Amy? He saved your life before and now, well you can't stop him coming to see you."

"Yes I can ma, isn't that the whole point of the list?"

* * *

David was standing outside the hospital. He wanted to stay but he also wanted to run. He needed to get away. He was torn between what he had always done, and staying. Amy had turned him down, and refused to even speak to him. Yet she was speaking to him now. He finally turned on his heel and marched back up to her room.

* * *

"Name?" 

"McClaren."

"Which McClaren would that be?"

"The McClaren that saved her life."

"Yeah right! Name?"

"David McClaren."

"You may enter."

David pushed past the two officers and stood at the end of the Amy's bed. "Amy, I need to talk to you." Maxine stood up.

"I'll go get some more coffee." She stood up and left.

Amy winced as she tried to sit up. "Don't move, I don't want you to hurt any more." He moved to her side. "Amy, I want to know, I want to know if you will take me back."

"David I don't want to talk about it right now."

"But..."

"That doesn't mean I want you to go. It just means I don't want to talk about it." David sat down and took her hand in his and gently kissed it.

"I love you Amy."

"I love you too, that's why this is so hard for me. I asked you if we could slow down, and then you vanished. You ran away. You left me. You promised you would never leave me again, and you did! David, you left me..."

"Amy I am so sorry! I really am. I hate the fact that I left, and if I'm honest, I almost ran again. But I stopped myself Amy, I stopped myself." He squeezed her hand. "Amy if you want to slow down than we will. I respect you. I want you to be happy. I want you to be..."

_"Thank you, you have no idea how much that means to me!"_

"Amy, I love you. I know I have said it enough times that you won't forget, but it still seems surreal to me. So surreal."

"Hadn't you better go and look after Victor? He should be home now."

"Actually, he is still staying at yours. I kinda haven't left your side, so your mother suggested that he just stay there. In fact that is where I will be staying tonight, now that you have some protection."

"Why aren't you staying here tonight?"

"Amy I love you but if I don't get some sleep soon I think I may have to be admitted into hospital!"

"Oh, ok."Amy looked slightly disappointed.

"But I will be thinking of you all night!"

"Really?"

"Well I have been offered your bed for tonight, it's just a shame you won't be in it!" Amy looked away. "I'm sorry, I know. We have slowed the relationship down, but I can still dream can't I?"

"Just keep them clean, whilst you are in my room!" A grin crept onto her lips.

"Yes mam." He smiled and kissed her hand.

Maxine walked back in. "Coffee?"

Both David and Amy both accepted and eagerly sipped at their drinks.

"Amy, I hope you don't mind, but I offered David your bed for tonight. Just in case, you know the hospital calls for whatever reason, he will be there and we can both come straight away."

"Yeah it's fine ma. I've told David he has to be on his best behaviour whilst there. I don't want to come home to find my room in complete shambles." David squeezed her hand.

"Yes well, now that's all settled, I think it's time that we left."

"You can stay a bit longer."

"No we can't. The babysitter will kill us if we stayed much longer." David reluctantly released Amy's hand and followed Maxine out of the room.

* * *

Unknown to them all, since Stu had taken Amy, her stalker, hired by Dominic Hill, had been getting closer. He was watching her this very moment in hospital. And if it had not been for the officers out side her room, he could have been even closer. He was a patient man, but unfortunately, Domininc was not. He had changed his orders to something that required alot of careful planning, and that was all happening now. Her stalker was checking out her family, and was checking out David, whom through his research had discovered his wife had been murdered. That was where a plan had started to form in his mind, a plan that was to shatter everybody.

* * *

David sat on the end of Amy's bed. He looked around her room in awe. He changed for bed and got under the covers, switching out the light he laid his head down on the pillow. It smelt like Amy, and he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. He wished Amy could be beside him, he wished he could hold her tight, and he wished he could make her all better with just a simple kiss. With all those thoughts in his head he finally fell asleep.

* * *

After a week of lying in a hospital bed, Amy was finally ready to go home. It still hurt to move, but she could at least walk a short distance now. With the help of David she got into his car. 

"Finally I get to go home!"

"Yeah, but that means I have to go home too. I wish I didn't have to though. Your bed is definitely more comfortable than mine!"

Amy smiled had him and gently kissed his cheek. "You can stay if you want to."

"Really?"

"It will have to be on the couch though, and I can vouch for that being alot more comfy than your couch!"

* * *

That night Amy lay in her bed and was finding it hard to sleep. Her pillow seemed more lumpy. She reached under it, and found to her surprise, one of Davids t-shirts. There was a scrunched up note; 

_As I can't be there with you  
__I give you my shirt to comfort you  
__Protect you  
__And remind you of me_

_D xxx_

She put his shirt on and crept downstairs. David was lying on the couch, and he seemed to be asleep. She knelt down next to him and gently kissed his lips. He stirred and opened his eyes.

_"Amy?"_ He whispered.

_"Thank you for the shirt. The note was very sweet!"_

_"I'll give you all my shirts if it means I can have more kisses."_

_"Shhh, you go back to sleep. I will see you in the morning." _David grabbed onto her arm, stopping her from standing up.

_"Don't go."_

_"Hey, as you said my bed is very comfy."_

_"But I want to hold you and protect you. My shirt may not be up to the job!" _Amy tilted her head to one side and smiled. She reached for his hand and pulled him up, she slowly crept back upstairs with David close behind. They lay on Amy's bed in awkward silence. Finally Amy moved over and rested her arm on his chest. She snuggled into his side and started to go to sleep. _"Amy, I love you so much."_

_"I know you do, and I love you too." _She sat up on one elbow. He stroked her cheek as he leaned in to kiss her. _"David, don't. This isn't the best place to do that. It could easily get out of control."_

_"Yeah well, I am irresitable! But I just wanted a goodnight kiss."_

Amy pulled him to her, and gently brushed his lips with hers. _"There you are."_

_"That was a tease," _

_"Fine." _David kissed her again and had problems controlling himself. Amy pushed him away, before snuggling into his chest. _"See." _David wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly as they fell asleep.


	29. Hold On Tight

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. Warning: this chapter may be considered **R** rated.

**Chapter 29: Hold On Tight**

Amy woke up and smiled. David was still asleep, his arms were still wrapped protectively around her. She closed her eyes, not wanting to have to move.

"MOM, what are you doing?"

"Sleeping, go away." David stirred and went to sit up, but Amy held onto his arms, keeping him still.

"What is he doing in here?"

"He's sleeping."

"Whatever mom." Lauren stormed out and slammed her door.

"What was that all about? Oh I see...." Maxine entered Amy's room but quickly exited.

"Getting to sleep in is not a regular thing around here. Sorry."

"Don't apologise. Waking up with you in my arms is worth it." He squeezed her to him.

"Uhuh, really?"

"Yes really." He nuzzled her neck.

"We should get up,"

"I don't want to," Amy eased out of his arms and got up.

"The only person left in the house not to have walked in on us in this bed, is Victor. And I would like to have some dignity with at least one person."

"What about me?"

"You don't count." Amy smiled. "I'm going to have a shower, why don't you go down and have some breakfast."

"How come you get to have a shower first?"

"Because I am the invalid!" She went back to the bed and kissed him quickly on the lips, before sauntering towards the bathroom. David jumped up and followed her. "What are you doing?"

"Well, you might need some help, you know being the invalid and all!" He held her hips as he kissed her neck. She turned in his hands, and wrapped her arms around his neck in the doorway of the bathroom.

"I think I can manage, thank you very much." Amy grinned as he leant down to kiss her.

"Dad, Mrs Gray wants to know if you want some waffles?" Amy hid her face in David's chest as he replyed.

"Tell her I would, and that I will be down in a minute." Amy waited for Victor to leave before looking up.

"Ok, now I have no dignity. And I still haven't had a shower."

"You still have dignity."

"Go down to your breakfast or there will be none left."

"I'll save you some."

"Thanks," David left her to have her shower and went down to the waffles.

* * *

Amy sat on her bed contemplating everything that had happened. She shivered as she remembered where she had been just over a week ago. She dressed as quickly as she could, ignoring the pain the bruises caused her, before slowly making her way downstairs. 

"Hiya honey,"

"Where is everybody?"

"They are in the family room, watching tv."

"Oh, ok."

"So it is safe to do this," he held her close as he lowered his lips to hers, but just as they were about to join;

"Mom, can't you give it a rest for 2 seconds?" Lauren stormed out again.

"Well, that was...."

"Annoying?" Amy said searching for the right word.

"No, well yeah. But at least it means we have to take things slowly."

"Even if we didn't want to, we'd have to!" Amy sat down and began eating the waffles that David had saved for her. David sat next to her and watched her eat.

"You're cute when you eat."

"No I'm not. Nobody is cute when they eat."

"Sorry to interrupt guys. Just getting a drink for Lauren and Victor. Lauren was meant to be getting them, but apparently there is alot going wrong, and she doesn't want to enter the kitchen." Maxine smiled as she busied herself making some juice.

Both Amy and David stayed silent, and were staring into each others eyes.

"OK, I'm leaving now. I will be in the family room if you need anything." Maxine quickly left them and settled down in front of the tv again.

Amy looked away from David and carried on eating.

"Hey what are your plans for today?"

"I was thinking of going and getting some files to work on."

"You are a workoholic."

"I have been out of work for so long, I will be swamped when I return and I will then have a whole load of paperwork to do as well."

"Amy, I think you should rest for a few more days. You have only just got back from the hospital." She didn't reply. "Look, you aren't meant to return to work for quite a while yet. Give yourself some more time to recover."

"Ok, but when I do decide to go in, I will need you there."

"I will be, Abner has said that I can effectively move my stuff up to your chambers and then work from there. He will be pushing back all my cases that require me to go to court. So I will be there for you."

"Thank you,"

"You know I said you were cute when you were eating?"

"Yeah,"

"You're even cuter when you have syrup on your chin." He leaned forward and sucked off the syrup, before moving to kiss her mouth. But Amy pulled away. "What's wrong?"

"Lauren might walk in again."

"I don't mind."

"And I did want to take things slowly, and it seems like we aren't doing that, that the only thing we aren't doing is...." Amy got up. "I'm going to go shopping, I think we need some groceries. Coming?" David stood up and pulled Amy into a hug.

"I'm sorry, it's my fault. I will try and control myself." Amy gripped him tightly before moving away, and walking towards the family room.

"Thank you." Maxine looked up,

"What are you thanking me for dear,"

"Um, not you, David, and we are going shopping. Will it be ok if we leave the kids with you?"

"Yes, I don't have anywhere to be."

"Ok thanks mom." David followed Amy out of the house, but stopped when they got to Amy's car.

"We should go in mine, it's at the end of the drive, and you shouldn't be driving yet anyway."

"I can drive."

"I know you can, but you're not meant to." David took her hand and led her to his car. He opened the passenger door and helped her in.

* * *

They had finished shopping and were heading home, when David turned off and started towards his house. 

"Where are we going?"

"To my house, I need to pick up some more things." They pulled up at the house and got out. "Hang on here; I need to go check something." David disappeared around the back of the house, while Amy stood by the front door. She was fine at first but then she started looking around. Her breathing became faster and she began shaking.

_"This is stupid, I'm fine." _But she started to feel faint as she leant against a wall. She was finding it hard to breath and was panicking. _"I'm fine, I'm fine." _She was desperately trying to calm herself. The front door opened and she stumbled away from it.

"Amy," David rushed forward and pulled her into his arms. "Are you ok?"

"I'm.... I'm.... fine." She became limp in his arms, but was still conscious.

"Amy, you are not fine." Amy was breathing extremely hard and David swooped her into his arms and carried her into the house, laying her on the sofa. "Breath slowly,"

"I.... am."

"No, you are not. You are having a panic attack. You need to calm down."

"I...."

"Don't speak." David said, Amy went to protest but he placed a finger on her lips. "Shhh, concentrate on breathing slowly." Amy began to calm down, her breathing was not so fast and she managed to sit up.

"I'm fine now,"

"No you are not. Lay back down."

"No, I am fine."

"Do I have to restrain you?" Amy gave in and lay back down. "What happened? I was only gone for a few minutes."

"I don't know. I was fine, then I started looking around and then I couldn't breath and then and then you were there." David looked down a little upset with what she said.

"What, what's wrong?"

"It's nothing." David looked back at her and forced a smile on his face. "Everything is fine, I just need to get my stuff together and then we can go back to yours." He got up but Amy held onto his hand. "You can come with me if you want." David sensed her apprehension at being left alone again.

"I'm fine, but I'll come help you anyway." David helped her up. They stood close to each other, eyes locked, fingers entwined. He caressed the side of her face, and leaned in and gently touched her lips with his. Amy responded and slowly the kiss became deeper as she reached up and put her arms around his neck. David lifted her up and started towards the bedroom. He laid her down on the bed before she started to struggle.

"What's the matter?"

"We can't do this." Amy got up off of the bed and stood up, with her back to David. "I can't, I want to but I...." He got off the bed and slipped his arms around her.

"I understand, I'm sorry I got carried away. Again." Amy turned to face him.

"I'm sorry, it's not just that I wanted us to slow down, but what Stu did.... I just don't think I can ever, that I will be," she looked away. "I don't know what it will," David gripped her tightly.

"Amy, I'm sorry I keep pushing you. I just, Amy look at me," She slowly looked up at him. "Amy I love you, and it hurts me that you don't feel you can trust me. You keep pushing me away whenever we get close, ever since that night that we.... Amy the nightmare you had the next day, what you were screaming and again earlier. It's, it's like you're scared of me." He breathed out, he had finally said it.

"I am scared of you David. You scare me because you never want to talk about what happened to Kelly, you scare me because there's something about you that seems a little off. You scare me because you promise me that you will be there, but when something bad happens you disappear. Then that night, that night Stu came for me, you were there, you scared me. I was scared you were going to hurt me. I hate it but it's true. And now I am hurt, I am bruised, and I just don't feel comfortable. I'm scared you are going to hurt me, maybe not on purpose, but i'm so scared that you will. I want to trust you, but I can't, you were there. You were there!"

"I was where Amy?" David tried hard to keep his voice from wavering but it did. "Where was I Amy?"

"I don't know. In my dream, it confused me, because you saved me from him, but in my dream you were there and.... I don't know."

"Amy, I would never hurt you."

"You say that, but then so many before you have also said that. They hurt me David, and then so did you. You left and didn't come see me. I only knew you were back when I went to your office." David embraced Amy tightly.

"Amy I am so sorry. I am so sorry." He stroked her hair as he spoke. "I am so sorry. I want you to trust me and if that takes time, than I will wait. I promise you, and this one is easy to keep, I will always love you and will always be there for you, all you have to do is ask!"

_"But, but Stu said that too!"_ Amy cried out, _"he made that same promise!"_

"Don't," David pushed her away. Anger was overrunning his emotions. "Don't put me in the same category as him. Look what he did to you. Look at what he did. I would never," David sat on the bed. He looked back up at Amy and she felt great pain at what she saw. David was obviously struggling with something. "Don't act like, I would never hurt you like that. Ever, I would never, Amy please tell me you don't think I could do that. I didn't kill my wife and I wouldn't hurt you. Amy please tell me, please!"

"David, I'm sorry, but you do scare me. The way you evade discussions on Kelly's murder and...."

"You want me to tell you? You want me to tell you? Fine I will tell you." David paused, he looked away from Amy. "I, I walked into the bedroom. I had called for her and she, and she hadn't replied. I thought that maybe she was sleeping. I had been, " he cleared his throat, "I had been working late. I walked into the bedroom, and there was a lamp." He stopped again. His hands were clenched together, the knuckles white from the tension. "It was on the floor, and I walked to the bathroom, and I saw her legs. I looked up and I saw...." David looked down and tears ran down his cheeks,

"The intruder? What? David, what did you see? Victor told Lauren there was alot of blood."

"I don't know what Victor saw, he won't talk to me about it." He covered his face with his hands. _"I saw her head...." _

"What do you mean you saw her head?"

_"On the shelf," _Amy sank to the floor. She was stunned, she knew it must have been bad, from the way he reacted. But she had never expected this, it was so much. She looked up at David, he was rocking back and forth on the bed. She crawled over to him and laid a hand on his knee. _"I should have been there for her, I should have been there. I wasn't, she asked me to come home. She asked me to come home and I didn't." _David looked up at Amy, "I don't want you to get hurt, but you did Amy. He got you and you got hurt."

"David that wasn't your fault."

"It was Amy, I chased you right into his arms. It was my fault he got you. It was all my fault." Amy sat on the bed next to him and embraced him.

"David it was not your fault. There is something wrong with Stu, it is him that caused all this. Not you. Not you!" She stroked his cheek. Wiping away the tears as they fell. He turned and looked at her. "Baby it wasn't your fault, and your wife, she wouldn't blame you either. It was the person who murdered her fault. Not you, and in my case it was Stu. Don't blame yourself baby."

"But it was," Amy placed a finger on his lips.

"Baby it wasn't. I don't blame you for anything. You saved me baby. You saved me." David threw his arms around her at these words. "David, I love you. Please don't blame yourself. Blame me for being scared of you." He gripped her tighter, so tight she could hardly breathe.

"No, no I will not blame you! I will not blame you!"

"David I kinda need to breathe," he loosened his grip. "I don't blame you, so you shouldn't blame yourself." She got up and took his hand. "Come on we should get back to the kids." He pulled her onto his lap. He buried his head into her chest. "David come on we should get back, we are both drained and we need our rest."

"We could rest here," David looked up at Amy.

"David, come on."

"I promise I will be the perfect gentleman. All we will do is sleep." Amy looked thoughful before answering.

"Alright," they snuggled into each other as they fell asleep. Their bodies spooned together, a blanket loosely draped over them. David's arms were wrapped protectively around her.

They slept soundly unaware that they were being watched.


	30. Dodging Danger

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

_Summary: It was getting dark, Amy and David had slept most of the day. The man who Dominic Hill had asked to follow Amy was getting ready to strike. He stood outside the window, when he stepped back and accidently knocked some pots, which smashed on the floor._

**Chapter 30: Dodging Danger**

_"What was that?" _Amy woke from the noise. David who had been sleeping deeper, moaned.

"What was what?"

"That noise, I heard a noise. Outside, there was somebody there."

"No there wasn't, you imagined it. Go back to sleep."

"David, I'm scared." He sat up and wrapped his arms around her.

"You have no reason to be scared Amy. I am here." Amy turned around and looked into his eyes.

"Could you just go check. Besides, we kinda need to get up anyway. We went out for grocery shopping 10 hours ago, I am sure they are getting worried about us."

"If they were worried they would have called us." Amy looked away, before getting up. "Amy, come on, they have your mother with them. They will be fine."

"Yeah, I know they will be. But I am, I am...." She looked back at him. "I'm scared David, and you aren't helping."

"Amy, the alarms on. If anybody was trying to get in it would go off."

"Really? When did you set it? Was that before or after we fell asleep?" David suddenly looked worried.

"I'll go check." He walked past her and kissed her softly on the lips. Amy followed him on tip-toes.

"Is anybody there?"

"I don't know I haven't had a chance to check yet. Lock the door behind me."

"Why? You won't be able to get back in."

"If there is somebody out there, they won't be able to get in if it's locked."

"Way to make me feel safe!"

"I'm sorry sweetie, but you are the one that wants me to go check, and I am the one that wants you to be safe." David unlocked the back door and went outside. Amy stood close to the door after locking it. He seemed to take forever before he finally came back. "Just some broken pots. The wind could have knocked them over." He slipped his arms around Amy, who was breathing quite heavily again. "Sweetie, I think we need to take you to hospital."

"Why?"

"Because this time you were inside with the door locked, and you almost had another attack!"

"I'm fine, I just. We need to get home." She pushed David away and walked through the house to fetch her coat. "Come on." David grabbed his stuff and followed Amy to his car, locking the door and setting the alarm as he went. He threw his bags in with the groceries and climbed in the car.

* * *

The Gray house was dark. None of the lights were on, and all seemed quiet. Amy took Davids hand as they crept into the house. 

_"They must have all gone to bed."_ Amy quickly set the alarm, before slowly going up the stairs. She looked into Laurens room and saw Lauren and Victor asleep on the bed. With Maxine inbetween them.

_"Awww, they look so cute together." _David slipped his arms around Amy and led her to her room. _"Come on time for bed." _As they reached the bed, Amy turned and kissed David.

_"Thank you."_

_"For what?"_

_"For being there for me, and for respecting me."_

_"Your welcome."_ He kissed her gently on the lips, brushing her hair away from her face. _"I love you."_ He kissed her neck, then her shoulder.

_"I love you too."_ Soft moans escaped her, as he pulled her top over her head. She threw her head back as he kissed down inbetween her breasts. He pulled her closer, but as she winced in pain and tears rushed to her eyes she pushed him back. _"I....it hurts."_

_"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." _He gently brushed away her tears. _"You want to go slow and I keep pushing you." _

_"No really it hurts. It's not that....ow."_ She clutched her stomach and sat back on the bed.

_"Are you ok?"_

_"I'm, ow, fine. It just.... you know....ow....it will go away in a minute....ow ow ow."_ David sat next to her, putting his arm around her, _"bruises hurt!"_ She choked back a laugh.

_"Come on, lets go to sleep. You need it. The more you sleep the faster those bruises will go away!" _

_"Then I guess we should get ready for bed."_ Amy slowly stood up and went to get changed in the bathroom. While David quickly changed into some dorm pants. He got under the covers waiting for Amy, but fell asleep before she returned.

Amy stood looking at herself in the mirror, she heard something outside and she slowly walked to the window. She opened it and looked out. The next thing she knew, the glass was shattering and she was on the floor.

* * *

A car screeched away from the curb. His plan had worked.

* * *

David sat up, _"What the....Amy?"_ He ran to the bathroom, _"Amy?"_

"David, help me." David opened the door and found her on the floor with a shattered window and blood covering her hands and face.

"What happened?" He knelt beside her, trying to control the urge to run because of the blood.

"I don't know I just opened the window. And the, ow, now I have more cuts, which have to heal!"

"Come on lets get you cleaned up." He ran a tap and put her hands under it. She gritted her teeth, but didn't move, "they don't look that deep, they just look like scratches, which is good."

"Yeah," Amy smiled as David carefully dried and bandaged her hands. He looked up at her and slowly cleaned up her face. When he was done she walked back into the bedroom, but David didn't come straight away. When he finally did come out he looked extremely serious. "What's wrong?"

"We should call the police."

"Why?"

"The window shattered because you were shot at. Do you know anybody who would want to shoot you?"

"I don't want to talk about it, I want to sleep right now. We can call the police in the morning. Besides, by calling the police, we would wake mom and the kids, and that can wait!"

"Promise we will call in the morning?"

_"Yes. Now be quiet, we don't want to wake them." _She beckoned him to the bed and he joined her under the covers. For the second time that day, they slept with his arms wrapped protectively around her.

* * *

"Mom, you're ok. Victor, your dad's ok." Lauren jumped onto Amy's bed. "Victor come on, your dad's here." 

"Dad?" Victor climbed onto the bed.

Amy slowly opened her eyes, but quickly closed them when she saw Lauren and Victors face close to hers. She elbowed David who moaned a complaint, but was quiet when he opened his eyes.

"Dad"

"Mom"

"Hi kids," David blinked and rubbed his eyes.

"Where were you yesterday?"

"Yeah you like totally disappeared dad."

"Look, I've just woken up. How about you two get off the bed and give us a chance to wake up properly."

"But I want to see if moms ok. She has cuts on her face, and her hands are bandaged. What happened?"

"Dad what happened? Are you ok?" A look of fear crossed Victor's face.

"Look we will explain it after we get up. Now go downstairs, both of you. Now, move it."

"But...."

"Lauren, your mom is fine. Trust me. She just needs her sleep." They reluctantly left and David let out a sigh of relief. "Well it looks like Lauren is ok with us now."

"Hmmm,"

"Amy, come on wake up. What was up with you pretending to be asleep and leaving me to talk to them."

"I'm tired." Amy snuggled back into David.

"You realise we slept almost all day yesterday, and then last night."

"I'm still tired. We really shouldn't go skiing so often."

"What?"

"Huh? I should get up, I'll be late for work." Amy went to get up. "Whoa, have my chambers always spun round like this?"

"Amy, are you alright?"

"David, what are you doing here?" Amy backed away as David place a hand on her forehead. "What are you doing?"

"Checking your temperature."

"Why?"

"Because as I suspect you have a fever. You must have an infection from those cuts."

"What cuts?"

"Lay back down honey. I will be right back." David eased out of the bed and laid Amy's head on the pillow, and he smiled as she fell asleep.

* * *

"Dad," Victor spoke up as soon as he entered the kitchen, "Where were you? What happened to Mrs Gray? How come you came in so late." 

"I see Amy left you to answer the questions." Maxine smiled at David over the top of a newspaper.

"Um, no. She has a fever, at least I think she does. Her temperature seems high and she was saying some stupid stuff, like we shouldn't go skiing so often."

"Yep, she has a fever. You should be careful, she might have a cold and you might catch it."

"Kids would you mind going in the other room?"

"Why?" Both Victor and Lauren asked in unision.

"Because I want to speak grown-up talk, and you two aren't grown-ups."

"Fine," Lauren nudged Victor and they ran out of the room, but stayed near the door so they could listen.

"Last night when we got back, Amy was in the bathroom, she got shot at." There was a look of horror on Maxine's face. "She's fine apart from a few cuts on her face and hands from the glass from the window. I think the cuts have got a little infected and thats why she has a fever."

Lauren came back into the kitchen with tears forming in her eyes. "Is mom ok? Is she ok? Who shot her?"

"Lauren you should know not to listen at doors." Maxine scolded but held her arms open.

"Lauren your mom is fine, she just has a bit of a fever that is all." David reassured her. "Victor we know you are listening too, you might as well come in here." Victor came round the door and sat back at the table.

* * *

"I don't want any tablets." Amy moaned as David handed her a glass of water and a couple of antibiotics. 

"The doctor said you need to take them. You need to get better."

"Better for what?" Amy had a sly smile pasted on her face.

"Just better. Now come on, you are acting like a child."

"I am a child." Amy folded her arms indignantly. David placed the tablets and water on the side.

"Well if you're a child, then we can't be together." David had a mean grin on his face.

"What?"

"Well that would be breaking the law, I can't be with a child."

"Fine, I'll take them." She threw the tablets in her mouth and pulled a funny face, as she swallowed them.

"There that wasn't so hard now was it?" He kissed her on the lips.

"No." She kissed back. "Stay with me, I don't want to be on my own."

"Mom, do you want to play cards. We can play whatever you want to play." Lauren bounced onto the bed. Victor slowly edged into the room, looking very nervous. "Come on Victor, you'll be playing too."

"Lauren I just want to sleep."

"But you just said you were lonely."

"I did not."

"Yeah you did. Anyway, we are here now." Victor stood looking awkward at the end of the bed.

"You can sit on the bed Victor, you might as well. It looks like we will be playing cards."

"I'll speak to you in a minute." David stood up and started towards the door.

"What? Where are you going?"

"I am going to phone the person you promised to call this morning but still haven't phoned!"

"I had a fever."

"Yeah well now it's gone down, and you have stopped talking rubbish, I am going to call them."

"Who are you calling?" Lauren looked up at David.

"You'll see."

"I hate it when adults say that." Lauren looked at Victor.

* * *

Three hours later, three police officers left with their notes and the messages that Amy had been sent by the gunman, aka one of Dominic Hill's gang. 

"I didn't want to believe that it was happening. After my last stalker."

"You had a stalker?"

"Yeah, but he's out of the picture now."

"Did they catch him?"

"No,"

"Then what happened?"

"He died."

"What?"

"He was stabbed by Eric, he was one of mom's cases and was staying here because nobody would have him. He used to babysit for me, he even saved Lauren from him as well when she was on a field trip."

"What?"

"Eric stabbed him when he tried to get in. And that is why he is out of the picture."

"What happened to Eric?"

"He got let off of, and then because mom never forgave him he ran away with his boyfriend." David nodded his head in understanding. "I don't want to talk about that." Amy sat up and moved towards David and caressed his cheek. She slowly leant towards him and kissed him. "I don't want to have to think about it." Kissing him again. "I just want to think about you." This time the kiss lasted longer and she lay back pulling him with her.

"Mom," David jumped back. "Mom, do we have to go to bed now?"

"It is a school night Lauren."

"I know but I'm not tired."

"Just try and think of something nice."

"Ok, I know just what to think of." She left the room with a stupid smile pasted on her face.

_"Now we can get back to where we left off."_ Amy pulled him back down and began kissing again.

There was alot of noise coming from Victors room and David jumped up and ran out. Amy slowly followed, still feeling woozy from her fever. She stood in the doorway and smiled, David was hugging Victor who had obviously had a nightmare.

_"You ok Victor?"_ Amy asked quietly. He looked up and he looked like a rabbit caught in headlights. Amy walked over to the bed and sat down. _"Had a nightmare honey?"_ Victor nodded, and Amy stroked his hair out of his face. _"Do you want some company?"_

_"Yes please."_

_"Come on, you can come sleep with us." _David watched them walk out of the room and smiled. He loved Amy when she was in parent mode. She looked cute. He quickly got up though. Knowing how Victor could hog the covers and the space, he didn't want to loose a spot next to Amy. He should have been quicker however as Lauren had also joined them and the only choice he had was next to Victor. Both of the kids had fallen asleep and Amy looked like she was about to join them.

_"What happened?"_

_"Lauren still couldn't sleep."_

_"I wanted to sleep holding you again."_ Amy held hands with David above Victors head.

_"At least we are together." _David smiled and eventually they were all fast asleep.


	31. Close Your Eyes

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. 

**Chapter 31: Close Your Eyes**

Maxine looked into both Victor and Lauren's rooms and couldn't see them anywhere, thinking they had gotten up early she went to check on Amy. She saw the four of them curled up together on the bed and smiled. She fetched her camera and quickly took some pictures before they could wake. Then she went to make breakfast. Soon she heard some movement upstairs and was not surprised that it was Victor and Lauren who came downstairs first. "Morning sleepy heads."

"Morning Mrs Gray."

"Ready for school?"

"Yeah, it sucks. I wish we could play hookey like mom and Mr McClaren."

"They are not playing hookey Lauren. Your mom went through a very bad experience and Da.... Mr McClaren is helping her get through it."

"Whatever Grandma."

* * *

"Finally they're gone." David moved over and pulled Amy round. 

"Yeah, I thought they were never going to leave." She kissed him softly.

"_Mmm_, so are we going to carry on where we left off last night?" He kissed her neck, lightly nipping her ear.

"Th....that would be nice....but.... but I think we should wait."

"Still?" David moved back looking disappointed. Amy caressed his chest,

"I want to, honestly baby." David grabbed her hand and kissed it.

"I understand honey." He pulled her into a hug and stroked her hair as he closed his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you too."

They drifted off to sleep again in each others arms.

* * *

Victor came down the stairs slowly. 

"Did you say goodbye to your dad?"

"No, he was sleeping."

"Was mom asleep too?"

"Yeah. They are sleeping alot."

"Well they did have alot of sleepless nights recently. What with what happened to your mother Lauren."

"What did happen to mom?"

"That you will have to wait till she wants to tell you!"

"So what you actually mean is that I'm not old enough to know?"

"Lauren, you have to go to school."

"So you will tell us in the car?"

Maxine closed her eyes, took a deep breath and then replied, "no Lauren. Now get to the car or you will be walking to school."

* * *

It was noon before David woke up. He got up out of the bed and got dressed. He sat on the bed and watched Amy sleep for a while. She was so cute, she had curled up into a tight ball and David just wanted to pick her up and never let her go. But his stomach grumbled, and not wanting to wake her he went down to the kitchen. 

A few minutes later Amy unrolled and stretched. She sat up and saw the emptiness of the bed. She scratched her hair back into a ponytail and made her way downstairs. All was quiet and she began to panic. "David?" She looked in the kitchen, the dining room and finally the family room. Still no David. "David, where are you?"

"Shhh, I'm here." David slipped his arms around her waist.

"I, I thought that...."

"Shhh, I know. You need to learn to calm yourself!" They stayed in the family room with Davids chin resting on the top of her head. "You hungry?"

"A little bit."

"Good, I'm gonna take us out for a meal. No where special just maybe for a pizza or something."

"Could we just.... never mind, I'll go get ready." David held her.

"What?"

"Could we just order in or something. I don't feel up to leaving the house."

"Amy...."

"Please, after what happened yesterday, I really just want to stay in here. I don't want to leave the house."

"Amy...."

"Please!" Amy looked into his eyes, he saw how scared she was.

"I'm sorry, sure we will go out another time."

* * *

There was a knock at the door and David went and answered it. 

"Bruce, nice to see you again."

"McClaren."

"David, please. Is there something that I can do for you?"

"I came to see Judge Gray, we were expecting her back to look at her files."

"Yeah well, we had some problems. What you might call set backs."

"I see. Can I speak to her please."

"She doesn't want to come near the door."

"Why's that?"

"None of your business."He looked at what Bruce was holding. "Are those the files? I'll take them for her."

"No, I will wait for Judge Gray."

"Well you will be waiting a long time."

"What do you mean?"

"She isn't coming to the door today."

"Why?"

"I've already said it was none of your business."

Bruce reluctantly handed him the files, and left. He made a mental note to come back later when he knew or rather he thought he knew David would have left to go home.

* * *

"Do you think that mom would be up for Bugsy's?" 

"I don't know Lauren, we will have to wait and see. Have you ever been to Bugsy's Victor?"

"Yeah my dad takes me sometimes. It's cool that all four of us like it there!"

Maxine nodded. She remembered the way Stu had stuck his nose up at the thought of going to Bugsy's. She smiled in the knowledge that David was almost perfect.

As they pulled up to the house, Lauren jumped out and ran into the family room closely followed by Victor where they found Amy and David curled up watching tv.

"Mom, can we go Bugsy's tonight? We haven't been in ages and that would be so much fun. Please?"

"Yeah dad, that would be cool. Can we?" David looked at Amy in concern. Waiting for her to answer.

"Lauren, I don't th...."

"Please mom! You will be the best mom, in like the entire world."

"Ok,"

David squeezed her hand in support. "Well then, we had better go and get ready then huh?"

"Yes!" Lauren and Victor high fived each other before racing to tell Maxine.

"Are you gonna be alright going?"

"I don't know, but Lauren knows how to get me to do something."

"I can see that! Now, I think that we should go and get ready."

They slowly made their way upstairs, but getting ready was put off for a while when they started kissing. The kisses were slow and deep, and Amy was weak at the knees from the intenseness. David lifted her in his arms, so that he was fully supporting her and Amy wrapped her arms around his neck.

There was a cough as somebody knocked on the door frame. "I hate to interrupt. But there are two kids downstairs who are hungry, and are wondering where you are." David gently lowered Amy to the ground and looked up at Maxine.

"Tell them we will be down in a minute." Maxine smiled and left.

Amy's eyes had a haze over them. They were full of lust and passion. Her voice was lustful as she spoke, "I wish we didn't have to go."

"Me too." He softly kissed her.

"I wish we could stay here." She reached up and kissed him.

"Me too." They started to kiss again, with even more intensity, and with more urgency.

"MOM, COME ON." Lauren shouted up the stairs.

They moved slowly apart, keeping eye contact. They quickly changed and walked down the stairs holding hands.

"Finally, even I can get changed quicker than that!"

_"Be quiet L, they can still say no." _

"Wise advice." David nodded at Lauren.

Amy gripped David's hand as they crossed through the front door. It tightened as they moved away from the house. When they got to David's car, he had to prise her hand away. The ride to bugsy's was as tough for David as it was for Amy; he could hear her breathing, the raspiness of each breath and he could see her gripping the seat tightly. The walk from the car to Bugsy's did seem to calm her slightly and the grip she had on his hand was looser, and didn't cut the circulation off.

They managed to get a booth at the back and settled down ready to order. Amy wasn't feeling very hungry and so only ordered a glass of water.

"Are you ok honey?"

"I'm fine, just not very hungry." David nodded but he still had a worried look on his face. "Honestly I am fine."

"Dad can I try your beer?"

"No."

"Why not? All my friends have tried beer."

"Never mind. Maybe you will outlive them and then who will be laughing?"

"But dad."

"No whining Victor, we can still leave and go home."

_"Yeah well we haven't been there in a while." _Victor muttered.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"What did you say Victor?"

"It's just we haven't been home in ages, and it's not that I don't like being at Mrs Gray's house, _it's not home_."

"Victor you know why we are there."

"No I don't, and neither does L. We want to know what happened. It's not fair that you don't tell us, because it affects us too."

"Victor." David spoke in a warning tone.

"David it's alright."She placed a hand on his knee. "I got attacked by a bad person and it is taking me a while to recover."

"Who was it?"

"You don't need to worry about that. He isn't going to be a problem, he's been taken away by the police."

"So you're ok now right Mrs Gray?"

"She's still nervous about leaving the house. So you should both be grateful that we came here. So no more whining!" David smiled at Amy.

"Are you gonna be ok now mom?"

"Yes noodle, I am going to be ok." Their food arrived and Amy quietly sipped her water as they ate.

"Do you want some of my fries?"David asked, still worried that Amy hadn't eaten anything.

"No I am fine thanks."

"Come on you have to eat something." He pushed his plate towards Amy and she reluctantly picked up a few fries and ate them.

"Now I do kinda feel hungry."

"I thought you would once you started eating. You can finish my fries, I will eat the rest."

"But it's your food. I don't want to leave you feeling hungry."

"I'll just have a bigger desert. Now eat up."

Lauren stopped eating and looked at Amy with a thoughtful look on her face.

"What are you thinking about noodle?"

"Mom I don't want to grow up."

"And why's that?"

"Cause you stop liking fries, and have to be forced to eat them." Amy smiled at her daughter.

"I just wasn't hungry and I didn't want to rob David of his meal. I still like fries!" David slipped an arm around Amy and she lay her head on his shoulder as she continued to eat the fries. Lauren pulled a face.

* * *

"Ahh, I feel sick." David moaned as they walked back to the car. 

"Well you shouldn't have had that much ice-cream." Amy said as she supported David.

"But it was so nice."

"Well stop moaning. Even the kids aren't moaning, they were sensible and stopped eating before they felt ill." David walked to the drivers door, but Amy stopped him. "I think I should drive."

"No, no I can drive."

"David, I am driving get in the car now!" David smiled as he walked round to the other side of the car.

"Dad you are such a durge."

"Hey, you have an allowance that can disappear with the click of my fingers." Amy smiled at David, and looked at Lauren as she hit Victor to get him to shut up.

"David don't be too harsh on him."

"What we playing good cop bad cop now?"

_"I was thinking more doctors and nurses."_ Amy grinned at the look that appeared on David's face.

"Mom!"

"You have an allowance too Lauren." It was Victor's turn to hit Lauren now.

* * *

"Well what happened to you David?" Maxine asked full of concern. 

"Dad ate too much ice-cream and now he feels ill."

"Well you just lost all the sympathy that I had for you." Maxine walked away from the door chuckling.

"Maxine, can you get the kids to bed please."

"Dad, do we have to go now?"

"Come on you two, leave him to be ill in peace and get to bed." The two followed Maxine into the kitchen and left David sitting on the bottom step waiting for Amy to come in.

"Well now, what are we going to do with you?" Amy helped David up the stairs.

"I don't know but...." David suddenly broke into a run, bursting into the bathroom to throw up. Amy followed and rubbed his back as he retched.

"There, are you feeling better?"

"Just a little bit."

"I'll leave you to get cleaned up, I'm gonna go check on the kids." Amy went into Laurens room. "Hiya noodle. Time to turn your light off."

"But I'm not tired!"

"You will be, now close your eyes."

"Night mom."

"Night noodle." Amy tucked Lauren in and then went to Victors room, and knocked on the door. "Hey Victor are you all ready for bed?"

"Yes Mrs Gray." Victor came to the door.

"Do you want me to tuck you in?" Victor looked away. "I won't tell Lauren."

"Yes please." Amy walked with him to the bed and tucked him in. "Night."

"Night." She kissed him on his forehead.

"Night Mrs Gray.... Mrs Gray?"

"Yes Victor."

"Do I have to call you Mrs Gray, I feel stupid having to keep calling you that."

"Why don't you think of a nickname for me. Would that work?"

"Couldn't I just call you Amy?"

"I don't think your dad would like that."

"Ok, I will try and think of something. Night."

"Night Victor." Amy smiled, turned off the light and then walked back to the bathroom.

"You feeling better?"

"Yes." David had showered and changed, he leaned forward and went to kiss her.

"I don't think so. Not when you have been throwing up."

"I cleaned my teeth. Besides what about the whole doctors and nurses thing." He went to grab her but she twisted out of his way and ran to her room.

"I will nurse you back to health but the doctor is absent." Amy laughed as he caught her. "And I am not kissing you till you are better." She pulled him towards the bed, "now lay down."

"Yes mam." He lay on the bed and Amy pulled the blanket over him. "Now I am going to have a shower, and you are going to stay here and sleep." He caught her wrist before she could move away.

"Hey, how come I get to be left alone?" She kissed him on the forehead.

"Because you are a big boy and aren't scared of the boogey monster."

"Yes I am. I want you to stay here till I go to sleep."

"If I do that then maybe I won't come back and sleep here. Maybe I will go make sure Lauren isn't scared of the boogey man."

David released his hold on her, "hurry back honey."

* * *

Amy had finished her shower and had dressed ready for bed when there was a knock on the door. "Who on earth can that be?" She slowly made her way down the stairs and looked through the peep hole. 

"Bruce what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to make sure you were ok."

"What do you mean? David told you I was ok."

"He also told me you weren't coming to the door today, yet here you are!"

"I conquered some fears of mine. But what's your point?"

"How did you get these scratches?" Bruce changed the subject quickly.

"Glass, it's quite sharp you know. It cut my hands as well. It was kinda funny really. I got a fever from an infection through the cuts. And you know I kinda babble when I have a fever? Well apparently I scared David with some of the things I was saying. He wasn't expecting it."

There was some muffled moans upstairs, and Amy started towards the stairs. "Hang on a minute, I think Victor is having another nightmare."

"Victor?"

"David's son."

Bruce was completely confused. Why was David's son here? Why wasn't he at home with David.

* * *

_"Victor, are you ok?" _Amy opened his door but Victor was sound asleep, only stirring from the light which fell on him from the hall. Amy closed the door quietly and tried to figure out where the sound was coming from. It wasn't coming from Lauren's room, so it must be.... "David." She ran to her room, remembering that David had told her that he had been lucky recently and hadn't had any nightmares. 

David was tossing and turning. Completely entangled in the bed sheets. He was mumbling, and it was only when she stepped closer that she could hear him calling her name. "David wake up, I'm here." She sat on the edge of the bed and shook him. "David, come on." David swung round and caught her on the cheek. She called out in pain as she fell back against the bed. She scrambled back and sat on top of him, she tried hard to restrain his arms as he continued to throw himself about. "David, come on wake up."

* * *

Bruce was confused as he looked up the stairs. He saw her exit one room, which he assumed that Victor was occupying, and then she entered her room. He heard a muffled cry and he launched himself up the stairs. "Amy are you ok." He ran into Amy's room, and had to hold back what he was desperate to say. The sight made him feel betrayed. Amy was astride David, on her bed, but then he realised that he wasn't awake. "Amy, I can help you." 

"Bruce, I don't think that it is a good idea you being up here."

He stepped towards the bed, ignoring her subtle request for him to leave, he turned on the light. "Amy, you aren't strong enough to hold him."

"Bruce please don't, you won't help. Trust me, just leave. You can show yourself out can't you?"

"Amy...."

"Just go!" Bruce noticed Davids movements starting to slow and he quickly exited.

"David come on." His arms fell limp in her hands. His mumbling stopped and she leant closer to his face. "David." She gently kissed him on the lips and he opened his eyes.

_"Amy?" _He tried to sit up but Amy pushed him back down.

"No, you stay there." She watched as he looked around him, it was only then that she realised that she was still sitting astride him. She went to get off him, but his hands reached out to her hips and held her there. "David...."

"What I just want to play doctors and nurses."

"David, I'll be back in a minute ok?" He moved his hands up her back and pulled her down so her face was next to his.

"But I want you to stay." He kissed her, but she pulled away.

"Give me a second.... please." David let go of her,

"Thanks." She jumped off the bed and ran down the stairs looking for Bruce but he had left. She locked the front door and turned the alarm back on. She then made her way back upstairs. "Well I think it is time for you to get some more rest." She sat on the edge of the bed again.

"I don't want to rest."

"You obviously need it. Cause as you told me, you haven't had any nightmares for a while and now, tonight you have."

"I think that the reason for that could be the fact that I was sleeping alone tonight! You took so long having your shower that I fell asleep."

"I didn't take that long, it's just that Bruce came over and...."

"Bruce was here?"

"Yeah, he was here and then I thought it was Victor having a nightmare, so I ran up here, but then I figured out it was you. And when I yelled, he came running...."

"Why did you yell?"

"You.... hit me."

"I did?" He reached over and brushed her hair out of her face, and saw the large bruise appearing on her cheek. He reached up and gently touched her face. "I am so sorry honey.... I really didn't mean to.... I didn't know...."

"I know, now go to sleep."

"Aren't you sleeping?"

"I'm not tired."

"You should try anyway, that's what we always tell the kids to do." Amy stood up.

"I'm really not tired." David grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the bed. She didn't struggle, and she snuggled into David as he brought the blanket up around her.

"Now close your eyes, and think of something nice." Amy smiled as she closed her eyes.


	32. Mom?

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 32: Mom?**

There had been many questions about the bruise on her face and she was thankful that everybody at least seemed to believe their story. She was glad that Bruce had been there that night, that he had seen that David was asleep, so she had somebody to back up her story.

Lauren was the hardest to convince. She had gotten it into her mind that David was dangerous and nothing at first seemed to be able convince her other wise. Victor had been the most help and he finally got her to realise that it was stupid to think that his dad had been beating her mom up. That if that was the way he was, then he too would have bruises. Even so, Lauren was still very suspicious of David and was still very cautious of him.

* * *

Amy had managed to control her panic attacks and was now spending several hours alone in her chambers. Which meant David was able to go back to court, and in doing so cleared his back log, but he asked Abner to transfer all other complicated cases that required going to court for long periods of time.

"Hiya honey. Are you done for the day?" David entered Amy's chambers and walked up to her desk.

"Just about. How was court?"

"It was ok. I spoke to Abner today. I asked him to transfer all complicated cases."

"Why'd you do that?" She smiled as he pulled her to her feet.

"So that I can have more time doing this." He brushed her lips with his, before slipping his tongue in her mouth.

"David,"

"What?"

"We...."

"What?"

"Shouldn't...."

"What?"

"Be...."

Amy gave in and wrapped her arms around his head holding him closer to her. Suddenly he pulled away. "Let's go."

"Hey.... I don't mind working a little late tonight." Amy looked into his eyes.

"That would all be well but we have to pick up the kids from school. It's our turn."

"They won't mind us being late."

"Come on. We have to be the boring respectible, responsible adults."

"I don't like being the responsible one." David smiled as he put an arm around her and led her out. "Life sucks."

"No it doesn't. You're just saying that cuz you didn't get your way." They started to go down the stairs, but were stopped by somebody calling out for Amy.

Amy turned and saw Judge Faraday standing at the top of the stairs.

"Judge Faraday. Nice to see you."

"Nice to see you here. So when do you think you will be able to return to the bench. It's not fair on the other judges for me to keep piling your cases onto their docket. They have cases too you know."

"I realise that, and I would like to return to work. It's just I'm not ready yet."

"You have had plenty of time to...."

"One of the last cases I had, it ended badly in the fact that the child involved has connexions, with people that like to hurt other people. If you get my drift."

"I see, but...."

"I will be back on the bench by next week."

"Ok, thank you Judge Gray." He walked away slightly baffled. He didn't know how to handle Amy, she was too.... was there really a single word to describe her?

* * *

Lauren was babbling away, but Victor wasn't listening. He was sat with his back against the tree trying to think through the decision he had made. Ever since his conversation with Amy, he had been trying desperately to think of something to call her, and he had come to a decision. But he still wasn't sure whether it was the right one. Finally Lauren realised that Victor wasn't paying attention. 

"Victor, are you listening?"

"Yes," he lied.

"What was I saying then?"

"Um, shopping, how you want that new top but your mom won't let you." He guessed.

"Yeah, ok, sorry. Anyway it is pink with this fur edge, and...."

"They're here." Victor jumped up and ran down to the car, thankful that they had finally arrived.

* * *

They drove in a comfortable silence all the way to Lauren and Victors school. They both ran to the car and jumped in. When they got home the kids went to watch tv and Amy and David stayed in the kitchen. 

"Now we are home, are you gonna let me kiss you without trying to speak?"

"Speaking just makes it all the more exciting." Victor walked in and stood staring at them waiting for them to notice he was there.

Amy noticed him first. "Hiya Victor. What's up?"

"Can I speak to you?"

"Sure champ." David replied.

"Not you dad. Mrs uh Gray."

David looked at Amy, "Sure Victor, is it ok for your dad to hear or do you want to speak in private."

"Um." He looked from Amy to David and back again.

"We'll be back in a minute." Amy released herself from Davids grip and placed her hands on Victors shoulders and led him outside. They sat on the swing and it was several minutes before Victor spoke.

"Are you and dad like gonna stay together? Like for a long while? Maybe like, um forever?"

"I don't know, maybe. I would like to. Why?"

"Well I couldn't think of a nickname for you."

"Ok, what's that got to do with me and your dad being together?"

"Well if you were gonna get married, well then you would kinda be my step mom. Right?"

"Yeah I suppose I would be. But I don't know if...."

"Well, I was wondering,"

"Yes Victor?"

"I was wondering would it be too weird if I called you...." Amy sat patiently waiting for him to carry on. "Called you mom?" Amy was shocked, she looked away and than stood up. It was a while before she spoke.

"Um, I don't know sweetie. It might upset your dad."

"But if he loves you, then he won't mind, would he? Cause like if you did get married then I would have to start calling you mom anyway."

Amy sat on the wall and put her head in her hands. "You wouldn't have to Victor." Amy wasn't sure what to feel, she was confused and she didn't know what to say. David who had been watching out of the window, ran to the door and out to Amy.

"Are you ok Amy? Honey are you ok? You look a little pale." He put his arm around her. "We should get you inside." Amy looked at David's face and couldn't help but laugh.

"I'm fine David. Just in a little shock that is all."

"Why would you be in shock?" He turned to Victor, "what did you say to her?"

Victor had jumped up when David came running out of the house. And was now rocking from foot to foot. "Um, I um...."

"Victor go in the house now."

"But, but I...."

"Now! I will deal with you in a minute." Victor ran in the house leaving David who was still really concerned about Amy. "Amy what did he say to you?"

Amy looked down into her lap, not sure how to tell him. "He just wanted to know some things."

"Like what?" David lifted her chin with his finger.

"Like whether we were gonna last." Amy stood up and walked away.

"Whether we were gonna what?" He stood up and followed her.

"Whether we were gonna last." She looked back at him. "Whether we were gonna get married. And about me becoming...."

"Becoming?"

"Becoming his step mom."

"Victor was speaking to** you** about **us**?" David took her hand and played with her fingers. Encouraging her to carry on.

"Yes and whether, and whether he could call me mom.... now."

"He asked if he could call you mom?" Amy nodded her head and fell into his arms. He squeezed her tightly. "You know I wouldn't mind if he did."

"It's just I don't know whether I'm ready for that."

"Just out of curiosity.... how did it come up?"

"The other night he said it was weird calling me Mrs Gray and I didn't think you would like it if he called me Amy so I said if he could think of a nickname he could use that instead."

"Hmmm, I think it's cool that he wants to call you mom." They stood in silence for a while before Amy spoke again.

"I don't know how Lauren will take it though." Amy looked up into his eyes. "She might feel under pressure to call you dad, and even with Stu when we were about to get married she still called him Stu."

"Honey don't worry about that. We'll worry about one kid at a time. Ok?"

"I spose that would be the sensible thing to do." She reached up and kissed him gently. "I'll go tell him." David released his hold and she took his hand. "We can tell him together."

"I think that maybe he might just want to talk to you about it."

"Well he knows you know, so you might as well be there." They closed the back door before Amy called Victor, he came running in and looked worried when he saw David there as well. "Don't look so worried, you can call me mom if you want to."

"Really?"

"You sound so much like your dad."

"Thanks." Victor rolled his eyes.

"Hey, don't gang up on me." David folded his arms.

"Well that's something to look forward to."

"What's going on in here?" Lauren walked into the kitchen with a sulky look on their face. "Hey Victor you left me all on my own. Come on, are we gonna watch the film or not?"

Victor smiled at Amy before speaking. "I'm coming L."

"Well that is one awkward thing out of the way." Amy sighed. 

"What's the next?"

"My mother."

"Why will that be awkward?"

"I don't know. Just expect it to be. Then you will be prepared for every eventuality."

"I see." Amy laid her head on his shoulder as they embraced each other.

* * *

Amy was alone in the kitchen cooking the evening meal, when Maxine finally arrived home. 

"Evening, sorry I'm late. By the way Amy, Kyle is coming over, and so are Peter and Gillian."

"Are they bringing the kids?"

"No, they got a babysitter. They needed a break."

"They're coming here.... for a dinner.... for a break?"

"Is that so hard to believe?"

"Well yes, something always happens that either makes everyone feel awkward or everyone upset or somebody has an argument."

"Amy, how about trying to be a little less pesimistic! It's not good for your complexion." Amy pulled a face as Maxine walked out of the kitchen.

* * *

They were all sitting around the family table. Kyle had just finished telling them that he had quit medicine. He was refusing to give a reason and they were all sitting in an awkward silence. Which was about to get worse. 

"Mom could you pass the bread please." Amy looked up, and it seemed like everybody was in slow motion as they turned their heads to look at her. "Mom?"

"Yeah," she cleared her throat, "sorry Victor." She passed the bread, and looked back down at her food. She felt David's hand on her knee, and looked up at him. He squeezed it just as the questions started to fly.

"Mom, why is Victor calling you that?"

"Amy, is there something you need to tell me?"

"David care to elaborate?"

Amy looked up at her family, "he just is ok?" The awkward silence continued till Lauren got up and stormed out. "I'm gonna go check on her." Amy ran out of the room, feeling sorry for David being left in there on his own. Well apart from Victor.... who wasn't going to be that much help.

She got up to Laurens room and knocked on the door. "Lauren can I come in." When she got not reply she opened the door, expecting to see her crying face down on the bed. But she was perched on the end and she looked up at her with a worried expression on her face. "What's up honey?"

"Why is Victor calling you mom? Cause you and Mr McClaren aren't married, and you aren't going to be anytime soon."

"He felt weird calling me Mrs Gray."

"So why couldn't he just call you Amy?"

"I gave him the choice of making a nickname for me, but he asked tonight if he could call me mom, and me and David decided he could."

"Why?"

"Because Lauren, if David and I ever do decide to get married, then I will be his step mom. He wanted to start calling me mom now rather than later."

"But that means we're like step brother and sister."

"Not until we're married."

"It's still gross for us to be going out."

"If that is what you decide than it is your decision. But you should talk to Victor about that not me."

"Does this mean I have to start calling Mr McClaren dad?"

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"So I don't have to call him dad?"

"It is completely up to you. Now do you want to come down and finish your meal?"

"Yeah, I'm starving." Lauren ran ahead of Amy and she sighed;

_"Disaster two and three out of the way." _She entered the dining room and everybody looked up at her with expectant faces. "What?"

"Well?"

"Well what? Just eat your food and than we can all get on with our lives."

"Amy...."

"Ma, I just want to eat the meal I prepared and than go to bed. Ok with everyone?"

They all finished the meal in silence, "Lauren it's your turn to do the dishes."

"No it's not."

"It is if I say it is."

"That's not fair."

"I'll do it mom."

"Thank you Victor but I asked Lauren to do it."

"They can do it together." David cut in. He nodded at Victor and looked at Lauren who glared before getting up and slowly walking to the kitchen with some dishes.

"Thanks. I couldn't deal with her mood swings right now."

"So Amy, are you going to tell us anything, about Victor calling you mom?"

"No, I told you he just is."

"So is Lauren calling you dad David?"

"No, she isn't." Amy jumped in before David replyed. "Now if you have finished butting into my business...."

"So you can butt into our lives but we can't into yours?"

"I just...." Amy got up and ran out.

"I'm gonna check if she's ok." David got up amist the awkward stares of her family. He found her sitting outside on the swing crying. "Honey are you ok?" She nodded but didn't reply. He sat next to her and wrapped his arms around her as she fell into him. "What's wrong? I mean I know your family was asking alot of questions, but what was upsetting you?"

"You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"David, please. I don't want to go into this with you. Not right now."

"Amy, I don't see what could possibly be that bad. I mean, after what just happened.... I don't understand. I said I will always be there for you, and I will, but you have to speak to me, you have to trust me in order for me to be able to help you, to be there for you."

"I know, I know but...."

"What Amy, tell me."

"Fine," she wiped her eyes and looked David in the eye. "If you really want to know. The reason I am upset is the inclination behind all those questions. They automatically jumped to the conclusion that things had changed dramatically between us."

"Ok, but still not getting your meaning."

"They thought that we had gotten.... engaged. That we were getting married. They expect...." She buried her face in David's chest trying to forget everything that had happened that evening.

"Oh honey, why is that so bad? What is wrong with them jumping to the conclusion that we are engaged?" Amy looked up at him, searching his eyes in confusion. "We love each other and I don't think that you should care what anybody else thinks, even what your family thinks. You shouldn't even care what I think. But you do, you care what everybody thinks, you care what everybody feels. That's what makes you, you. I love that about you, you always have to be involved. Your family may think that you are butting in, but in my eyes your not. You are just trying to help because you can't bear to see anybody hurting, and for some reason you have decided that this process requires you to shut others away so they can't help you, because they might get hurt in the process."

"But they do get hurt David. They do."

"Amy, you shouldn't blame yourself for that. Us being together is a wonderful thing. Some things have hurt, you getting me to tell you about Kelly.... but better things came out of that. I feel free, I feel free to live again. You helped me with that Amy. Now let me help you, I am here for you, always." He caressed her cheek and leant in to kiss her. "I love you."

"Mmmm, we should go back inside."

"I like it here, I don't want to go inside."

"I'm kinda cold." David pulled her round so her back was against his chest and he surrounded her with his arms.

"Better?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

"I love this swing."

"You do huh?"

"Yeah, I do."

* * *

"Maybe we shouldn't have said anything." Kyle was still eating, not stopping for anything. 

"Kyle what would you know. You only ever come here for food."

"That was out of order ma." Peter jumped in.

_"Peter stay out of it."_ Gillian hissed.

"Gillian why should we stay out of it? We were here, and we were asking questions too. We are all involved, so why should we stay out of it?"

"I was just saying.... no need to bite my head off."

"Gillian, I am sick of you biting my head off." Maxine was standing with her mouth open.

"Maybe we should discuss this else where."

"Maybe we should."

"Peter, Gillian. Chill."

"Kyle stay out of it." Both Peter and Gillian yelled.

"Sorry. Just this started wth us upsetting Amy, and now you two are arguing."

* * *

"Do you want to go back inside?" 

"No, I can't bear to face them yet."

"You have to go back inside sometime."

"I just want to sneak in like when I was...." David started to tickle her.

"Like when you were what?"

"Like when I was...." They fell off the swing and David landed on top of her. "Ahh, uncle already!" She struggled to get away, and he stopped tickling her, grabbing both wrists with one hand, and leaned in to kiss her. She got a flash back of when she was tied to the bed in Stu's apartment. "No David stop. Please." David released her and sat back.

"What, what, what's wrong? Did I hurt you?" Amy pulled herself away from him. "Amy?"

"I um nothing."

"Amy what were we discussing before?" He touched her arm.

"I.... it was just," Amy stood up closely followed by David. _"I got a flashback."_

"What?"

"Of when Stu had me.... in his...."

"Oh sweetie I'm sorry." David pulled her to him and hugged her. "I'm sorry."

_"It's not your fault." _Tears began falling down her cheeks again. _"It's Stu's."_ He squeezed her tighter. _"I don't want flashbacks." _She whined.

"Baby, they will soon go away. Then we will be ok, and we can carry on as if it never happened. You can forget all about Stu and any other mistake that you have made."

"But...."

"No buts. Come on, lets go inside. Don't want you to get a cold now do we?"

"I don't want...."

"No arguments. I'll sneak you up to your room. Nobody will be able to bother you any more tonight."

"David.... you are just too good to be true sometimes."

"Well when I'm with you, life is like a fairytale." He steered her towards the door. Amy smiled and held his hand as they entered the house. They could hear Peter and Gillian arguing, with the odd comment from Kyle and Maxine. "Go on upstairs, I'm going to find out what happened."

"You sure you want to do that. You might regret it."

"Well if I do I will soon be following you up to your room." She smiled as he walked towards the dining room. She turned and quickly ran up the stairs. Almost bumping into Lauren and Victor.

"What are you doing mom?" Lauren asked

"I'm sneaking in so I don't have to answer any questions."

"You never let me get away without answering questions."

"Yeah well that's because...." thinking that starting an argument was not a good thing, she changed the subject. "Weren't you two meant to be doing the dishes?"

"Yeah, but Kyle hadn't finished eating and then they started arguing and so we decided to stay out of it."

"Oh, well do you two want to go down now and do them?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"Have they finished arguing?"

"I don't know David has gone to find out what happened."

"They started arguing when Kyle defended you."

"Really?!" She was shocked that Kyle cared that much.

"Yeah, it was kinda funny really. Cause then it progressed to Uncle Peter and Aunt Gillian arguing over biting each others head off."

"Oh dear. That's not really funny though is it."

"We'll just go do the dishes." Lauren pushed past Amy but Victor didn't follow.

"Should I stop calling you mom? Cause it caused all those arguments downstairs, and I don't want to be the cause of that."

"It's not your fault, my family just has a habit of over reacting slightly and then things get out of hand when people say things they don't really mean."

"So you want me to keep calling you mom?"

"It's sweet and if that is what you want to call me than I am happy for that to happen."

"Me and L talked about being brother and sister."

"Yeah, how did that go."

"We agreed that it would be kinda cool, like a permanent friendship, if you know what I mean."

Amy nodded before replying. "Yeah."

"Are you ok now? Cause you was pretty upset before."

"Yeah thank you."

"That's cool. I'm going to go help L now." Amy stepped aside and as she watched him leave she thought of the differences between Lauren and him. He was so polite and considerate and Lauren was.... a typical teenager.

* * *

"David my advice to you is not to get involved." Kyle looked up at David as he entered the dining room. 

"Well I am sort of involved."

"But you can hide. Wherever Amy went I advise you to follow."

"What do you mean?" The other three hadn't noticed his arrival up to that point, but if David had decided to leave than it was now too late.

"Ahh, David perhaps you can shed some light on this situation."

"What situation?"

"What situation, honestly! The whole Victor calling Amy mom! That situation."

"Um, it's not really a situation."

"Yes it is." David could feel their eyes burning into him, trying to get an answer to all their questions.

"Well Victor just decided that he wanted to call her that."

"Why?"

"I don't know, you'd have to ask him that."

"Well maybe we will." They went to move to the kitchen.

"No stop, don't start asking him questions. That's not fair on him. It was something about having to call her Mrs Gray. He felt it was weird."

"Weird in what way?"

"I don't know. Too formal maybe, and I didn't want him to call her Amy?"

"Why?"

"It's disrespectful."

"How?"

"It just is. It is how I view it."

"So is Lauren going to start calling you dad?"

"That is up to her to decide." He paused, "Quite frankly I'm wondering what all the fuss is about. It's just a another name."

"Than why wouldn't you want him to call her Amy?"

"Because if something bad did happen between us than...."

"Wouldn't that have the same outcomes as him calling her mom?"

"Yes, but it was in a way a compromise."

"I told you man, I told you to back away. You'll learn, you'll learn never to stick around in this kinda heat!"

"Kyle shut up. You aren't helping. Where is Amy by the way David?"

"She has gone up to bed. I don't want anybody to disturb her." With that he went to leave.

"Wait we haven't finished."

"I have." David said firmly.

"Aunt Max, let him go."

_"Thanks Kyle."_ He nodded as he went past.

* * *

"Your dad sure gets stressed easily." 

"Hmm."

"I hope that my mom and your dad stay together."

"Really? I thought you were still mad at your mom for being with my dad."

"No, I just didn't want another Stu. And I thought he was."

"So you like my dad now?"

"I don't know, but I don't not like him either."

"Cool.... one thing kinda sucks."

"Just one?"

"Well they back each other up when telling us to do things."

"Yeah they can gang up on us now."

"But, we can also gang up on them."

"True, just think about some of the things we can get them to do."

They stood in deep thought, "sweet!" They high fived each other.

* * *

Amy was sitting on her bed braiding her wet hair. She was still upset with what had happened downstairs, and kept sniffing. She wiped her eyes as fresh tears rolled down her cheeks. 

"Hey sniffer." David leant against the door frame. "Still upset?"

"No."

"Lier."

"I'm not lying."

"Course your not." He closed the door and started to walk towards her. "You just started a new habit."

"Yeah." She smiled.

"Come here." He pulled her into an embrace.

"I love you."

"Love you too." David sat on the bed and Amy sat astride him. "You know I aways love you with your hair down." She silently reached up and keeping eye contact, she slowly undid her braid and shook her head freeing her wet curls which were now cascading free on her shoulders. David pulled her face to his, "very nice." She smiled as he kissed her. He played with her hair, twisting it around his fingers. Her arms were wrapped around him, as she stroked the back of his neck.

"Wait, wait, wait." Amy pulled away.

"What? What's wrong." David panted.

"Nothing." She leant into him pushing him back onto the bed.

"I like nothing." He smiled as she kissed him again. She kissed him down his chest, undoing his shirt as she went. There was a light knocking on the door. _"Leave it."_ Amy jumped up.

"Who is it?" She walked slowly to the door and pulled it open. "Lauren what's wrong honey." Lauren was standing shaking and crying. "Lauren whats wrong?" She crouched down pulling her into her arms. "Tell me whats wrong?" Lauren still didn't reply.

"Lauren where's Victor?" David was standing behind Amy quickly doing up his shirt. Lauren sobbed louder. "Lauren?" He repeated in panicky voice. When she still didn't reply he pushed past them and ran down the stairs. He found Victor on the floor of the kitchen with a cut lip. "Victor what happened?" He bent down next to him. David could tell he was trying hard not to cry. "Victor come on, if you want to cry you can." Victor looked up at him, his lip quivering. He shook his head as he got up. He ran up the stairs to his room and slammed the door. David followed quickly, but on seeing Amy still with Lauren he stopped. Knowing that Victor wouldn't speak to him yet, he decided to help Amy find out what had happened from Lauren.

"Come on sweetie you can speak to me." Amy glanced up at David with a pained expression on her face. "Noodle, whats got you so upset? You haven't let me hug you this long since the beginning of the school year." Lauren loosened her grip.

"It.... it.... it.... there.... he.... was.... he.... tried...." Lauren pushed her face back into Amy's shoulder.

"What honey? I don't understand." Amy tried to coax Lauren to continue. David felt dread entering him as he stood watching them, Amy could see what he was thinking and she shook her head. "David don't jump to conclusions." He started towards Victors door. "David stop. Come here." David looked at her bewildered. "You try with her. I will go speak to him."

"But...."

"Lauren, you stay here with David, ok? I'm going to go speak to Victor." Lauren nodded as Amy stood up. David walked back to them and Amy pushed Lauren to him. David crouched down and opened his arms to her and she fell into them still sobbing. He gripped her tightly as she shook. Amy watched them, finally Lauren was beginning to accept David. She knocked on Victors door before opening it. Victor was lying on his bed, his face hidden under a pillow. "Victor what happened?" She sat on the edge of his bed. "Victor?"

_"Mom."_ He sat up throwing his pillow to the side and throwing his arms around her. He began to sob as Amy put her arms around him, hugging him to her. She couldn't find the words to speak, the way he had reacted to her being there had shocked her. It was like just by having a different name, it meant that he could trust her more. She was overcome with emotion and started to cry too.


	33. Goodbye

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 33: Goodbye**

Amy managed to control her tears and started to speak.

"Victor, what happened? Why are you so upset?" Amy stroked his hair out of his face as she spoke. She realised for him, it must have been hard not to have had a mother figure around. Somebody who he could cry in front of. "Victor, honey?"

"There was this man," He took a deep breath, "he was at the window, and then he tried to get in the door as I was locking it and it hit me in the face. Then he ran off." Amy didn't register what Victor said at first.

"What?" Victor dried his eyes but stayed in her arms. "What, what did he look like?"

"It was too dark to see, we just saw some guy's face. I panicked, I thought he was going to get L." Amy unconsciously gripped Victor tighter as she stiffened in fear. She knew she had to try and calm herself but it was hard to do. She could feel her chest tightening and she was finding it hard. "Mom are you ok? Mom? Mom?" Amy's body was getting deprived of oxygen and her grip on him loosened. "Mom?"

"It's.... ok.... Victor."

"Mom?"

"I'm.... fine."

"DAD, dad, dad." Victor called as Amy fell back on the bed. "DAD!"

* * *

Lauren had finally stopped crying but she hadn't spoken to David. She kept her face buried in his shoulder. He couldn't hear what was being said but he could hear Victor crying. When Victor stopped crying he expected to see Amy come back out again with some answers. But she didn't come out. Then he heard Victor calling him. He got up releasing Lauren, "Stay here." He ran into the room and saw Victor shaking Amy. 

"Mom, mom."

"Victor go out to Lauren," but Victor stayed still shaking Amy. "NOW!" Victor looked up at him, his tone scared him and he ran out. "Amy," he pulled her onto his lap as he sat on the bed. He rubbed her back with one hand as he stroked her cheek. "Amy honey." Amy's breathing slowly returned to normal.

"I'm sorry, I...."

"Amy what happened? You haven't had a panic attack in ages and now you have one while speaking to Victor. What did he say to you?"

"There was a man.... standing outside.... he tried to get in.... Victor stopped him.... he thought he was going to get Lauren."

"Somebody tried to get in? Get in your house!" Amy nodded. David hugged her to him. "We need to call the police again Amy. We need to get more protection for you. For everyone."

"We don't need to do that."

"Amy, I don't want you to.... I don't want to lose you. I don't want you to end up like my wife." Amy looked away. "Like Kelly. Amy you mean so much to me." Amy got up off of David.

"I'm going to check on Lauren."

"She's fine, it's you I am worried about."

"You should worry about her too, I worry about Victor."

"Amy don't be stupid. I do care about Lauren. But it is you that is in danger. Don't you understand that. Don't you understand how hard this is for me. Seeing Victor with you, the way he was when you had your panic attack.... I don't want anything to happen to you. It wouldn't just affect me, but Victor too." He pulled her back to him. "Please understand."

"I do understand David. But I can't deal with having somebody following me...."

"Amy somebody is following you. Don't you want somebody good following you to try and protect you from them?" Amy hadn't thought about it like that, but she wasn't ready to back down.

"I'm going to go check on Lauren." She walked to the door. "And Victor." She found them in each others arms. "Hiya guys feeling better?"

"Sort of. It was really scary."

"I know it was. I'm going to go set the alarm.... Can I trust you two to start getting ready for bed?"

"Yes."

"Good." She left them and was down the stairs before David left Victors room.

"Where did Amy go?"

"She's gone to set the alarm."

"On her own?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, now get to bed you two." He ran down the stairs and found Amy typing in the code. "You shouldn't be down here alone."

"Why's that?"

"The guy could try to get in again."

"I'm not scared of him. Victor stopped him didn't he. And he's just a kid."

"He may have done it, but that guy wasn't after him. He was after you. He probably just got spooked."

"David stop worrying will you. I'm a grown woman."

"That may be so. But I love you, and I want to protect you. I can't help but worry about you. I don't want anybody to take you from me."

"You don't own me David."

"I never said that I did."

"I can't take much more of this."

"Can't take much more of what?"

"This David, this. You telling me what to do, how to protect myself. I'm not your wife David. I am not somebody who needs saving. You can't go back in time and save her, and I can't compete with your guilt for not being there. I just don't need this anymore."

"Amy...."

"No David." She stormed up the stairs leaving David who was frozen to the spot, as everything that she had said sunk in.

* * *

Amy sat on her bed and tried hard not to cry again. The frustration she had felt with Stu had come back again. 

"Mom, are you ok? You scared me before."

"Victor, I'm fine."

"Did you have a fight with dad."

"I'm not speaking about your dad with you."

"I don't want you guys to break up."

"Well neither do I."

"Mom, do you think that if you two did get married we'd live here or at my dad's house."

"Victor, if we do decide to get married. That's a long way off, and I don't know right now if it's somewhere that we will ever be." Victor by now was standing next to her.

"I don't want you and dad to break up. Then I would have lost two mom's." Amy looked up at him and saw the pain in his eyes. She opened her arms and gave him a hug.

"Oh Victor, I'm sorry. Come on, I'll come tuck you in."

After tucking Victor in Amy went into Lauren's room. "Hey noodle, ready for bed?"

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"In case the man comes back."

"Do you want me to stay with you till you fall asleep?" Lauren nodded. Amy smiled and slipped into bed behind her. She was still her little girl, not yet old enough to care for herself. Although she hadn't meant to, the toll the days events had had on her caused her to fall asleep.

David by now had gotten into bed and he waited for Amy. He didn't want to risk falling asleep and having more nightmares. When she hadn't come an hour later, he went in search for her. He found her in Laurens room, and although he wanted to wake her, he felt it was selfish of him and just pulled the blanket up over them, and went to check on Victor before reluctantly retiring to bed, alone.

* * *

****

****

****

Amy woke up. She looked at the time. It was 1.30 in the morning. She got out of the bed and walked to the door, turning to check Lauren was still sleeping. Reassured that she was, Amy made her way back to her room. David wasn't there so she figured he had slept on the couch. Amy got under the covers, and quickly fell asleep.

David on the other hand was restless. He was down stairs in the kitchen. He had fallen asleep for a while but had woken after a nightmare. He was sitting on a stool drinking a glass of water. He heard somebody moving about upstairs and hoped that it was Amy coming back to their bed.

She stirred as he opened the door, and rolled over as he got into the bed. _"David?"_

_"Shhh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you."_

_"I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier. I was a jerk!"_

_"No you weren't. Everything you said was true. I'm the one who should be saying sorry to you."_

_"You know Victor said something which kinda made me upset.... in a good way."_

_"Uhuh, what was that?"_

_"He didn't want us to break up, because that would mean, that would mean that he would have lost two mom's!"_

_"Oh Amy." _David pulled her into his arms. They fell asleep in each others arms. Peacefully unaware that Amy was getting closer and closer to danger.

* * *

_"Did they make up last night?"_ Lauren was sitting on Victors bed whispering. 

_"I don't know. She was pretty upset."_

_"Would your dad have apologised?"_

_"I would have thought so."_

_"Did they like sleep together?"_

_"I'll go check."_ Victor tiptoed out of the room and was soon back. _"Yeah, they slept together."_

_"Yeah but like do they have their backs to each other, or are they like right next to each other?"_

_"My dad has his arms wrapped round her."_

_"Good."_

_"I hope that they never break up!"_

_"Me too. It's so romantic don't you think."_

"What are you two upto whispering in here?" Maxine opened Victor's door.

"Nothing Mrs Gray."

"Really, I don't believe that."

"Fine, we were talking about mom and dad."

"Yeah about that, why did you decide to call Amy mom?" Victor shrugged.

"I guess I feel that we got quite close, and I don't know, it seemed quite appropriate."

"I see. Well do you two want to help me with breakfast?"

"Sure." They both chorused.

"Can we make them breakfast in bed?" Victor asked,

"Sure, but we better start now, so that we will have finished before they get up." The three of them ran down the stairs and started on the breakfast.

Amy was the first to stir. "Damn it's morning already."

"Well, never mind, we get to sleep in today."

"No we don't."

"Yes we do. Go back to sleep."

"I'm not sleepy any more."

"Well we'll just lay here then." Amy sat up and turned to David.

"You just want to lay here?"

"What's wrong with that?" Amy smiled as she leaned in and kissed him, as he started to open his mouth she pulled away.

"If you just want to lie here, we will just lie here."

"Hey, that's not fair." He moved over so he was above her. "If that is what you want, your wish is my command."

"Yeah."

"Yeah." He leaned down and kissed her quickly on the lips before he moved down to her neck.

"Mmmm." He had moved down to her breasts, and even though there was her t-shirt between his lips and her skin he was sending shivers down her spine.

There was a knock on the door. "Not again."

"Don't stop."

"Mom, dad we have a surprise for you."

"Ok, ok stop." David rolled onto his back. "Come in." They both sat up as the door opened.

"We made you breakfast in bed." They smiled as they watched Lauren and Victor walk over to their bed. The concentration on their faces almost made Amy laugh. "We made it all by ourselves."

_"Better get the ant-acid."_ David moaned as Amy hit him.

"Thank you. But what is the special occasion?" Amy looked at Lauren who just shrugged. "Ok, what do you want?"

"Want? We don't want anything. We'll be going now." Victor grabbed Lauren and pulled her out of the room.

"They're up to something." Amy turned to David.

"Yep, but they made us breakfast so I don't care right now." He dug into the pancakes and looked up at her with his cheeks pushed out. "It's Good." She laughed before she started on hers.

"You are such a pig."

"What?" He said with his mouth still stuffed with food. "Me?"

"Yes you." Amy took the smallest of bites out of her pancakes.

David swallowed his mouthful. "What was that meant to be?"

"What?" She asked innocently.

"This is what we call a mouthful of food." He cut a large piece out of his pancake and turned to her.

"What is your point?"

"You are going to eat it."

"I have my own pancakes thanks."

"No you are going to eat this size of piece." Amy shook her head. "Yes you are." He moved the fork right in front of her mouth. Amy tried to keep her lips together but she started to laugh and David took the opportunity to push the pancake in her mouth. "There you go. Enjoy." He then went back to eating his own pancakes.

"Now it's your turn."

"No problem, I've seen the amount you put in your mouth, I could swallow it without chewing."

"Not this one," she cut a massive chunk out of her pancakes and held it up to David. "Do you accept the challange and payback."

"Yep." Amy laughed at his face as he tried to chew and swallow it. "Easy."

"Sure it was." They finished eating and Amy got up.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to get ready for work."

"Are you going to have a shower?" He asked with a mischievious grin on his face.

"Why?" Amy tilted her head to one side.

"Well I was thinking, it would be quicker if we took one shower instead of two."

"Don't you want to have a shower then?" Amy smiled as she backed towards the door.

"Very funny." He slowly got up and chased after her into the bathroom. They locked the door and kissed as they undressed each other. They washed each other and as they stood still under the shower in a tight embrace, their short kisses turned into a long and slow one. David ran his hands up and down her back , holding her close to him. Amy's were up and around his neck.

There was a knock on the door. They both seemed not to hear it and didn't seem to require to breath. As if they were sustaining each other. There was another knock on the door. Still they stayed together.

"AMY I DON'T KNOW IF YOU WERE PLANNING ON GOING TO WORK, BUT IF YOU WERE, YOU ARE GOING TO BE LATE! I'M GOING TO TAKE THE KIDS TO SCHOOL, WE DON'T WANT THEM TO BE LATE.... DO WE?" Finally they broke away and looked at each other. Not wanting to move, but knowing they had to.

* * *

They got to work with 5 minutes to spare. "See you for lunch?" 

"Yeah see you there." Amy ran upto her chambers. Bruce was pacing up and down but stopped when he saw her. "Don't Bruce." She held up a hand. "I don't need a lecture."

"Judge Gray you have responsibilities and lately you have been neglecting them!"

"Bruce I said that I didn't want a lecture."

"Ever since you have been with McClaren, you have been neglecting...." Amy grabbed her robe and threw it on.

"We have cases to see to." She stormed past him and out of the door. "Come on, or we will be late." Bruce sighed and followed her.

* * *

"How was your morning?" 

"Nasty, I now have a cop with me like all the time."

"Well you need extra protection."

"Yeah but it's creepy, look that's the guy over there." She pointed over his shoulder. "He just stares at me and around me."

"He has to, to make sure you are ok."

"But it's creepy, it's like he's judging me or something!" He caressed her cheek.

"But he's not. Now what do you want to eat?"

"I'm not that hungry."

"Amy you have to eat."

"You go ahead, honestly I don't feel like eating."

"Is this going to be like Bugsy's?"

"No, I feel sick not hungry."

"At least have some fries."

"David, just stop it. I don't need any more nagging."

"Baby, I'm just concerned that's all."

"Well don't be. I'm going back to my chambers, I want to check up on some cases."

"Amy, eat something now."

"You are not the boss of me, I'm going to my chambers."

"Baby...."

"No." Amy got up and rushed out of the cafeteria. She ran up to her chambers and when she got there she stood out of breath, panting.

"You ok Judge Gray?"

"Bruce, hi, yes."

"You don't look ok."

"Well I am. Why is everybody fussing?"

"Where's you guard?"

"Somewhere."

"What do you mean somewhere?"

"I left in a rush, don't know where he is."

"Judge Gray, you know you need protection."

"Leave it out will you."

"Amy, think of what could have happened last time if Eric hadn't been there. You don't have him this time."

"No I don't I have...."

"You have who? Your mother? She may scare me but she won't scare somebody on a mission to hurt you or your family."

"You're scared of my mom?" Amy smiled.

"Amy, everybody is scared of your mom!"

* * *

David finished his lunch quickly, not wanting to endure the stares from the 'rumour mill' any longer. Gossip about him and Amy was something he did not need right now. He had been slightly shocked by her outburst and a little hurt by what she had said. He was also worried about the fact that she hadn't eaten anything. 

He went up to her chambers, and knocked on the door.

"Come in."

"Amy I...." He stopped when he saw Bruce there.

"I'll be back in 5." Bruce looked at Amy then left.

"Amy, I'm sorry. But you do need to eat and I worry about you. I don't want you to get hurt. It would kill me to lose you."

"David, I know you don't mean to be," she looked down, "but you're suffocating me. You just.... I need a break." David stared at her without speaking. Trying to take in what she was saying. "I need a break."

"What?"

"You heard me. Please can you leave."

"Amy, look me in the face and say that."

"I can't."

"Amy...." she looked up. Her eyes were filled with tears, they began to pour down her cheeks. "Oh honey what's wrong?" He ran to her side, but she backed away.

"I asked you to leave. Now leave."

"But I...."

"Tonight when we get home, you can get your stuff and go back to yours. Don't speak to me right now. I have to be back in court in a minute." David slowly walked out of her chambers. Why was Amy doing this? What had he done wrong? He didn't think he had been suffocating her. He knew she had wanted to go slow, because of her injuries. But this morning. This morning, she had accepted him, and although they hadn't really done anything other than kiss, they had had a strong connection. They had been together in almost every sense of the word. He shook his head trying to hold back the tears.

* * *

The journey to pick up the kids was agonising for David. He was desperate to sort everything out, but no matter how many times he glanced at her, she held her gaze on the road. 

"Amy, this is stupid."

"Don't talk to me about stupid."

"Amy, will you tell me what is going on?"

"We are going to pick up the kids, you and Victor are going to pack, and then you are going to leave my house."

"Why?"

"Because we are taking a break from each other."

"If you just wanted more space, than I could go back to my place, but we don't need to do this. We don't need to break up."

"Not now, David, not now." They pulled up to the approved picking up point and the kids jumped in. They noticed something was wrong immediately.

"What's wrong mom?" David looked over at Amy and noticed tears falling down her cheeks. He pulled away from the curb and started towards the Gray household.

"Nothing." Amy managed to get out and the rest of the journey was in silence. When they arrived the kids ran into the house, and David went upstairs to pack. Amy followed and sat on the bed watching.

"Amy, why don't we just leave this for now, but please don't let us break up."

"I've already decided."

"So I don't get a choice in the matter?"

"No."

"That's not fair."

"Stop it, you sound like a kid."

"And this isn't being a kid. What about Victor? He just started calling you mom, now what is he going to do?"

"He's a strong kid. He'll get over it."

"How can you say that Amy? How can you just sit there and say that? He trusted you. He trusted you and let you into his heart, just like I did. I told you everything, you are the one I chose, you were the one!"

"That's nothing to do with me David." She wiped her eyes, trying to stop the tears that were refusing to subside. She stood to leave, but David reached for her arm. "Don't...." He released her arm.

"What's wrong mom? Why are you crying?" Amy pushed past him, "mom?"

"Don't call me that!" She said as she ran down the stairs.

"Dad, what's wrong? Why are you packing? Why was mom crying? Why were you shouting?"

"Victor, it's none of you business. We are leaving now go pack."

"Why?"

"Because we are leaving. Now go pack. You wanted to go, now we are. So go pack!"

"NO! I'm staying here."

"Victor you do not have a choice! We have been asked to leave. We are not welcome here anymore."

"I don't believe you."

"Go pack."

"NO!" Victor ran to his room and locked the door. Lauren came upstairs confused at where Victor had gone and walked in on David packing.

"Why are you packing?"

"Not you too."

"Where's mom? Why was there shouting? Why are you packing?"

"I don't know, because and I'm leaving."

"Why are you leaving? Did mom do something wrong? I'm sure she's sorry. Please forgive her. I don't want you to leave."

"It's not up to me. Victor and I are leaving."

"No, you can't! Stay, please. I just got used to you. Please don't leave. I don't want you to go. I will stop fussing about you two, please." Lauren had started to cry. David knelt in front of her and hugged her.

"I don't want to leave either, but your mom wants me too."

"I hate her, I hate her. She ruins everything. She always ruins everything!" She was sobbing into his shoulder now.

"You don't really hate her, and yes she has made some mistakes. But you have to realise that it's all part of life. Maybe one day your mom will ask me back. But it's up to her." Lauren had managed to calm him, and he was thankful. He didn't want to be angry with Amy. He was ashamed that he had shouted at her, and he wished that he had managed to stay calm. Not that it would have changed anything.

"But please stay. I don't want you to go."

"Well I'm sorry but we have to respect your mothers wishes. Although I don't know when we are leaving because Victor has refused to pack and he has locked himself in his room."

"Good."

"What?"

"Mom won't ask him to leave. She's not that mean. So if he stays locked in there you will have to stay."

"If only it was that easy sweetie. Your mom could always send me on my own."

"But I don't want you to go. I love, um having you here." Lauren looked up at him.

"I don't know what to do."

"Go find her."

"How?"

"She'll probably be on the swing. She always goes there to think." David thanked Lauren before going in search of Amy. She had been right and there she was. Curled up on the swing, crying.

"Amy."

"Haven't you left yet?"

"No, I can't."

"Why's that."

"Because Victor locked himself in his room, refusing to pack. He didn't want to leave you while you were crying. If you want me to leave, you'll have to go speak to him."

"You can go, I'll send ma round with him later."

"Amy stop it."

"I have asked you to go. Now go." She covered her face in with her hands. Trying to suppress a sob. _"Please, just go."_

"Why are you doing this?"

"I don't want you here David, I don't want to get...." Finally David thought he was starting to get an answer.

"You don't want to get?"

"What?"

"You just said...." She stood and looked up at him. She reached up and placed a hand on his cheek.

"Please go, I don't want you to stay. Please respect my wishes David." She lowered his head and kissed him softly on the lips. _"Goodbye David."_ With that she walked in the house.

David sat on the swing and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying not to cry. He couldn't believe what was happening. He was still so confused. He didn't know why this was happening to him, and he didn't know what was the reason. He was now more sure than ever that there was a reason since she had started to say it but had stopped herself.

He slowly dragged himself upstairs, grabbed his stuff and left. Hoping that maybe Victor would have some effect on her. Bring her to her senses, so that she would speak to him. Tell him what was wrong, and maybe even take him back.

* * *

Victor sat in his room looking out of the window. He watched his dad get in the car and drive away. He smiled grimly before getting up and unlocking his door. He crept downstairs and found Amy in the family room crying on the couch. 

"Mom, why are you crying?"

"Victor I told you to stop calling me that."

"Why? I asked you to be my mom, you accepted!"

"No Victor, you asked if you could call me mom, not for me to be your mom."

"It means the same thing." Amy stopped crying and controlled her breathing before continuing. Victor deserved a better explanation, if not more consideration than David did at that point.

"Please Victor don't."

"Mom, I love you and I don't want you to leave dad."

"It's too late Victor. He's gone."

"But he'll come back, just call him." He picked up the phone and held it out to her.

"NO, go to your room until my mother arrives, then she will take you home."

"But mom...."

"Victor don't call me mom, in fact forget you even ever called me that." Tears sprang to his eyes as she said this.

"Don't you love my dad?"

"Yes I do, but I just.... we are taking a break."

"Will you get back together?"

"I don't know sweetie, but please, stop crying." Victor just stood there in front of her, with tears rolling down his face. "Come here honey." She opened her arms and Victor gladly fell into them. Amy wrapped her arms around him tightly. "You have to understand that some things just don't work out. It was nothing to do with you or Lauren, you did nothing wrong so don't think that. I still love you and your dad, but please stop calling me mom. It hurts me when I say it."

_"But I don't want to have lost two moms."_

"You won't have, I will still be here. You just won't call me mom, youi'll call me Mrs Gray or Amy."

"But I want to call you mom."

"Victor please. I am not your mom, I am.... was your dad's girlfriend." Amy looked at the clock. "I tell you what. You can stay tonight, but go home with your dad after school tomorrow."

"But...."

"Or you can go home now!"

"I'll stay."

"Phone your dad to tell him, we don't want him to think you are coming, when you are not." Victor grabbed the phone and began dialing.


	34. I Don't Want To Run Away

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters, or the song mentioned in this chapter.

**Chapter 34: I Don't Want To Run Away**

As usual Donna was straight into gossip central, finding out all the new information and the news she heard today upset her and angered her; Amy had broken up with David. She knew that Amy wouldn't tell her much, so she went to try and find something out from David. She could also tell him, her opinion of why she broke up with him. Maybe that would help them get back together.

When she reached his office she knocked on the door.

"Come in." He looked up and when he saw it was Donna he smiled. "Did Amy send you?"

"No sorry, I am here on a mission."

"What would that be?"

"To get you and Judge Gray back together."

"Well you came to the wrong person, she broke up with me, I didn't break up with her."

"Ok, see this is the problem."

"What?"

"In your mind she broke up with you, right?"

"Isn't that what I just said?"

"Well in her mind, you broke up with her."

"What?"

"She has been hurt so many times that she wanted to get away before she got hurt."

"How do you know that?"

"If you were around with all her past relationships, you would understand. She feels you have to be on the same level."

"You mean I have to be a Judge?"

"No, not that kind of level. The level where you both want the same thing. The longest she really was with someone apart from Michael, was Stu, and that was because he manipulated her into thinking that what he wanted, she wanted. So it seemed to her like they were on the same level. She knew something was wrong with their relationship but she couldn't figure out what that was. Until it finally clicked on her wedding day. Apparantly he almost managed to persuade her to elope after she ran out on the wedding. He was good at that."

"Good at what?"

"Manipulating and bullying, without it being obvious."

"I see."

"She has made many mistakes, but I feel that she thought you were a keeper. You seemed to be more on her level than anyone else."

"But do you think it would be different if I were a judge?"

"No, she's been out with a judge...Judge Krumble. Didn't work out."

"Why?"

"Because he didn't want to go to Spain with her."

"What?"

"She wanted to go to Spain; she used to do this thing with Michael where they would fantasise about being somewhere like Spain, than if they could, off they would go."

"But she broke up with him because he didn't want to go to Spain."

"He wouldn't drop things to be with her. It was like he was just with her for the sex."

"Ok, anything else you are going to tell me, is it so I don't make any mistakes while trying to get you back." She nodded.

"Well she once went out with Laurens Karate teacher. That was alot of fun."

"Ok, why?"

"He was like 25," David lifted his eyebrows, "and well he was a rebound guy so you know what that means. Anyway this one I think is quite important, so listen up."

"I am listening!"

"Ok, well there was this guy Tom, and they had previously been together but there was a conflict of interest or something stupid like that so they had to separate. Then when he decided to leave law, he asked her back out. She loved him so she dumped the guy she was with and went back to him. He was a really nice guy and when her best friend from high school's husband hit on her, he supported her through that. Tom decided after a while they should make their relationship public, and Amy didn't want to but finally agreed. Tom obviously had to speak to his ex-wife about it before speaking to his kids. He then was offish to Amy for a bit. Before finally telling her that his wife was upset when he told her and they were now getting back together. He said he loved Amy but he wanted to try and work things out with his wife."

"That is harsh, I admit. But I can't go back to my wife."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah but you can go back to her memory. Maybe she feels threatened by that."

"But I won't, Victor started to call her mom."

"Your son started to call her mom?"

"Yeah, it kinda shocked me cuz he's like 13, and he just decided to. I would have expected it maybe, if he was alot younger, he accepted her almost as soon as we became more serious."

"Interesting."

"But anyway, Amy is scared you are going to string her along and than dump her. She doesn't want to get hurt by you. By dumping you, she can't blame you or your son."

"But she is hurting herself, that doesn't make sense."

"David, it does, in Amy's world. It's better to hurt oneself rather than be hurt by someone elses actions."

"But that's stupid. How does she ever end up with anyone?"

"I don't know all the answers David. Just show her that you are with her all the way, that you will always support her. That all she has to do is accept you back into her life. Don't leave, and definitely don't run away again. Make yourself available, and show her you care, show her that you will always be there for her."

"I was doing that. I almost ran when she was in hospital, but I didn't. I stayed, even though we technically weren't together then."

"Well you know what to do."

"But she won't talk to me. She makes me tell her everything, but yet she won't open up."

"She can't yet. You need to prove to her that she won't get hurt no matter what happens. You need to protect her, almost shield her from the real world."

"How will I do that?"

"David, I told you. I don't know all the answers. It is between you and Judge Gray."

"You don't know this much detail about this relationship do you?"

"No, you two were very good at keeping things quiet. The others weren't so good. Once us girls get chatting, well, you know."

"Good, and Donna, if you personally get any info on us. Don't spread it. Please, and this conversation, it didn't happen." Donna looked away before looking him in the eye,

"I promise."

* * *

Amy smiled as she saw the flowers on her desk. He had sent 23 white roses and 1 red. She picked up the card and read it; 

_White to symbolise beginnings  
__I didn't want us to end!  
__Red because I love you  
__From the bottom of my heart!  
__24 because it is the number of hours  
__Of everyday that I still think of you!_

_D xxx_

She held the card to her heart and let the tears overflow, and Donna who had entered Amy's chambers smiled. She had already read the card, wanting to see if her work with David had paid off. She turned and left and almost ran straight in to Bruce.

"What are you up to Donna?"

"Nothing."

"You're always up to something Donna."

"But I'm not."

"So how come you came out of Judge Gray's chambers like a bat out of hell?"

"She looked like she needed some privacy."

_'Since when has that ever stopped you'_ Bruce thought. "Ok."

* * *

Amy had been in a good mood ever since receiving the roses. She arrived at the approved picking up point and Lauren jumped in the car, closely followed by Victor. 

"Victor, you're meant to be waiting for your father."

"He's late. He said he would be here half an hour ago. He's not here. I'm not supposed to wait on my own."

"Please mom."

"Lauren..."

"Who are the flowers from?" Amy blushed and smiled.

"No-one."

_"They're from my dad." _Victor whispered to Lauren. Amy heard but chose to ignore it.

"What did the card say?"

"None of your business."

_"It was definitely your dad." _Lauren giggled.

"Quiet you two. We are going to wait here for your father, because he will worry about where you are if he turns up and you are not here."

"No he won't."

"Victor, he will. And he won't be happy with me if I take you."

"But..."

"No." Amy turned the radio up and began to sing along to it.

"Mom!" They both yelled.

"What? This is my car, you don't have to be here Victor, and Lauren you asked for him to stay. To save my sanity I will be singing."

"But, wait, my dad's here."

"Out you get then."

"Nah, I'll wait till he gets out... make sure it's him."

"Victor," Amy's eyes flashed in frustration.

"Fine I'm getting out." He slowly undid his seat belt, slowly opened the door, and even slower he got out of the car.

"Any slower and you'd be going backwards." Victor just turned round and smiled.

David who had gotten out of the car by now, walked over to Victors door. "Are you hurt?"

"No."

"Then why are you moving slowly."

"Because I want to. You're late!"

"I know I'm sorry."

"Couldn't you have called Amy and let her pick me up?"

"I didn't expect to be this late."

"Hiya D."

"Hiya Lauren, how was school?"

"It was ok. I don't think they realise that we need to watch tv, not do homework."

"Oh you **need** to watch tv ay?" David winked at Amy and she looked away.

"Yeah, how else do we keep up with the latest news on the stars." Lauren said in her duh, it's so obvious voice.

"_Lauren be quiet._ We should be going now. Bye Victor."

"Bye mom. Cya L."

"Bye Amy. Speak to you soon Lauren."

"Bye D."

"Bye Amy."He repeated.

"Bye David." Amy got the car in gear as David closed the door.

David stood with his hands on Victor's shoulders watching her pulling away.

"You sent her flowers didn't you."

"Yep."

"She loves them."

"Really?"

"Yeah, when we asked her about them she blushed and couldn't stop smiling."

"Good good. So she had them with her."

"Yeah, what did you write in the card?"

"Why?"

"Cause she refused to tell us anything."

"Hmmm."

"What?"

"We're going home now." He started towards the car.

"You're not going to tell me are you?"

"Nope." David laughed at Victors face, and was still chuckling all the way home.

They walked into the house and Victor headed straight for the phone.

"Uh what are you doing Victor.?"

"Phoning L."

"No you're not. Homework first."

"We can talk while we are doing it."

"No, you can talk after it."

"But we talked when we were at mom's house." David looked down at this.

"Well we aren't there now. Back to the old rules."

"But dad..."

"No! Go do your homework." Victor pulled a face and stormed to his room, slamming the door closed.

David sat on the sofa, and turned the tv on. He started flicking through the channels and after an hour he finally gave up trying to find something and threw the remote onto the coffee table.

"Dad, I finished my homework, can I call L now?"

"Sure. What do you want for your dinner."

"Don't care." Victor was dialing Laurens number.

"Come on you must know..." Victor held up his hand.

"Talking... hiya L," he walked out of the room. David smiled, he had started to act like Amy.

* * *

"I think they are going to get back together, mom is really happy compared to this morning." 

"I know, dad is just flicking through the channels, it's kinda funny really."

"Do you think you could get your dad round here, than they would have to talk."

"I don't know, how would I get him over?"

"Um, what about saying you can't find the book you need to do your homework, and you know I have one."

"I told him I finished my homework, that's why it took me so long to call."

"Can't you just say you forgot. Besides, if what we think is right, as soon as you give him an excuse to come here, it probably won't sink in what you say he'll be in the car before you finish."

"True, I'll go try, if it doesn't work I'll ring you back, if it does, I'll see you in soon."

"K, bye."

"Bye L." Victor hung up and ran into the family room where David was still flicking through the channels. "Dad, L just told me a piece of homework I forgot about, and the book I need I left in my locker. Can we go to mom's? I really need to do it now." Victor smiled as David jumped up switching the tv off and heading for the door.

"Come on then. If you **have** to do it tonight."

"Cool." Victor ran to the door.

* * *

Lauren was watching the driveway out of the window. 

"Lauren will you come and eat your dinner please."

"I'm coming."

"You've been saying that for 10 minutes." Amy walked into the family room. "What are you looking at?"

"Nothing." Lauren jumped down from the window seat.

"What were you looking at Lauren?"

"As I said, nothing. So what are we eating?" She started towards the dining room when there was a knock on the door. "I'll get it."

"Lauren." Amy said in a warning tone, but Lauren ignored her and went to answer the door.

_"She's kinda angry at me right now. So your dad better be in a really good mood so that he can cope."_

_"He is."_

"Lauren who is... hello Victor. What are you doing here?"

"I didn't have the book I needed for my homework, and L told me she had it, so I came here, is that ok mom?"

"That's fine, but please don't call me mom honey. Where's your dad?"

Lauren smiled at Victor, "He's in the car, he'll be here in a minute."

"Right, well. I'll be upstairs." Amy turned and ran up the stairs.

_"We'll send him up."_ Victor whispered to Lauren, and she nodded.

"Hiya Lauren...Victor this isn't homework. Go and do it now. Hang on Lauren, where's your mom?"

"Upstairs." She giggled, as before running off with Victor.

"Right." He slowly made his way upstairs. "Amy?" She was lying on her bed headphones on looking up at the ceiling. He walked over to her, and she jumped when he touched her. She pulled her headphones off, and moved to the other side of the bed.

"David... I don't... why are you..."

"Here? The kids sent me up, well they sort of did, they ran off somewhere. Hopefully they are doing their homework. Other wise I have a sneaky suspicion that there wasn't actually any." Amy smiled and sat up crossing her legs. David stood awkwardly at the end of the bed.

"Sit down, you might as well." David slowly sat on the bed.

"I heard that you liked my flowers." Amy blushed as she replyed.

"Yeah, they were very nice."

"And the card?" She just nodded this time. "I miss you!"

"David..."

"It's hard to sleep without you beside me. It feels empty."

"I'm sorry David, but... we shouldn't be doing this here." She looked down at the bed.

"Amy, I'll go, but first I would like to say something. I love you and have promised never to leave you again... I've kept that promise, I haven't run away. You are the first woman I have loved since my wife, and I don't want to lose you! I will never leave you, I won't dump you, and I don't think I can live without you! I will never cheat on you, or have a fling, I'm serious about you Amy. God, my 13 year old son even calls you mom! Yes we will have our problems, and no I won't run because of them. I hate to break promises, and I especially hate breaking them with you!"

_"But you still refer to Kelly as your wife David. I don't want to compete with her memory."_

"You won't... you have to understand. It is hard not to refer to her as my wife. I was married to her and that is how I have always introduced her. It kinda just slips out, I will try harder to call her Kelly, but it's going to take time."

"I'm just not sure if I can do this. I don't want to... I can't."

"Amy, finish your sentences... I know you don't want to get hurt, and I don't plan on hurting you."

"Nobody plans to, it just happens." Amy got up and walked over to the closet. "I just don't want to hate you for it." David walked up behind her. He slipped his arms around her waist. "I don't want to think of you in a bad way." A tear rolled down her cheek. "I don't want to regret being with you."

"Hey, hey, hey. Don't cry!" He turned her, but she didn't look him in the eye. He lifted her chin, forcing her to look at him. "You won't, stop acting like it has already happened." He could see the despair and hope fighting in her eyes, and it saddened him that she couldn't trust him. "I love you, please trust me that I do."

"I know you love me David."

"Well what's the problem? Stop putting me in the category of failed relationships when you haven't given me a chance, you think I'm going to dump you, so you dump me before it happens."

"I'm sorry..." David cut her off by placing his lips on hers. She pushed him away. "Don't!"

"Amy, I'm not going to leave you. You're killing me. I thought we just talked it all through. You don't know what I'm going to do Amy, stop trying to anticipate what the future will bring. Especially bad things." Amy walked away from him.

"But you, and... Victor already got hurt because of me."

"That wasn't your fault."

"It was, if I hadn't made that ruling, if we weren't together, if you hadn't been staying the night, if..."

"Amy, that's alot of if's. You can't control everything."

"I can try." He stepped towards her.

"Honey, I know you want to, I know I would want to. But we can't. We don't have control of everything and there is no way we can."

"But we can have control of some things."

"Amy, that would make life boring as hell if we could control everything. Relax a bit and, and take a break."

"We are taking a break."

"That's not the kind of break I was thinking of Amy, and you know it."

"David, I don't want to discuss this."

"Well I do. You can't decide what risks I want to take, as well as the risks you want to take. If I want to risk getting hurt to be with you. Then that is my decision, not yours."

"But you getting hurt would hurt me too. And I don't want that."

"You doing this hurts me."

"I know, but at least you are still there, can move on. Get over the hurt."

"I won't ever get over you Amy. Ever. I love you so much that it..."

"Just go."

"The kids are doing homework. I can't just go."

"I'll drop Victor home. I just want to be alone now." David slowly walked out of her room.

"See you later then." Amy didn't reply, she sat on her bed and put her head in her hands.

* * *

David sat at home drinking some wine. Half the bottle was gone already, but he kept drinking. Amy had stayed in the car when she dropped Victor off and as soon as he was clear she had driven away. He had been crying since Victor had gone to bed, and now it seemed he had none left to shed. The wine was helping to numb the pain, as he sat listening to a CD with a song on repeat: 

_If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad, today?  
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours, this way?  
If you are not mine then why does your heart return, my call  
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand, at all _

I never know what the future brings  
But I know you are here with me now  
We'll make it through  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on, my bed?  
If I don't need you then why does your name resound, in my head?  
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim, my life?  
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you, as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away  
But I know that this much is true  
We'll make it through  
And I hope you are the one I share my life with  
And I wish that you could be the one I die with  
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with  
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away  
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today  
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right,  
And though I can't be with you tonight  
And know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it I don't understand  
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?  
Is there any way that I could stay in your life?

By the time the song had re-started for the fifth time the bottle of wine was finished. He got up and went into the kitchen but he couldn't find another one. So he just grabbed a beer, and fell back onto the sofa.

Unknown to David, Victor was still awake, whispering to Lauren on the phone.

_"L, I'm really scared. He has this stupid song on repeat and he finished a whole bottle of wine. And I heard him go into the kitchen so he probably got himself a beer. That's mixing drinks isn't it?"_

_"I think so, are you going to be ok? Has he ever gotten violent before?"_

_"I don't know, he's never drunken this much, at least not when I've been here."_

_"He must be pretty bummed over my mom then."_

_"I know, he was crying earlier but he hasn't been for a while."_

_"Hang on, my mom is shouting something."_ Lauren placed her hand over the receiver as she spoke to Amy. "I can't."

"Lauren, you get off the phone now or you are grounded for a week. You are meant to be asleep by now and here you are talking. You will see Victor tomorrow."

"But mom..." Amy grabbed the phone and hung up on Victor. "Mom, that was way out of order and rude!"

"I told you to get off the phone and you know better than to keep talking after I've sent you to bed." The phone rang and Amy asnswered it, managing to speak calmly. "Gray residence."

"Mom,"

"Victor, Lauren will speak to you tomorrow. Right now she is going to bed, and so should you be. I hope you don't sneak the phone like this every night."

"Um, no but..."

"Victor, go to bed. I don't know what your father is doing, but he isn't being very responsible. Now hang up and don't call back. Goodnight."

"Mom..." But Amy had hung up the phone again.

"Mom, stop hanging up on him. He has something to say... he's worried about D, he was crying and he..."

"And I was crying too, it's because we broke up. He will get over it. I will too."

"But he is drinking, and listening to the same song, over and over again."

"So, I've done that too."

"He's had a whole bottle of wine and Victor thinks he's now gone onto beer."

"David doesn't drink that much, he must have been mistaken." Amy tried to kid herself. The phone rang again, "Victor?"

"Yeah... did L tell you about dad?"

"Uhuh, are you sure he has had all that?"

"Yeah, I watched him open the wine, and now it's lying on the floor empty and he's now drinking beer, but I don't know how many of them he has had."

"Ok Victor, this is serious stuff here, are you definitely sure that he has had that much."

"Yes."

_"Typical of all the nights for ma to go on a date with Ignacio."_

"Are you going to come?"

"Um, yeah. Hang on honey, I just need to figure some stuff out then I will be straight round."

"Ok, see you soon mom."

"Bye."

Amy stood with the phone in her hand, not sure what to do. David mixing his drinks was a bad idea, but it wasn't life threatening. He would just have a really bad hang over. But she had promised Victor that she would go round, he was scared and she was his only comfort.

"Lauren, get dressed, we are going over there."

"Can't I just stay here?"

"No, I want to make sure you are safe. I can't do that if you're on your own."

* * *

Half an hour later they arrived, Lauren held Amy's hand as they walked up to the front door, which surprised Amy at first before she gave it a comforting squeeze. When they knocked on the door they heard a loud thud as somebody fell over. Then the door slowly creaked open and David was hanging off it. Lauren stepped behind Amy. 

"Amy...what you doing here?"

"I'm here to deal with you." She walked into the house with Lauren still standing behind her._ "Go to Victors room honey, you know where that is right?"_ Lauren ran off.

"Amy why... you here?" He swung round as he closed the door. She walked towards him and supported him before walking with him to his room. "Ahh, wanted some action heh?"

"Don't be a jerk David."

"I'm... me a jerk?" David fell against the bed almost pulling Amy with him. "Come... here."

"No, you are going to stay here, then I'm going to get you some water." She went quickly into the kitchen and poured a glass. When she got back to David's room he had undressed down to his boxer shorts.

"I'm ready for you." Ignoring him, she held out the glass.

"Drink this."

"I don't like water." Hoping his brain wasn't really working, she quickly responded;

"It's not water, it's this new drink called H2O."

"Wow, let me try it..." he drank the entire glass and dropped the it on the bed. "I like H2O!"

"Really, would you like some more?" David nodded and she went and fetched him some more. After his fourth glass she laid him back on the bed. "Now lay down, and don't move." She pulled the blanket over him and went to the bathroom, where she soaked a small towel in cold water. Sitting next to him on the bed she bathed his head, until he fell asleep.

Amy then went and checked on the kids. "How are you two doing?"

"Is he going to be ok?"

"He's going to have a massive hang-over, but other than that, I have everything under control."

"Really?"

"Yes. Are you ok Lauren?"

"Yeah, he looked scary when he answered the door."

"Many people are scary when they are drunk. Don't worry about it though, He doesn't normally drink that much."

"I bet you'll never make up now." Victor looked down at the floor.

"Victor, look I'm going to be honest with you, this isn't helping his case. But I'm not going to discuss this with you. Ok? But whatever happens, I will always be here for you. All you gotta do is call."

"Thanks."

"Now Lauren, I'm going to make up the couch for you, because we are going to spend the night. I want you to go to sleep quickly because you still have school tomorrow."


	35. Headaches, Heartaches And Hatred

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. Nor do I ownn any of the songs I use or the artists or sang/wrote them. 

**Chapter 35: Headaches, Heartaches And Hatred**

The next morning Amy phoned in sick for both her and David. There were many questions asked, and she answered them as honestly as she could. But she knew they didn't believe her story. She then phoned Maxine.

"Hi ma."

"Amy, where are you? And where's Lauren?"

"We're at David's. He drank alot of alcohol last night and Victor got scared."

"Oh my god, is he ok?"

"Yes, everything is fine. I just thought I should let you know. I'm sorry I didn't leave a note, we were in a rush when we left."

"That's ok, at least you phoned me this morning. Do you need any help at all?"

"Not right now, but could you pick up the kids from school tonight and take them home. I may be back by then but I don't want to make assumptions yet. And maybe it would be better for Victor to stay the night there."

"Ok, I hope to see you later... but phone if you can't make it home tonight."

"I will try... speak to you later."

"Bye."

"Bye."

She rushed the kids to school, before returning to wait for David to wake up. She didn't have long to wait as he soon got up. "Ow, my head... Amy why are you here?" She had been sitting on the other side of the bed reading a book.

"Finally you're awake. I'll go get you something for your head."

"Ok..." David jumped up suddenly, and ran to the bathroom. Just making it to the toilet before he threw up. Amy heard him rinse out his mouth before stumbling back into the room and crawling under the covers.

"Feel better?"

"Sort of."

"Right, well if you're going to throw up there is no point in having something for your head."

"I don't think I am going to throw up again."

"We'll test you with some food first."

She soon returned with some dry toast and some water as well as something for his head.

"Eat this first and sip the water, don't take big gulps." He managed to keep it down without throwing up and so took the tablets. Amy took the tray from him as he lay back on the bed. While he had been eating Amy had gone and gotten a wet towel again, and as he lay there she held it to his head.

"That's better."

"Shhh, go back to sleep now." She didn't need to ask any more than that, as his eyes were already drooping, and he was soon fast asleep. She stayed by his side, running her fingers through his hair slowly. She grew tired after a while and lay where she was sitting. Closing her eyes she sighed. She had stayed up all night caring for David and making sure that the kids were sleeping peacefully. Finally she had a chance to get some rest for herself.

* * *

Amy woke up to the sound of ringing. She groaned and tried to get up, but found it hard to move, she realised David had wrapped his arms around her while she had been asleep. He was completely out of it and in her effort to get to the phone she fell off the bed. 

"McClaren's residence."

"Hi, um, is David there?"

"Yes, but he's asleep right now. Can I take a message?"

"Um no, I'll just call back later."

"Can I say who is calling?"

"His mother-in-law."

"Ok, thank you. I will tell him you called."

"Goodbye."

"Bye." Amy walked back in to Davids room. He was laying right on the edge of the bed, about to fall off. She smiled, he looked just like a baby... a big baby. She tried to push him over on to the bed, but all he did was move over slightly. When she pushed him harder to fell onto him and he instinctly wrapped his arms around her, whilst rolling all the way over. Too tired to bother trying to get away, she settled down to sleep again, knowing that he would be loving this if he was conscious.

* * *

Four hours later, David woke up and found Amy in his arms. His head had stopped pounding, but he still felt slightly woozy. He tried to roll away from Amy, but she rolled with him. He smiled as he brushed her hair away from her face. He managed to slip his arm out from under her and he got up and watched her curl into a tight ball. He threw a blanket over her before going to make some coffee. He started to make some food when the phone rang, he quickly answered it, not wanting to wake Amy.

* * *

Amy uncurled on the bed and stretched. She sat up and closed her eyes as she took in the smell of a delicious meal being prepared. She slowly got off the bed and made her way to the kitchen. 

"Ah, so sleeping beauty awakes." Amy smiled as she went over to the counter to get some coffee. "Hey, don't worry about that," he held her by the hips, moving her round. "I'll make you some coffee."

"No, no, I can do it!" She moved around, noticing his hands still on her hips. "I don't need you to make it."

"No, you looked after me last night, now I will look after you this afternoon."

She tried to move him out of the way, but he was too strong. He started to tickle her to get her to move away. She squeeled and fell into his arms. He stopped tickling her as she stood back up, they held constant eye contact as he lowered his head to hers. His lips touched hers, in short, sweet kisses. When she didn't pull back, the kisses became deeper, slower and longer. As they became more passionate, Amy's knees buckled beneath her and David picked her up in his arms so that he was fully supporting her. He swung her round, placing her in the counter. His hands began to roam her body, as she caressed his chest.

"I... David..."

"What?" His lips had moved down to her neck, his tongue caressed her neck, as he waited for her to reply.

"We... I..."

"Yes?" He pulled his head back and looked at her.

"We need to talk, I... if you had done something this stupid I wouldn't even be here."

"I am so sorry for what I did, but I need you." Amy looked away, but David turned her to face him again, "I need you."

She closed her eyes trying to block everything out, but her heart spoke for her before she could stop it. "I love you so much, I can't take it any more. I missed you. I missed having you with me in my bed, I missed having you to talk to and I missed being able to kiss you. I really want you... I really..." David leant forward and stopped her speaking. "I..."

_"Stop speaking."_ They seemed to merge, not needing to breathe any more, holding each other close. Davids hands had settled on her hips as he concentrated on her mouth. Amy was stroking the hair on the back of his head with one hand as the other was holding on to his belt.

There was a knock at the door, and at first they ignored it but the person on the other side was persistant.

"I'll go get it." Amy jumped off the counter and started towards the door.

"No, we'll pretend we aren't here." He kissed her neck from behind.

"David, don't be stupid." The knocking got louder, as he held her. "David, come on." He walked with her to the door, they opened the door, but quickly slammed it shut again.

Standing on the lawn were several reporters and alot of pictures being taken. "The Danny Hawkins case must have been settled."

"What's your point?"

"They obviously found out I dropped it!"

"Ok,"

"And you are here, and you were the one who presided over the case."

"Only for a short while."

"They don't care about that. They will care about the fact that you're here with me, and you're the judge from a part of the trial, and I was the prosecuter from the case. They will think one of us corrupted the other."

"No they won't."

"Amy they will. One advantage of you being a judge though is that if we phone the police they will come quicker." Amy pulled a face before speaking.

"I'm going to have a shower. You phone them."

* * *

When Amy next walked into the family room there were three cops standing there. 

"Judge Gray, we need to make a statement to the press."

"What for?"

"They are here because you two are together."

"That doesn't make any sense. We made up today, but... we were together before that."

"Then you were lucky before."

"Why though? I've dated other people..."

"It's not because of you Judge Gray. It's because of..." He looked at David. "Because you murdered your wife."

"He didn't murder his wife." Amy said through clenched teeth.

"In their eyes he did. Now they know he has a new girl, they want to... see if he's gonna do anything to hurt you."

"That's sick." David walked up behind Amy, slipping his arms around her waist. "You don't have to say anything, they will deal with it."

"But why are they... I don't understand."

"Honey, I told you that you were the first person I've gone out with."

"But..."

"Judge Gray is your response no comment?"

"What? Yeah." Amy walked away from David into the kitchen. David hid behind the door as he opened it for the cops to leave.

"Thank you, bye." He closed the door and went after Amy. He found her with her face in her hands. "Honey, are you ok?"

"Yeah," she looked up at him. "Just overwhelmed." David pulled her into a hug.

"Don't worry about it. One thing I am confused about... where is your protection?"

"What?"

"The cop meant to be protecting you."

"He's not meant to blow his cover, so he wouldn't get involved in this kind of thing."

"Oh, that's dumb."

"Yeah." She looked up at him. "I'm glad we're back together though."

"Me too."

"You were kind of funny yesterday!"

"I was?"

"Yeah, you would be so embarassed if you knew what you did."

"Well I don't ever want to drink that much again."

"I won't let you."

"So what did I do?"

"Do you remember opening the door?"

"No, I don't actually remember much apart from you being there."

"Ok, well after I sent Lauren to Victors room..."

"You had them in the same room?"

"Only while I was dealing with you. Anyway, you asked me if the reason I was here was because I wanted a bit of action. Then when I took you to your room, you tried to pull me on the bed. And then when I came back from getting you some water you were sitting in your boxers, saying you were ready for me."

David looked away, as if deep in thought. "So how did you end up in bed with me?"

"Well, I stayed up all night with you. Then after calling in sick at work, and calling my mom, and taking the kids to school, I was knackered. So after you woke up and threw up etc, I fell asleep after making sure you were ok and settled. You were completely out of it, because the phone rang, waking me up and your arms were wrapped round me but you didn't wake up, and I fell off the bed trying to get up."

"But I woke up with you in my arms."

"Yes well... thats because after I came back from the phone, you looked like you were falling off the bed. I tried to push you back on the bed, but you just moved a little bit. So I pushed you harder, and then I fell on you. You wrapped your arms around me and rolled over with me. I was too tired to try and get away again. So I just... fell asleep."

"Yeah, yeah. You were just too tired."

"Hey, don't make fun of me."

"I'm not." He kissed her gently on the lips. "I'm just glad that my drunken self got you back."

"Hahaha," she looked up at him and smiled as she reached up, pulling his head down. "Me too. Now we have both been jerks."

"Hey,"

"Nice jerks." He lifted her up into a bear hug and she screamed playfully. She struggled to get away, when they heard the door being banged on, it burst open and they froze.

"Judge Gray, are you ok?" David released his grip on Amy as she walked out into the family room. Several flashes blinded her as the reporters leered into the house through the open door, with the police pointing guns at her.

_"Oh for gods sake."_ She went back into the kitchen. "You don't want to go in there."

"Why? What was that noise."

"The cops crashing through the door. With the reporters closly following them."

"What?"

"Yeah, as I said, you don't want to go through there." She picked up the phone.

"Who are you phoning?"

"My protection...duh." She laughed as David put on a sulky face.

"Sorry for asking!"

"He will get rid of them, and protect us from the others."

* * *

They were sitting on the couch watching tv. 

"How are you getting home?"

"I told my mom that I didn't know if I was going to be home tonight. So I think I should wait them out... what do you think?"

"Sounds like a plan." David grinned.

"Uhuh, you like that idea do you?" Amy sat up and kissed him on the cheek.

"Yeah, more alone time." She straddled him and they looked into each others eyes, faces almost touching. David reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear. She kissed him again. He held her head gently as they kissed until it became more passionate, his hands wondered down her body, resting on her hips. He played with the edge of her shirt before his hands slipped under it. He ran his fingers around the edge of her bra, and Amy became very aroused. She slowly began to grind her hips against his, soft moans escaping her lips. David pulled his head back, "are you ready? For this I mean. You aren't going to stop me..." Amy nodded slightly before inserting her tongue in his mouth. He slowly stood up holding her to him, they stopped kissing and looked longingly into each others eyes. He made his way to his bedroom, and as he lowered Amy, she smiled.

* * *

_Sometimes late at night,  
I lie awake and I watch her sleeping,  
She's lost in peaceful dreams,  
So I turn out the light.  
I lay there in the dark,  
And the thought crosses my mind,  
If I never wake in the morning,  
Would she ever doubt,  
The way I feel about her in my heart... _

If tomorrow never comes,  
Will she know how much I loved her?  
Did I try in every way?  
To show her everyday...  
She's my only one.

And if my time on earth were through,  
She must face this world without me.  
Is the Love I gave her in the past...  
Gonna be enough to last?  
If tomorrow never comes!

'Cos I've lost loved ones in my life,  
Who never knew how much I loved them.  
Now I live with no regret,  
The natural feelings for them  
Never will reveal

So I made a promise to myself  
Say each day how much she means to me  
And avoid that circumstance  
Where there's no second chance  
Tell her how I feel

If tomorrow never comes  
Will she know how much I loved her  
Did I try in every way  
To show her everyday  
She's my only one!

If my time on earth were through  
She must face this world without me  
Is the Love I gave her in the past  
Gonna be enough to last?  
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you Love,  
Just what you're thinkin of...  
If tomorrow never comes...

* * *

David woke up and looked over at Amy. She looked so peaceful, so happy and content. More than she had been in a long while, ever since he'd known her. The moonlight shining through the window made him think about all the things in his life that had changed. He rolled onto his back, the old was slowly been replaced by the new. Maybe replaced is the wrong word... more moved to the side, not forgotten but stored as a loving memory. 

_"I miss you Kelly." _He sighed, _"I miss you more than life itself, and I hope you forgive me, but I want to move on. I need to move on."_

He rolled back to Amy and wrapped his arms around her. Knowing what he had to do. Not just for Amy but for himself. Amy stirred slightly and he squeezed her and kissed her shoulder. "I love you Amy Madison Gray." She made no reply, so he closed his eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep.

* * *

David was first to wake again. He looked at Amy who had curled into a tight ball. Wishing he could sleep like she could, forget the past troubles and be in a peaceful place. He wrote a note and put it on the nightstand. Then he got in his car, stopping at a gas station to buy a couple of things before he continued to drive until all he could see was trees and fields, finally stopping by a field surrounded by trees. 

He got out of the car, and sat in the middle of the field. He had with him a single pink rose. He closed his eyes and thought of Kelly. How their life had been, the way she laughed, how she looked on their wedding day, how proud of Victor she had been when he took his first steps. Tears rolled down his cheeks in a steady flow. He felt a breeze picking up, making the trees sway, branches hitting each other like waves in the ocean. He opened his eyes as he spoke;

"Kelly, my dear wife. I loved you with all my heart and thought that I would spend all my life with you. But, you were taken, and so my dreams were shattered. I miss you and will always miss you, but I need to move on, for both mine and Victor's sake. When the anger left, all I felt was pain, and when that seemed to leave I was left with sadness. With a hole, nobody could fill... until now. Amy... she lights up what was made dark when you left. Please forgive me, as I let you go."

He felt the wind around him getting stonger as he peeled off one petal and released it watching it fly off in the wind. He carried on peeling off the petals releasing the last few together. His sobs were shaking him, "I love you Kelly, I loved you. Now it is time to say goodbye... you will always be in my heart and in my mind." He stood up, "goodbye." He wiped his tears and made his way back to the car. _"Goodbye."_

As he reached the car the wind died down, as if it had never been there and there was silence in the trees again. A single petal had found its way to the car, and lay there on the hood. David didn't notice it and as he drove away the petal floated sadly to the ground.

* * *

Amy rolled over expecting to see David, but he wasn't there. She noticed the note and picked it up; 

_I had to say goodbye to someone,  
__Be back soon  
__I love you_

_D xxx_

She smiled as she placed the note back on the nightstand. She decided to have a shower, but as she stood up she swayed. And decided on coffee first.

On her third cup of coffee she got up to go get a shower. But fell to the floor. Her vision went fuzzy, then flashbacks of Stu came fast and strong. She moaned as she held her head in her hands. She curled up into a tight ball, trying to protect herself from the visions. She rolled over in her effort to get away from them. "No, no, no. Stop it. Why is this happening to me? Why? Why?" They finally stopped and she stood up shaking. "What the hell was that?" She got in the shower and leant against the wall. The water was so hot it was scalding her, but she didn't notice. When she finally stopped shaking she got out of the shower. Wrapping a towel around herself she walked through into the bedroom. She felt exhausted, and as she sat on the bed tears sprang to her eyes. She lay back on the bed closing her eyes, she felt herself slipping away into a slumber.

David entered the house feeling lighter, he noticed the amount of coffee that had been drunk and went in search of Amy. "Amy, honey. Where are you?" He saw her on the bed, wrapped in a towel. He walked upto her. "Amy?" She didn't move, he touched her leg. "Amy, honey. Amy?" He shook her and she stirred slightly. "Amy, wake up honey." She moaned as her eyelids flickered. He sat next to her, and she slowly opened her eyes.

"Wh..." Her eyes closed again.

"Amy. Are you ok?" He asked concerned, he felt her forehead, but she didn't have a fever. She was a little pale and she looked exhausted.

Her eyes opened again. "I'm fine, just a little tired."

"I'm amazed you're not bouncing off the walls, the amount of coffee you drank. I don't understand."

"I just need to sleep."

"Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes. I'm fine, just let me sleep."

"Ok honey." Amy moved round on the bed and David covered her with a blanket. "I'll be back to check on you later." She fell asleep straight away and David looked at her concerned. But left her to sleep.

A few hours later he went back to the bedroom and she hadn't moved. He sat next to her and gently caressed her cheek. She stirred and went to sit up. "How long have I been asleep?"

"A couple of hours now."

"It doesn't feel like it!"

"I don't think you're ok. I mean you have slept most of the day."

"I know, I just I don't think there is anything wrong. I just haven't been sleeping much lately. Not being able to relax and stuff so I guess it's catching up with me. You can't burn the candle at both ends forever!"

"If you're sure."

"I am."

"It's just confusing that you can fall asleep as soon as you close your eyes, when you had the amount of coffee that you did."

"I was obviously extremely tired. Don't forget I had like 2 weeks with no sleep."

"I will never forget, I hardly slept." Amy moved towards David. "I do worry about you Amy."

"I know you do, and I love you for it." She kissed him and then sat back. "God I hate feeling tired." David didn't say anything. "Who did you go say goodbye to?"

"Huh?"

"Who did you go and say goodbye to?"

"Oh, um... Kelly."

"Oh," She looked away.

"I didn't want to carry on... without saying goodbye. I had her favourite flower; a pink rose." He looked at Amy. "Now I am fully ready to move on." Still she didn't look at him. He lifted her chin. "Hey, don't be sad. I will always love Kelly but she is gone. I love you Amy and now we are together." He gently kissed her. "You sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine... I should go home to Lauren."

"You sure you want to go home?" He ran a finger down her arm.

She smiled, "I have to. I have to go." He pulled her into a passionate embrace. "I have to go..."

"I'm sorry. After getting you back, I don't want to lose you so soon."

"I know... but I am exhausted."

"I thought you said you were ok."

"I am, but I am still tired. And what about Victor? He will be wanting to come home."

"I actually think that he would prefer to stay with you."

"What?"

"It would be his way of making sure we are together."

"Hmm, I'll be back in a minute." Amy got up out of Davids lap.

"I'll be taking a shower if you need me."

"Thanks." Amy walked into the living room still dressed only in a towel, and picked up her purse. Taking her cell phone out she saw she had two messages;

_'Hey mom, me and Victor are having a cool time here, if you don't want to come home tonight, cause you're making up with D. We'll see you like whenever.' _She smiled. Lauren was really growing up.

_'Hello Amy, I take it you and David have made up. Hope everything is ok. The kids and I are fine. Don't worry about calling home. We'll see you when we see you.' _Amy almost laughed through this message. Tact is something her mother seemed not to have.

She turned her cell off and placed in back in her purse. She went into the kitchen to make some more coffee, and as she was pouring herself a cup, two hands slipped round her waist.

"Hey, any more coffee and I think you will have to get some professional help."

"That's not funny, I need something to keep me awake."

"That's a bit insulting." Amy turned in his arms.

"You know I didn't mean that." She brought his lips to hers and whispered onto them, _"You could keep anybody awake for eternity."_ Their lips joined and Amy wrapped her arms around his neck. David played with the edge of the towel before slipping his hand inside it. They sensed flashing lights and pulled apart slightly. Looking in through the windows were several reporters. David turned his back on them to protect Amy from any more shots. He stepped sideways until he could get her out of the kitchen. They got into the bedroom, but there were reporters at those windows too. He took her into the bathroom and sighed in relief.

"What the hell is their problem?"

"You may have just made it worse though."

"What?"

"Bringing me here into the bathroom." David seemed to take a minute before realising what she was saying. "Ok, I'm going to get you your clothes, wait here." He ignored the flashes as he walked out of the bathroom. Grabbing her clothes he went back in. "I've got a plan, it might not work, but it's worth a try." Amy nodded and started to get dressed. "We are going to drive. Till I can lose them. Depending when and if we lose them, depends on where we stay tonight."

"Right, lets go."

They ran out of the house, and jumped into David's car. They sped off with the reporters still trying to get in their cars. David went through several side streets and double backed several times.

"Should I be worried that you know how to do this?"

"No, you should be happy I do." He managed to get to the Gray's without any sign of the reporters. Amy kissed him before high fiving him.

"Nice one." She laughed as they quickly walked upto the house. She knocked on the door and Maxine answered it.

"Amy we weren't expecting you back here..."

"Well there was an intervention."

"What?" Maxine stepped back to let them in.

"Reporters... they think David is going to..." Maxine nodded in understanding.

"You don't need to explain... how did you lose them?"

"David knows how to drive really fast." She laughed at David, who suddenly looked embarressed.

"Yes, well I don't need to hear that kind of thing about the people my daughter is dating." Maxine walked away as Amy pulled David to her.

"I love you, and I hate anybody who tries to stop that." There was some noise upstairs and as they looked up they saw Lauren and Victor running towards them.

"Mom! You're home." Both of them wrapped their arms around Amy, pushing David out the way.

"Hey you two, feeling a bit left out here." David stood pretending to look angry. They turned to him and hugged him too.

"Well, this is nice. Maybe we should go away more often." David smiled at Amy.

"Why are you here any way Dad, we left a message on Mom's phone saying we were cool with you staying out."

"Um some reporters were making life hard." Amy quickly said. "Now, who wants to have some ice-cream?" Both Lauren and Victor ran into the kitchen screaming. Amy and David followed at a much slower pace, holding hands.

_"I wish those reporters hadn't been there."_

_"Hmm."_

_"Cuz you looked very sexy in my towel." _Amy smiled at him.

_"Good things are worth the wait."_ David went to reply but they entered the kitchen.

"Dad, we have this thing all worked out. We think that you two should go on holiday, just the two of you."

"Why do you think that huh?"

"Well, you'd be away from reporters. It's what celebs do." Amy smiled at Lauren, trust her to find the need to mention celebrities.

"Well we can't really take the time off work Victor."

"Can't you just call in sick?"

"Done that already. Besides they won't believe us."

"Why?"

"Because if both me and Amy call in sick on the same day they will know that we aren't sick."

"How? Are they psychic?"

"Yes."

"Whatever."

"Don't whatever me Victor. Now do you want ice-cream or not?"

"Sorry dad, and yes please."

"Well get the tub out of the freezer."

David and Amy sat at the kitchen table and watched both of the kids scooping out the ice-cream into some bowls.

"Can we go eat it in the den?" Victor asked.

"No," David quickly responded.

Lauren looked at Amy. "David, if they're careful they can. I let Lauren eat in there." David nodded at Victor as he and Lauren disappeared.

"Sorry, I should have let you answer."

"It's ok, you have your rules and I have my rules." She smiled as he looked at her, and thats how they sat for several minutes.

"Do you want some ice-cream?"

"No, I don't feel like anything, thanks. You can have some though."

"Do you want to go to bed?"

"What?"

"Are you still tired?"

"No. I'm fine I just don't want any ice-cream." Amy lied.

"If you're sure."

"I am, stop worrying." She stood up and walked to the back door. "I'm going out for some air." David watched her leave, not really in the mood for ice-cream anymore.

He got up and went to the den. He could hear whispering and walked in. The screen was quickly turned off, and Victor stood in front of it.

"Dad. What are you doing in here?"

"And what do you think you are doing?"

"Nothing, we were, we were doing homework."

"On a sunday?"

"Yeah, what's your point?"

"Let me see the screen." He stepped towards the computer.

"Why?"

"Let me see it now!"

"I... it's... mom never makes me show her."

"Lauren if you don't show me the screen now..."

"You'll what?"

"You'll be grounded."

"Yeah right. You can't do that."

"I can and I will."

"No you can't... where's mom?"

"Getting some air."

"That's not fair, it's not even that important."

"Well than you won't mind me seeing it."

"I didn't mean that." David stepped upto the screen and reached to turn it on. Lauren kicked out the power cable.

"Right, both of you. You're grounded."

"What? No, you can't do that, mom won't let you."

_"L, shut it. Do you want to have your allowance taken as well?"_ Lauren turned pink and looked away.

"Well, I think one week is long enough. Don't you?" Both Lauren and Victor nodded. "Oh and no computer, unless you are supervised and it has to be homework, no chatting or messing about." Lauren went to say something but stopped when she saw Victor's face. "Right, now into the family room. You aren't banned from tv yet, although that's only because I don't want to have to deal with you two moping about with nothing to do. Move it!"

David sighed, he could have handled the situation slightly better. But he was preoccupied with the way Amy was acting. There was something wrong and she wasn't telling him anything. He decided she had had long enough to cool off and headed towards the kitchen and out into the yard. She was sitting on the swing, and slowly pushing off the ground with her foot.

"Amy, do you want to be alone?"

She looked up, "no, you can sit with me if you want."

He walked over to the swing and sat down. Amy moved round so that she was leaning against him.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"A little bit." David stroked her hair away from her face, playing with her curls. "I'm still feeling tired though."

"You should get some more sleep, you need to keep your strength up."

"I do huh?" She turned slightly so she could face him. "Why would that be?" She leant forward so that her face was right next to his. David smiled and went to kiss her, but she placed a finger on his chin. "Not until you answer me."

"I love you and want you in every way." Amy grinned and kissed his nose.

"Thats sweet." She still had her finger on his chin. "Very sweet." She kissed both of his cheeks, then down the side of his neck. Moving back up to his ear where she lightly bit it. David wrapped his arms around her pulling her round into his lap so that she was no longer in control. He kissed her full on the lips, slipping his tongue in. Amy kissed back, enjoying the moment. They kissed for a long while, before finally moving apart.

"I have something to confess."

"What?"

"I grounded the kids and banned both of them from the computer. Unless it is homework, and even then they have to be supervised."

"Ok, what did they do?"

"They were in the den whispering, and when I went in they turned off the screen. They refused to let me see it, then when I managed to get to the screen Lauren kicked out the power cable."

"Wow, wonder what was worth hiding that much."

"So you aren't mad at me for grounding Lauren?"

"No, you couldn't ground Victor without grounding Lauren. Besides she is the one who kicked out the power cable."

"She's going to hate me again now."

"She'll get over it."

"I don't want her to have to get over it. I want her to like me... like..."

"Like Victor likes me?"

"Well yeah. It's not fair that he gets to call you mom and let you comfort him even if I'm there."

"Girls are harder." David looked away. "Awww, come on. She does like you."

"Not after I grounded her. She kept saying that I couldn't do it.I'm just glad that she didn't say I couldn't do it because I wasn't her father."

"That would have hurt you, and she knows that. Did you not think that that was why she didn't say it. Because she didn't want to hurt you?"

"I didn't think of that." Amy stood up, "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to have a shower and then go to bed, we have work in the morning." David pulled a face. "You have to go."

"I know, I just don't want to!" David got up. "It means I have to spend time away from you."

"Well, you can always come work in my chambers again."

"Don't you have to be in court?" He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

"Yeah, but I don't spend all day in court, we would be together while I do paperwork. And then of course there is lunch... we can have that together."

"Stop trying to make work appealing. The only thing I want to think of thats appealing is spending time with you in my arms."

"I could be in your arms in my chambers."

His right hand had strayed and was under her shirt, playing with the back of her bra. As he spoke he caressed her neck with his tongue and lips. "But I wouldn't be able to..." He stopped as the back door opened.

"Mom, it's not fair... oh... **you're** here." Lauren turned back into house letting the door slam behind her.

"See she hates me."

"She acts that way with me after I punish her aswell. It's nothing personal." She caressed his cheek, trying to comfort him. "Besides, it's me you should be worrying about."

"You told me not to worry about you."

"No, I mean worry about keeping me in a good mood." A hint of a grin appeared on his lips. "Now where were we before we got so rudely interrupted?" David lowered his head to her neck again. "Ah, that's right."

* * *

Maxine was surprised to find Lauren and Victor in the family room watching the news. 

"Is there something I'm missing?"

"No." Lauren said bluntly.

"Why are you watching the news?"

"There's nothing else on."

"Isn't this high chat time?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you in here, watching something you don't want to watch and not in the den chatting on the computer?"

"We're grounded."

"Ok, so whats that got to do with the computer."

"Banned, unless we are supervised and it is homework."

"That's a harsh punishment."

"Don't tell us that. We know, the only reason we're allowed to watch tv, is because then we are out of the way."

"Do you want me to speak to Amy for you?"

"It wasn't mom."

"Who was it."

"Mr McClaren."

"Oh I see. Well this is mine and your moms house. So we make the rules."

"Well I'm sure mom is going to support his decision. I went to tell her, and he was with her. He has an advantage over us."

"What's that?" Lauren gave her, it's so obvious look. "Where are they?"

"Out in the yard... talking."

"Oh I see, ok well I'm going to be in the kitchen if you need me. Tell me if anything interesting comes on the news... ok?"

"Like what?"

"Something that could affect us, you know a really bad storm coming, local robberies. Something like that."

"Ok."

Maxine walked into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee.

Lauren and Victor were talking and not paying that much attention to the news till they heard a name that was extremely familiar.

"Grandma, do family members count?" Maxine walked into the family room.

"Do family members count for what?"

"Being on the news."

"What?" She looked at the screen and waited for the story to start.

_"And in Hartford a Judge is dating a suspected murderer, a lawyer and family man; David McClaren. Two years ago Kelly McClaren was brutally murdered in her home, and the main suspect was her husband. Who had been working late but had no alibi. He was cleared with DNA evidence, but the murderer is still on the loose and McClaren is still the main suspect. Today he has moved on with a Judge Gray, who looks extremely scared of him."_

Still pictures of David holding Amy in the air, one with Amy in a towel with a shocked look on her face, David dragging her out of the kitchen, taking her in the bathroom, dragging her out of the house and into her car, and one with the car screeching off.

Film rolling as the news reporter carried on speaking;

_"Screams were heard coming from the McClaren residence and police broke in the front door, to see McClaren restraining the Judge. She insisted she was not hurt and that everything was fine. The police were than kindly asked to leave by the Judge's private detective. If there is nothing wrong, why would she have her own detective? What is going wrong with our judicional system today, Judge's dating murderers... what next?"_

Maxine had gone pale, and was clencing her fists together. She looked at Lauren and Victor and saw they were both frozen. Victor was the first to move.

"My dad, he didn't. He told me he didn't. He didn't. He..."

"Victor it's ok. It's just some stupid story that they needed to fill a gap in their time slot. Don't believe everything that you read or see."

"But, they said, they said, and he said and I he..."

"Victor, trust me. If he had done it he wouldn't have been cleared. Family members are always the main suspects."

Lauren finally spoke up. "I can't believe mom is dating a..."

"Lauren, you say what you are about to say and I will ban you from the tv aswell. And don't forget your allowance can be stopped just as easily."

"WHY IS EVERYONE PICKING ON ME?" She stormed up to her room. Making sure that the door slammed as loudly as it could.

"Victor don't worry. I'm sure your dad had nothing to do with your mom's death."

"But you don't know for sure."

"Nobody apart from your dad knows that, and of course the killer."

"Could the killer come back then?"

"Um..." Not sure how to answer the question without lying or making him scared.

"Cause I don't want both my mom's to get hurt."

She normally hated the way that Amy built up Laurens hopes and dreams by lying to her and making promises that she couldn't possibly know that she could keep. But on this occasion she thought that it was a just cause. "I'm sure he will be caught soon, and then we will all be safe. He won't get to Amy, so don't worry about that."

"Promise?"

"Promise." Victor gave her hug before announcing that he was going to bed.

* * *

"Come on... we should... we... we... we... should..." Amy tried to get her mind to focus so she could speak, but David was making her weak at the knees with what he was doing. "We should... D...david..." He stopped. 

"Yes?"

"We should... go back inside, if we carry on for... for much longer I will not be able to control my actions, and that would be dangerous."

"Why would that be dangerous?"

"There may be reporters around."

"I don't care." Amy laughed as she pushed him away.

"No, don't. We should go inside, David stop it." Amy twisted out of his reach. "No, stop it." She ran round to the side of the house hiding behind a bush. David chased after her and grabbed her when he got to her.

"You can't hide very well."

"I wasn't trying very hard." Amy was still laughing. David lifted her into his arms and kissed her to stop her laughing.

Somebody cleared their throat and they stopped what they were doing and looked around them.

"Would either of you like to comment the relationship between Judges and law breakers?" David lowered Amy to the ground.

"Get off my property now."

"Judge Gray, you've made quite a name for yourself. Come now, give me a few comments."

"Get away from me and my family."

"David McClaren what about you?" David stepped in front of Amy and towards the reporter.

"You heard the lady... get away from here."

"Or what? You're gonna kill me?"

"Get away now... and I did **not** kill my wife."

"David, come on lets go." Amy grabbed his hand and dragged him round to the back door. The reporter didn't follow them and they sighed as they walked in the door. "Why can't they just leave us alone?"

"They will do, it will just take a while... they did a similar thing when they found out I had a son. Don't worry, they will get bored after a while because there is no story."

"I don't want them to get bored, I just want them to leave you alone, to leave us alone."

Maxine walked into the kitchen, "Amy, have you seen the news?"

"Ma when exactly would I have watched the news?"

"Well you two were on it." She smiled at Amy. "You know you really shouldn't walk around the house kissing guys when all you're wearing is a towel Amy... especially when you have an audience."

"That's not funny ma."

"Really?" She chuckled.

"I'm serious."

"Yes you are!"

Amy buried her face in David's chest. "This is just not happening. Nobody is going to take me seriously in court. I worked so hard for their respect, and I already lost it once."

"Hey, hey. Don't be like that, everything will be fine. Just tell me who is nasty to you and I'll go beat them up for you." Amy looked up at him and smiled. "That's better."

"Thank you, that's sweet."

"You two... there were two kids watching the news in the other room. They saw it too. They saw everything. They heard everything that was said."

"What was said ma?"

"It took forever to get them to come back down and wait for you."

"What was said ma?"

"They were calling David a... murderer." David turned pale and ran out of the kitchen into the living room. _"Amy... you really do pick them." _

"Ma, don't. I don't need you giving me a stupid lecture. About something I already know, and have been told before."

"Amy, I just don't want you getting hurt."

"Then support me ma, don't put me down all the time. I'm sorry I don't live up to your standards sometimes, but you don't understand everything that I have been through."

She left in search of David. He was sitting on his own with his head in his hands on the couch. "Where are the kids?"

"They ran away."

"They what?" She sat next to him.

"They ran away... from me." He looked up at her. She pulled him into her arms as he was overwhelmed with sobs.

"It's ok honey. Shhh, I will go speak to them. Calm down."

"My own son is scared of me... I did nothing wrong, I did nothing wrong."

"Shhh, he just doesn't understand. He just doesn't know what to believe. Come now, you get ready for bed and I'll go speak to them." She stood up bringing David to his feet. Taking his hand she walked up the stairs. _"I'll make it all better. Come now, come and I will look after you tonight."_ David was slowly calming down and he looked at Amy as she stood by Victors door. _"Go, I will be back in a minute." _David watched as she knocked and entered. His heart ached as he thought of the fear that had crossed Victor and Laurens faces as he had entered the family room. The way they had clung to each other as they slowly backed out of the room. The speed at which they had run up the stairs. He did as he was told and went and got ready for bed. Hoping that Amy would be able to sort everything out.

* * *

Victor was holding a baseball bat in front of him, standing in front of Lauren who was in the far corner of the room, crouching down. When Victor saw it was Amy he ran over to her dropping the bat. Amy wrapped her arms around him and waited for Lauren to come over so she could hug them both. 

"Now what was up with the bat?"

"To protect us."

"What from?"

"A murderer."

"No murderer is in the house, the alarm will go off if they try and get in."

"They are already here. Waiting. Killed my mom."

"Well your dad will deal with them."

"I have no dad."

"Victor don't be stupid. Your dad didn't kill your mom. Some bad person did."

"You don't know that, you weren't there."

"And neither were you Victor. You can't just say something like that if you haven't seen it for yourself or you don't have all the evidence."

"But they said on tv, on the news. It has to be true." Lauren jumped in.

"No it doesn't. A similar thing happened when they found out that you were around Victor. They thought it was a big story, a suspected murderer having a son living with him."

"But, he didn't hurt me."

"And he's not going to hurt me. If I believed he was going to hurt you, Lauren or me. Do you think I would be with him?"

"No."

"Well then."

"But..."

"No buts, now get ready for bed and I will come tuck you in."

Amy left Victors room and headed for her own. She found David sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Honey, they were a bit confused. But I think I sorted it all out." He looked up at her.

"Really? They don't think I did it anymore."

"I don't think they do... I'd leave it till morning though before you speak to either of them." She sat next to him.

"All of this is why I moved away from Greenwich. I didn't want to have Victor living with all this."

"Honey, it will go away. Don't worry about all this. We will all be able to get on with our lives, but it may take a while. Now they have those photos they will just keep using the same ones over and over. So we can relax a little."

"I don't want to have to think about anything, about what I do and where I go. I just want to be free again."

"And you will be David."

"They spoiled our moment."

"What?"

"We were together, we made love and were building up to that again and they spoiled that. It's taken so long for you to be able to let me touch you like that after what happened and they ruined it." Amy put her arms around him.

"Look honey, don't worry about that."

"But we can't really here and... I hate reporters."

"Me too... well some of them."

"What do you mean?"

"Well my brother was one for a while."

"Oh."

"You knew that!" Amy kissed his cheek. "Come on, you need to relax. When you and me are together you don't have to worry about anything else."

"You know we could take a shower together again." Amy smiled.

"We have to wait until the kids are asleep... at least in bed." She got up and walked to the door. "I'm gonna go check."

Amy went into Laurens room, she was sitting on her bed reading. "Wow you can actually read." She sat on the edge of the bed.

"Very funny."

"What are you reading?"

"Nothing, just something for school."

"Not homework I hope."

"No." She lied, throwing the book off the bed.

"Well, time for you to sleep."

"I can't sleep."

"Well lock all your doors. And listen to some music with your headphones or something." She kissed her on the forehead and stood up. "Night noodle."

"Night mom."

Amy turned the light out and went to Victors room. She tried the door but found it locked. "Victor honey. It's me. Do you want me to tuck you in?" She heard the lock being turned and the door creaked open.

"Dad isn't with you is he?"

"No..." The door opened wider and Victor walked away from it.

"Good, cause I don't want him near me."

"Victor I thought we spoke about this. Your dad had nothing to do with your mom's death. Apart from working late when he could have been home."

"He should have been there to protect her."

"Well he wasn't Victor, don't you think he knows all this. Think of the guilt he must be feeling. He could have even taken his work home with him but he didn't. You can't just think of what he should have done. You have to think of what he did do."

"But I'm scared."

"Of what? Nothing has changed, you just saw some pictures of me and him and the news guy yapping on air. Your dad hasn't changed."

"I know, but he was... I don't know." Amy hugged him and kissed the top of his head.

"Now go to sleep."

"If I have a nightmare who will come?"

"I will, but you will have to leave your door unlocked if you want me to be able to get in." Victor looked thoughtful before he nodded.

"Ok." Amy flicked his light switch and closed his door. She went back to her room and stood in the door way.

"Ready?" David jumped up and walked over to her.

_"Always!"_ He whispered in her ear. He sucked gently on her earlobe but stopped when he felt Amy's hand on his chest.

"We won't get to the shower if you do that here." She turned towards the bathroom taking his hand. As she turned the shower on he turned the lock on the door.

* * *

Alot of time had passed, and when they reached the bedroom they saw that it was nearly midnight. "Wow... that was a long shower." 

"But very worth it."

"Definitely." They got into bed and David pulled Amy closer.

"Very worth it." The kiss they then shared was a long deep one. David's hands were roaming down her body.

"MOM... MOM." They stopped kissing but their lips stayed together. David's hand came to a rest on Amy's thigh. "MOM...MOM."

"I guess I should go get that."

"I guess you should." David moved back and sat up. Reluctantly, Amy got up off the bed. She entered Victors room and found him sobbing on his bed.

"What's up honey?"

"I had a nightmare." Amy sat on the bed in front of him.

"You don't normally call out. In fact you're usually asleep when you have one, and either me or your dad has to wake you." She pulled him into a hug and rubbed his back. "Do you want to tell me what it was about?"

"Dad, he... he... he hurt you." Amy stopped rubbing his back and pushed Victor back so she could look at his face.

"I told you, your father is not going to hurt you, me or Lauren."

"But he did... in my dream."

"But that's all it was. A dream, a nasty one yes, but still a dream. Now go back to sleep." Victor lay down and closed his eyes. Amy gently stroked his hair back from his face until he fell asleep. She turned the light off again and went back to David.

"Is he ok?"

"Yeah, just a bad dream that's all." She sat on the side of the bed, and David moved over to her.

"Are you ok?" He placed a hand on the small of her back. She turned to him and kissed his lips. She placed her hand on his shoulder pushing him back on the bed and as she did so she moved her body over him, so she was sitting on him. David was kissing back with great enthusiasm, resting his hands on her hips. Amy began to grind her hips against him and moaned as they kissed. David pulled back from the kiss. "Are you sure you're ok, I mean, well, you, they will hear us if you carry on." Amy didn't reply just leant back into kiss him. He pushed her back again. "Amy, will you answer me." She sat back on him.

"Why?"

"Because I want you to answer my question, what's wrong about that?"

"I am fine."

"Then why didn't you answer me?"

"Nothing I just want to forget."

"Forget what? You can't just use me to forget things, especially if you don't tell me what it is you are trying to forget."

"Just that Victor had a nightmare."

"What was it?"

"You... hurting me."

"I would never hurt you... not intentially."

"I know that, but I don't want to have to think about that. And Victor made me think about it. I trust you but it is hard when all I can think of is that you can hurt me."

"Amy..."

"I know you won't or at least I think I know you won't but still, it's now there in the back of my mind. I wanted to forget about it because I don't want to be thinking about it. I don't want to think about you in that role."

"Oh honey. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have got you to tell me." He raised a hand to her cheek.

"Well to be honest I still couldn't forget." David stroked her hair back. "I lo... love it when... when you do... do the ear... thing."

"MOM, MOM." Amy sat back. She covered her face in her hands.

"This is ridiculous." She got up and went into Laurens room. "Noodle, you always come in my room, why are you calling me?"

"I didn't want to go in with him there."

"Lauren..." Amy sighed and sat on the bed. "You need your sleep you have school in the morning and I have work."

"Can you stay with me."

"Only till you go to sleep."

"No stay with me, I don't want to be left unprotected."

_"Mom."_ A quiet voice called from the door. Amy looked up.

"Victor honey. What's wrong now?"

"I can't stay asleep. I keep waking up."

"Come here. Move over Lauren." Victor sat on the bed and leaned into Amy, Lauren wrapped her arms around her waist. "Now go to sleep. Both of you." She watched as they closed their eyes and sighed when their breathing slowed. David appeared in the doorway.

"I thought you were taking a long while."

"They refused to sleep alone."

"Come here, I'll help you move them to your bed. There will be more room and than you can get some sleep too."

"Thanks." Amy loosened Laurens grip, and went to pick her up, but foung her too heavy. David struggled with Victor but managed, and then came back for Lauren when they were all in Amy's bedroom safely, Amy turned to David. "Where are you going to sleep?"

"Victors room I suppose."

"Ok, I will see you in the morning." She reached up to give him a quick kiss, but it turned into a long deep one. David picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. As they paused for breath Amy sucked on his lower lip. Lightly biting it as she pulled back. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I wish that shower had never ended."

"Mmmm, that would have been nice."

"The kids are asleep now, they think that I am with them."

"That's a nice thought honey, but if they wake up... we'll just have to wait a while." Amy looked away, she hated what was happening with the kids.

"I don't want to have to wait, we have work tomorrow and that means that I have to concentrate."

"I know baby." Amy went to kiss him again but he moved his head out of the way. "Goodnight baby." He kissed her forehead then lowered her to the ground.

"I love you..." She caressed his cheek, "so much."

"I love you too baby." He walked out of her room, leaving Amy with the kids.

_"I hate this."_ Amy climbed into her bed and slowly drifted off into a deep sleep.

* * *

"David, you're up early." Maxine walked into the kitchen to find David dressed for work and cooking breakfast. 

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Nope the bed wasn't very comfy."

"Yet you've been sleeping fine on it recently. Did you and Amy have another fight?"

"No, I mean last night the kids refused to sleep without Amy being with them, so I slept in Victors bed. They slept with her."

"Why..."

"The news report. Victor blames me. They're both scared of me." David kept his eyes focussed on the eggs as he spoke. Not wanting to look Maxine in the eye.

"Oh for heavens sake. They should know by now not to believe everything that is on tv!"

"But yet they do. Victor took a baseball bat to bed with him." David looked up to see Maxines reaction.

"I'm sorry that this had to happen now David. Just as everything seemed to be working out."

He cleared his throat. "How do you want your eggs?"

"Doesn't bother me, breakfast always tastes better when someone else cooks it."

"Yeah, ok."


	36. As Luck Would Have It

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 36: As Luck Would Have It**

Both Amy and David had managed to persuade Lauren and Victor that everything was fine and they had nothing to worry about. They were still slightly wary but were happy to be alone in the same room with him. Lauren had carried on calling David 'D' and Amy had a strong suspision it was short for dad not David.

Michael had seen the story on the news and had arrived back in town, swooping Lauren away, to keep her out of it, and Victor was staying with Kelly's mother.

"Honey, where is my blue shirt?"

"I don't know, but it's a saturday. Why don't you wear a t-shirt?"

"I can't, I have to go into the office."

"What? Why? Both the kids are away this weekend. Why today?"

"Today, because I have a nasty boss."

"Can't you just go in wearing anything. He can't expect you to wear a shirt on a saturday."

"Unfortunately, I do. We are meeting a client."

"You know I once signed a warrent in an 18th century dress."

"You did? Was it a dare?"

"No, I was on a field trip thing with Lauren and we were the servants."

"I see, so did you like have mud on your face, and smell of pigs?"

"No!" She threw a pillow at him. "But everyone was laughing at me."

"I can imagine." He went back into the closet. "Ah, here it is. Damn, it's got a stain on it."

"Just wear another one."

"I wanted to wear this one."

"Why? Is there something majorly speacial about it?"

"Yeah, it's my lucky shirt."

"How can you have a lucky shirt?"

"Everytime I've worn it in court I have won."

"But you don't wear it everytime."

"Well, I've won in other shirts too."

"So basically, you never lost while wearing it."

"Yeah, fine be specific."

"Well why do you need it today. You're not going to court."

"I know, but I wanted to get home as soon as I could so that I could be with that special someone."

"Oh, and who is that special someone?"

"Well I was thinking of the girl next door." Another pillow was launched across the room and hit David round the head.

"Hey! That was just so uncalled for." He ran and jumped on her, holding her down on the bed, and all Amy could do was laugh.

"You sure you have to go to work?"

"Unfortunately yes." He moved his face down closer to hers, brushing her lips with his.

"Are you very sure?" She sucked on his bottom lip. David reluctantly pulled back.

"That isn't fair." He got off of her, gave her a quick kiss and moved to the door so she couldn't retaliate . "You can have whatever food you can find. I'll call you to tell you when to expect me back."

"Ok, speak to you soon I hope."

"Bye." With that he was gone and Amy lay back on the bed. The past few weeks had been stressful. Michael had insisted on taking Lauren away because of the press and she hadn't heard from either of them. She tried not to worry about this because she knew if Michael tried to keep her, he would have a big fight on his hands, not just from her but from Lauren too. The reporters had finally gotten bored and left them alone. Meaning that her and David would finally get some time to be together....alone. But now he had to go to work. It wasn't even like they had last night alone either. They had to stay for the family meal and had many questions fired at them from Gillian who wanted to know if she could plan the wedding. Amy had spent the entire evening wondering what wedding, until she realised that Gillian was talking about her wedding. Which didn't even exist yet. When they had finally arrived back at David's, they had been too exhausted to do anything but sleep.

* * *

"Can I look at that one please." David was in a jewellery shop browsing around looking for the perfect something for Amy. 

"This one sir?"

"Yes, hmmm." David considered it but shook his head. "Not quite right?"

"Is there anything in particular you were after?" The clerk asked.

"Um, well in your catalogue I saw something that was perfect but you don't seem to have it here."

"Do you have the catalogue with you sir?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do." He reached into his briefcase and pulled it out. Several items were circled, one in particular had several rings around it in bright red. "Here it is."

"Ah, I see the problem sir. This was last seasons catalogue....was this the item in question?" He pointed to the item with multiple circles around it.

"Yes." David looked downheartened.

"Well as luck would have it, we have one left in stock." He went out the back and returned shortly handing it to David.

"It's perfect!" His face lit up and he placed it onto the counter. "How much?"

"As it is last seasons.... I can offer you a discounted price."

"Thank you, can you wrap it for me as well?"

"Certainly sir."

* * *

Amy sat at the kitchen table. She had managed to clean the entire kitchen, and it shone. She looked at the clock. Damn it. Time always went slowly when you were waiting for something or as in this case, someone. 

She pushed back her chair and stood up. "Well the living room could do with a clean." She reluctantly entered the living room and started to tidy the magazines.

* * *

David patted his pocket as he headed for the courthouse. He wanted to pick up a few files so that he could pretend that he really had been at work. He grabbed his cell out of his pocket and dialed Abner's number. 

"Hey."

"Ok it's the weekend what's wrong?"

"Nothing, just if Amy asks, we were working today."

"Why?"

"We had an annoying client who insisted on seeing us."

"No why are you lying to Amy? Where were you really?"

"I was out buying her something."

"No really, I won't tell her."

"Really."

"Ok, if you don't want me to know...."

"Really Abner."

"Fine." David hung up, and dialled Maxine.

"Maxine?"

"Yes, speaking."

"Everything is sorted."

"Good, well good luck with the rest of your plans."

"Thank you."

"Speak to you soon."

"Will do, and thank you again."

"No problem."

David then dialed home.

"Amy?"

"Finally, you've been gone for ages. When are you coming home?"

"Soon."

"When is soon?"

"I just have to sort some files and then I will be coming home."

"I though you were with a client."

"We were, but Abner wanted me to do some filing."

"Remind me to have a word with him."

"Sure honey. I have to go now, love you."

"Love you too." Amy placed the phone back in its holder and looked around the room. It was now as clean as the kitchen. She headed for the bathroom, and got to work. Knowing how long paperwork can take.

* * *

"Amy I'm...." David looked around the family room. It was spotless and alot cleaner than he had ever seen it. He looked in the kitchen and saw that it too was spotless."Amy, where are you?" He walked into the bedroom and then held his breath as he entered the bathroom. He saw her scrubing away at the bath, while wearing headphones. He started his heart again before walking over to her. "Amy?" He placed a hand on her shoulder. She fell back in shock, but then smiled. She took the headphones off and stood up. 

"Finally you're home."

"What is going on?"

"I got bored. It kinda needed a clean, so I thought I would be useful."

"You didn't have too."

"I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to. It kept me busy. But now you're back, and you can keep me busy."

"Well I thought I would cook us lunch. You haven't eaten yet have you?"

"No.... just don't mess up the kitchen. I'll finish up here, then I need a shower. Cleaning is hard work!"

"Ok, honey." He kissed her quickly and then walked out of the bathroom. He heard her scrubbing again and he hurridly got to work. He had brought home a take-away so he would have more time to prepare, and he was glad that she had something to do to keep her busy and out of the way. He collected all the candles he could find and placed them around the kitchen. He set out some plates on the table before lighting the candles. He then went to put on some music and began to prepare the food for eating, so he could at least pretend that he had made it.

* * *

Amy quickly finished up her cleaning before climbing in the shower. She wished she hadn't started the bathroom because she could be with David right now if it wasn't for this. She sighed and stepped into a towel wrapping it around her. She could smell something burning and ran to the kitchen. David blocked the doorway with the door closed behind him. 

"Something is burning?"

"No, no, everything is fine."

"You better not have messed up my clean kitchen."

"Oh so it's your kitchen now?"

"Yes, it is. Whoever cleans it owns it."

"Didn't your mom tell you not to walk around the house in a towel?"

"Hahaha, stop trying to change the subject. What was burning?"

"Um, some things. But it is alright."

"I'll be the judge of that."

"How are you going to be the judge of that?"

"I am...." She started towards the door leading into the kitchen.

"No, you can't go in there."

"And why not?"

"Because you'll spoil my...."

"I'll spoil what?"

"Nothing."

"David?"

"Yes?"

"Tell me what is going on."

"No, it's a surprise."

"Fine." Amy stormed off to the bedroom and slammed the door. David quickly followed and tried to open the door but it was locked.

"Honey, come out."

"No, I am getting dressed."

"Honey. I'm sorry but I really do have a surprise for you, I just didn't want you to see."

"So why didn't you just tell me what was burning."

"Because it is part of your surprise."

"My surprise was burning?"

"No, something else was, but by telling you what was burning you would figure out part of your surprise."

The door opened, Amy stood in her underwear. "You promise you were telling the truth."

"Would I lie to you?"

"I don't know?"

"Amy." She started to close the door again. "No I wouldn't, I was telling the truth."

"Promise?"

"Yes." David breathed a sigh of relief as she opened the door again. She stepped towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You know what is great about this weekend?"

"No, what?"

"No kids, no parents, just us. Together, alone. Being able to do what we want and when." Amy smiled.

"Uhuh." He lowered his head and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her. "But you really should get dressed or we will be so busy you won't get your surprise."

"I don't know if I want to get my surprise I am quite happy with just you."

"Just me huh?"

"Yes." She reached up to kiss him but he pulled away.

"Well I want to give you your present so you will have to wait for.... me." Amy smiled before going back into the bedroom and closing the door.

* * *

"Close your eyes." 

"Why?"

"Because I want you to, trust me it will be worth it." Amy did as she was asked and smiled as David placed his hands on her hips and led her into the kitchen. She let him lead her to a chair and seat her. "You can open them now."

"Wow." She looked around the room and her face lit up. The blinds were drawn and the room was covered in many candles and their flames danced to the romantic music playing in the background. She looked down at her plate and saw some food on her plate. "So what was burning? Apart from the candles?"

"A box."

"A box?"

"The box the food came in." He replied sheepishly as he poured out some wine into her glass.

"I see. I wondered how you managed to cook, clean, lay the table and light all the candles."

"You don't think I could do that?"

"No?" She laughed at the hurt look on his face. "So what is my surprise?"

"You will have to wait for that."

"You mean I have to wait even longer."

"Yes."

"How long?"

"Just forget about it and eat your meal before it gets cold."

"Fine." Amy smiled at him as she picked up her fork, she looked at him seductively as she placed the fork in her mouth. David felt a shiver go down his spine and he hoped that she loved what he had bought for her.

* * *

The meal was over and the candles had burnt down to the quick. Amy was in David's arms as they danced slowly to the music, "So when do I get my surprise Romeo?" 

"In a minute Juliette." Amy smiled and laid her head on his shoulder.

"So, was your day really that boring that you had to clean?"

"No, I just wanted you."

"You wanted me?" Amy looked up at David. She smiled at him before resting her head back down again. "You won't get your surprise till you answer me...." he said playfully.

She looked up into his eyes. "Yes, I wanted you. I wanted to be in your arms, I wanted...." David cut her off, placing his lips on hers. Her knees became weak with pleasure and she leant into him for support. Suddenly he stepped back and she fell forward. "What...?"

"Your surprise." He supported her till he felt she could stand on her own and she held her breath as he moved away. David moved over to the sink and reached into the drawer beside it. Amy stepped forward towards him, and he spun round and held a hand out. "Don't move."

"What.... what is it?" She stepped forward again. David wasn't sure what he could do to get her to stop moving. She moved forward again and leaned round him to see what he was hiding. David's hand shot out and pulled her to him. Amy struggled to see round him as he held her tight. "Are you going to give it to me?"

"You don't know what it is. Maybe you don't want it!"

"I want it, I want it." She smiled as he reached behind him.


	37. Dreams

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 37: Dreams**

"What is it?"

"Close your eyes." David smiled as she stepped back with her eyes closed. "Keep them closed." He said as her eyes fluttered.

"They are closed." She said indignantly.

"Shhh." David moved over and Amy felt herself go slightly light headed as she held her breath. "Hold out you hand." She felt something light being laid on her hand.

"Can I open my eyes? Please?"

"Ok." She looked down and at first she was disappointed but then she looked closer. "There is another surprise, which you will get when we arrive."

"But, but...."

"You don't have to worry about work, it is all sorted. It was surprisingly easy actually. Lauren is staying with Michael till we get back."

"What, what about Victor?"

"He is taking care of."

"What about...."

"Hey stop. I have sorted all of this out."

"You mean my mom knew about all this?"

"Yes."

"I knew it. I knew there was something up with her. She kept ducking out of the room whenever the conversation died down."

"Will you stop talking." David laughed at her. She hadn't moved, her hands were still held out in front of her. "Do you like your surprise?"

"What about my stuff, my...."

"Amy, stop!" She looked up at him and he saw the light in her eyes, the dance that had appeared there. He watched as what he had handed her suddenly dawned on her. Her hands dropped what they were holding and she screamed as she jumped into his arms. "Well I'm glad you like it."

"But I want to know the second half of my surprise." She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"You'll have to wait for that."

"Do I have to?" She briefly touched his lips with hers.

"Yes." She kissed him again, while he wrapped his arms around her.

"Do I really really have to?" She kissed him again.

"Yes. You have to wait." He swung her round, moving away from the counter. He let her go as he bent down to pick up the tickets. "Now we leave for Florida tomorrow morning...." Amy laid a hand on the back of his neck, and he paused.

"Are you sure I have to wait?" She asked seductively, running her hand gently down his back. Slowly he stood up, and took her hand in his, kissing it. He looked into her laughing eyes.

"Yes you have to wait." She pouted. "Anyway, we leave tomorrow morning and we need to be ready. Your mom said that she will have some stuff ready for you so we are going to go round to yours and collect it now."

"Now! After you set the mood for us to be...."

"Alone?"

"Well yeah."

"We have...."

"How long did you get off work for us?"

"2 weeks."

"2 weeks?"

"Yes, although we will have to come home, after a week, the hotel only had a room for that long."

* * *

They arrived at the Gray's household and David smiled as Amy excitedly jumped out of the car. 

"I'll be two minutes." She ran upto the house.

"Mom?" She called as she ran up the stairs. "Mom? Where are you?"

"What is it dear?"

"I can't believe you knew. I can' believe you managed to keep it a secret."

"Well it was touch and go with Gillian, she got a bit over excited."

"Do you know what the second half of the surprise is?"

"Well sort of, David only hinted."

"You have got to tell me. I am just going to die. I mean he has been teasing me with this half, all day, and now I have to wait till whenever we get there and then I bet I will still have to wait till a certain point in his plan."

"I am not telling you anything, I only know the hints and it is not a good idea for you to get your hopes up, when it may not be happening right now."

"Hopes up.... is he?"

"I am not saying anything."

"Ma!"

"Amy stop it! Just stay calm and try to forget you have another surprise coming, and enjoy what is happening."

"I can't. I hate surprises!"

"You do not! Now are you going to leave him waiting?"

"No, no." She paused to take a breath and calm herself. "He said you were going to prepare a bag for me."

"I was, but decided after entering your room, I have no idea where the hell you keep your stuff or what things you wanted."

"Right." Amy moved towards her room.

"And Amy...."

"Yes mom?"

"Try and relax, the last few weeks have been stressful, for both of you. David worked really hard to get the time off for you. They weren't happy about it at first, but he stressed that a nervous break down would not be good for them....something about that can take years to recover from."

"God, he is so crafty, and sneaky and...."

"And?"

"And I love him." Maxine laughed at her excited daughter.

"Well don't keep him waiting dear."

"No, right. Stop distracting me!" Amy ran to her room and pulled her bag out of her closet and dragged it over to her bed, throwing it open. She stood for a moment to collect herself. She thought of what she wanted to wear, what she wanted not to wear, or in a sense to take off. She rushed through her drawers flinging clothes and lingerie into the case. She grabbed her passport and stuffed it in her purse. "Right, that's it." She slammed the case closed and began to drag it out of her room almost walking straight into.... "David? What are you doing up here?"

"I decided I better rescue you, you seem to get lost in here, and end up bringing your room with you when you do find your way out."

"Ha ha ha." She dropped her case and pushed him playfully.

"Hey, really, I just wanted to carry your stuff."

"Well aren't you being the perfect gentleman?" She said sarcastically.

"Why yes me lady." He bowed before ducking away so she could't slap him. She tried to grab him but tripped on her case and fell, letting out a screech. He caught her and swiftly pulled her into his arms. "I see you fall for the gentleman type." He smirked. She found her footing and stood up, glaring at him.

"Not funny!"

"Hey you two. Unless you are planning on staying here tonight, I suggest you get a move on." Maxine yelled up the stairs.

David released his hold on her and picked up the case. "Well we better get a move on then hadn't we." They had just reached the car when his cell started ringing.

"Don't answer it, it can only bring bad news."

"That's what I'm afraid of." He heaved the case into the trunk and then answered his cell. "Hello?.... yes I suppose if you have to go.... do you have to go tonight?... Well I guess it does have to be tonight.... I know I'm sorry.... I said I'm sorry.... no it's ok, we'll be round in a minute.... ok bye." He shoved his phone back in his pocket. "Damn it."

"What's the matter? Where are we going?"

"We have to go collect Victor." He saw her face. "Don't worry it's just for tonight. His grandmother has to visit a friend who is upset or something."

"What if her friend still needs her after tonight?"

"She has assured me, that Victor is more important, and that it is just going to be one night."

"Still, I thought we were leaving early?"

"We are, Shannon is always up early, and she says she will be round in time to pick him up."

"Fine." Amy watched the road as David drove. He knew she was upset and he was a little disappointed too, but they were about to spend a week together, alone, with no chances of this kind of thing happening.

As she watched the road she calmed herself down. She had been cursing, but realised it was nobodies fault, and she shouldn't sulk over such a minor thing. She managed to get a smile back on her face by the time they arrived at Shannon Miller's.

Victor waved to them as they got out of the car.

"Hiya sport."

"This kinda sucks, moving from house to house. I feel like a yo-yo."

"I'm sorry honey, but my friend really needs me." Shannon hugged Victor.

"I know grandma, but it is still annoying and kinda...."

"Unsettling?" Amy asked.

"Sort of." Victor smiled at Amy, "Mo...."

David jumped in, not wanting to upset Shannon's feelings by having her hear Victor call Amy mom; "So what time will you be round tomorrow?"

"7 dear, and don't interrupt your son, it's rude."

"Sorry." David winked at Victor and he realised how he had almost slipped up. "We had better get going, early start and all."

They all waved from the car as they drove away.

"It's going to be weird sleeping in my own bed again."

"Uhuh." Amy and David muttered in unison.

* * *

When they arrived Victor tried to reason that he should be allowed to stay up, but couldn't quite manage it and was soon in his room. 

"Thank god, I thought we would never be alone again." David hugged Amy.

"Well we're not exactly alone are we?"

"I guess not, but we can still...."

"I'm too tired now." Amy moved away from David and walked into the bedroom. She looked back at him and saw the look of longing in his eyes.

"But...."

"We have a week of no interruptions coming up and I really need to sleep."

"Amy, we could still...." He followed her into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. "Amy?"

"Stop being a big baby, you can wait one more day, I had all day being on my own, and I'm tired from all the cleaning I did." David wrapped his arms around her.

"Ok I'm sorry. We will just cuddle."

"Thank you."

* * *

Amy woke up from a sharp pain in her leg. Victor had kicked her and he was about to kick her again. She elbowed him hard in the back. But he didn't move, with another kick Amy jumped out of bed, rubbing her calf muscle. She limped out of the bedroom, slightly confused as to why Victor was in their bed. She sat on the sofa and wondered how David could sleep after she jumped out of bed the way she did. She looked at the clock. 2.30am. 

_"Damn, in a couple of hours it wouldn't have mattered."_ Amy sighed but laid down on the sofa and fell asleep almost immediately.

David woke up, the sheets were tugged again and he sat up. _"Amy?" _He reached over and turned on the light on the nightstand. He got up when he saw it was Victor and there was no Amy. He walked to Victors room to see if she was in his bed but it was empty. He walked into the living room. He found her curled up and shivering on the couch. He touched her shoulder and she woke up with a sharp inhale of breath.

_"David."_ Was all she managed to get out.

"What are you doing out here.... shivering?"

"Victor kept kicking me."

"Kicking you?"

"Yes. It hurts, I'm going to have a bruise."

"Aww baby." He sat on the sofa and pulled Amy to him. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"Cause I was out of the bed by the time a second kick came."

"He's never kicked before, must be the unsettlement." Amy looked away. "Aww baby, it's not your fault, now come here." He lay back on the sofa taking Amy with him. "We need to sleep."

"It's a good thing we didn't do anything last night."

"Why's that?"

"Because I would have been naked."

"Mmm." She slapped his chest.

"Victor would have been right next to me."

"Yes well, there would have been an awkward moment when we woke up...."

"I don't know whether I want to sleep with you right now, you are being annoying."

David laughed and wrapped the blanket over and round them. "Shh, go to sleep."

* * *

There was a knock at the door but both Amy and David were too tired to even notice. Victor woke up and got out of the bed, confused as to why he was alone. He checked who was at the door and then opened it. 

"Grandma, you're here early."

"No, this was the time David told me to come. Where is you father?"

"I don't know, they weren't in bed when I woke up just now."

"Well they wouldn't have left before I came to get you, so they must be here somewhere." There was a moan which eminated from the couch. "What the hell was that?" They both walked over to the couch to see Amy moving round ontop of David. "Oh my." Finally Amy settled and was still. "Why would they be on the couch?"

"I don't know. Maybe I hogged the sheets too much."

"You were in bed with them?"

"Yeah, I had a nightmare, instead of waking them up I just got into bed with them."

"That's a bit...."

"Mom doesn't mind." Shannon looked upset and coughed to clear her throat.

"Are you ok grandma?"

"Yes I'm fine." Suddenly it dawned on him what he had said. He was glad David was asleep otherwise he would be in trouble. "Victor dear, they are going to miss their flight if they don't wake up, so I'll go make the coffee and you wake them up."

"Ok." Shannon walked into the kitchen and Victor moved round to the front of the couch. Sitting on the coffee table. "Dad." He pushed his arm. "Dad, grandma's here." When all David did was grunt Victor moved onto Amy. "Mom wake up." Amy's eyes slowly opened and came into focus.

"Morning Victor." She stretched and sat up. "You kept kicking me last night. I have a nasty bruise."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to."

"I know honey. What time is it?"

"7.15 grandma's here already."

"Shit! Sorry, shouldn't swear." She glanced around her. "Where is she?"

"In the kitchen making coffee."

"Oh," she looked at David. "David wake up." She shook him and he just stirred slightly. "God it's annoying when he gets like this."

"Mom...."

"What's up.... what did you do?"

"I didn't do anything in particular, I just kinda said something."

"What did you.... you called me mom in front of Shannon didn't you?" Victor nodded.

"I didn't mean to, it just kinda slipped out." Amy smiled before she shook David again.

"We just won't tell your dad yet. Although I'm sure he will find out soon enough. David wake up." She leant forward and whispered into his ear. David's eyes shot open and he sat up.

"What did you say to him." Victor sat looking amazed at how quickly his dad had woken up.

"Nothing." David grinned looking at Amy.

"Yeah right! I'm going to get breakfast." Victor smirked before getting up and going into the kitchen. Shannon who had been listening at the door rushed to the table and sat down with her coffee.

"That's a nice way to wake up, shame we can't do anything about it." Amy smiled at David.

"Well Shannon is here."

"What? What time is it?"

"It is now 20 past 7."

"We are going to miss our flight if we don't hurry."

"Calm down, we just need to get showered and dressed, we can catch breakfast at the airport."

"Are we going to shower together to save time?"

"No, you know for a fact that we won't get to our flight if we shower together."

"I know, but after what you said...."

"Behave yourself," Amy scolded. "We have other people in the house." She climbed off of David and headed towards the bathroom. "Go have some coffee. Shannon made some."

* * *

David entered the kitchen and felt the tension in the room. 

"Ok, what happened?" Victor got up and quickly left the room. "What did he say?"

"Nothing."

"Come on Shannon, what did he say? Or what did he do?"

"Nothing you will be bothered by. You know already."

"What do I know already?"

"Victor calling that.... woman-mom."

"That girl has a name Shannon."

"Yeah,- mom."

"No, her name is Amy and you know it."

"I don't agree with what is happening here, you aren't married yet David and he is already calling her mom. You just moved on so quickly."

"Shannon that was uncalled for. I love her and...."

"As much as you loved Kelly?"

"That is an unfair comparison."

"How can you just forget her like that?"

"I haven't forgotten her, I just am at peace with her."

"How can you.... what are you going to do if I decide I don't want to take Victorthis week? That would throw a spanner in the works!"

"Shannon don't."

"Well, what would you do then?"

"Well, to be quite honest it wouldn't change anything."

"How is that? You won't be able to go away if Victor is here and you can't take him with you."

"Well, a) we could take him with us if we wanted. I have enough money to get him his own room and everything. You know that. And b) I'm sure that Maxine won't mind looking after him for an extra week."

"Maxine?"

"Amy's mom."

"How do you know that she would do that? You don't know her that well."

"I don't want to argue with you."

"Because you know I'm right!"

"No actually you are not! It was with Maxine's help that I managed to plan all of this. She would gladly help out with this."

"What about her work?"

"Victor is at school."

"What about after?"

"He can go to her work."

"And her boss won't mind?"

"She works at DCF they have kids there all the time. No problem."

"Well fine, if you don't need me then I'll just go." Shannon stormed out of the kitchen.

"I never said I didn't need you. I just said that if that is what you decided to do then we would be able to cope."

"No David, you planned all this without me, so just include Maxine with everything. Ok?"

"No it is not ok."

"Well it has to be. If you can just forget about Kelly, than you can just forget about me too."

"Shannon stop it. You don't mean that."

"Oh I do David. I do." Shannon walked out the front door and slammed it shut behind her.

"Shit." He went back into the kitchen and picked up the phone. "Maxine, hi, sorry I know it is early."

"Are you ok David? You sound stressed."

"Shannon found out that Victor is calling Amy mom, and has walked out. She refuses to look after him this week. I know you were going to be looking after him next week, but could you do this week as well?"

"Of course I can. The house is too big and empty for just one person."

"Thank you so much. I owe you a big favour."

"No you don't just make Amy happy. That is enough for me."

"Thank you again. Is it alright to drop him off before we go to the airport?"

"No, don't worry about that. I will come pick him up."

"I can't thank you enough."

"I will be round in a minute."

"See you then. Thanks, bye." David hung up and leant against the wall. He couldn't believe Shannon, he knew that hearing Victor call Amy,- mom, was upsetting, but talk about over reacting. He started to make breakfast and was just done setting the table when there was a knock on the door. "Victor, get in here now. Time for you to leave."

"I'm here, don't need to yell. Where's grandma?"

"Well actually...." He opened the door, "you will be spending the whole 2 weeks with Maxine."

"Oh, why?"

"Grandma got a little upset ok?"

"Is she mad at me?"

"No she is mad at me. Now grab your stuff we don't want Maxine to be waiting."

"That's fine David, I'm in no rush." She looked at Davids etire. "But you should be." He looked down at his clothes.

"Yeah, right well Amy has been in the shower all this time."

"Maybe she's waiting for something, or someone." Maxine smiled as she followed Victor to the car, as David smacked his hand to his head. He quickly closed and locked the door and arrived at the bathroom without a second to spare.

"Amy?" He slowly opened the door and was engulphed in steam. He stumbled through it till he walked into something. "Ow, damn it. Amy are you in here?" He blinked a couple of times getting his eyes used to the steam. "Amy?" He heard a quiet sob over the sound of the shower and stepped up to the bath, pulling the curtain aside. Amy was hunched up with her arms around her knees crying. "Amy? Are you ok?" Her face was hidden and she didn't move or acknowledge he was there. Not thinking about himself he climbed into the bath and wrapped his arms around her. "Honey?" She was shaking as he held her tight. He slowly stood her up and picked her up as he stepped out of the shower, placing her feet on the floor, he wrapped a towel around her and led her into the bedroom, sitting her on the bed. He held her in a tight embrace as he slowly rocked her. When she stopped shaking Amy seemed to come to.

"What.... how.... sorry."

"Hey, hey, hey don't be sorry. What happened?"

"I heard you arguing, but I couldn't really hear what you were saying and it triggered a flashback or something."

"I'm sorry honey, it is all sorted now." Amy hugged him back and then sat back.

"What and who were you arguing with?"

"Shannon, and it was about Victor calling you mom. She refused to take him with her...."

"Oh...." She looked down disappointed.

"But your mom has taken him instead."

"Sometimes I really love my mom."

"Good. Right I don't mean to seem insensitive right now, but if we are going to make our flight we need get moving."

"I'm fine now. Let's go." She kissed him then walked over to her clothes.

* * *

Just over 2 hours later they had managed to get to the airport and check in, they made it onto the plane and they both slept through the flight. They were in such a deep sleep that after it landed they had to be woken by the steward. They got off giggling and made their way to a waiting taxi which was to take them to their hotel. As they walked into the hotel Amy looked around the lobby amazed. It was elegantly decorated but still managed to have an open welcoming look. They reached the front desk and breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Excuse me." David leaned on the desk.

"Yes sir, how can I help?"

"We have a reservation."

"Name?"

"McClaren." He looked at her name badge; Jessica.

There was a pause as Jessica tapped a few keys on the keybord. "Oh dear."

_"I knew it was too good to be true."_ Amy whispered.

"What is the problem?"

"Well it seems somehow we have double booked and unfortunately the other couple got here first."

"How can you double book a room when it is all on a computer system, surely it would tell you that someone else has booked it."

"Well it does happen sometimes when two people make a booking at the same time, and the computer recognises and registers both. It is rare but it does still happen."

"Well that doesn't really help us."

"I will check for another room for you sir, bear with me a second."

"Right." David turned to Amy. "Sorry honey."

"It's fine, we knew that not everything can be perfect for us."

"I know, but I so wanted this week to be perfect. After everything that has happened, I was looking forward to a perfect week with just the two of us." David caressed her cheek and softly kissed her lips. Amy wrapped her arms around him, laying her head on his chest.

"Sir?" David turned a little so he was looking at Jessica. "We only have one other room available...." She paused a pained expression on her face.

"What's the problem with it?"

"There is no problem with the room, but it is quite a bit more expensive."

"How much more?"

"$300 a night more."

"We'll take it."

"David! You have paid for everything so far, the plane, the hotel...well the other room. Let me pay for this extra bit."

"No, we'll take it and I will pay." He handed her his card and turned back to Amy. "You are worth it, and you need this week."

"Here is your card back sir, and here is your key and all the details you will need." She handed them an evelope and David smiled and took it and picked his bag back up. "Don't worry about that sir. We will take your bags up, it is a complementary service with your room."

"Oh, thank you."

"No problem sir." She waved at a porter who ran over and collected their bags together.

"I apologise for that bag. It's hers." 

"Hey." Amy punched his arm.

"No problem."

They followed the porter to their room and David suddenly got a big grin on his face which confused Amy.

"What's up with you?"

"Look at the room." She turned and looked. It was the honeymoon suite.

"Wow, no wonder it was so much more." She walked in and sat on the bed. "So what is the next part of my surprise?"

"Now there was me thinking you had forgotten!" Amy pulled a face. "Ok ok, close your eyes."

"Again?" Amy complained.

"Amy."

"Fine."

"With my two hands I give you my heart and crown it with my love." Amy's eyes flickered open as he handed her a small box. "I bought you a Claddagh ring to prove my commitment to you."

"David I love it. Thank you. This is got to be the best surprise in my life."

"Really?"

"Really." She let him put on the ring and then kissed him pulling him on top of her.


	38. Darkness Watches

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 38: Darkness Watches**

_'You're too important for anyone  
There's something wrong with everything you see  
But I, I know who you really are  
You're the one who cries when you're alone _

But where will you go  
With no one left to save you from yourself  
You can't escape  
You can't escape'

* * *

He watched David with great concentration. He knew him from somewhere, somewhere in his past. He thought back thinking of where he could be from, as he thought back over all that he had done over the last few years. Then something clicked. A few years ago in Greenwich he had commited a few murders on commision for a guy. As his thoughts clicked over a cruel smile crept onto his lips.

* * *

_'You think that I can't see right through your eyes  
Scared to death to face reality  
No one seems to hear your hidden cries  
You're left to face yourself alone _

But where will you go  
With no one left to save you from yourself  
You can't escape  
You can't escape'

* * *

After they left, he made his way to the house. He had learnt the code a few weeks ago and was now ready to start his plan. He knew they would be gone for a week, then they were coming back, but were going to be alone. Which meant at some point Amy would be alone in the house. He tapped in the code and then closed the door, he emptied his bag onto the couch and began to set up his camera's, they were the smallest available to buy and his client had an unlimited budget so he was pleased at what he was able to buy. He set them up attached to picture frames, to the tv all over the front room and a few in the kitchen. So that when David left her alone, he would know. He would be there in a flash. After placing the last camera in the kitchen he went through the cupboards eating as much of the food as he could.

* * *

_'I realize you're afraid  
But you can't abandon everyone  
You can't escape  
You don't want to escape _

I'm so sick of speaking words that no one understands  
Is it clear enough that you can't live your whole life all alone  
I can hear you in a whisper  
But you can't even hear me screaming'

* * *

Forgetting himself briefly, he picked up a picture, it was the one of Kelly, David and Victor in Colorado. He smiled wickedly at it as he remembered her screams when he grabbed her. He only wished he could have seen David's face when he found her. He had watched him up until he left Greenwich. The way he broke down, the way he was blamed for her death. He placed the picture down. Looked around one last time and then left, being careful to clear all his stuff and set the alarm and locks.

* * *

_'But where will you go  
With no one left to save you from yourself  
You can't escape  
You can't escape _

I realize you're afraid  
But you can't reject the whole world  
You can't escape  
You won't escape  
You can't escape  
You don't want to escape'


	39. Shhh

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 39: Shhh**

_'There was a time  
__When I was so brokenhearted  
__Love wasn't much of a friend of mine  
__The tables have turned, yeah  
__Cause me and them ways have parted  
__That kind of love was the killin' kind  
__All I want is someone I can't resist  
__I know all I need to know by the way that I got kissed'_

* * *

David threw his case down as he pulled Amy back towards him. She laughed as he tried to kiss her. 

"Quit laughing."

"I can't help it."

"Now you're for it." He began to tickle her and she sank to the floor laughing. David sat on her stopping her from getting away. "You wanted to laugh."

"Ahh, stop. Get off me. I couldn't help it!" She struggled to get away from his onslaught.

"Fine." He sat back and crossed his arms.He watched her still giggling away and he couldn't help but smile. He placed his hands either side of her as he leant forward to kiss her. Unexpectedly she reached up and started tickling him.

"Pay back!" He struggled to defend his sides while trying to keep his weight off of her. Eventually he gave up and fell forward, only just managing to roll over before landing on her. She took advantage of the situation and sat on him still laughing. "You shouldn't tickle me, you know I always get you back."

"I'm sorry." He was still laughing, but calmed himself down. She attempted to pin his arms as she kissed him, but he easily freed them and wrapped his arms around her rolling her back over.

* * *

He watched the moniters closely. The wicked smile still pasted on his face, he was going to have so much fun with this one. Oh so much fun!

* * *

_'I was cryin' when I met you  
__Now I'm tryin to forget you  
__Love is sweet misery  
__I was cryin' just to get you  
__Now I'm dying cause I let you  
__Do what you do-down on me'_

* * *

Amy hung up the phone and sighed. 

"Are you ok?" David slipped his arms around her waist kissing her neck from behind.

"Yeah, Michael and Lauren have been having alot of disagreements with each other."

"Such as?"

"Nothing important." She turned to him. "Now where were we before our little interruption?"

"I believe we were on our way to my boudoir."

"Ahh thats right." Amy smiled making David feel like he was going to melt on the spot.

* * *

_'Now there's not even breathing room  
__Between pleasure and pain  
__Yeah you cry when we're makin love  
__Must be one and the same'_

* * *

There was a knock at the door. 

"Don't you dare get that David."

"I wasn't... honest."

"Yeah, whatever just don't."

"It could be..."

"David it could be the Queen of England I wouldn't care."

"But..."

"If anything is wrong they can go to my house and my mom can deal with it." Satisfied with that answer they ignored the visitor. David carressed her cheek as he looked into her eyes adoringly. She giggled as he jumped when there was another knock on the door.

_"Shhh."_

"What?" She was still giggling away as he smiled at her.

"They will know that we are in if you keep making that noise."

"I don't care."

"Well I might as well answer it if you won't be quiet." At this Amy stifled her giggles and kissed him gently.

_"Sorry." _She said in a hushed voice before David kissed her again.

* * *

_'It's down on me  
__Yeah, I got to tell you one thing  
__It's been on my mind  
__Girl I gotta say  
__We're partners in crime  
__You got that certain something  
__  
What you give to me  
__Takes my breath away  
__Now the word out on the street  
__Is the devil's in your kiss  
__If our love goes up in flames  
__It's a fire I can't resist'_


	40. Panic, Strike and Mayhem

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

WARNING: This chapter may be considered **R **rated.

**Chapter 40: Panic, Strike and Mayhem**

Amy rolled over and stretched. She opened her eyes to see David getting dressed.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to buy us some food. We are all out."

"How is that possible?"

"I don't know."

"But there was plenty when we left."

"I know. Maybe Maxine came round to borrow something or they came over to get some of Victors stuff and ate here."

"But surely there would still be food."

"Maybe we just misjudged the amount we had before we left. It has been a week."

"I suppose. Do you have to go now?"

"Yep, to beat the rush, and get back to you, my beautiful." Amy smiled. "Unless you want to come with me?" He grinned as she screwed her face up.

"Don't be too long." He laughed.

"I won't." He kissed her forehead and grabbed his keys. "I'll be back in about an hour."

"Ok."

She turned over and went back to sleep, only to be woken by some knocking. She smiled thinking David must have forgotten his house keys. Amy quickly got up and picked David's robe up, wrapping it around her. She didn't even look to check who it was before she opened the door.

"Hello, Judge Gray?" Checking even though he knew it was her.

"Yes?" Her heart fluttered as she thought that something was wrong, something had happened. The look on his face scared her and she tried to close the door.

"Good." He stepped towards her, placing a foot in the dooway stopping her from closing the door.

"What do you want?" He stayed silent and grabbed her wrist twisting it to make her back away from the door. He pulled out a knife and held it up in front of him. _"No, please."_ She quietly pleaded as she backed up against the wall and then screamed as he held the cold sharp blade up to her throat.

_'Remember not to kill.'_ He kept repeating in his head, knowing that if he did he wouldn't get paid.

She felt the intent behind the sharp blade on her neck. _"What... what do you want?" _She gasped, afraid of the answer.

"Payback for DH." He smiled at her reaction, she was stronger than Kelly had been, Kelly had been a mess.

_"What?" _A look of confusion, followed by realisation filtered across her eyes as he dragged the blade effortlessly across her throat. He watched in glee as her face became contorted in a look of both horror and pain. Blood spurted out of her neck and onto him, he stepped back as she slid to the floor. He carefully placed the knife in his boot-he was not leaving this one behind. He dragged her through the bedroom and into the bathroom. Using her blood he wrote on the mirror.

_I'm back!_

He walked back out of the bathroom looking at the blood trail he had left and quickly left the house. He watched and waited, as soon as David pulled upto the house he phoned the police, to speak to a good friend of his.

"Hello, can I speak to Roderick please, yes I'll hold."

* * *

_'Oh, baby  
I, I, I don't wanna say  
Don't wanna say  
Don't wanna say  
Hear me baby'_

* * *

David left the shopping in the car and went up to the front door. It was shut but not locked and swung open when he inserted the key. Straight away he noticed the blood and his feet seemed to no longer belong to him. He ran into the bedroom and found her spluttering on the bathroom floor, a large pool of blood surrounding her. He reached into his pocket and phoned for an ambulance. Then knelt down next to her. 

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry baby." He tried to apply pressure to the wound but was scared of suffocating her. "Oh honey, please, please be ok. Stay with me. Stay with me."

_"David..."_ She croaked as blood poured out of her mouth.

"Don't talk. Save your energy." Her eyes began to flicker close, and he noticed the light had left them. "No, Amy, open your eyes now!"

_"Sorry." _Her eyes sealed shut and her heart rate and breathing slowed.

"Amy, don't do this to me. God why me? Why are you doing this to me?" He looked up and it was then that he saw the message on the mirror, he started to shake. "No, no, no, you can't, it can't be you... you bastard! How..." He looked down at Amy, she was no longer breathing and her skin had gone white.

* * *

_'Don't say goodbye  
I'll love you for my life time  
Without you there is no me  
Don't say goodbye  
Cuz soon it will be all right  
Oh baby, can't you see'_

* * *

The ambulance arrived before the police and they rushed into the house. They found David trying desperately to revive Amy. 

"What happened?"

"I don't know, I found her like this. I was out shopping."

"Ok, we'll take over."

"No, I have to stay with her."

"Please go outside."

"No, I'm staying." But as one of them lifted him up he let himself be steered away. And he sat in the kitchen staring blankly at the wall. He heard them working on her and tears ran down his cheek when he heard them stop, he held his breath and ran to them. "Is she going to be ok?"

"We have managed to stabalise her, but we need to get her to the hospital now."

"I'm coming with you."

"No you need to stay here and wait for the police."

"I'll leave the door open."

"Sir..."

"I'm coming, whether that means sitting in the ambulance or driving my car. I'm coming."

As he was about to get in the back of the ambulance he saw Roderick drive up. He jumped out of his car and yelled, "STOP."

"What is the hold up?"

"I'm here to arrest that man, for the murder of his wife and this lady here, Judge Amy Gray."

"Sorry sir, you're going to have to go with him." A paramedic turned to David.

"No! I'm going with Amy."

"We will look after her."

"I'm not leaving her alone, last time I did some sick bastard did this to her."

"That was you David, stop trying to shift the blame onto someone else."

"What is your problem with me? You have spent over two years blaming me for my wife's death, and then acuse me for Amy's death last time when she had a paper cut. This was not me!"

"Yeah, well where were you this time? At the office again?"

"No we are on vacation. I was shopping."

"Shopping? Yeah right!"

"I was. The groceries are still in the back of my car."

"Very conveniant."

"Look leave me alone. I'm going with Amy, handcuff me to the bed of whatever, but I'm not leaving her."

"We need to leave... now! So can you just handcuff him or something. We need to get moving if she has any chance of surviving." The paramedic driving didn't even wait for an answer before he started up the engine.

"Fine." Rod pulled out his cuffs and slapped them on Davids wrist and the other on the bed arm.

* * *

_'Baby, hold on  
To what you know is real  
We've had our share of problems  
But they can't change the way I feel  
We're gonna make it through the rough times  
Together, you and I  
I've been loving you too long  
So stay with me  
Don't say goodbye'_

* * *

Maxine and Victor were laughing at the film they were watching when the phone rang. Maxine was still laughing as she answered the phone. Her face turned deathly white and she dropped the phone. 

"Mrs Gray? What's wrong?" Victor jumped up concerned.

"I need, I need to sit down." He helped her into her seat.

"Would you like some water?" There was no response, so he went to pick up the phone. Hearing a voice in it, he raised it to his ear.

"Hello?" He spoke into it. He listened as the message was repeated, tears sprang into his eyes. "Yes I understand. Thank you. Bye." He bravely hung up the phone before the tears ran down his face. He walked over to Maxine and she looked up at him opening her arms to him. The tv played on forgotten as they held each other and sobbed.

* * *

_'Don't say goodbye  
I'll love you for my life time  
Without you there is no me  
Don't say goodbye  
Cuz soon it will be all right  
Oh baby, can't you see_

_Baby hold on  
It won't be very long  
All these problems we've been through  
They're making our love strong  
We've gotta hang in there  
In just a little while  
For every tear we've cried  
We will wear a smile  
Don't say goodbye'_

* * *

David sat in the waiting room, tears were so dry from tears yet to be shed. He was in a daze, not noticing when he was bumped as people walked by or when a nurse placed a cup of coffee in his hands. He stared at the wall opposite him, not daring to think because that would mean that time would pass, and time was something they no longer had.

* * *

_'(Cuz I know)  
I know that we can make it  
If we only try  
Don't worry 'bout a thing  
You gotta believe me  
This love was meant to be  
Don't ever say goodbye  
Goodbye  
I promise to love you baby, please'_

* * *

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?" Peter stormed through the doors. David didn't move, didn't look up. He was frozen. "Are you going to answer me?" He walked right up to David and knocked the cup out of his hands. David's gaze slowly looked to the floor where the coffee was in a pool with the cup in the middle of it. 

"Peter leave him be." Gillian said placing a hand on his arm.

Peter turned to her and she stepped back, the anger in his eyes shocked her. "Everytime she is with him she gets hurt. And now... how can you stand there so calmly."

"I am not calm, but there is no use shouting at someone who obviously is too upset to notice anything."

"But..."

"Peter, don't. Now take the kids and get them something from the canteen or something." Peter took the kids and walked slowly away with his head bowed. Gillian turned to David and sat next to him. "Are you ok?"

David started muttering but she couldn't work out what he was saying so she leant closer.

_"I don't need this... why did he come back? What is so special about me that I need to be tortured? I didn't do anything wrong! All I did was love somebody... love two people. Why? Now Victor will have lost two mothers, Lauren is never going to forgive me... I shouldn't have left her alone in the house. I shouldn't have left. I should have waited. We could have gone together. Shopping in the rush isn't that bad... and with her there it wouldn't have mattered. She would have been safe. Oh so safe. Why did he come back?__ Why? Why?"_

"Who came back David?"

_"Why?"_

"David, who came back?"

"Supposidly Kelly's murderer." There was a pause. "But you know about that don't you David?" Gillian turned to see Roderick smiling at her sipping from a cup of coffee.

"Who the hell are you?"

"Roderick Jones, I am the arresting officer."

"The what?"

"I am here to arrest Mr McClaren."

"For what?"

"The murder of his wife, and the murder of Judge Gray."

"But she's not... is she?"

"No, not yet. But the outlook isn't good."

"I told you." Peter said grimly walking up behind her. "Where's mom? Has she arrived yet?"

"No." Gillian's gaze did not leave Roderick's face. "I don't think she's coming."

"What!"

"She has to look after Victor."

"Ah the boy." Roderick smiled wickedly.

"You leave him alone." Roderick just turned and walked away on the pretense of reading a notice board. Gillian turned back to David who was still muttering. "He hasn't spoken yet." She said worried.

"Well what the hell is he doing now then?"

"Peter!" She scolded, before answering. "He is muttering, it is not the same thing."

"Well to me it is. What is he saying?"

"Something about 'he' came back."

"Who came back?"

_"Kelly's murderer."_ She looked away.

"What?"

"Kelly's murderer."

"Well that's just bloody brilliant! My sister is dying because of him. He might as well have taken the knife and attacked her himself."

"That's not fair, it's not David's fault some sick person decided to hold a grudge."

"And neither is what has happened to my sister."

"Amy will be fine. She always pulls through. She is always ok."

"Cats only have 9 lives Gillian."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that there are only so many times a person can be hurt either physically of psychologically before they can't fight on anymore. They give up."

"Amy never gives up. She has Lauren to think of... and now Victor."

"Oh yes, another burden for her."

"Victor is not a burden!"

"Yet."

"Why are you being like this Peter? Amy and David need our support and you are being so distant, so..."

"Well how do you want me to act? Like normal, as if nothing had happened?"

Gillian hung her head and sighed. There was no way of getting him to understand. "Just don't swear in front of the kids." She put an arm around David, and for the first time since they had arrived he realised that they were there and that Amy was dying. He heard a door opening and looked up. A doctor was walking slowly towards them, with a grim look on his face.

* * *

_'Please stay with me baby  
I don't wanna hear you say  
Cuz I would go crazy  
If you weren't with me  
Please stay with me baby  
I don't wanna hear you say  
Cuz I would go crazy  
If you weren't with me  
And baby can't you see_

_Don't say goodbye  
I'll love you for my life time  
Without you there is no me  
Don't say goodbye  
Cuz soon it will be all right  
Oh baby, can't you see'_


	41. Barriers

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. I also do not own any songs used in any of the chapters.

**Chapter 41: Barriers**

Maxine stared blankly ahead of her as Sean came in with some tea. He kept silent knowing that it was best sometimes to just leave Maxine when she was upset. He placed the mug in front of her and went over to Victor.

"How are you feeling mate?"

"Why did this have to happen? They were so happy.... like mom and...." Victor went silent, trying to hide the fact he wanted to cry. Sean noticed this and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey listen, if you want to cry, go ahead. I know that what has happened is traumatic, and I know that you have already cried, it is alright to be upset."

"Mrs Gray isn't crying anymore." Sean glanced at Maxine before replying.

"Yes, well, she deals with things by bottling them up. I'm surprised she cried in the first place. But bottling them up is not the answer, it can make you very ill."

"When can we go see her?" He looked away, not knowing the answer and seeing the deep need in Victor's eyes was hard.

"I don't know. They aren't even letting your dad in to see her."

"Yeah but that's because they think he did it to her." Victor could contain the tears no longer and they streamed down his face. Sean knelt down and Victor fell into his open arms. "He didn't do it, why do they keep saying that he did it?"

"I don't know."

There was a knock at the door. "Will you be alright if I go answer that?"

"Yeah." Victor wiped his eyes and sat back. Sean walked to the door glancing over his shoulder to make sure he was ok. Then opened the door and was met by some people he vaguely recognised.

"Good evening, sorry to bother you but we are looking for a Mr Victor McClaren."

"Why?"

"We are here to take him to a foster family whilst his father is being held in custody."

"You realise he has a grandmother who lives close by right?"

"That is irrelevant."

"Um no, I don't think it is. Family members should always be contacted first in a case of emergency, but right now he is at his second home anyway. So he has no need to leave."

"And what would you know about it sir? We are just trying to do our jobs." Sean smirked at this.

"What would I know about it? Hmm, let's see. I just so happen to be head of DCF and the lady in there with Victor is one of my best employee's. So if you will excuse me for being rude, I am going to close this door and **not **wish you fair well."

"I'm afraid that we will have to see some ID."

"Oh for god's sake." He reached into his pocket. "Here." He thrust his ID badge into their hands and stood frozen as they called it in. Wanting more than anything to grab it back and slam the door in their faces.

* * *

_'Can you forgive me again?  
I don't know what I said  
But I didn't mean to hurt you  
  
I heard the words come out  
I felt like I would die  
It hurt so much to hurt you  
  
Then you look at me  
You're not shouting anymore  
You're silently broken  
  
I'd give anything now  
to hear those words from you'_

* * *

David sat on the lumpy bed staring at the bars on the window. Wondering how his life got to be like this. Wondering how he had let Amy get hurt. Did he not learn from what happened to Kelly? Did he not learn that letting people into his life was a bad idea. That it just meant a whole load of more hurt for everyone. More hurt than anyone should have to endure. More hurt than he needed. He closed his eyes and fell back onto the bed. Wishing that things could be over, that everyone would leave him alone so he could get on with his life and not have to relive what happened to Kelly, or what now had happened to Amy. But again he was forced to be punished. Again he was blamed for what happened for a loved one. Why couldn't the physical stuff happen to him? Why couldn't he be the one they took? Why did Victor have to lose two moms? Why? 

_"Damn it!" _He muttered under his breath.

* * *

_'Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."  
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.  
  
'Cause you were made for me  
Somehow I'll make you see  
How happy you make me' _

* * *

"Have you told Lauren?" Sean stood next to the couch looking at Maxine. 

"What?" She looked up as if woken from a deep sleep, a confused look crossed her face.

"Have you called Lauren?" He pressed.

"No." The blunt response was meant to warn Sean not to go on. But he was used to dealing with her now and knew that he should go on if anything was to be done.

"You have to tell her."

"I don't have to do anything." Maxine replied stubbornly clenching her fists.

"You have to tell her incase...."

"Incase what Sean?" She glared up at him, daring him to say it. Daring him to make her face her worst nightmare.

He ignored her gaze and carried on. "Incase the worst happens! Do you want her to come home and have it all thrust on her, without her even knowing she was in hospital."

_"It's what Amy would have wanted, she was always holding the real world away from her."_ Maxine muttered barely above a whisper.

"Well Amy's not here right now. What do you think is best." Sean was surprising himself with the strength of his words and the way he was standing up to her.

_"I agree with Amy."_ He had to choke back a laugh at this. She was always so stubborn.

"Maxine! You know what needs to be done. Now I can't make you call her, I have never been able to make you do anything, but I want you to know I do trust you to do what's right."

"It will crush her." Maxine broke and Sean stared in shock as she burst into tears. He sat down beside her and put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

* * *

_'I can't live this life  
Without you by my side  
I need you to survive  
  
So stay with me  
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.  
  
And you forgive me again  
You're my one true friend  
And I never meant to hurt you'_

* * *

On hearing the news Lauren went into shock and then she became angry. She turned on Michael and demanded to be taken home. 

"You are home sweety." Not wanting to believe the news, he was shocked at Lauren's attitude.

"No this is your home, not mine. Take me home now."

"I don't think it's a good idea for you to be there. I don't think it's safe."

"Take me home now. I want to be with mom."

"She's not even at home honey. You might as well as stay here."

"NOW!"

"Don't speak to me in that tone of voice young lady."

"I WANT TO GO HOME NOW. EITHER YOU TAKE ME OR I WILL MAKE MY OWN WAY HOME!"

"Go to your room and don't come out till I say you can." Michael forced himself to stay calm. He was upset that Amy was hurt and he wanted as much as Lauren to be there with her. If he was honest he still felt something for her, and was still wanted to be protective of her. He sat on the couch trying to think of a way to get Lauren to listen to him, so that she would calm down and accept what had happened.

Meanwhile Lauren was in her room throwing her stuff into her bag and was soon creeping out to the front door. With a glance behind her she opened the door and stepped out into the night.

* * *

_'I can't live this life  
Without you by my side  
I need you to survive  
  
So stay with me  
You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.  
  
And you forgive me again  
You're my one true friend  
And I never meant to hurt you'  
_


	42. Guardian Angels

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 42: Guardian Angels**

Amy was lying alone in her room. Nobody had been allowed in to visit her and nobody had been able to see how pale she looked. She looked like all the blood had been drained from her body leaving her with the look of death.

Peter and now Vincent were pacing outside her room, wanting to see for themselves that she was going to be ok. That she was alive.

"Will you two stop pacing. You're making me feel dizzy."

"Sorry Gillian." Vincent sat down, shoving his chin into his hands.

"You too honey."

"Sorry." He sat down but soon jumped up again when he saw a doctor walk into Amy's room and then back out again. "Excuse me...." The doctor seemed not to hear and walked on through staff only doors. Peter by now was extremely annoyed at this. Everybody seemed to be ignoring them, not telling them anything if he managed to catch them. Wishing Kyle still worked there, he sat back down when he realised he had started pacing again. "I wish they would just tell us something. Anything even...."

"I know honey. But no news is good news, right?"

"Not where my sister is concerned." Gillian turned her attention back to Walt and Ned realising that there was no way to get him to calm down until they had some news.

* * *

Lauren was walking along completely lost. She checked in her pockets and smiled when she realised that she did have some money to get a cab. She looked up and down the busy street and soon saw one coming her way. She jumped in and told the driver where she wanted to go. She settled in for the journey not knowing how long it was going to take, but watched the meter carefully knowing that once it reached her limit she was going to have to get out and walk.

* * *

Amy gasped as her eyes flickered open. She felt like she couldn't breathe and her neck was sore. She glanced around and realised where she was, and then it all came flooding back. Tears rolled down her face as she shook from sobs. 

Peter and Vincent both jumped up when they saw several doctors and nurses rush through some doors and into Amy's room. They started their pacing again, and this time Gillian didn't have the heart to ask them to stop, she was now just as worried as they were.

After a few minutes had past, but what seemed like hours to the family a doctor walked out of Amy's room and slowly walked towards them with no expression on his face. Gillian held her breath as he started to speak.

"You may go in and visit her for 5 minutes...." Both Peter and Vincent rushed forward, but were stopped by the doctor. "You can go in one at a time. I don't want you to tire her out, so don't let her speak."

"You go. You were here first." Vincent stepped back and sat down. Peter flashed a grateful smile before moving to Amy's room. At first his breath caught in his throat when he saw how pale she was, thinking the doctor must have made a horrible mistake, but her eyes opened and fixed onto him.

"Hey you." He smiled. "You always did have to get the most attention, huh?" The corners of her mouth moved as if to smile but it soon left. "So are you ok? Wait scrap that. Everyone always asks that when it is obvious you are not. Ok, um so how are you feeling?" Her shoulders moved slightly in a shrug but stopped when she winced in pain. Amy opened her mouth to speak but Peter shook his head. "No speaking, doctors orders." Amy pulled a face. "Guess that will be the hardest part about this huh?" He laughed, patting her hand. The doctor appeared at the door, the five minutes was up much too fast for Peter's liking. "Speak to you soon sis." He kissed her forehead before walking out slowly.

Amy blinked back more tears as Vincent walked in. Seeing the look of shock on her face he started to explain. "Don't worry I was coming home anyway. Imagine my surprise when I get there and find Sean answering our door. Mom sends her best wishes, but she stayed away to look after Victor. Strong lad him, could see he wanted to cry, and that he had been crying but he held it all in. Don't know about Lauren though. She's still at Michaels. Apparantly Sean had managed to get mom to phone her but apart from that I have no idea." He looked at her face, and smiled. Enjoying the look of annoyance which past over her face. "And yes I am loving the fact that I can talk and you can't."

_"Where's David?" _Amy managed to croak out.

"Hey hey no speaking. You'll get me in trouble with the doctor." He looked around the room. "We should get some flowers to liven this place up. Bit dull in here don't you think?"

_"Where's David?" _She asked again. _"I...."_

"Shhh.... do you want me to be banned from visiting you?"

_"Where's...?"_

"He's not here. Don't worry yourself with him. Now stop speaking." Seeing the pain in her eyes he sighed, but before he could say anything more the doctor was back.

"Time's up. You'll have to come back tomorrow. She needs her rest." Not having the energy to argue she silently watched Vincent kiss her and then leave, closing the door behind him. Her eyes fluttered closed and she sighed, as the tears returned and rolled down her already wet cheeks.

* * *

David sat at the table writing a letter for Amy, trying to be strong and stop his hand from shaking. 

_Dear my love,_

_As I sit alone, I remember all those beautiful moments we spent together.... _

_I miss the soft touch of your hand....   
I miss spending hours with you - doing nothing - yet loving it....   
And I'm waiting till we can meet again.... _

_Because I believe our love is forever   
And neither time nor distance   
Can take you away from me! _

_I miss you!   
I will love you for now and for always - remember that! _

_D __xxx_

Tears ran down his cheeks freely as he re-read the letter. He sighed as he remembered her excitement of his surprise. Less than 48 hours ago they had been blissfully happy. So happy that he had whilst out shopping bought her something else, something she had had suspicions about with the first surprise.

He folded it twice and slipped it into an envelope and sealed it with a kiss. He placed it back down on the table and walked away, and as he was escorted away back to his cell he glanced over his shoulder to see Roderick opening the letter and smirking. Bowing his head he continued to walk, a defeated man.

* * *

"Can you stop here please?" Lauren asked nervously as the meter showed she was almost at her limit. 

"We're two blocks from your destination and it isn't right for you to be walking these streets at night missy." The cab driver turned in his seat as he pulled upto the curb.

"I know.... but I don't have any more money to pay for the fare, and I need to see my mom who is hospital."

"I see," the cab driver seemed to be thinking about something and Lauren glanced nervously at the door ready to run, if she had to. "Well I've had a good day today, so if you just give me what you have I will take you the rest of the way. Be my good deed for the day."

"Really?" Lauren said in disbelief.

"Yep, I regret not going to see my mom in hospital....had a disagreement and I didn't forgive her. Well I never got to forgive her. But anyway, I don't want to see a young one such as yourself be troubled with that kind of burden." He stopped the meter as he spoke. "So I'll take you all the way, keep you safe."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

Lauren smiled and settled back into the seat. Feeling extremely lucky. As they pulled up at the hospital Lauren reached in her bag for her money. The cab driver smiled and flicked the meter.

"Well would you look at that," Lauren looked up, trying to hold down the fear that he had in fact charged her the full fare and so didn't quite take in the empty meter gage. "Looks like I forgot to turn it on." Lauren smiled at the lopsided grin on the drivers face. "Don't think you need to search for your money now miss." The driver winked at her.

"But I have to give you something. I mean, you've been so kind and everything."

"Everybody deserves a bit of luck every now and then, and with your mom in here, I guess I am it."

"I don't believe it." Lauren laughed.

"What?"

"There really are guardian angels in this world." The driver smiled warmly at her.

"High praise, now that's enough with the thanks.... now off to see your mom."

"Yes sir." Lauren climbed out of the cab and stayed by the curb waving until he was out of sight.

* * *

Vincent looked at Peter and stopped pacing. "Peter, you should go home and get some rest." 

"No, I need to be here."

"Peter mate, you've been here pretty much since they brought her in. You must be tired. We can't see her again until tomorrow and I can stay. I only really just got here."

"She might need me."

"I'm here and if she needs you I can always call."

"Come on honey. He's right. Plus I think we need to get the kids to bed." Peter looked at Gillian and then at the two sleeping boys.

"Fine." Peter gave into the wave of exhaution that swept over him.

He bent to pick up Ned when the doors opened and Lauren walked in.

"Lauren what are you doing here?"

"Uncle Vincent!" She ran upto him and hugged him.

"Lauren how did you get here? Where's your dad?"

"He's at home."

"You mean he just dropped you off outside, I swear if that man.... he's not fit to be a father."

_"Peter, not in front of her."_ Gillian hissed.

"He doesn't know I'm here. As far as he's concerned I am still in my room, sulking."

"Why were you sulking?"

"Because he refused to bring me home, saying I was home at that I would be safer with him."

"So safe you walked out on your own."

"I'm not a baby you know." Lauren pouted. "I got a cab, and - I didn't have to pay anything for it."

"What do you mean you didn't have to pay for it? What did you do? You didn't run off did you?"

"No, the guy said he regrets not going to see his mom when she was in hospital, and so it was like his good deed for the day."

"He didn't touch you did he?"

"No he didn't." Lauren turned away from Peter and back to Vincent. "So, where's mom?"

"Peter I think it's time for us to leave." Gillian put a hand on his arm. "There's nothing more we can do here and now Amy has Vincent and Lauren."

"But...."

"Come on." Peter picked up Ned and the four of them left.

 Vincent watched them walk through the double doors before he spoke again. "You know you turn into your mom more everyday."

"Hey." Lauren playfully punched his arm.

"No seriously, your mom used to sneak out all the time. Usually to be with a guy though. Not to go visiting people in hospital."

"I'm building up to that." Lauren grinned at Vincents face.

* * *

David sat watching cops walking past his cell, occasionally glancing in disgust at him. But for the most part they left him alone. He had tried to sleep several times but the image of Amy on the bathroom floor was haunting him. He didn't even know if she was alive. They had refused to tell him anything, and it wasn't helping with his mood.

* * *

As the sun rose for the new day Lauren woke up. She had fallen asleep on the hard chairs and her neck was stiff from using Vincent as a pillow. She stretched and yawned, before shaking him awake. 

"Uncle Vincent can we see mom now?"

"Hmmmphhyup nuh ffee."

"What?" She waited till his eyes were open before asking again. "What was that?"

"Get me some coffee."

"Ok," she got up and started to walk away. "Where from?"

"Don't worry I'll get it. You stay here." Lauren sat back down and settled in the chair.

Soon after he left a doctor went into Amy's room, then came towards her.

"Do you happen to know where a Mr Gray is?"

"Which one?"

"Um," he looked confused.

"Well both my uncle's were her last night. One went home with my aunt and the other one is getting coffee."

"And who might you be then?"

"Lauren Cassidy."

"And what relation are you?"

"Her daughter."

"But her name is Gray."

"My mom and dad are divorced and I have my dad's name."

"I see, well I'm afraid I can't let you go see her till your uncle comes back and confirms who you are."

"Why?"

"Security reasons."

"That sucks."

"Sorry, that's the rules." Lauren glared at the doctor as he walked away.

* * *

"Now no speaking today please. We want your throat to heal and if you talk it could affect that process." Amy nodded at the nurse changing her dressing. "Try not to move your head dear, it could stretch the stiches and we don't want you getting a nasty scar now do we?" Amy just stared at her. Not knowing how she reply to that. "Right well, I believe that your daughter is here, but we are waiting on one of her uncle's to confirm she is in fact related." Amy's eyes widened and she felt a wave of fraustration wash over her at her inability to speak. "So if she is, she could be in here in about half an hour. Now who would you want to see first? Your brother or your daughter?" Amy just stared at her. "Oh yes right, hold up one finger for brother and two fingers for your daughter." Amy held up one finger. "Ok, we'll send him in as soon as he gets back from getting some coffee." The nurse smiled before walking out, leaving Amy alone again.

* * *

"Why do you get to see her first? You saw her last night. I haven't seen her for over 2 weeks!" Lauren whined. 

"I'm sorry Lauren, she asked for me to go in first."

"But it's not fair."

"I know." Vincent sighed.

"If she tries to tell you not to let me visit her, just agree and let me go anyway."

"I will, I don't think it would be fair not to let you see her. But she can't speak anyway."

"Thank you. You're now my favourite uncle." Lauren smiled.

"I thought I was anyway." Vincent said looking hurt. Lauren almost fell for it till she saw the corners of his mouth tug up into a grin.

"Nope Uncle Peter always won by a long shot. He has a guitar you know. That makes him cool." She retorted playfully.

"Hey!" Lauren laughed.

* * *

"Hey sis, did you have a good night? My neck is killing me. When I woke up my leg was dead, Laurens head had been on it all night." Vincent sat on the chair next to the bed. "You know Michael doesn't even know she's here." He saw the look on her face and so continued. "She is just like you, sneaking out," he paused with a grin on his face. "Although she hasn't quite got the hang of it, I mean she snuck out to see you not some boy." He laughed as he saw the slight relief on her face. 

"But she got a cab here, all by herself and the cabby didn't even charge her. Something about regretting not going to see his mom at one time and so it was his way of making up for it. His good deed of the day as he called it." He patted her hand. "Now Lauren is going to come in, in a minute." Amy shook her head slightly. "She is coming in. Be fair Amy, she hasn't seen you for over 2 weeks. Anyway she will be coming in but she isn't allowed to stay for long. Then we will be going home ok? We will be back later, but we need to get some actual food, hospital food is just.... it's just not human to make somebody eat it. _Don't worry I'll sneak you something back_." He stood up, kissed her forehead and then left.

Lauren ran in soon after. "Hiya mom, I'm glad you are ok, daddy was being well nasty. He wouldn't let me come, but I waited till he wasn't paying attention to me then I grabbed my stuff and ran. I met this really cool cabby and he didn't make me pay for my fare, he was well nice! He said he was my luck for the day, that I needed a bit because of my mom being in here." She paused for breath and Amy smiled at her. "I think it's funny you aren't allowed to speak. It means I can say what I want and you can't tell me off."

_"Don't forget I will soon be able to get out of here."_ Amy croaked.

"Hey you aren't allowed to speak. You aren't following doctors orders." Lauren laughed. "You aren't doing what you're told." Amy glared at her, then smiled. "Has Victor come to see you yet?"

_"No."_ Amy croaked, with a pained expression on her face._ "Where's David?"_

"He's gone."

_"Everyone keeps telling me that. Where is he? Did he run?"_

"He didn't run. He was, well he, he's not going anywhere for a while."

_"Lauren this is no time to start acting like an adult. Be the kid you are and spill."_

"I won't take offense at that seen as where you are, but well.... he's been arrested."

_"Why?"_

"For Kelly's murder, and.... yours."

_"But I'm not dead, and he didn't kill Kelly."_

"They say he tried to...." Lauren started to cry. A stark difference to the way she had been just a few minutes earlier. "That he wrote on the mirror with your, with your blood. That he...."

_"What was on the mirror?"_

"I'm back." It suddenly came together, everything that he had said and everything that was done to her. She finally understood. He mouth opened and closed several times not sure of how to comfort her. But before she could say anymore the nurse came back in.

"I hope you haven't been speaking Miss Gray, it will not do for you to lose your voice. Expecially with your job." Amy glared at her, hoping she would leave but she carried on around the room in seemingly meaningless tasks. Lauren managed to stop crying and looked up at her mother.

"Mom, I don't know whether to go see D or not. I mean...." But she was interrupted by the doors bursting open.


	43. Visits

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 43: Visits**

Michael walked up to Lauren and grabbed her arm roughly. "HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME! I told you to go to your room and stay there. I told you that you couldn't come here and that you couldn't leave." He started to drag Lauren away from the bedside. "I told you...."

Lauren struggled to get away from his grip. "YOU ALSO TOLD ME THAT I WOULDN'T GET TO SEE HER! What is it exactly that I am doing now? Huh? Seeing the Pope? No, I am seeing mom, talking to mom, being here with mom. Now get off me!"

Michael slapped her, and instantly regretted it. _"Michael!"_ Amy croaked out, wishing desperately she could defend Lauren. But her voice went un-noticed.

"I'm so sorry honey," he released his hold of her. "I didn't mean to. It's just...." Lauren backed away from him.

"Get away from me."

"Honey please. I didn't mean to, I just I...."

"There is no excuse for your behaviour sir. Will you please leave." The nurse stood in front of Lauren.

"I'm her father and I am not leaving till I get her to come with me."

"Mr Cassidy. I do believe she has asked you to leave her be. She is with her mom, and her uncle is outside. You have no president here. Please could you leave before I am forced to call security." Michael looked from the nurse to Lauren and back again. Realising he was defeated he left, but not before noticing the sadness, shock and pity that were in Amy's eyes.

* * *

Vincent looked up in shock to see Michael storm out of Amy's room. He had for some reason neglected to notice him entering and was panicked. He walked to Amy's room to see the nurse checking Lauren's cheek. 

"What did he do?"

"Nothing." Lauren returned. Not looking Vincent in the eye.

"Lauren he hit you didn't he?" No response.

"He is such a bastard! He deserves everything he gets." Vincent stormed out and tried to catch up to Michael. As he ran out of the hospital he was just in time to notice Michael's car screeching out of the car park. "Bastard!"

* * *

"Now then, it doesn't seem that bad. Just hold this ice on it and hopefully you won't get a bruise." The nurse gently examined Lauren's cheek. 

"A bruise, I can't have a bruise. Not on my face. All my friends at school are going to stop talking to me."

"Now why would they do that? Besides anyone who does, just isn't worth speaking to anyway, and is not a true friend." The nurse smiled at Lauren and held out the ice to her. "Now, you can call me Nicola, as I will be your mom's nurse for a while, you might as well call me by my name."

"Ok thank you Nicola."

"Would you like some juice?"

"Yes please."

"Ok, you just wait right there, I'll be right back." Nicola walked to the door flashing Amy a smile as she left. Lauren turned to Amy.

"I don't have to see daddy if I don't want to do I?"

_"No, but you don't have to make that decisions yet noodle."_

"I don't want to see him anymore." Lauren smiled at Amy. "It just means I get to spend more time with you, at home." Amy grinnedbefore wincing.

_"I love you noodle."_

"I love you to." Lauren wrapped her arms around her and Amy tried hard not to moan in pain.

* * *

"Lauren what are you doing back here. I thought you were with your father." 

"I was. Then he started acting like a jerk and now I am never speaking to him again." Maxine hadn't noticed the hand print on her face upto that point.

"How did you get that?"

"How do you think. I got slapped."

"Lauren." She said in a warning tone.

"Daddy."

"Michael...." Maxine took a deep breath to calm herself. "God I always hated him."

"Well now I do too."

"Now don't talk like that Lauren."

"No, I'm serious."

Victor walked out of the family room. "Hi L."

"Hey Victor. Have you been to see mom yet?"

"No. We haven't left."

"I'll leave you two to talk." Maxine walked away.

"Is mom ok?"

"Yeah, she's not allowed to speak but she does anyway."

"Oh. That's bad isn't it?"

"I don't know. But I mean nobody had told her about D. They had just told her that he wasn't around."

"They were trying not to stress her out anymore."

"I told her."

"What! We were all told not to tell!"

"I know, but she thought he had donea runner. I couldn't let her think he had abandoned her again."

"He never abandoned her. He went to think."

"Whatever anyway, so I told her."

"Well at least she knows. Was she upset?"

"Yeah, she said he didn't kill her or Kelly." Victor winced.

"Well he obviously didn't kill her. She was talking to you."

"I know, that's what she said."

"Are you going to go see my dad?"

"I don't know. Are you going?"

"Yeah later on today." Victor tapped his pocket for a while before he looked back at Lauren. "Will you come with me? I mean it will mean everything to my dad if he knows you believe he didn't do it."

"I don't know, I mean prison must be pretty scary."

"Yeah but we aren't in it. Imagine how my dad feels."

"Suppose."

"So you'll come?"

"Yeah, why not."

"Cool."

* * *

"McClaren." David looked up. "Get up, you have visitors." His face brightened and he quickly walked up to the door. "Follow me." Roderick said as he finished putting on the handcuffs. 

David sat behind the glass screen and waited. Soon Lauren and Victor sat down in front of him and Victor held the phone inbetween them.

"Hey dad, can you hear us with it like this. Or are we gonna have to take turns.

"No, no I'm fine, I can hear you."

"Are you ok in here dad? Is it scary?"

"No, just depressing. How's Amy? They won't tell me."

"She's fine. She's been awake since last night.Lauren's been to see her." David turned from Victor to Lauren. It was then that he noticed her face, which she was trying to hide with her hair.

"What happened to your face Lauren?"

"My dad."

"Your dad did that to you?!"

"Yes. When I refused to leave mom. He did it in front of her and she couldn't do anything. I mean she's not even allowed to speak."

"What happened to him?"

"Nicola asked him to leave."

"Who's Nicola?"

"Mom's nurse. She's really nice. She got me some ice to hold on my face and then she went and got me some juice."

"Does she know I'm here?"

"Yeah, I told her." She saw David's face change. "I'm sorry but she thought that you had run or something and I didn't want her thinking that!"

"Oh, ok." David hung his head.

"She doesn't understand why you are here. She doesn't understand why you were charged."

"Because of Roderick."

"Who?"

"Nobody, but if you tell your mom she will understand."

"I hate it when adults do that."

"Sorry Lauren, even if you did know you wouldn't be able to do anything anyway. Neither will your mom really, but she does have some power with this sort of thing."

"Whatever." Lauren became silent.

"So when are you getting out dad?" It was David's turn to be silent, and he turned away from them. "Dad?"

"I don't know son. I honestly don't know."

"Maybe we should tell the newspapers. You know that you have been locked up when you haven't done anything."

"That wouldn't work, they already printed that I was guilty and happened to get away on a technicality.

"But it would sell papers, I mean they change their view on things all the time."

"I suppose. But don't. Eventually they will get hold of the story anyway, I don't want you two to be involved in this. Ok?"

"Fine."

"Promise."

"Fine we promise."

"Cross fingers, legs, toes or any other limb do not count."

"Fine."

"Ok. Well how is everyone else?"

"They are ok. Especially now mom is awake. They were pretty stressed before."

"I can imagine."

"Uncle Peter is stressed at you saying it is your fault. That a whole load of bad stuff has happened since she's been going out with you."

"Well I can't help that Lauren but most of it is a coincidence. I mean Stu had nothing to do with me."

"What about Stu?"

"Shit.... just about that whole thing and everything else. But it is not because of me or anyone else other than the bad people who want to hurt your mom and me."

"Ok, whatever."

* * *

Gillian walked in to Amy's room and saw her staring at nothing in particular, but looking extremely tensed as if she had a tough decision to make. 

"Amy, are you ok?" She gently touched her hand.

Amy slowly turned to her, but her eyes were glassy with emotion. _"I can't read the letter."_

"What letter?"

_"The letter from David."_

Gillian paused, looking at the clutched letter in Amy's hand. "Do you want me to read it to you?"

_"Thank you Gillian."_ Amy replied quietly, and with difficulty turned her head away as she held out the letter.

"Ok, here goes:

_Dear my love,_

_As I sit alone, I remember all those beautiful moments we spent together...._

_I miss the soft touch of your hand....  
I miss spending hours with you - doing nothing - yet loving it....  
And I'm waiting till we can meet again...._

_Because I believe our love is forever  
And neither time nor distance  
Can take you away from me!_

_I miss you!  
I will love you for now and for always - remember that!_

_D xxx_"

Amy burst into tears. _"I, I...."_

"Amy what's wrong?" Gillian full of concern squeezed her hand.

_"Gillian I can't do this any more."_

"Do what anymore?" Amy was silent, trying desperately to control her sobs. But Gillian could see her lip trembling, as she bit it in an effort of control. "You don't have to tell me Amy, but you have to tell someone.... this is eating you up inside. You need to.... I don't know, but you need to get help for all that has happened to you. You didn't speak to anybody about what happened to you, you need to get it out of your system, or it could make you ill. Please, for Lauren's sake." She closed her eyes and waited for Amy to respond.

_"I can't do **this** any more. I can't keep getting hurt. I can't keep my.... my secret any more."_

"What secret?"

Amy paused and blinked back the tears in her eyes. _"I keep getting flashbacks."_

"Flashbacks? Of what?"

_"Of when Stu.... had me...."_ Tears rolled down her cheeks and Amy stopped trying to control them and sobbed freely.

"Oh Amy I'm so sorry...."

_"No Gillian you don't understand. I don't see.... I don't see Stu doing those things, I see D, D, David."_


	44. Help Is Here

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 44: Help Is Here**

Gillian stared in shock, repeating what Amy had revealed in her head. Trying to figure out if she had misheard. "What was that?"

_"I see David."_

"Are you sure? I mean, um, has he ever done anything to you? Has he given you any reason to think that way?"

_"No."_

"Then why?"

_"If I knew that Gillian I would be able to solve it and get rid of the flashbacks. But being with him, when are together. I just, I don't know. I just can't. I can't keep this up." _Amy pulled the promise ring off her finger and handed it to Gillian. _"Can you give this to him, please."_

Gillian took the ring and looked at it carefully, when she realised what it was she handed it back. "No!"

_"What?" _She asked shocked at Gillian's cold response.

"No, I will not give David the promise ring back. You accepted it so you can give it back to him."

_"I can't Gill, please. For me."_

"This is something I will not do for you Amy, anything else. But I will not hurt somebody who doesn't deserve it. It's not right. You're just scared. You need help to fight that feeling."

_"I'm not scared."_

"Don't argue Amy. You are scared and you know it." Gillian squeezed Amy's hand. "You always put on such a brave face. I don't know how you do it, but with everything that has happened, I really think that you should let your guard down, and my advice to you is not to end things with David. At least not yet, you are letting things get on top of you. You are running from your problems." She held up her hand as Amy attempted to interrupt. "No, don't even try, you were so harsh on David when he ran away, and yet you do it nearly every day. You are always running, and now your body is telling you to stop. That it is the end of the line, and you are ignoring it. As if you would carry on to build your own, just so you don't have to see what is following you, what it is you are running from. But you need to be silent. You need to understand that it is time to face everything and everyone, and let yourself feel. I know that Michael hurt you, and I also know that is when you completely closed yourself to the world. You need to harness that emotion and let yourself cry. Let othersbe there for you, but most importantly let others comfort you. Until you can do that, don't make any important decisions, such as with David." She took a deep breath to recover from her speech and watched Amy's face as she registered what had been said. "Ok?"

_"Ok." _Amy bit her lip and tried to block the image on **that** confrontation from her head.

* * *

David paced his cell. He couldn't understand what was taking so long. He couldn't understand how, if Amy was awake she wouldn't tell them he was innocent. Unless she doesn't remember. Or unless she doesn't want me to get out. But why would she want that. 

"David." He stopped pacing and looked up.

"Abner, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here as your attorney."

"But you can't be, you don't do that anymore."

"David for you, for everything you've been through, I would walk through fire. You don't deserve this. You are a good man."

"Why am I still here?"

"They still think you did it."

"But Amy...."

"She hasn't been spoken to. The doctors won't allow it, they say she needs more time to recover."

"But...."

"I know, don't worry. I am going to go see her. So I can get the heads up. Although it's family only so, I will be known as Uncle Abner." He chuckled, but became serious again upon seeing David's face. "I'm sorry. I will get you out of here. I promise."

"Don't make promises you know you can't keep."

"David please, be a bit optimistic. It would make my job a bit easier."

"Sorry, slightly hard." He gestered to the room.

"I'm going to try and fix this.... and when I do.....Roderick Jones will wish he had never been born!"

* * *

"Hey mom." Victor walked calmly upto Amy's bed and slipped his hand into hers. 

_"Hey Victor."_

"Have they spoken to you yet?"

_"Who?"_

"The cops."

_"Why would they be speaking to me?"_

"Cause of dad, they still haven't let him out."

_"What? Why? They should have by now."_ Amy chewed her lip nervously, hoping that David was ok. The fact that he was still not released was a bad sign. It meant they weren't looking for the real culprit.

"They think he did it, and as there is no proof to say otherwise."

_"What do you mean?"_

"There is no fingerprints or anything. Anywhere."

_"Victor I'm so sorry."_

"It's not your fault. Besides, I've done enough crying. It is time for me to be the man of the house with dad gone. I have to look after you and L."

_"Oh honey you don't have to do that. There is the rest of the family as well."_

"No! I will do it."

_"Honey, if you really want to, but don't worry about me. Worry about Lauren, she needs you, and I can't be there for her, but you can."_

"But what about you?"

_"I'm fine."_

"You don't sound fine!"

_"I have my mom to look after me."_

"She hasn't even been to visit you yet." Amy looked away, it was true. She hadn't come, hadn't even called.

_"She's still there for me. So you just look after Lauren for me."_

"Are you sure? Because I can do it you know. I can be there for the both of you."

_"I know you can honey. I'm not saying you can't, I'm just saying don't make it your responsibility. You don't need that right now."_

"When are you coming home mom?"

_"I don't know." Nicola walked in and started fussing with the flowers on the side._

"Hope you aren't speaking too much."

_"No, not too much. Just enough."_

"Well now, who's this handsome young man?"

_"Victor."_

"Your son?"

"No, she's dating my dad."

"Ah, well now, you are lucky to have her in your life then."

"I know." Victor looked away then back at Nicola. "When can mom come home?"

Slightly taken aback at him calling Amy mom, she recovered and walked over to Amy's file. "Um, she can leave tomorrow if the doctor says she is fine, and she feels upto it. I don't see any reason why she won't be able to though."

_"If that's true, why is it only family can visit?"_

"Because of your.... accident. The implications of it on your life. So by saying family only, it lessons the risk of anybody getting in that shouldn't actually be allowed in."

_"Oh. That's a good idea I guess."_

"The doctor will be coming in later, he will be giving you your last check up. Then he will decide whether or not you can go home tomorrow."

_"Ok, thank you."_ Nicola checked around the room again before leaving.

"She was nice."

_"I know.... is Lauren here?"_

"No, she was helping Mrs Kozlowski with something."

_"Donna was round?"_

"Yeah, she brought Ariadne round and L started fussing."

_"Oh right."_

"Mr Van Exel came too, with Rebecca. Too many girls."

_"Who brought you?"_

"Mr Van Exel. He agreed there were too many girls and offered to bring me here."

_"Can you ask him to come in?"_

"But only family is allowed."

_"I know, but I also know who did this to me and it wasn't him. So he is safe."_

"Are you sure?"

_"Yes."_

Victor gave her a hug and then left. It was a few minutes before Bruce entered though because Nicola had been hanging around the doors and he didn't want to be told he couldn't go in.

"Hey trouble."

_"Hey. I hear you chickened out of being in a housefull of girls."_

"I didn't chicken out, I was being nice and offered to bring Victor here to see you."

_"Yeah, yeah."_

"So how are you doing?"

_"Ok, I should be able to leave tomorrow."_

"That soon?"

_"Yeah, I can speak and swallow, eat food etc. The only thing wrong with me was some bruises and a slit throat."_ Bruce grimaced. _"Sorry."_

"That's fine. I thought it was weird that Lauren didn't seem too stressed."

_"How is my mom?"_

"She's.... herself." Bruce smiled. "Hasn't she been to see you?"

_"No, I don't think she wanted to be here again. Too many bad things have happened."_

"True."

_"So.... are you going to sit down, or are you going to stand there like some ornament?"_

"I'll sit." He walked over and sat on the seat, gently taking Amy's hand in his. "I can't believe you're back in here."

_"I know what you're thinking, but don't you dare say it."_

"I wasn't thinking anything."

_"Course you weren't and it had nothing to do with David or how I seem to be alot more vulnerable since I've been with him."_

"I'm insulted." Bruce looked away. "Why would you think anything like that?"

_"Bruce, I know you.... don't insult my intelligence."_

"Sorry." He looked back at her. "I can't help it."

_"What.... insult my intelligence?"_

Bruce chuckled. "Not much wrong with you really, is there?"

_"Nope."_

"Too bad." Amy smiled.

_"I will forget you said that."_

"What.... too bad?" He dodged away from her expecting her to lash out, but she was still.

_"Hey, look let's just drop it shall we?"_

"Fine, but only cause you're in here."

_"What do you mean?"_

"I thought we were dropping this!"

_"We were.... are."_

"Ok, so how have you been?" He looked around the room and noticed a ring on the side. His heart felt like someone was squeezing it as he reached out and picked it up. He turned it over and he felt slightly relieved. _'It's just a promise ring, I haven't lost her yet.'_

_"Bruce are you ok?"_

_"Yeah."_ He cleared his throat. "Yes, I'm fine."

_"It's just a promise ring."_

"I know." He looked up at her. "Why aren't you wearing it?"

_"I had an x-ray and had to take it off."_

"Liar."

_"Am not."_

"Put it on then."

_"I can't."_

"What's up?"

_"My hands are swollen."_

"That's BS and you know it!"

_"I just can't.... ok?"_

"What's wrong Amy?" He gripped her hand and put the ring back on the side. "Come on you can tell me. We are friends remember, you always confide in me."

_"But it's about my love life."_ Amy tried to grin but burst into tears.

"Hey, hey. I said I would be there for you, always. If that means that you need to talk about your love life than it's fine with me. I just don't want to get all the gossip, I'm not comfortable in the girlfriend role." He was sub-consciously brushing her palm in a circular motion with his thumb. "Stop crying, please." He reached round her and pulled her into a hug. He rocked her gently and waited for her to calm. Finally she sniffed and went quiet but he could hear in her breath that she wasn't finished. The occasional sharp intake of breath that threatened to turn into a sob. His heart ached for her, and he wished he could make it all better for her.

_"I've been getting flashbacks."_ He remained silent so she could continue without interruption._ "I've been getting flashbacks from when Stu...."_ Bruce tightened his hold on her. Stroking her back gently. _"But, but, I don't see Stu, I don't see him. I see, I see David." _He felt her tense with the strain of not crying.

"Let go Amy, you need to let go." She relaxed a bit, but when she started to sob she tensed up again. "Amy, come on. You always do this. You always let out a little then stop yourself. You need to let it all out. You need to free yourself from all your emotional baggage. Come on. It's only me in here. I promise I will buy you a nice, cold beer if you do." She went loose in his arms as her tears ran freely, he held her tight and carried on rocking her. Finally she stopped, and sighed. Her breathing became slow and rhythmic and as he laid her back on the bed he noticed she had fallen asleep. "Guess you've been holding that in a long time hey." He kissed her forehead and walked to the door. _"I still love you, and I always will."_ Bruce sighed and walked out of the room, to be met by an angry nurse and "Abner, what are you doing here?"

"Mr Van Exel, could you please explain to this **nurse**, that I am Amy's uncle and I need to see her urgently." Abner tilted his head meaningfully.

"She's asleep."

"Damn it." He looked at his shoes then back at Bruce. "How did you get in if you aren't family?"

"I um...."

"He must have sneaked in when I wasn't looking." Nicola snapped and hurried into Amy's room to check on her. She was soon back out. "She doesn't look like she will be awake for a while. She looks exhausted!" She looked at Bruce suspisciously, but he met her eye defiantly so she walked off in a huff.

"Did you speak to her?"

"Yes, did she say anything about David?"

"No." Bruce knew it was a lie but he didn't like the way Abner was speaking.

"Did she anything to you about what happened?"

"No." He breathed easier, this time he had told the truth.

"Damn. I was hoping to get to speak to her before the cops do."

"Well when are they speaking to her?"

"As soon as she gets out."

"That's tomorrow." Bruce leant against the wall.

"Right."

"Why do you need to speak to her?"

"I'm Mr McClaren's defence attorney."

"You don't do that any more."

"Which everyone seems to take delight in telling me. I do 'do that' just only when it is a rough case and I like to take a back seat, an extra pair of eyes if you will. But I wish everyone would stop pointing that out."

"So is there that much evidence against David then?"

"No, there is just alot of power against him."

"Same thing really."

"We really shouldn't be talking about this."

"Obviously."

"God you are the jerk David said you were."

"McClaren called me a jerk?"

"Well not in so many words. But yes."

"Whatever I don't have time for this." Bruce walked over to where Victor was sitting. "Come on mate, time to go back to the girlies."

"Excuse me.... are you looking after Victor?"

"No, Amy's mother is. I just brought him here."

* * *

"McClaren." Roderick stood over David and kicked the poor excuse for a bed. "McClaren." 

"Huh?" David sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Somehow you have managed to weasel your way into getting bail. The fact that you are being charged with murder just doesn't seem to have the effect it should, anymore."

"Really?" He sat up, hope building in his chest.

"No I was joking." Roderick walked out laughing and slammed the door behind him.

"Jerk." David lay back down, trying to get to sleep. He suddenly heard alot of commotion and jumped up trying to see what was going on.

"No, it's not right."

"Look I just heard what you did to him, that's an abuse of power, and now I am here for him."

"Do you have the paper work?"

"Yes. Here."

"But, but...."

"Shut up Rod and go get him. You'll just get yourself suspended again."

"Fine. Wait here!"

David could see Roderick storming towards his cell, and he quickly moved back to the bed.

"McClaren, seems my joke had an undesirable effect. It came true. Get up, now!"

David didn't wait to be asked twice and ran out the door. "Abner, how did you...?

"Not here. Come." Abner hurried out of the station and David followed after grabbing his stuff.

After they were quite a distance away from the station, Abner finally spoke.

"Look, I know you didn't do it, and I'm not the only one. It seems it is only Roderick and one more officer. It was not enough to keep you there and the trial has been postponed."

"But it was tomorrow."

"Since when has that ever stopped a judge from postponing it?"

"True, but I was also held on murder charges."

"They will be gone by tomorrow."

"They will? How?"

"Amy is released from hospital tomorrow."

"She is? Is she ok?"

"I believe so." Abner tapped the wheel as he impatiently waited at a junction.

"I thought you were going to speak to her?"

"It was family only."

"Oh.... but Victor isn't family."

"Don't know about that, calling Amy mom and all."

"How do you...." David's head snapped round.

"Nicola was very talkative. Especially when you are arguing with her."

"You questioned her about Victor huh?"

"Yeah, although Mr Van Exel managed to get in to see her."

"He did? How, damn that man."

"David.... what's wrong?"

"Nothing, it just seems that whenever Amy is in trouble I can never comfort her and **he** is there. He comforts her, never me."

"But she isn't with him, she's with you."

"Don't go there Abner. Don't even bother. I have been there and it did nothing for me." David sat back and looked around. "Where are we going?"

"To the hospital."

"But...."

"We must see her. She was asleep when I left, she should be awake now." Abner gripped the wheel tightly and sped up. "She will see us first."

"She will see us first? What are you talking about?"

"The cops are talking to her tomorrow."

"What does it matter if they talk to her first. I am innocent."

"Yes but so far she hasn't said anything. Which could mean she doesn't remember, in which case you are in big trouble."

"Thanks for the optimism."

"Changed your tune now. Anyway the judge owed me a favour. We need to see this through if he is to be happy with his decision. I don't want to lose any enemy."

"I understand. Thank you for calling in your favour."

"No problem mate. You have done more than enough for me in your time, and Amy is helping you get to be yourself. She has made a huge difference in your life whether you realise it or not." David smiled and looked nervously up, as they drew closer to the hospital.


	45. Honey Made Tears

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 45: Honey Made Tears**

"What if she won't speak to me?" David walked slowly.

"She will, I mean why wouldn't she?"

"I don't know, I have some weird feeling."

"Tell it to go away." Abner smiled at David's nervous face.

"My feelings?"

"Shut up will you." Abner slapped him on the back.

"Sorry."

Abner stopped and grabbed David's arm. "Look I have seen the way she looks at you. She loves you. Trust me."

"Be that as it may, she can be stubborn and if she doesn't want to speak to me, she won't speak to me."

"Come on David, have a little faith."

"Just drop it will you. We won't know till we get to her." They carried on walking and soon made it to Amy's room.

* * *

"Amy, this is a beautiful ring. You should put it back on. I keep almost knocking it off, and it could accidently get thrown away." Nicola held

"Hmm...."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She wasn't willing to tell Nicola something she had only told a few people. "Hand it _over_."

"That's better." Nicola smiled at her as she slipped the ring back on. "Suits you."

"_So_ _it_ seems." Nicola fussed aroud a bit more.

"Glad your voice is getting better?"

"Yeah, though it's _annoying_ it keeps_ cutting_ out." Amy's face was screwed up in fraustration.

"To be expected. You need to drink plenty of fluids."

"I know. _Can I be alone_ please?"

"Sure. If you need anything, you know how to get me. Just press that button right there."

"Thank you." Amy sighed in relief as she left. But her peace didn't last long, she heard an argument outside and then, "David!"

"Oh honey! I'm so sorry." David ran over to the bed and she could see his eyes filling with tears."I should have waited, we could have gone together. I was just.... I wanted us to be together, I wanted everything to be perfect for you. I wanted...."

"David, _stop_."

"I'm sorry."

"I'm.... I.... I...." David leant down and kissed her gently on the lips.

"You don't have to speak yet. Abner just has to try and get in here. Without Nicola stopping him, but it just never works. He tried earlier, called himself your uncle, but she didn't fall for it. Suppose that's a good thing really, means you don't have to worry about anybody coming in here."

"David...." Abner forced his way through the doors with Nicola closely following."

"Amy I'm sorry, he insisted on seeing you. Is it ok?"

"Yeah _why not_." Amy muttered.

"Amy we...." Abner turned to Nicola. "Can you leave please. This is a private conversation."

"Fine." Nicola glanced at Amy who nodded, she then left.

"What _is_ it?"

"As David's attorney...." seeing Amy's face he paused. "Don't bother, I have had enough explaining this to everyone. I do still get my hands 'dirty'. Alright? Anyway, as his attorney I need to speak to you about your attack. I need you to tell me, us what happened."

"I can't."

"Amy please."

"You're _out though_. I _don't_ understand."

"He called a favour in with the judge."

"Right." Amy rolled her eyes.

"Please Amy, was it David?"

Amy's eyes became wide and she sat up slowly. "What?"

"Did you get attacked by David?"

Amy looked at David then back at Abner. "Didn't_ he tell you_?"

"I need to hear it from you."

"It wasn't him, it was _somebody employed_ by Dominic_ Hill_. A _boy I put_ away, a while _ago_."

"It is the same man who attacked Kelly."

"What?"

"It seems he has been rather busy and enjoyed the extra link that he could make obviously. So much so he wrote on the mirror _I'm back!_"

"Honey, I know this must be hard but you need to tell us what happened."

"Why? Don't _the cops_ need to ask me_ these_ things?"

"Yes, but they aren't going to get to see you till tomorrow. We wanted to be ahead of the prosecution."

"Geese give a girl a chance to recover."

"Sorry honey." David picked up her hand with the promise ring and played with it. "We really need you to tell us."

"Amy, I know that this will be hard but you have to do this.... for David."

"_What about_ me? What _about what's_ for _me_?"

"Amy, David may not make it out without your help."

"He didn't _do it_. That's _all you need_ to know."

"Honey, we need to know what he said to you. What he looked like."

"I can't tell you. I can't do that. I _won't put myself_ through that."

"Amy...."

"NO!"

"You're going to have to do it tomorrow anyway."

"Then I will _do it tomorrow_ but I will _not do it twice_."

"Amy please. I need you. I need for you to do this. Kelly wasn't given this opportunity, she never got the chance to help justice be served. You do, you have the chance to get this guy put away, where he can never hurt anybody ever again. Never hurt me or you. Please you can't not do anything. Think of Victor."

"I _won't be_ doing nothing._ I will be waiting till_ tomorrow. _Reciting what happened once_. Just once."

"Apart from when it goes to trial and you are required to repeat and again and again and again."

"Enough."

"Honey...."

"Fine, _but I will say it once_, and only once _so listen_ carefully."

"Oh I will, plus I have this." Abner waved a recording device with his finger ready to press the recording button.

"Neat." David exclaimed.

"Typical man with his gadgets. _Doesn't care how serious something_ is, if it's something he _doesn't have_ then he gets _distracted_."

"That's not fair Amy."

"Course not. _Just my sanity_ is at stake."

The room was engulphed in silence, till Amy finally spoke.

"Well...."

"Sorry, whenever you are ready." Abner placed the recorder on the table beside Amy.

"Ok," taking a deep breath, she began. Her voice wavered and occasionally she stopped, only to have her hand squeezed in encouragement by David.

* * *

"Grandma, when is mom coming home?" 

"Tomorrow, if the doctor says everything is ok, she will be coming home tomorrow."

"How come you didn't go and visit her?" Lauren sat chewing her pencil, whilst Maxine pottered about the kitchen fixing the evening meal.

"I was busy."

"You could have gone with Victor instead of Mr Van Exel."

"I could have done, very true but I don't think Mr Van Exel would have appreciated being with all the girls. What do you think?"

"No I suppose not." Lauren closed her book.

"Finished your homework already?"

"No, I just don't feel like doing it right now."

"Lauren if you don't do it, you're not coming with me to collect your mother."

"But...."

"No buts!"

"Fine." She threw her book back open and her eyes fell on the page but they didn't take in any of the words.

"Just like her mother. Stubborn as a...."

"I am not stubborn."

"Course not dear." Maxine smiled and carried on with her task of making dinner.

* * *

"Ready to go home?" Nicola waltzed in Amy's room. 

"No."

"What?" Nicola stopped frozen in place by her words.

"I do not want to go home."

"What? Why?"

"I am not ready to relive my story again."

"Is that what they did last night? I'm sorry I should have stopped them coming in here."

"No it was fine, but I don't want to do it again. Not yet, I can't do it. I can't do it again. I just can't do it again."

"Alright dear. Don't worry about it dear. I will speak to the doctor. But there is no problem with you staying here. Be better for you really. It will mean you can rest without speaking constantly, and guarantee's you time alone."

"Yes thank you."

"Your voice seems better as well."

"I know, I want to keep it getting better. Going home, I just know I will lose it!"

"I agree with you. I will use that as an excuse to the doctor. Exaggerate about the pain in your throat, so play along when he comes to visit. Ok?"

"Sure thing." Amy smiled at Nicola.

"What?"

"I guess I was lucky this time in more ways than one."

"How's that?"

"Well the fact that I have you, last time I was in here, I didn't exactly have the nicest of nurses."

"Well I can't say anything for the other nurses, but I feel that patients should be cared for the way I wish to be treated. I would hate it if the roles were reversed and I had a bad experience."

"Well thank you for that."

"Your welcome."

* * *

"What do you mean you aren't coming home today mom?" Lauren whined. 

"The doctor said it would be best if I stayed here for a while."

"But he said it was fine for you to come home yesturday."

"Things change." Amy looked at Maxine. "Nice to see you mom."

"Sorry I didn't come in before, but I just...."

"I understand."

"Our family has had more than it's share of bad luck."

"Uhuh."

"Mom please come home."

"Victor I'm sorry. Besides your dad is back now. Don't you want to catch up with him?"

"Did that already."

"Well I for one think it's a good idea. Means she won't be harrassed by the cops yet!"

"Guess that just leaves my family to do that for them!"

Maxine looked from David to Amy and then ushered the kids out of the room. Ignoring their complaints.

"I'm sorry honey, but you know we had to do it."

"How long did I wait for you to tell me about Kelly? I know I pushed you into telling me, but I waited first. You didn't wait, and it happened to me! To me David!"

"I'm sorry." He went to reach for her hand but she pulled it away.

"Sorry isn't good enough."

"What do you mean?" David's heart seemed to stop and everything went into slow motion. She slowly reached to the promise ring and pulled it off her finger, turned it over in her hand and raised it up to David. "No, no, no! Please, anything but that! Please." He stepped back pleading, his voice choked with the sobs he was suppressing. "Please don't. I love you."

"Take it."

"No, please."

"Take it." Amy gritted her teeth, this was harder than she thought it was going to be.

"Amy, honey, please don't do this."

"Take it, now!" Amy threw the ring and David caught it.

"Why Amy? Why are you doing this to me again? Why are you pushing me away? Tell me. Speak to me."

"Get out." Amy pushed the button beside her and Nicola rushed in. "Leave me alone." Nicola walked towards David and placed a hand on his arm.

"She asked you to leave." David wrenched his arm away from her.

_"No." _

"Sir, she asked you to leave."

"AND I SAID NO!" He gathered all the strength he had left. "You leave, I have to talk to Amy."

"David leave. I don't want to speak to you."

"You don't really have to stay do you? You are just staying to avoid me. Aren't you?" David walked back to the bed.

"If I'm honest, yes I am. Now go!" She rolled over on the bed, biting her lip to stop herself from crying. Trying desperately to stay strong, to make it easier on David, so he would think she meant it.

"Please Amy, _anything but this_." Amy could taste blood, she let go of her lip and almost cryed out.

"I'm sorry sir, but you have to leave now. Can you ask the rest of the family to leave as well. Visiting hours are over."

"There are no visiting hours."

"There are now." Nicola firmly replyed, escorting David from the room, not too soon either as Amy began to sob. Her body shaking and tears pouring down her cheeks like there was no tomorrow.

* * *

"Why were you yelling at mom?" Lauren stormed up to him as soon as he came out of the room. 

"I wasn't yelling at your mom."

"Yes you were."

"No Lauren, I was just yelling. Now leave me alone. You all have to go home. 'Visiting hours' are over." Maxine looked at Nicola who stood behind David.

"There are no visiting hours."

"I'm afraid there are, in the fact she no longer wishes to have any visitors today."

"What?"

"She no longer wants to see me." David stormed through the doors leaving a shocked Maxine to deal with the two kids.

* * *

Amy sat stiffly in the overstuffed armchair. "So is this your first time?" 

"Yes, but I have been told that I need to speak to somebody."

"About what happened?"

"People have been telling me to get couselling for a couple of years now. I have alot of.... issues."

"Well, just relax. My name is Jason, I hate my surname so please refrain from using it." Amy smiled nervously. "You can start whenever you are ready and you only have to speak about what you want to. I won't pressure you."

"Thank you." Jason waited in silence, realising that she was stuck he finally spoke.

"Do you need some help starting?"

"Yes." Amy looked away.

"Nothing to be embarrassed about, many of my clients don't know how to start. It is the hardest part. Why don't you tell me about the most recent event. Why you had to be admitted into this hospital."

"I don't think I can."

"You don't have to, but I assure you everything that is in this room is confidential."

"Till it goes to trial and you are put on the stand to say whether I am of sound mind to be able to remember who my attacker was, and who he wasn't."

"That's true, I can't deny that. Especially to a judge."

Amy sat in silence. She stared at her hands first, then around the room. She lingered on the shelf of toys, which she assumed were for his younger patients. Slowly she began talking, her voice was quiet and Jason had to listen closely. But he didn't interrupt or ask her to speak up, sheslowly sank back into the chair, as she became more relaxed.When she stopped speaking, and waited to check if she had finished. When she looked up at him, he spoke.

"Why do you think that it is David and not Stu that you see?"

"I don't know. I love David so much, and yet...."

"And yet you can't trust him like you want to."

Amy nodded. "I can't let myself go. That must sound so stupid to you, but I can't."

"You are going to have to let him."

"I know."

"And Bruce, is he somebody you trust? Even more than David?"

"Yes. I have known him longer, and we have few secrets from each other. We have helped each other through alot."

"I see. Do you think that maybe you could ever trust David like that?"

"I don't know, I guess in time I could."

"Do you think that your relationship is moving faster than you want it to?"

"Oh no, it's not that. In fact it has been the slowest moving relationship I have ever been in."

"Making it easier to escape."

"What?"

"With all your other relationships you have jumped in without looking. It moved at such a pace, that in most cases it was over before you realised it had begun. With Stu, he obviously loved you more than you loved him, which kept it going. Till you 'caught' up. Realised how far you had gone and you slammed on the brakes at the very last minute. But with David, you entered into it slowly and since then it has rarely been fast. You have been aware of everything that is going on around you, everything that is happening, and you can even look ahead with him. That scares you. It is by being scared that you keep ending it. Keep backing off. You need to use your skill at jumping into things, use that bravery to stay with him. He sounds like the guy has been through alot, and you helped him through that. But you have to let him help you. From the sounds of things he was getting ready to make a full commitment to you. You pushing him away, I hate to say it, but it probablykilled him."

Amy was stunned at what Jason had just revealed to her. It made her life suddenly seem very clear and easy to understand. But there was still one question left on her mind.

"But why do I see David instead of Stu?"

"Because you are trying to put David in a situation where you wouldn't have to carry on with him. By having David attacking you, it means you can back away from him. You don't have to reveal your self to him."

"But why don't I see Stu? It makes me feel like I blame David for what Stu did."

"And you do."

"What!"

"You blame David for not being there. For breaking his promise to be with you always. Just think about when Stu grabbed you. David had scared you. If he hadn't you wouldn't have run away from him again and Stu wouldn't have been able to get you. You blame him for that. Which is why you don't see Stu. You don't blame him for what he did."

"But...."

"The mind works in mysterious ways."

"But why...."

"Think about it. Do you blame Stu? Do you feel anything towards Stu?"

"No, just pity."

"Exactly. You blame David. Therefore you see David. You need to tell David. Only then will you be able to forgive him. Only then will your mind release it's hold on him."

"It can't be that easy." Amy shook her head.

"Put it this way, who do you blame for your divorce with Michael?"

Amy sat in silence for a while. "My mom."

"Why is that?"

"She always said she hated him. Right from the start she said it wouldn't last."

"What do you feel towards Michael?"

"Nothing, not really. A little anger, but that is because he slapped Lauren the other day. But otherwise I feel nothing."

"Which is my point! What do you feel towards your attacker?"

"Nothing."

"Is that because you blame David for not catching him after what he did to Kelly?" Amy burst into tears. Jason handed her a tissue and sat back watching her react to all that he had said.

"But it wasn't his fault. It wasn't his fault." Amy cryed out.

"That may be true but you still blame him."

"I don't want to though, I don't want to."

"Have you ever spoken to your mom about your divorce with Michael?"

"Yes." Amy sniffed as she suppressed her sobs.

"Did you tell her that you blame her, for at least part of it."

"Sort of."

"Did that help you to stop blaming your mom?"

"Yes, I forgave her."

"Do you think that telling David would help you?"

"I don't know, it would...."

"Use alot of trust, you would need to trust him to do it."

"But I don't know if I do."

"You do trust him. Think about all that has happened. Focus on the fact he rescued you from Stu. He saved your life from your last attack. He saved you." Amy wiped her eyes and smiled.

"He did."

"I won't expect to see you again." Jason smiled and put his notes down on the table beside him.

"Why?"

"It's taken you years to come to somebody, and I managed to make you see things for yourself. You won't let yourself see that you need help again. Besides, if you let David back into your life, you won't need to speak to me. You will speak to him."

"Thank you." She nodded.

"For what? You did all the work. I just sat here and listened, then gave my unbiased opinion."

"Thank you anyway." Amy shook his hand and left. Feeling alone lighter than she had in a long while.


	46. Believe

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. Nor do I own any songs used or the singers/writers included in this chapter, or any chapter.

**Happy Birthday Shannon!!!!**

**Chapter 46: Believe**

Amy sat on her hospital bed swinging her legs. Nicola walked in and smiled at her.

"Are you ok?" A concerned look filtered across her face.

"Nope, butI'm ready to go home."

"Are you sure this time?"

"Yes, absolutely."

Nicola's smile returned. "So Jason helped then?"

"He was a major help. Thank you for getting him to see me on such short notice."

"Well he owed me a favour, and I felt you needed it."

"Thank you."

"Hey I was just doing my job."

"And the rest."

"It is people like you, that make my job worth while. It is **I,** who should be thanking you." Nicola pulled Amy into a hug, and then stepped back towards the door. "I'll go get the doctor. We need to get him to sign your release forms."

"Thank you."

"Your welcome."

* * *

_'I used to think that I could not go on   
And life was nothing but an awful song   
But now I know the meaning of true love   
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms   
__   
If I can see it, then I can do it   
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it'_

* * *

Victor walked into the Amy's room quietly, he could see David sitting on the bed. "Dad, when is mom coming home?" 

"She is not your mom, nor will she ever be!"

"What do you mean?"

"There is no way right now that you are ever going to have another mom. Stop calling Amy, mom. Before you can get hurt."

"What are you saying? When is she coming home?"

"Stop asking questions." David turned suddenlyand screamed out. "GET OUT OF MY ROOM, NOW!"

"It's not your room." Victor burst into tears. "It's not your room. When is she coming home? Why should I stop calling her mom?"

"STOP WITH THE 20 QUESTIONS. GET OUT OF MY ROOM. LEAVE ME BE!"

"You're drunk."

"WHAT YA GONNA DO ABOUT IT? HUH?" David taunted.

_"Stop it."_ Victor whimpered. A shot glass flew past Victor's ear and smashed on the door frame. He shied away from it and backed away from David. "Stop it."

David jumped up and stormed towards the door. "MAKE ME!" The door was slammed in Victor's face, before he ran down the stairs. Maxinejumped up off the sofa worried about the noise she had heard upstairs.

"What happened?" But he was too upset and could only point. She rushed up the stairs and threw open the door. "What the **hell **happened in here?"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Stop shouting." Maxine put on her DCF face, trying to stay calm. Two irate adults was something that would definitely not help to diffuse the situation.

"I WILL DO AS I WISH. NOW LEAVE!"

"I will not tolerate shouting in my house. I never accepted it from any of the kids and I will not accept it from you!"

"THIS IS NOT YOUR HOUSE."

"It is while Amy isn't here, now calm down and tell me why you are shouting."

"I WANT," David cleared his throat. "I want to be left alone."

"Why?"

"I can't deal with anything right now. I am obviously not meant to be happy. So leave me alone in my sad, sad life."

"I don't understand, what do you mean? Is this something to do with what happened in the hospital?"

"She doesn't want me, I promised myself to her, I promised her. She threw it back in my face."

"I don't understand David." He gestered with his hand to the nightstand. Maxine slowly moved over to it, and picked up the promise ring. Turning it over in her hand, realisation hit her.

"She threw it back, literally threw it back. She just lets me carry on giving. Letting myself fall, I caught her, but she never catches me! She lets me in a little but then she shuts me out. Pushes me away. Draws me back and then pushes me away again. I don't understand."

Maxine stood silent for a while, trying to think of how to best phrase her reply, when she realised there was only one way to reply. "I never will either. She was always daddy's little girl. He spoiled her really, but I never managed to get through to her. I never knew when she wanted me to stay and comfort and when she wanted me to leave. So I gave up, walked away. Now I stand at a distance waiting for her to ask, but I know that she never will. She's too god damn stubborn, she takes after her bloody mother!" David snorted, Maxine smiled at her result."Don't take it so personal. She'll be back."

"How can you know that? How can you be that sure that she will be back for me? How can you be sure?"

"I can't, but I trust my instinct and it says that she will be back. She loves you and she doesn't want to lose you. You just have to believe in her, and believe in yourself. Let yourself go, let yourself feel,be what you want to be, and let her be what she wants to be. Together you can soar to places you never knew existed."

"I love her, but, _she's killing me_."

"Drinking isn't the way out." David looked at his feet, feeling extremely ashamed and beganrapidly sobering up, realising what he had done.

"I know."

"You scared your son."

"I know."

"You threw a glass at your son."

"I know, and I want to say sorry. But I don't trust myself."

"So I will go and explain. But David...."

"Yes?" He looked up at her.

"Next time you want to be left alone.... don't forget to lock the door." He smiled.

* * *

_'I believe I can fly   
I believe I can touch the sky   
I think about it every night and day   
Spread my wings and fly away   
I believe I can soar   
I see me running through that open door   
I believe I can fly   
I believe I can fly   
I believe I can fly'_

* * *

Amy held her breath as she stepped out of the cab. She waved the driver off and turned to face her house. She was shocked at how calm she was to be alone, especially as she knew that her attacker had not been caught. This thought made her nervous and she quickly walked up the path to the door. She took a few deep breaths and then opened it, only to be hit by a surprising silence. Sheglanced around before walking all the way in and closing the door behind her. 

"Hello?" She walked into the dining room slowly, where everyone was eating. "Enough for me?" All faces turned to her and then there was an explosion of voices welcoming her back. After they quietened down, both Lauren and Victor stepped towards her embracing her in a hug.

"We thought you weren't coming back." Lauren had started to cry as she hugged Amy.

"What made you think that?"

"Well we had an explosion of emotions from a certain McClaren." Maxine said calmly as she hugged her. Amy looked questionably at Victor who shook his head. It was only then that she realised that David wasn't there.

"Where's David?"

"Upstairs."

Victor jumped in. "But I wouldn't go up there mom. He doesn't want anybody there. He wants to be left alone, he was shouting and he was drunk."

"Oh dear, that would be my fault."

"No, he just wants to be alone." Lauren insisted.

"No it is my fault." Amy shook her head. "Do you guys want to go for some ice-cream?"

"Yeah, that would be cool." Lauren and Victor smiled.

"Well how about you go with grandma, Peter and Gillian?"

"What do you mean? Why aren't you coming?"

"I need to speak to David and I don't want you to hear anything that could upset you."

"Ok." They were still too easily distracted by food, which made Amy smile despite the situation.

"Good idea Amy." Peter hugged his sister quickly before picking up Ned and herding everybody to their coats and then out into the cold.

_"Silence." _Amy mused before she slowly made her way up the stairs.

* * *

_'See I was on the verge of breaking down   
Sometimes silence can seem so loud   
There are miracles in life I must achieve   
But first I know it starts inside of me _

If I can see it, then I can be it   
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

I believe I can fly   
I believe I can touch the sky   
I think about it every night and day   
spread wings and fly away   
I believe I can soar   
I see me running through that open door   
I believe I can fly   
I believe I can fly   
I believe I can fly'

* * *

Amy knocked on the door frame, watching David's hutched back. 

"Go away!"

"Now is that anyway to welcome somebody home?"

_"Amy?" _His voice caught in his throat.

"Who else?" David turned and sighed.

"I regret what I said. I'm sorry. I had some issues. Alot of issues. But I've sorted through them. I am free of them. I love you David, and I don't ever want you to leave, and I don't ever want to leave you. Please forgive me."

"I don't think that...."

"Please David, I promise to stop pushing you away. I didn't mean to, just habit I guess." David watched as Amy's eyes glistened with tears.

"Come here." He rose from the bed and moved towards her, arms welcoming. They sobbed as they held each other, all the tension of the past week drained away and eventually they fell back onto the bed exhausted. With a few short sweet kisses, still wrapped in each others arms they fell into a deep, peaceful sleep.

* * *

_'Hey, cause I believe in you   
oh.............. _

If I can see it, then I can do it   
If I just believe it, there's nothing to it

_I believe I can fly   
I believe I can touch the sky   
I think about it every night and day   
spread wings and fly away   
I believeI can soar   
I see me running through that open door   
I believe I can fly   
I believe I can fly   
I believe I can fly_

_If I just spread my wings (I can fly)   
I can fly (I can fly)   
I can fly (I can fly)   
I can fly (I can fly)   
If I just spread my wings (I can fly)   
I can fly.... (I can fly, Ican fly)   
woo....I can fly   
hmmmmm.... fly, fly, fly'_


	47. Forgiveness Is HardPart 1

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. I also do not own any songs used in any of the chapters, nor do I own the singers/song writers.

And thank you Shannon for helping me through my writer's block.

**Chapter 47: Forgiveness Is Hard-Part 1**

Maxine ushered the two tired children up to their rooms to get ready for bed, and then went to check on Amy and David. She leant on the door frame watching silently as they lay on the bed asleep. _"She's going to get through this."_ She sighed happily.

"Who's going to get through what?" She looked round at Vincent.

"Amy." He joined her at the door and smiled.

"She really loves him doesn't she?"

"Uhuh, although she doesn't admit it." She said as she closed the door.

"You mean she hasn't told him?"

"I'm sure she has. That doesn't mean she admits it to her self though does it?"

"She always was awkward."

"And you weren't?" Maxine smiled at him as he pulled a face.

"I thought we were talking about Amy?"

"We are." She chuckled as he turned around. "So how long are you staying?"

He froze and seemed to have to think about it. "I don't know, as long as it takes."

"As long as what takes?" Vincent turned back round with a thoughtful look on his face.

"As long as it takes to get this family settled."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"I always was the peace keeper around here."

"Well where were you when David was stressing earlier?"

"I didn't want to get involved. He wanted to be left alone and I respected that. You didn't."

"I don't think you understand…."

"Mom, do you know that he thought he had lost Amy? He didn't want to go home because it is a mess and has not been cleaned up from the attack. He didn't want to stay here. But most of all he didn't want to run. When he runs he can be alone to think of things, and because he didn't want to run, couldn't run, he was trying to be alone here. Nobody seemed to help with that decision."

"When did you become the shrink?"

"I'm not, but you learn a lot from watching somebody, hearing what others say, and most importantly, what a guy rants about when he is drunk."

"You always were sneaky."

"It was for his own good."

"How did you come to that conclusion?"

"I didn't want him to do something stupid. So I was listening in on him, so that if he did try, I would be able to stop it."

"Finally decided to use the brain you were born with, huh?"

"Leave it out. Now if you've finished with the questions, I am going to bed."

"Goodnight."

"Night." Vincent turned back and wondered down the stairs.

* * *

_'When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;  
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;  
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,  
Until you come and sit awhile with me' _

* * *

David smiled as he watched Amy's eyes flicker open. "Hey, sleepy head." 

"Hey."

"So what do you want to do today?" Amy shrugged. "Do you want to just stay at home and relax?"

"Yeah. That would be nice. Nicola said that she wasn't going to announce my release until tonight so hopefully nobody will come and question me till tomorrow."

"Good. What do you want for breakfast?"

"I'm not hungry."

"You have to eat."

"I know. You choose."

"Ok. I'll be back up. You just stay here and relax."

"You realise that I have been confined to a bed for more then 72 hours, right?"

"I know, but you still need your rest and you need to stay relaxed." David smiled as he moved to the door. "Besides, whenever you leave bed you seem to get yourself in trouble." A pillow was launched across the room, but only managed to hit the door frame as David had quickly exited and was nowhere in sight.

* * *

_'You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;  
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
You raise me up: To more than I can be' _

* * *

Amy was sitting on the swing outside. There was a slight breeze that brought a chill with it but Amy was happy. That was until she thought about the conversation she had been putting off all day. David had finally realised she had needed some alone time and had taken the kids to the arcade. She knew that Vincent was somewhere in the house, but she also knew that he wouldn't dare disturb her from fear of her wrath. This thought made her laugh. 

"What's so funny dear?" And then there was her mom, who never knew when she wanted to be left alone.

"Nothing."

"Ok, what's bothering you?" Maxine moved round so she could face her daughter.

"I was laughing, nothing is bothering me." Amy turned her head away to avoid eye contact.

"David left you alone, and Vincent is scared to come out here. So what's up?"

"Nothing. They just know when I need to be alone, a skill you have yet to learn."

"Amy, if you don't tell me now, I am going to stop caring when you get upset because it just isn't worth it." She folded her arms in front of her trying to make a point, which didn't seem to be getting across.

"Why are you getting stressed? I just want to be alone!" Amy looked at Maxine with her eyes flashing in anger. Maxine ignored her dagger like looks that were being thrown her way. She knew that the only way Amy was going to get through all that had happened, was to talk about it, or at least some of it.

"But there is always a reason." She pushed.

"Yeah, I want to be alone. To think."

"Amy, do you love David?"

"Of course I do."

"Then why did you give him his promise ring back?"

"A brief moment of insanity." She sneered.

"Are you wearing it now?"

"He hasn't given it back to me."

"And he's not going to." Startled Amy looked at her.

"What, whatwould you know about it?"

"Are you going to let me finish?" Amy stayed silent. "He's not going to give it back until he knows you trust him."

"I do."

"You're going to have to prove that to him."

"What do you know about it?"

"Amy," she sighed, sitting down next to her.

_"Have a seat why don't you."_Amy's voice dripping in disdain.

"That's enough of that tone! Now, tell me what's wrong."

"There's nothing wrong. Just…." Amy became quiet as tears sprang to her eyes.

"Amy you are your own undoing." Maxine sighed.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Just speak to me."

"Only to shut you up."

_"Whatever you want to tell yourself." _She muttered.

"I've been getting flashbacks."

"Ok, about your attack or about something else."

"Um, who's telling this story?"

"Sorry. Continue."

"The flashbacks, they are from when Stu…."

"Had you?" Amy glared at Maxine. "Sorry, can't help it."

"But I don't see Stu."

"You see some one else?"

"Ma!"

"Sorry."

"Right, well yes."

"And?"

"This is hard and you aren't helping!" Amy tried to relax when she realised she had her fists clenched.

"I'm sorry. Please carry on."

"I see David." Maxine's head snapped round as the tears Amy had been trying to hold back started to fall.

"Does he know?"

_"No." _She buried her head in her hands.

"You have to tell him."

"You don't think I know that."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't need you to be sorry for me." The tears fell down her cheeks in rapid succession. Maxine hesitated, before pulling her into a hug. Amy surprised her by opening up. She proceeded to tell her everything that had happened and everything she was feeling. Maxine's head was spinning; she had never felt this close to Amy before.

"Oh honey. I love you, you know that right. Why have you never spoken to me before?"

"I never thought you wanted me to."

"I always thought you didn't want to speak to me." Realisation sank in and they hugged tighter.

"Thank you."

"I'm your mom, this is my job." Amy managed a weak smile as Maxine chuckled.

* * *

_'I am still and wait here in the silence,  
Until you come and sit awhile with me _

_You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;  
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
You raise me up: To more than I can be' _

* * *

Amy sat on the couch chewing her lip nervously. David and the kids were due back any second. 

"He'll be fine." Maxine handed her a cup of coffee.

"How do you know?"

"He loves you."

"Well I just hope that's enough."

"It will be."

"He already blames himself for what happened."

"Well, there's nothing you can do about that."

"I don't think I can do it." She stood up, absentmindedly playing with the dressing on her neck.

"Stop it!" Maxine scolded making Amy look at her. "You have to do it, and if you keep playing with that, it will come off. Now sit down."

"Why is it, my life has to get so damn complicated?"

"That's why they call it a game dear. The game of life."

"Cause that is so helpful." Amy shot back, pulling a face.

"That's what I'm here for." Maxine smiled as they both sat down.

The front door opened and Amy shakily put her cup on the table.Lauren came running in and jumped on the couch next to her.

"Mom, guess what?"

"What?"

"I beat Victor!"

"Beat him at what?"

"Everything!" Lauren beamed. Amy smiled at her and saw Victor smiling sheepishly behind her.

"Guess what?" Amy imitated her daughter with a smirk.

"What?"

"Your room's a mess." Lauren's face fell.

"Mom!"

"Go tidy it before dinner."

"Fine." She watched Lauren stormed up the stairs and then turned to Victor.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

"Could you go help her?"

"Sure."

"It's not a punishment, it's just that I want her to stay in a good mood and that's only going to happen if she has somebody to moan about me, with."

"I understand." Amy looked at the door as David walked through and shut it.

"Hey, David can I speak to you?" David looked worried as Victor ran past him up the stairs.

"Sure," his eyes followed Victor as he left. "What did he do?" Amy looked confused at first and then she realised he had only just walked in.

"Oh it was nothing to do with Victor."

"What is it about?"

"Not here, outside." The worried look returned to his face as he followed Amy out onto the porch. There was a strained silence as Amy sat on the swing and started moving it with her foot, making it creak as it moved. "I think it needs oiling."

"Amy I know you didn't ask me out here to tell me the swing needs oiling. What's wrong?"

"Nothing, not really. I mean…." She sighed and nervously scratched the back of her head. "Where to begin." She looked up at David and tried to smile, "sit down will you, you're making me nervous."

"I'm making you nervous?! You ask me out here and then start talking about a swing that needs oiling."

"Right. Sorry."

"Sit please." Amy gestured next her but David didn't move.

"No, I would rather stand. I don't like where this conversation is going."

"Well you know I have been acting, well, kind of weird?"

"Yes."

"You remember when I was in the shower, before we went away."

"You were frozen." Amy nodded.

"I had just had a flashback, of when Stu had me." David didn't say anything, but he looked at Amy slightly confused.

"I've been getting these for a while. They make me tired." So far she was finding it easy to retell. _'Must get easier every time.' _She thought as David moved forward.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know how to." She held her hand up as he tried to move closer towards her. "I'm not finished."

"Oh, sorry."

"Don't say sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for." Amy pushed a stray curl behind her ear, and looked away from him. "In the flashbacks, I don't see Stu doing those things, I see…." She bit her lip and sniffed as she tried to hold back the tears that had only just started to appear again. _"I see you." _

"You see who?"

"You." Amy got up and walked to the edge of the porch. "I see you. I don't want to, but I see you. I don't know why but I do. I'm sorry."

_"I can't be here right now."_ Amy turned and saw the hurt in his eyes, she found it hard to breathe as he backed away shaking his head and ran round the house.

"David? I'm sorry." She called, but it was too late and he was gone. _"_David_, David?" _She sat on the wall and cried.

* * *

_'You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;  
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;  
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;  
You raise me up: To more than I can be. _

You raise me up: To more than I can be'


	48. Forgiveness Is HardPart 2

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. I also do not own any songs used in any of the chapters, nor do I own the singers/song writers.

**Chapter 48: Forgiveness Is Hard-Part 2**

_'Like the sound of silence calling,  
I hear your voice and suddenly  
I'm falling, lost in a dream.  
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,  
You say those words and my heart stops beating.  
I wonder what it means.  
What could it be that comes over me?  
At times I can't move.  
At times I can hardly breathe'_

* * *

David leant against the side of the house. He pinched the bridge of his nose trying to stop himself from crying. He couldn't believe she had turned on him. He heard Amy call after him, but he didn't care. He sank to the ground trying to control his breathing. 

_"Why is this happening? She pushed me away and then she pulls me back, then again. I don't understand."_

He let the darkness surround him, as he tried to clear his mind of all thoughts. He knew he couldn't run, he couldn't go back 'home', but he couldn't stay. He didn't feel he could stay. He felt the overwhelming feeling of being stuck, land on his chest. The weight that had been lifted when Amy came home, was back, heavier than ever.

Maxine looked out the window and saw Amy alone, she walked out and sat beside her.

"What happened?"

"He ran, you were wrong."

"Was I?"

"He doesn't love me."

"Amy, think about what you just told him. It was hard enough for me to hear the pain you had gone through, but then to hear it was him causing it. Imagine how that feels to him, when he already blames himself."

"But he ran."

"I didn't hear any car start. Besides the keys are still inside."

"But he's gone."

"He'll be back."

"How can you be so optimistic in this situation?"

"It's my job, I am your mother and I am here to comfort you and shield you from lives horrors."

"Well you're not doing a very good job at it."

"You always were the rebel." Amy watched as a smirk appeared on Maxine's face.

"I'm going inside." She sniffed.

"Right you are."Maxine remained stationary as she watched Amy walk back into the house. She waited a moment before she began to follow, but stopped when she heard a sob.

* * *

_'When you say you love me  
The world goes still, so still inside and  
When you say you love me  
For a moment, there's no one else alive' _

* * *

David remained quiet as he listened in on their conversation. He tried his hardest not to cry out when she said that he didn't love her, but he stifled it till he thought they had both gone inside. 

_"But I do love you."_

"Then why the** hell** didn't you tell her?" David scrambled to his feet when he heard Maxine.

"I don't, I couldn't." He wiped away the tears that were forming again, as he looked at his feet.

"You know I think that was the hardest thing she has ever had to do." He looked up. "To tell somebody she loves, that they hurt her."

"But I don't…."

"David, did you listen to what she had to say. Did you understand what she was saying?"

"Of course, she wasn't speaking some other language."

"Well then, did you read through the lines?"

"No, I was too busy trying to concentrate on the actual words she was saying. The way she started, I thought she was ending it."

"And that is how you reacted."

"What do you mean?"

"You thought she was going to dump you, so when she finished her explanation, you assumed that was what had happened. She doesn't want to end this with you. She loves you, but she needed to tell you. She needed to trust you, and the only way she can trust you is if she eliminates all her fear of you. To do that she had to tell you what she sees, make it real, by making it real, she destroys it. Because you didn't do those things. The real David would never do those things, it makes her remember it was only a made up David who was doing those things. Do you understand?"

"I guess that makes sense." Maxine put an arm around his shoulders. "But I bet she hates me right now."

"No she doesn't." He looked up at her. "Oh and another thing."

"Yeah."

"I'm glad you didn't run, it means a lot to her, to all of us."

"I know."

"Come on, lets go back inside."

"Could you send her out to me?"

"Don't you need to get something first?" Maxine said with raising an eyebrow.

"Oh my god. Yes thank you for reminding me."

"Go up the backstairs, I will give you 5 minutes while I think of a reason to send her out again."

"Thank you."

"Now why does everyone keep thanking me. I'm a mother. It's my job."

"You're not my mom, so I can thank you."

"Just make my daughter happy."

"I will try."

"That's all I ask."

* * *

_'__You're the one I've always thought of.  
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.  
You're where I belong.  
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,  
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly  
For a moment in time.  
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth,  
And frozen in time, oh when you say those words' _

* * *

David had been sitting on the swing for more than 10 minutes and he was getting more and more nervous. He could hear Maxine's attempts to try and get Amy to go back outside but it wasn't working. That was until there was a knock on the door and then all of a sudden Amy was standing next to him. 

"David?"

"Amy, I'm sorry."

"You didn't run?"

"No. I promised you I wouldn't. I plan to keep that promise."

"That never stopped you before." She sat next to him, curling her feet under her.

"I didn't want to run. I have no reason to run."

"You would be running away from me."

"I don't want to run away from you. I love you."

"Even after what I told you?"

"Of course. It's not like you choose to see me, it's like my nightmares. I don't want them but they happen anyway."

There was a brief silence, then Amy cleared her throat. "I love you too."

"Amy." She turned to look at him. "Will you accept his back?" He held out the promise ring. "It would mean so much to me."

"And me." She held out her hand and he slipped the ring back on.

"So, who was at the door?"

"What? Oh right, um the cops."

"I thought that Nicola had that covered."

"Obviously not enough. But it's not her fault. She managed to hold them off for this long."

"So are you speaking to them?"

"No, mom is telling them I am asleep."

"Do you think they'll believe her?"

"Who knows? But if she comes out here, they didn't." She laid her head on David's shoulder. "Do you think anything will go our way?"

"Lets hope so, because if things don't start working for us, the promise ring is as far as we are going to get." He wrapped an arm around her and then rested his head on hers.

* * *

_'When you say you love me  
The world goes still, so still inside and  
When you say you love me  
For a moment, there's no one else alive' _

* * *

Luckily for them, the cops did believe them. Maxine bid them fair well, and did go and check on them for a while. She sent the kids to bed, tidied the kitchen, checked on the kids and then finally made her way outside. 

David looked up at her and smiled. "You were right."

"I knew I would be."

"She's asleep."

"I've got the kids settled, so when you decide to come in, everything is clear for you to just go to bed."

"Thank you."

"I think I might ban that from the house."

"How would we teach the kids manners if they can't say thank you?"

"Good point. Well I will see you tomorrow, lets hope it is a happier day then today was." David nodded as he watched her walk back into the house.

_"I give you my promise that I will try.." _He gently picked Amy up, cradling her in his arms. He smiled as she snuggled her head into his chest as they went back into the house.

* * *

_'__And this journey that we're on.  
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.  
And when you say you love me,  
That's all you have to say.  
I'll always feel this way. _

When you say you love me  
The world goes still, so still inside and  
When you say you love me  
In that moment, I know why I'm alive

When you say you love me.  
When you say you love me.  
_Do you know how I love you?'_


	49. What Must Be Done

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. I also do not own any songs used in any of the chapters, nor do I own the singers/song writers.

**Chapter 49: What Must Be Done**

David sat on the bed stroking Amy's hair.

"Dad?" David turned to see Victor rubbing his eyes. "What's wrong with mom?"

"Nothing. What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"And?"

"Nothing."

"If you couldn't sleep why were you rubbing your eyes?"

"I...." Amy moaned and rolled over, starting to cough. "I thought you said she was ok."

"She is."

"I don't believe you." Victor stepped towards the bed.

"Go back to bed."

"I want to see if mom is ok."

"Go back to bed Victor. Now!" David stood up and walked over to him. "Come on, she will be fine." He put his hands on Victor's shoulders and led him out and back into his own room. Victor got back into bed and lay down. "Now sleep." David tucked him in and then left, hurrying back to a still coughing Amy.

_"No, no, stop."_ Amy kicked out as if she was being held.

"Honey, wake up." David pulled her into his lap and carressed her cheek, Amy's eyes flew open, as her coughing stopped.

"I was.... somebody was trying to...." Her hand went to her throat and touched it tenderly.

"You don't have to explain, I understand. Now I am going to get ready for bed and then we can go to sleep. Another good nights sleep will do us both some good." She nodded, and dropped her head onto his shoulder, trying to stop herself crying. "Come on, I can't get ready if you stay on my lap."

_"I don't want to be alone."_

"I'll only be gone a second."

_"Promise."_

He kissed her on her forehead. _"I promise."_

* * *

David lay awake, every few minutes Amy would start again, and he would hold her tight. The distance between the relapses was increasing, but not at a rate fast enough that allowed him to fall asleep. Eventually as dawn broke, and the birds started singing, Amy lay still and slept quietly. Sighing he got up and went downstairs. 

"Today is going to be a long day."

* * *

Amy had barely been up for more than an hour when there was a knock on the front door. David squeezed her hand before getting up from the couch and opening the door, letting in two cops. 

"Good morning Judge Gray."

"Morning."

"Sorry to come so early, but we didn't want to take the chance that you would be 'sleeping' again."

"No problems."

"Are you ready to make your statement?"

"As ready as I will ever be."

"Is there somewhere private we can go?"

"Depends what you mean by quiet."

"Would you be willing to come down to the station with us?"

"I don't really want to leave the house if it is all the same to you."

"Well, do you have somewhere private?"

"Yes." Amy got up and walked towards the kitchen, with David close behind her.

"I'm afraid you will have to stay in here Mr McClaren."

"What? Why?" Amy turned and stood with her arms folded protectively around herself. hands on her hips.

"He might affect the answers to our questions."

"How?"

"It would be best if we do this in private Judge Gray."

"Fine, let's just get this over and done with shall we." David sat down on the couch looking hurt, but Amy didn't notice as she had stormed into the kitchen.

Two hours later Amy showed the cops out and leant against the door. She took a few calming breaths before walking up to David. "It's over."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it is over." Amy smiled.

"How?"

"They searched the house, they found camera's all over the place. There was a print on a photo frame."

"Camera's? Print? Do they know who did it?"

"No, but he seems to like leaving partial prints.... that is, if it is the same person, not some sick joke."

"It's him." He said with a strong conviction tainting his voice. "What picture was it?"

"I don't know. But it is over, and that is all that I care about right now."

"So there is no trial?"

"No." David jumped up and flung his arms around Amy swinging her round.

"There was no evidence. To take you in front of a judge would have been a waste of time." David stopped swinging her around and his overjoyed persona dissolved leaving him crying into her shoulder. It took a few minutes before he was able to control his emotions and and wiped his eyes and smiled at Amy.

"Thank you."

"I didn't do anything."

"What do you mean? They questioned you? If they knew it wasn't me, then why?"

"Just being thorough. The print could have been a coincidence and you could have set the camera's up." They sat on the couch and held each other in silence.

* * *

In an interview room, Dominic Hill sat with his new attorney in deep conversation. There was a bang on the door as a guard shouts out that time is almost up. 

"Just get her for me."

"I don't think she is going to want to, not after all that has happened."

"Just give her this." He slid an envelope across the table.

"I don't think this is a good idea."

"Just give it to her. She will see me. I guarantee it."

* * *

Two hours later a rather nervous attorney was standing on the Gray's door step. He knocked with a shaking hand, trying to build up the courage to face the ruthless Amy Gray who hated to be disturbed at home, especially while on vacation. He was shocked back to reality when the door opened to, "David?" 

"Richard what are you doing here?"

"Um, I have something to give to Judge Gray. Is this the right house? I mean I may have taken the address wrong or something." His eyes darted to the frail looking Amy who walked up behind David.

"Who is it?"

"Richard."

"Am I meant to know who that is?" She put an arm around him and smiled at the nervous looking man in front of her, who cleared his throat before speaking.

"Richard Littlewood, I'm taking over from Becca Morris."

"Who is?"

"The Dominic Hill case." Amy's face turned a deathly white.

"I have to go." She backed away from the door.

"No, please. I have something to give to you."

"No, please leave." Amy ran up the stairs leaving a slightly confused David and a sorry faced Richard.

"What was that about?" David turned back to Richard.

"Um, this." He handed over the note from Dominic. "Can you give this to her."

"Wait is this from the guy who...."

"I'm afraid to say yes. It is."

"Why should I give it to her?" David sprang to Amy's defence.

"Believe me, when she reads it.... if she agrees to meet him...."

"Meet him?! Are you serious?!"Richard sighed as he watched a mixture of shock and horror cross David's face, followed by disbelief.

"Yes, if she does then he is willing to reveal somethings that he won't even disclose to me."

"Why did you take over the case?"

"Becca didn't like being in the position she was in, after she found out about his threats on Judge Gray. She felt threatened herself, because she lost the case."

"Oh, but you think we should trust him?"

"Yes. He says he has alot of information that will interest alot of people."

"He's going to give us names?"

"To be honest I don't have a clue. But I think it has something to do with her attack. He seemed to be quite remorseful when he heard about all that had happened. I think it would be worth her while."

"If I manage to persuade her, which I'm not sure that I will. If anything, and I mean anything happens to her.... I will be after you."

"I understand David. But I really think this is worth it. Have I ever been wrong before?"

"Yes."

"Ok, I admit that I was but that was a long time ago, and it was only once."

"You better be right Richard."

"I am, I've gotta go." Richard steps away from the door. "We need to catch up sometime."

"Maybe after all this is over." Richard nodded and walked back to his car.

David sighed and closed the door. _'This is not going to be easy.'_ He walked up the stairs and found Amy on the bed crying. "Honey, are you alright?"

"Does it look like I'm alright?" Amy snapped back.

"I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry. I just.... I've been trying to forget about it and he, he just brought it all back." David nodded and sat down putting an arm around her.

"Don't worry about it. But you have to read this." He held out the letter, to which Amy backed away across the bed and to the door.

"I can't."

"Do you want me to read it first?"

"What good would that do?"

"I could see if it was safe and see what it is all about."

"Do what you want." Amy vanished from the door, and David felt the familiar tug on his heart. Knowing she was hurting and wanting to go to her. He looked down at the letter in his hand, he slowly opened it and held his breath as he quickly read it.

* * *

"Vincent?" Amy stepped onto the porch behind the swing. 

"Sit with me."

"Why did you come back?" She settled in next to him.

"Me and Carole, it's just not happening."

"You left her?"

"She left me."

"Never liked her. Tried to, but never did."

"Oh because now your the relationship expert?"

"Have I ever said that?"

"No, sorry. It's just a touchy subject right now. How are you and David?" He looked at her when all that met his question was silence. "What did you do?"

"I keep pushing him away."

"You always push people away."

"I don't mean to, and I'm scared that eventually he will stop coming after me."

"So stop making him come after you."

"It's not that easy."

"Make it easy."

"Vincent!"

"Amy, I'm serious. He makes you happy. I've seen it with my own eyes, and I get along with him. He may be a little crazy, but then so are you. Lauren likes him whether she ever tells you or him. Victor actually makes Lauren do her homework as well. You're like a proper family - fight for that. If you need a time out, why don't you ask for it, then go back. Set a time limit or something, instead of pushing him away. It would make him feel a bit less unwanted."

"Since when did you become all seeing and all knowing?"

"Haven't I always been?" Vincent asked innocently as Amy smacked him. "What made you upset this time?"

"Who said I was upset?"

"You came out here sniffing."

"Why is it everyone seems to be concerned with me sniffing?"

"Amy!"

"Nothing, it's complicated."

"If you ever need to talk, you know I'm here, right?"

"I know. I suppose I should go back to him."

"Try and stay calm."

"Easy for you to say."

"That may be true, because I don't know what made you upset...."

"I was not upset!"

"Whatever, anyway.... just try."

"Yes sir." She gave a mock salute and laughed at him.

"Hey, I'm just trying to help my baby sister."

"I'm older than you."

"Maybe in age."

"Hey!"

"I thought you were going back inside?"

"I was trying to put it off."

"I noticed. Now go back in, or I will.... tickle you or something."

"What is everyone's obsession with tickling me?"

"It's one of your few weaknesses."

"Don't try and compliment me now."

"It wasn't a compliment, now stop changing the subject and go inside to him." Amy sighed.

"Fine."

* * *

Two days after Richard had delivered the letter, andtwo days after David had read it, he had finally managed to persuade Amy to read it. She had sat shaking in his arms and he had held her tightly as she cried after it. Richard arrived after the third day to see if anything was going to happen. 

"I understand if you decide not to see him. I mean I have no idea what he wishes to speak to you about, but I am curious as to what he wants to say. I am of course worried, because he refuses to say anything to me about it. The only thing he will say is that it will change alot, for alot of people. You, I am afraid, are the deal breaker." Richard sighed and looked away from Amy.

"Will he be allowing anyone else in the room?" David asked as Amy squeezed his hand.

"No, but he will allow us to tape the conversation."

"But won't she be in danger?"

"He will be handcuffed to the table."

"They don't always help."

"If you require it, his feet can be restrained also. He will not be able to stand, or make any advances. There will be officers outside the door, ready to assisst if anything does go wrong."

"So something could still go wrong?"

"In every case, in every senerio there is a chance that something could go wrong. We are doing our best to know what all these are, in order to put in place preventative measures."

"Fine, I'll go." Amy stood and left the room before anything more could be said.

"You owe me big time." David went to show Richard the door.

"I know and I am sorry that I had to ask you to do this."

"You just better remember how hard this is going to be for her. I just hope it will be some sort of closure for her, so that she can maybe get over this."

* * *

Amy sat in the interview sobbing into David's arms. Everything which Dominic had told her had shocked her on two accounts. The first; that people were really that cruel and the second; that it was all happening to her. Richard sat in shocked silence among a mixture of emotions, till he finally settled on anger. He launched himself out of the room. Somebody was going to pay, and at that precise time, that somebody was none other than Roderick Jones. The infamous detective who held a grudge, and helped out the wrong team. No matter how David tried to comfort her, Amy just wasn't responding. She was withdrawing within herself, again. Just when he was about to give up hope, she started muttering to herself; 

_'Get it together. Don't let them get to you. Stay strong. Get it together. Lauren needs you. Victor needs you. David needs you. Pull it together.'_ He wasn't sure what to do to help her, so he chose to just stay as they were and wait for her to pull herself round. To his relief, Amy soon stopped sobbing. He watched her trembling lip as she bit on it trying to keep her control.

"Do you want to go home now?" Amy nodded in response and squeezed her hand tightly as they walked out of the station. "I love you, you know that right?" Amy stayed mute and he sighed in resignation. She looked exhausted even though the 'interview' had lasted less then 2 hours. "Guess you need your rest?" Still no response from her, but he could see the conflicting emotions flashing across her face, and was just thankful she wasn't pushing him away. When they arrived back at the Gray household, David carried her in and up to their room. He laid her on the bed and covered her with the comforter, kissed her on the forehead and went to leave. When he reached the door she finally spoke;

_"I love you too."_ He smiled and headed down stairs knowing there was one task he still had to see to before they could all move on from what had happened.

* * *

Vincent watched Victor silently as he battled with his emotions.

"You know it is ok for guys to cry right?" Vincent jumped up.

"I wasn't crying."

"I know, but you wanted to be. You shouldn't bottle up your emotions."

"I know, I know. It will make me ill, blah blah blah!"

"I guess you heard that speech before, huh?"

"Many a time, from different people."

"I see, I wanted to offer you something."

"What?" Victor asked his curiosity peaked.

"I know you don't really have anyone to chat to, apart from your dad, and I know how that can be. There are just some things you don't want your dad to know." Vincent smiled at Victor. "If things keep going the way they are, then I will be your uncle. So, I wanted to tell you, if you ever need to talk about something that you don't want your dad to know.... I will be there for you. Ok?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, and I mean anything. Unless it is something life threatening I won't tell your dad."

"What about mum?"

"The same rules apply."

"So you will be like a cool uncle?"

"Ask Lauren, she'll tell you all about the mischief we have gotten into together."

"Wow, a rebel within the house. Brilliant!"

"Cheered you up huh?"

"Yeah."

"Why were you upset?"

"No reason, I just miss being on my own sometimes. I miss being able to talk to dad whenever I wanted to. I miss that. But I'm glad that he found someone. Plus she's pretty nice and cool too."

"Well that's us !" Victor laughed.

"And it comes along with complementary big headedness."

"Is that even a word?"

"Who cares."

* * *

"Eww this is so gross!" Lauren moaned as they started to clear out the trunk of David's car.

"I'm sorry Lauren but there was a few things which stopped me from disposing me of these groceries earlier."

"Why do we have to do it?"

"Because it's better than you getting square eyes from sitting in front of the tv."

"I would rather have square eyes than be touching mouldy food."

"It's not all mouldy!" Victor laughed as he shoved an extremely mouldy loaf of bread under her nose.

"Get that away from me you freak!" Lauren squeeled and ran down the drive.

"Victor!" David stood with a stern look on his face and his son stopped and hung his head.

"Sorry dad."

"So you should be, and for that you can be the one to empty the fridge."

"I thought you said there was no food in the house and that is why you had all of this."

"Well in truth there was plenty of food, just not the food I wanted.... so I also bought groceries which we would need after our vacation was over."

"Oh."

"Now stop being nosy and get to your job. I have to get some stuff and Lauren can finish clearing out the car."

"Why do I have to...?"

"Don't complain L, at least you have fresh air. I will be stuck in a stuffy kitchen!" Lauren smirked as she was left alone to finish the job. When she was almost done she found a small bag and upon examining the contents became angry at the future invasion. She shoved the bag and its contents into her backpack and smiled smugly to herself.

Two hours later the house was cleared of any moulding substance and David had managed to go into his bathroom in order to collect a few things. But he couldn't stay in there long and left before he had collected half of the items he had gone in there with the intention of receiving.

* * *

Lauren watched in amusement as David searched through his car looking for something. Victor was growing impatient and couldn't understand the smile on Lauren's face. "What are you so happy about? You're going to be late meeting your friends." 

"Oh no reason. Just happy mom's ok I guess."

"DAD, WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? MAYBE WE CAN HELP!"

"Victor, you do not need to yell. I am a mere 2 metres away from you and no you cannot help."

"Sorry. But if you told us what you were looking for then maybe we might have seen it."

At this David looked up at Lauren who instantly pasted a mask of indifference on her face. "Lauren, when you were clearing out the car, did you happen to come across a small red bag?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"What was in it dad?"

"I'm talking to Lauren, don't interrupt."

"Victor's right.... what was in it? Maybe if I didn't see the bag, maybe I saw what was in it. It may have fallen out."

"I don't think it would have. I'll just have to come back later and carry on searching."

"So what was in the bag?"

"None of your business!" David did up his seatbelt and started the car. "Besides it is nothing which concerns you."

_"Course it doesn't!"_

"What was that Lauren?"

"Nothing." Victor watched the exchange in slight confusion and this didn't change when he watched her pat her backpack and smile to herself. She was up to something and he was going to find out what it was.


	50. Fraustration

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. I also do not own any songs used in any of the chapters, nor do I own the singers/song writers.

I would also like to dedicate the last half of this chapter to Woolworths where I work, as I wrote it on till receipts inbetween serving customers! Hehehe!

**Chapter 50: Fraustration**

Two weeks later everybody had slipped back into a routine, it was almost Christmas and the decorations were slowly been added to the house. Amy had been sick a few times but she assured everyone she was fine and that it was nothing to worry about. But in truth she was scared witless. Maxine had been watching her closely and she knew that her mom suspected something, but wasn't going to approach her. But eventually Amy gave in and threw herself on the couch next to her.

"Ask me."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Don't give me that crap. Ask me."

"If I knew what I was meant to be asking, I would ask it, but as I have no clue as to what you are referring, I can ask no question but, what are you talking about?"

"You know what I am talking about mother!" Amy sighed in fraustration.

"No need to get snarky Amy."

"Well I wouldn't need to be if you just asked me what the hell it is you have been dying to ask me all week."

"I hate to repeat myself but maybe if you were a little bit clearer..."

"Ma!"

"Amy." Maxine continued her knitting calmly knowing that Amy was at a breaking point.

"Fine, are you pregnant?"

"Gods no!"

"Not you ma! Me." Maxine chuckled. "Well?"

"Well what? I can't answer that question."

"You have to be the most annoying, scheming..."

"Amy Madison Gray, stop right there before you say something you regret."

"I wouldn't regret it!" She sighed. "I don't know."

"Wouldn't it be best to find out?"

"I'm scared."

"I know you are sweetie. But wouldn't it be better to know? You could be worrying over nothing."

"But I don't think that..."

"It's different every time, so just cause it feels the same doesn't mean that it means the same thing. Trust me."

"I know but I am also late."

"Well you better get going then."

"Ma! This is not the time for joking about."

"Stress. It's not exactly been the most relaxingyear for you. Work is almost more relaxing than what seems to happen to you when you have a couple of days off!"

"But what..."

"There is only one way to find that out Amy..."

"Find out what?" Amy jumpedat David's voice.

"Nothing." He looked at her as if he was going to say something else but then change his mind.

"So I'm just going to my house to get some things, I seem to be missing. I'll be back in about an hour. I have my cell if it is going to be longer."

"Ok." David kissed her on the cheek and left quickly.

"And there is that."

"What?"

"He keeps kissing me on the cheek."

"What is your point Amy? If you have not noticed I am old. If you take your time getting to the point, I may not be around to hear the point."

"He knows I don't like being kissed on the cheek."

"What? Why?"

"I just don't. It's what friends do."

"You are friends aren't you?"

"Ma!"

"What? You are making a fuss over nothing."

"But he keeps going out for like an hour; back to his house and..."

"So he's not allowed back to his own house now?"

"It's not that. It's just he kisses me on the cheek before going and then he comes back with no explanation and sometimes he doesn't even bring anything over."

"Well did you consider the fact that he doesn't find what he was looking for and that is why he comes back with nothing?"

"You haven't seen his house Ma. He knows where everything is. He has no reason to come home with nothing."

"I don't think he is the type of guy to have an affair Amy."

"But just the type to run away?" Amy snapped back.

"It was his way of dealing with his emotions. Besides he's stopped doing that now. He stays. I mean the last time he went to run he didn't even make it to the front of the house before he stopped himself."

"That's not the point."

"Amy, I hate repeating myself. But if you have a point to make... make it!" Maxine had to bite back her laughter.

"Ma my point is, well I don't know what my point is, but sometimes I don't know who he is. He does something which I don't think he would do and it surprises me."

"Surprises are good. Stops you being bored."

"Only if they are nice ones."

"He doesn't give me nice surprises?"

"Yeah he does, but it's not always about giving is it?"

"I suppose not." Amy stormed in the kitchen where she counted to ten, took a deep breath and returned.

"I am trying to stay calm about this, but when all you do is... ok that's not the point. What I am trying to say is I'm not all too sure I am happy about this. I mean I am like a 40 year old unwed woman who might be pregnant."

"That is very true, but it is your body. You shouldn't care what others think."

"I don't."

"Amy, you should listen to yourself someday." Maxine stood up and made her way to the kitchen. "Then maybe you might learn something." Amy fell onto the couch and sighed, too many things were happening to her.

* * *

Victor finally decided to find out what had made her so smug, while his dad was steaming. "So what is my dad looking for?" 

"I don't know. You were there. He didn't tell us."

"Why did you look so happy when he asked you if you knew? Then you patted your bag... what was that all about?"

"Nothing."

"Let me see your bag. You have been keeping it close to you since that day, and I haven't seen it out of your sight."

"So?"

"So my point is, let me see it!"

"No! It is my bag and if I want some privacy I will have some privacy."

"Whatever it is, you found it didn't you?"

"So what if I did?"

"Give it back to my dad. He has been really stressed about it. He keeps going back to the house looking for it."

"So let him look."

"That's not nice L."

"I don't care. What he was going to do is not right."

"I don't understand."

"It will spoil everything. It will go back to the way it was before."

"What are you talking about?"

"You won't be here anymore."

"What?"

"D won't either. It will go back to just me, my mom and my grandma."

"What are you on L? You are talking, but I just don't get what you are saying."

"It will go back. Like Stu. It will go back. Now get out of my room... NOW!" Lauren pushed him back and slammed the door in his face. "And leave me alone!"

_"Fine no need to be so stressy."_ He muttered before moving away from the door.

* * *

"Vincent, I would like to take you up on your offer." 

"What offer?" Vincent asked distractively from behind a newspaper.

"Sorry." He turned to walk away.

"Wait, sorry. I was engrossed in an article. What is it?"

"Nothing, really."

"Victor, sit down. You need to realise that talking is the best way to get over something or figure out a solution."

"A solution, hmm, well it all started when we went to help dad clear out the mouldy food."

"You and L?"

"Yeah, well L has something. Something dad is getting stressed over. I think he knows she's got it, but he either doesn't want to or can't get it back."

"What is it?"

"I'm not sure; I think it is really important though. It is really stressing him out."

"Hmm, I wonder..." Vincent shook his head and looked at Victor for a second. "Is there any way you will be able to get it off her?"

"No she takes it with her every where. She keeps it in her bag; she even takes it to bed with her."

"I see, I wondered why she was carrying that around with her. How big is it?"

"It can't be that big, I mean all the stuff she has in her bag, it wouldn't be able to fit in otherwise."

"Right, well we have to come up with a plan."

"Yeah, I've been trying to come up with one but I haven't managed to yet."

"Well there is a reason why they say two heads are better than one."

"I suppose."

"Ok, I have an idea."

"What?"

"Well, she doesn't know I know, or that we talk. She trusts me, so if we could get her to somehow give me the bag to look after..."

"Then you could get it out!"

"Exactly."

"And she wouldn't know it was missing till it was too late!"

"Yep."

"Brilliant!"

"I know." Both Vincent and Victor started laughing. "You know, I think we should make you an honorary Gray brother."

"Really?"

"Yep, I'll have to speak to Peter, but I don't think he will have any objections."

"Cool."

"Well dude, you're trying to make my sis happy, and she needs more like you surrounding you."

"Cool, I've always wanted to have a brother."

"Well now you do."

"Cool."

"You need more words in your vocab."

"I know, dad keeps saying that."

"Brainstorm." Vincent jumped up. "Swimming."

"What are you talking about?"

"If I take you and L and maybe some of your mates, you could leave your stuff with me, and then I could get it then."

"Cool, I'll go speak to her."

"Ok, but don't forget, you can't make it obvious that we have been chatting, we don't want to make her suspicious."

"Oh yeah." They high fived each other before Victor ran up the back stairs.

_"Crazy."_ Vincent shook his head and went back to reading the paper.

* * *

David sat in the den his head in his hands. He was trying his best not to think of what Lauren could have done with the ring. He was brought out of his thoughts by a voice at the door. 

"David? Hello? Are listening?"

"Huh?"

"The kids are going swimming with Vincent and some of their mates, just thought you should know so you wouldn't panic."

"Ok."

"Oh and Victor has decided to get his ear pierced and they're going there after swimming."

"WHAT?" David jumped up and his face turned red in the anger then bubbled up inside.

"Thought that would get your attention." Amy was smiling, but he didn't seem to have registered what she was saying. "I was joking, get it? Haha you know, the things that make you laugh."

"I know what a joke is." David scowled and sat back down.

"What's going on with you honey?"

"Don't 'honey' me when you almost gave me a heart attack."

"I'm sorry."

"Leave me alone."

"David, you're scaring me."

"You're scared because I want to be alone? That's stupid!"

"That's not what I was talking about, and you know it!" David didn't respond, and Amy tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall. "Forget it!" She walked out of the room slamming the door.

"Amy, don't slam doors." Maxine smiled as Amy walked into the kitchen to make herself some coffee.

"Sorry. He, well he upset me."

"Slamming doors doesn't solve anything."

"No? Well it sure made me feel better!"

"Don't be so juvenile."

"He's having an affair." She burst into tears and quickly covered her face with her hands.

"What are you talking about?" Maxine asked, shocked that he would do such a thing after all they had been through.

"As I told you before, he keeps disappearing for no reason and he is being really nasty. This is just typical; I don't need this now, not when I'm... I'm too old for this."

"That means nothing, he is a guy."

"Ma! Trust me."

"Have you asked him?"

"No, because I don't want to know if it is true."

"Amy you can be extremely..."

"Annoying?" Vincent walked in and started laughing at Amy's face.

* * *

Victor who had been sitting on the backstairs was frozen in shock. How could his dad do this to Amy? As quietly as he could he got up and ran up the stairs and round, down to the den. 

"Dad?"

"Leave me alone Victor."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"If you promise to leave straight away after, yes."

"Right, I will."

"Go on then."

"Are you having an affair?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Mom was talking about you having an affair."

"You must have misheard."

"I would have thought so too, but she was crying as she said it, she said this was typical, that she didn't need this now and that she is too old for this."

"Too old for what?"

"I don't know, it's like she knew I was there, and so was talking in code."

"Are you sure you heard right?"

"I'm sure dad."

"Ok."

"So you're not having an affair?"

"No, I wouldn't do that to Amy."

"Promise?"

"Victor, you are getting on my nerves."

"I wanted to be sure. I don't want to leave here. So do you promise or not?"

"We are not going anywhere, and yes I promise."

"You have to make sure she knows you aren't cheating on her."

"She knows."

"Dad! She obviously doesn't."

"Ok, ok. When did you suddenly become the all knowing one in the house? I thought that was Maxine's job."

"Since Lauren took whatever it is you are looking for."

"So she does have it!"

"Yeah whatever it is. It's in her bag which she takes everywhere with her."

"Are you sure?"

"I asked her and she admitted it is what you are looking for that she has."

"Ok, I'll need to get it back."

"Vincent and Iare working on it."

"You are?"

"Yeah, I'm an honorary Gray brother."

"A what?"

"It's not official, Vincent has to speak to Peter, but he doesn't see a problem!"

"Ok, whatever!"

"Ok, well L andI are going swimming."

"Ok sport." Victor left feeling a lot happier than he had done entering the den and laughed when Lauren looked at him suspiciously.

* * *

Vincent smiled as he held out the bag to David. 

"What's this?"

"It's what you've been looking for."

"Where, where did you, how did you...?"

"Victor told me about it, and we came up with a plan."

"A plan?"

"Yeah we went swimming, I looked after the bags."

"Ok, someday I will ask to know all about that, but right now, I have to figure out where to hide it before Lauren realises she doesn't have it anymore."

"Don't let her stop you."

"What?"

"Don't let her stop you asking Amy. She just doesn't want Amy to be hurt anymore."

"I know and I won't, that is with your blessing. I know she looks up to you."

"Yeah well is that really surprising?" David laughed before checking in the bag.

"Did you look in the bag then?"

"I had to see what all the fuss was about didn't I?"

"That's fine. Do you think she will like it?"

"She will... if you actually give it to her."

"I will, soon."

"Don't leave it too long, or she will think there is some reason why you are asking her."

"What are you talking about?"

"You'll find out soon. Just don't leave it too long."

"I won't."

"Good."

* * *

"I can't tell him, if he's having an affair, I just couldn't bear to see his face." 

"Amy." Gillian handed her a cup of coffee before sitting down next to her. "Amy, you have to tell him."

"I can't."

"You have to Amy. You have to tell him. He deserves to know."

"Not if he is having an affair."

"Who's having an affair?" David walked in the family room and sat on the arm next to Amy.

"David." Gillian smiled nervously.

"Hi Gillian, howare Peter and the kids?"

"They are fine." Gillian stood up. "Do you want some coffee?"

"Yes please."

"I will go get that then, I'll be back in a minute."

Amy suddenly became very interested in her coffee and refused to look at David, even when he put his hand on her shoulder.

"Amy, look at me." She remained silent, as a tear rolled down her cheek. "Amy, I want you to look at me now."

_"I don't want to."_

"Amy, please."

_"Why should I?"_

"Amy I love you."

"Yeah well you don't act like it."

"Amy I love you, look at me."

"No!" She jumped up and spilled coffee all over the couch. "Damn it!"

"Honey..." He touched her arm, but she yanked it away from him.

"Don't honey me."

"Amy... please, what's wrong?"

"You know what's wrong!"

"No, I don't."

"You're having an affair."

"No I'm not. Why do you think that?"

"You keep leaving to go home, not coming back with anything even when you say you were going home for something. You are being really short with me and you stopped talking to me."

"I'm sorry about all that, but I'm not having an affair."

"Then why were you like that? Why did you keep going off?"

"Why do you keep having conversations and then when I walk in the room you change the subject."

"I, well I have to tell you something... but don't change the subject!" Amy had considerably calmed down, but was still annoyed with him.

"You answer me first, and then I will answer your question."

"Fine, I'm pregnant."

"No, seriously."

"I'm pregnant."

"You can't be."

"I don't care whether I can or can't... I am!" Amy burst into tears and sat back on the couch.

"Oh honey, why are you crying?"

"Cause you obviously don't want it."

"I do, it was just a shock." David pulled her into his arms and held onto her tightly. "I love you so much."

"Damn hormones." Amy sniffed and looked at David. His face was creased into the biggest grin on his face. "Now are you going to answer my question?"

"Of course... I was like that because I was looking for something that I had bought for you."

"What?" She wiped her eyes, and smiled, getting a bit excited.

"I was looking for this." He pulled out a small red velvet covered box. Amy froze as David moved away to kneel on one knee.

"What, what...?"

"Amy Madison Gray, you made me smile when I didn't think I could. You brought light into my life when all there was, was darkness. You are my angel who saved me, I love you more than anything, and I want to spend the rest of forever with you. Amy, will you do me the honour of marrying me?" He carefully opened the small box, revealing the most beautiful ring to her.

"You're just asking me because I'm pregnant."

"I wouldn't have the ring if that was the case, now would I?" He held his breath as he watched her looking at the ring.

"I...

* * *

AN: Merry Christmas folks, and I'm sorry about the cliffy but you know, I need a bit of suspense don't I? LOL... Don't worry there won't be too long before I update again, I can't stand having to wait for you to read my chapters, so as soon as they are written I usually update... lucky you! ;p 


	51. Moving On

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. I also do not own any songs used in any of the chapters, nor do I own the singers/song writers.

**Chapter 51: Moving On**

"I don't, I mean, I.... oh David!" She looked at him, watching the nervousness and fear of rejection crossing his face. "David I love you but I, oh god, I have no idea what I'm saying.... but things always go wrong when I get this far, I don't want this to end."

"I won't let it end. I don't want it to end. I want to be with you for the rest of my life."

"You can be. We can be."

"But I want everyone to know how much I love you. How much you love me. I want it to be official. Can't you understand why. I love you so much. Please say yes."

"I love you too, but I seem to jinx any relationship when it gets this serious."

"I won't let anything affect us. I love you too much."

"David...."

"Amy please...."

Victor threw open the front door and ran into the family room completely out of breath. "Dad.... dad.... dad...."

"Breathe Victor."

Victor took a deep breath before repeating himself. "L'shurt.... her ankle.... I can't carry her."

David looked from Amy to Victor and back again before hanging his head. "I'll be right there. You go there." David stood up and walked feeling dejected, out of the room. Amy took a deep breath and buried her face in her hands.

"Why did you say that?" Gillian walked into the room from the kitchen where she had 'accidently' overheard the entire conversation. "Michael was a jerk, even he admits that. Stu loved you more than you loved him. He was more of a close friend, who also happened to be a bit of a jerk. Actually, quite a bit of a jerk. David's different. You know that. Let yourself be happy Amy, let go and let yourself be happy. You deserve it!"

"I can't. I don't want to spoil it." Amy sighed. "And it's not the same!"

"Amy let yourself go. Enjoy your life. I mean, he was practically begging you."

"I know he was, which is what makes this so much harder." Amy stood up. "I better go see what Lauren did."

"Please think about it Amy. He 's different!"

"Gillian, I know he's different. But it scares me. Everything scares me, I've been hurt too many times and I really don't think I could survive anymore attacks."

"Amy, it is true that you have had some bad luck.... who hasn't? Now get over it, and move on!"

"I'm trying."

"Obviously not hard enough. You just turned David down!"

* * *

"Ow, V, you are such a loser!" 

"Hey that's not nice. I just got Dad to come help you."

"I don't want your dad to help me."

"L.... why are you being nasty about my dad?"

"Because he's going to ruin everything."

"Ruin what?"

"Lauren, what did you do?" David smiled as he walked over to her.

"I didn't do anything.... **your** son is a loser and **he** pushed me!"

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Stop it you two!" David picked Lauren up as she crossed her arms.

_"Loser!"_

"I heard that!"

"Will you two stop it!"

"What happened Lauren?" Amy sighed as David lay her on the couch.

"I didn't do anything. It was Victor. He is a loser and I **hate** him!"

"Lauren you don't mean that."

"Yes I do. I hate all of this."

"Lauren, what is up with you lately? You have been more moody then normal and you aren't being yourself."

"I am being myself."

"Lauren...." Amy sighed. "I'll get you some ice."

* * *

"Honey...." 

"David, not now." Amy walked up to Lauren's room with a bowl of soup. "Here you go noodle."

"I'm not hungry." Lauren snapped as she glared at David who had followed Amy into the room, which did not go unnoticed be either of them.

"David, can you wait outside a minute?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Lauren what is wrong? Why are you suddenly being so cold towards David?" Amy set the soup on the nightstand as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Nothing is wrong."

"And what is up with you and Victor? Even when you were off with David before you were at least on speaking terms with Victor!"

"He is a jerk. Both of them are."

"And why would that be?"

"He's going to change everything, and his son is backing him up."

"What are you talking about? Nothing has changed in quite a while."

"But it's going to! Now that he has it back."

"Who has what back?"

"Mr McClaren."

"Lauren...."

"Whatever. I'm tired." Lauren lay back closing her eyes, leaving Amy completely confused.

"What was wrong?" David asked as Amy closed the door.

"Apparently you are going to be changing something, and she doesn't want that to happen." David gulped and turned away from her. "David?"

"I told you she wouldn't.... I told you that she doesn't.... if you won't marry me, just tell me."

"David I need time to think about this."

"I love you."

"I know." David watched as Amy walked back downstairs, before he knocked on Laurens door.

"Go away."

"Lauren, I need to speak to you."

"I don't want to speak to you."

"Lauren please. Hear me out."

"Fine. Do what you want."

"Lauren, I need you to know that I love you and your mother so much."

"Do you have a point to make?"

"Lauren, I know that you haven't really had much luck with your mother's choices, but I want you to know, I'm not going anywhere."

"That's what they all say."

"Do you know why I gave your mom a promise ring?"

"No."

"Because I needed to prove to myself that I had moved on, before I took the next step. I didn't want any regrets, and I didn't want to hurt anybody."

"But, why would you need to test that?"

"Lauren, I loved Kelly with all of myself. It's not something you can just forget and move on from." He watched her face as she took this information in. "I made my peace and said goodbye to her a while ago. But I will always love her, I just wanted to be sure. I didn't want anybody to be hurt. I am ready.... but it appears your mom is not. Amy has said no, so you don't need to worry about anything changing."

"She said no!"

"Yes," David pinched the bridge of his nose trying not to cry. "She doesn't want to go that next bit. She doesn't want to change anything either. She doesn't have enough faith that it will work out."

"And I haven't really been helping have I?"

"No, not really."

"You promise you won't leave my mom and me?"

"I promise, if anything happens, it will be upto your mom, I won't walk away from this family. I love it too much."

"You promise that your promise is true?"

"Lauren, if there was some way to prove it to you, I would, but I don't know...."

"Don't give up."

"What?"

"Prove it by not giving up. Don't let mom stop you asking."

"I don't understand."

"I want you to ask my mom to marry you. I made my decision to never see my dad again. I guess I was angry at him, and as I can't take that anger out on him, you were the closest thing to a dad that I could...."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Depends what it is."

"What does D stand for?"

"It did stand for David, but lately, it was dad." Lauren smiled at Davidfor the first time since finding the ring.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Accepting me.... even with the odd occasions when you don't."

"Just keep your promise to me."

"I will."

* * *

Amy sat on the swing outside, staring at nothing in particular. 

"You know it stood for dad."

"What stood for dad?"

"D," David smiled as he sat next to her. "Well apparently at first it stood for David, but then it changed to dad."

"Since when?"

"Since she decided she didn't want to see Michael any more."

"Oh."

"I can't believe she told me."

"Yeah. I bet thats made your day."

"Yepp. Only one thing would make it better."

"I need to think about it."

"What is there to think about?"

"There is alot to think about David, not everything is about you."

"I didn't say that.... did I?"

"No, but you implied it."

"I'm sorry. I love you."

"I know." Amy sighed and went back to staring at nothing in particular.

* * *

"Judge Gray!"

"It's Amy."

"Amy, what are you doing here?"

"I came to ask you something."

"Come in." Bruce stepped back allowing Amy entrance. "You can go through, Rebecca's not home."

"Thank you."

"Would you like some wine?"

"No, thank you, I'm driving."

"Not that it's stopped you before."

"Hey!" Bruce chuckled.

"So what was it you wanted to ask me that couldn't wait until we went back to work?" Amy looked around, anywhere but at him. "Amy?"

_"Will you give me away?"_

"What?"

"Will you give me away?"

"Give you away to what?"

"David asked me to marry him."

"You don't seem to happy about it."

"I haven't told him what I want yet."

"So why are you asking me to give you away?"

"Because I wanted to know first."

"What?"

"I wanted to know if you would be there this time.... if you are happy." It suddenly dawned on him what she was asking, and he felt his heart clench in his chest.

"I can't make your decision for you."

"I'm not asking you too. But I can't, not knowing whether or not you will be there."

"Amy, this is stupid. How can you base your marriage on whether I will bethere or not."

"I want you, I want my best friend, to give me to the man I will spend the rest of my life with. I want to know that you will always be there for me, no matter what. By being there for me, at my wedding, you will prove that!"

"I will always be there for you. You know that."

"I thought I knew that. Till you didn't turn up to my wedding."

"Oh. I said I'm sorry about that."

"I know, and I understand why you didn't turn up. It was the samereason I ran."

"I know that Amy, but I don't know if I can watch you...."

"Make another mistake?"

"Watch you bind yourself to another man."

"That is such anold fashioned point of view. I will still be the same, apart from a couple of rings and a piece of paper."

"Amy, it's not the same and you know it. You will belong to him, just as he will belong to you."

"Bruce, I want you to give me away. Not my brothers, not anybody else. You!"

"That means alot to me Amy, but why?"

"Because I love you. You've been with me through some of my worst times. You've brought laughter where there could have only been sadness. Don't leave me when I need someone to lean on, I need you to be there."

Bruce held his tough exterior, but inside he was breaking down. His heart was reaching out to her against his will, and he knew that it wouldn't be long before she won. If for no other reason, than that he loved her, and he couldn't 'stand her up' again.

"Fine, I will be there, I promise." Bruce hung his head and closed his eyes, trying desperately to hold the mask he had created. "Now I believe there is a certain man you have to speak to."

"Are you kicking me out, Bruce?" Amy asked in mock indignation.

"No my darling Amy, but after getting what seemed to hold you back, I believe you have tortured the man long enough and shouldgo now and give him the answer he is praying for." He smiled.

"Just make sure you are going to be there. Or I think you will have several people battering down your door."

Bruce held up his hands in defence. "I said I would be there!" He looked thoughtful for a while before he continued. "Besides they don't know where I live."

"They will when I tell them!" Amy dodged round him as he made to grab her and reached for the front door just as Bruce dived in front of her.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"I won't have to if you turn up."

"True. Looks like I have to turn up then." Bruce sighed, trying to hide his smile.

"You make it sound like a chore."

"It is." She playfully slapped his chest. "Hey! I believe I said I was going to turn up. I don't believe physical violence is fair."

"Life's not fair."

"Haha!" Bruce opened the door. "Now get out you, before I throw you out."

"Scared of what I am capable of?"

"Yes."

"You're scared of me?"

"Only because you are your mothers daughter!" Amy pulled a face as Bruce chuckled. "Very attractive Judge Gray."

"Back to formalities now, huh?"

"Well I will only call a beautiful lady by her name."

"You know if I didn't know better I would say you were flirting."

"Me?" Bruce dramatically gestured to himself.

"Yes you, high and mighty."

"I believe you were leaving."

"I never said that. You were throwing me out."

"Well I'm not doing a very good job of it am I?"

"No." Amy smiled. "Let me help you out." She stepped through the doorway and walked a few steps before turning back to the him. "I'll see you back at work." Bruce smiled and waved her off. After she was out of sight he closed the door leaning against it. _'I guess it's time to let you go. Time I move on, like you have.'_


	52. Answers

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. I also do not own any songs used in any of the chapters, nor do I own the singers/song writers.

**Chapter 52: Answers**

Amy opened her eyes slowly; she smiled as she snuggled back into David's arms.

"I wondered how long it would take before you came back to the land of the living."

"I'm not awake."

"Neither am I."

Silence fell on them for a few seconds before Lauren came running in.

"Mom, I can't find my new top."

"I'm asleep."

"Mom, I can't go to school on the last day, in a top I have already worn!"

"Lauren, I am asleep. I will help you when I wake up."

"Wake up now."

"Lauren, I can hear your allowance slowly packing its bags and preparing for departure to go on a long holiday."

"Fine!" Lauren stormed out and slammed the door.

"Is it just me, or is it that every time we think we have peace and quiet it is suddenly disturbed by Lauren?"

"Dad, have you seen my math homework?"

"Not just Lauren, huh?" Amy teased.

"Guess not."

"Dad!"

"I have no idea. It'll be in the last place you look."

"What?"

"It always is."

"Whatever."

"I guess we should get up."

"I don't want to, I am quite warm and settled right here!"

"Is that so?" David got an evil smirk on his face.

"Uhuh."

"Well we'll see about that, shall we?"

"What? Are you..." Amy squealed as David began to tickle her relentlessly. "Stop...Dav..."

"Oh for heavens sake you two." Maxine stood with her arms crossed in the doorway. "I believe we already have two kids in this house, we don't need another two."

"Sorry." David hung his head, whilst trying to hide the boyish grin that was playing on his face.

"Ma!" Amy laughed at David struggling to remain silent. "Thank you for rescuing me." She jumped out the bed and walked towards the door. "So what's for breakfast?"

"I believe you are old enough to make breakfast for yourself."

"True, but nobody ever makes it as good as you do."

"Don't try and butter me up, it won't work." Maxine turned to make her way down the stairs.

"Yet you're going to make it anyway."

"Not if you keep speaking I'm not." Amy laughed as she turned towards David.

"You know you don't have to be scared of her you know."

"I do have to be scared of her actually. She has a reputation, and one I would rather not challenge."

"I hope I don't have a reputation."

"Everybody has a reputation."

"Yeah, I seem to remember yours..."

"Let's not bring that up, although as I recall, it was that very same reputation that attracted you to me."

"Haha, you think you are so funny."

A look of innocence crossed his face. "I'm not funny?"

* * *

_'Theres something that I can't quite explain;  
I'm so in love with you  
You'll never take that away'_

* * *

Lauren and Victor were in the middle of a heated argument when David pulled the car over and didn't seem to hear when Amy called out to them. 

"I am not going to stay single just because we used to go out with each other."

"But L, if it weren't for our parents we would still be together."

"That may be true but everything has changed and we aren't together. Which means we can see other people."

"But L, he is such a jerk."

"Oh really."

"He is four years older than you."

"You're older than me."

"That's different."

"How so?"

"I am only one year older than you and I'm not a jerk, all he wants to go out with you for is..."

"Go on, say it. I know you want to."

"He just wants to sleep with you."

"You have officially gone crazy. I'm not that sort of girl."

"Whatever."

Both Amy and David jumped out of the car as Lauren attacked Victor.

"What the **hell** is going on here? Lauren? Victor?"

"Nothing." They said together.

"Lauren why were you attacking Victor?"

"I didn't."

"Do you think we are blind?"

"No."

"Well then you know we saw you."

"Just leave it."

"We are not going to leave it, so spill."

"Mom, just leave it." Victor stared pleadingly at Amy.

"Victor, she attacked you and I want to know why."

"JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!" Lauren stormed off down the road.

"Where are you going?"

"HOME!"

"Victor, car, now." Victor walked quickly to the car and got in slamming the door.

"What the hell was that all about?" David looked at Amy puzzled.

"I believe it had something to do with having other interests."

"What?"

"Men!" Amy turned back for the car and was almost there when David caught her arm.

"What are you talking about."

"I believe that another boy is interested in Lauren and Victor doesn't like it still believing her to be his property."

"That's crazy."

"I know."

"She should know better."

"Do you think the couch is comfy?"

"Sort of." David replied perplexed.

"Good, cause that's where you are sleeping tonight."

"What? Why?" Amy ignored his questions and slammed the door after getting in.

"Women!"

* * *

_'And if I said a hundred times before,  
Expect a thousand more  
You never take that away'_

* * *

Maxine walked in to a tense atmosphere. "Where's Lauren?" 

"We don't know."

"What happenedthen? Why are you all so tense?"

"Because she should be home by now, she said she was coming home."

"Maybe she stopped by some friends."

"Or maybe she is with Darkness." Victor piped up.

"What?"

"Darkness, her new boyfriend."

"Ah, I see your daughter has inherited your fetish of bad boys." Maxine chuckled.

"I should take offence at that." David grinned.

"Yes, you should."

"Ma!" Amy turned back to Victor. "What kind of parents call their kid Darkness?"

"It's not his name."

"Oh, what is his name?"

"Well it is kind of his name."

"Out with it Victor."

"His name is Valentino Darkness, he's like part Italian or something."

"Kind of a romantic name." Maxine smiled.

"Ma! We are talking about Lauren here, she said she was on her way home, she was angry but she has never..."

"What about when she snuck out when she was at Michaels?" David pointed out.

"She is taking after you more and more each day."

"That is what I am worried about. I know what I got up to."

"You are going to have to tell me more."

"I'm not speaking to you David."

"What did **he** do?" Maxine asked confused as to the look Amy had given David.

"He is a man, what doesn't he do?" Amy sighed, before turning pale and slapping her hand over her mouth and running from the room.

"Bless her hormones."

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing."

"Is mom ill?"

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"Victor, stop asking questions. Why couldn't you wait to have your confrontation out with Lauren here. At least then she would have just stormed off into her room. Instead she is somewhere out there with a guy called Darkness."

"Who isfour years older than her."

_"Just like her mother."_ Maxine smiled. "She'll be back soon, she just needs to calm down."

"But..."

"David, I know you want to find her for Amy, but with the mood she is in, you will be caught in the punishment."

"I've already been punished... I have the pleasant company of the couch tonight."

"Ahh, never mind that. Not too bad a punishment. You have yet to witness the wrath of Judge Amy Gray." Mazine winked at him and left to go back into the kitchen.

"Dad, you know the kind of guy I mean when I say he is a jerk right?"

"Yeah, but I think it would be best to leave this to Amy."

"Why?"

"Cause I'm not treading on anybodies toes just because I am concerned for her."

"You wouldn't..."

"I would be stupid..." He stopped speaking when Amy walked back in.

"I thought you already were stupid."

"I thought you weren't talking to me."

"I'm not."

"Doesn't sound like it."

"Hey, mom, dad. I think that you both need to cool down."

"Stay out of this Victor."

"David, there is nothing for him to stay out of, so how about you leave him alone."

"I thought you weren't speaking to me."

"I'm not, I am just saying..."

"Exactly!"

"I'm not speaking to you." Amy started to storm out of the room but stopped when David spoke again.

"I thought we've been through this, you aren't capable of not talking to me. Must be cause I am irresistible." Victor smirked but cowered back when he saw the look on Amy's face.

"Victor why don't you go do your homework, in your room, maybe with loud music playing." Amy clenched and unclenched her fists as she waited for Victor to disappear up the stairs. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU! YOU CAN'T LEAVE ANYTHING ALONE CAN YOU? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW SCARED I AM RIGHT NOW THAT MY DAUGHTER IS TURNING OUT LIKE ME? THAT SHE IS GOING OUT WITH SOMEONE WHO COULD MAKE HER PREGNANT? THAT SHE IS REBELLING LIKE I ALWAYS WANTED TO? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA? NO YOU DON'T! YOUR SON IS PERFECT, HE ISN'T DOING ANYTHING. IF I DIDN'T LOVE YOU LIKE I DO, YOU WOULD BE, WOULD BE, you would be so out of here!" Amy burst into tears and sank to her knees, with her head in her hands. _"I'm sorry."_

"Hey honey, I should be the one apologising."

"No, no you shouldn't." Amy's tears dried up as fast as they had come.

"Amy! Stop it, I was..."

"Fine, stay on the couch." Amy stormed upstairs leaving a confused David behind - again.

* * *

_'Well expect me to be  
Calling you to see  
If you're ok when I'm not around  
Asking if you love me  
I love the way you make it sound  
Calling you to see  
Do I try too hard to make you smile?  
To make a smile'_

_

* * *

_

"Mom?"

"Victor, go back to your room before... just go back to your room."

"Why are you mad at dad?"

"It is something that you will understand when you are older."

"Why do adults always say that? It just makes us want to know even more."

"Victor, you wouldn't understand even if I were to tell you. Now get back to your room. NOW!" Amy bit her lip as she watched him walk back to his room. Her emotions were getting the best of her, and she didn't like losing control.

_

* * *

_

_'Well I will keep calling you to see  
If you're sleepin are you dreamin and  
If you're dreamin are you dreamin of me?  
I cant believe,  
You actually picked...me'_

_

* * *

_

"Why do you have to go?"

"I need to get back or I will be grounded for like ever. Not to mention no allowance."

"I can buy you whatever you want, and you can sneak out. I mean that is how you have been getting to me most of the time anyway."

"True."

"Come on Lauren, my Spider. You have to."

"But Victor... he will..."

"Victor will do nothing. He knows what my gang is capable of."

"You're not going to hurt him are you?"

"Not unless I have to."

"Please don't hurt him."

"Just tell him, he will be safe as long as he stays away from you. You are now mine."

"I can't stay away from him, nor can he me. We live in the same house together. Our parents are together, there is no way..."

"He has his own room does he not."

"Yes but..."

"And you have your own room, do you not."

"Yes but..."

"Well then what is the problem?"

"We have to eat together and..."

"You are a teenager, do what you are expected to do. Take food up to your room and do not eat with them."

"I can't get food without them knowing."

"Then I will buy you food. Or you can sneak out to me, and you can eat here."

"Won't your dad mind?"

"My father... is away a lot. Everything is ok. We do not need to worry about him."

"So you are here on your own?"

"Yeah. I can do whatever I want."

"My gran she works for DCF, she could..."

"NO!" He gently cradled Laurens cheek. "No, I do not want things to change. I like the way that my father is... I like the way my life is... I am free. I don't want to change that."

"You would still be free, you have your car."

"Which would be taken away from me if I went to love with another family."

"It wouldn't..."

"Lauren, believe me. If they knew who my father was, all contact would be severed and I would lose everything. All my money and my car and... you."

Lauren blushed. "You wouldn't lose me. I wouldn't leave you."

"You would be made to."

"I would sneak out. Like you said, I do that anyway."

"Lauren," he kissed her gently on the lips. "It is better this way. Trust me."

"I do trust you."

"You don't just have to trust me Lauren, you have to believe me. You have to believe what I say is true. You don't know my father and I don't want you to."

"Why?"

"Don't ask me questions about him. Just leave it."

"Ok."

"Now you said you had to go."

"Yes."

"Give Victor the message than stay away from him."

"I will. I promise."

"Oh and one other thing."

"Yeah."

"I will take you to and from school after the holidays. That way you don't have to worry about the car situation."

"Thank you."

"Anything for my sweetness." He kissed her once more before she jumped out of the car.

"When..."

"I will call you."

"Ok, speak to you later."

"Later." He watched as she walked up the path to the side of the house where she proceeded to climb up the trellis. When she reached her window she stopped and smiled before giving a small wave and slipping in. _"My beautiful Spider."_

_

* * *

_

_'I thought that the world had lost its sway  
(It's so hard sometimes)  
ThenI fell in love with you,  
(Then came you)  
And you took that away.  
(It's not so difficult, the world is not so difficult)  
You take away the old  
Show me the new  
And I feel likeI can fly  
When I stand next to you  
So what if I'm on this phone  
A hundred miles from home  
I take the words you gave  
And send them back to you'_

_

* * *

_

"You know it's lucky it's me in here and not your mom."

"What do you care?"

"I care about you Lauren. Dump him, he isn't good enough for you."

"What you mean like you were."

"That isn't an option."

"He can look after me, and I can look after myself. Stay away from me, get out of my room and don't speak to me."

"He told you to say that, right?"

"That is none of your concern."

"He did, didn't he! He told you to stop speaking to me."

"What does it matter to you whether that is what he said, it is what I want to do."

"L, don't be like this."

"My name is not L."

"Lauren then."

"My name is Spider."

"Your name is what?"

"My name is Spider."

"Lauren why are you doing this?"

"My name is Spider, and doing what exactly?"

"Doing this."

"I have no idea what you are talking about and as you don't seem to be able to tell me exactly what I am supposedly doing, I would like you to leave. NOW!"

"No. Not until you tell me why, why are you acting this way, why are you being so distant, why you are asking me to leave you alone, why you have changed your name to Spider, why you..."

"I don't have to answer to you. NOW GET OUT OF MY ROOM NOW!"

Seeing that he was getting nowhere Victor backed out and sighed as he heard her locking the doors to her room.

_

* * *

_

_'I only want to see,  
If you're ok when I'm not around  
Asking if you love me,  
I love the way you make it sound  
Calling you to see  
Do I try too hard to make you smile?  
To make a smile'_

_

* * *

_

"Victor, who were you yelling at?"

"Oh, um, Lauren."

"Lauren is back?"

"Yeah, she is in her room, but she has locked the door."

"Where was she?"

"I told you she was with Darkness, and he has seen fit to name her. Which can only mean one thing."

"Which is?"

"That he is getting closer to his goal."

"What did he name her?"

"Spider."

"Why?"

"Like I know."

"Victor, is this Darkness as bad as you say he is?"

"Dad, he is four years older than her, what do you think."

"I was hoping it was exaggeration and jealousy on your part."

"I care for her and I don't want her to get hurt, and he has a track record."

"A criminal record?"

"Like I know, but what I was talking about was his record with the girls, he gets what he wants and then dumps them."

"And if he doesn't get what he wants."

"He **always** gets what he wants. He is a spoilt rich kid who will do **anything** to get what he wants!"

"Victor, what was she yelling at you for?"

"She is not to speak to me or be near me."

"Because he doesn't want her to."

"I believe so, I hate to say this but we don't have long."

"Well when did you grow up and start using your brain?"

"Well it's all to do with evolution, somebody in this house needed to." Victor laughed as he dodged around David. "But seriously dad, we need to do something."

_

* * *

_

_'I will keep calling you to see  
If you're sleepin are you dreamin and  
If you're dreamin are you dreamin of me?  
I cant believe,  
You actually picked... me'_

_

* * *

_

"Why do you think I should be the one to talk to her?"

"Because according to your so called family you were as messed up as you could have been and did basically every stupid thing there is to do on this planet."

"It's true." Kyle ran his hands through his hair. "Where is she?"

"In her room."

"How do you know she will even speak to me?"

"Because you aren't Victor and you aren't his father, nor are you her mother."

"For which I am forever grateful."

"Hey, I could take offence at that."

"Don't, it wasn't meant to be." Kyle smiled at David before moving quickly up the stairs. "Lauren? Hey I wanted to ask you something, can I come in?"

"My name is Spider."

"Ok, Spider, Can I come in?" The sound of the lock opening answered his question. He slowly opened the door to see Lauren back on her bed crying. "Hey why are you crying?"

"I don't want to stop talking to Victor, but he was being so nasty about, about, everything."

"Hey, you don't have to stop talking to him. If he apologises for what he said would you talk to him?"

"No."

"But I thought you said."

"I know."

"Lauren, sorry, Spider, why can't you speak to him?"

"I can't."

"Spider, is someone making you do things you don't want to do?"

"No, I trust him, I believe what he says. I am doing what is best."

"Spider, look at me." Lauren refused to look at him at first but the silence got to her and she slowly looked up. "Do you know the last time I said that about someone?"

_"No."_

"Do you know who I said that about?"

_"No."_

"The person who got me into drugs. The person who got me addicted. The person who I thought knew everything there was to know. That I would be safe."

"He's not like that. He isn't into drugs."

"Spider, listen to what I am saying. That person was somebody I thought I loved."

_"But..."_

"Just because they say they love you doesn't mean they do. They always want something in return."

_"He said he would buy me things."_

"Why?"

"If I got my allowance taken away from me he said he would buy me whatever I wanted, whatever I needed. He also provided an answer for everything I said that would cause a problem with Victor, such as him driving me to school, so I wouldn't have to be close to him."

"Because he knew what was happening?"

"I don't know."

"Lauren -Spider, why do you trust him?"

_"Because he said, he said he loved me."_

"And you believed him?"

"He told me I had no reason not to believe him, and that I should trust him."

"And do you?"

"I thought I did."

"Victor thinks he is only after one thing. What do you think?"

"I don't know."

"Doesn't that say something... that you don't know?"

"I suppose. But he is so insistent."

"Sleep on it. I am staying overnight, so if for whatever reason you need to talk I am here." Kyle smiled. "I am also here to make sure that Amy doesn't do anything stupid."

"Like me."

"Like mother, like daughter."

"Don't call me Spider anymore."

"Thank god, it's such a weird name."

"He said it was cute and suited me, because I..."

"Because you, what?"

"I can sneak out through the window and climb up and down the side of the house like a spider."

"Ok, guess I won't tell your mom about that."

"Well she knows it's possible, she did it. Uncle Peter said so."

"Never took him as someone who betrayed trust."

"He said mom didn't know he knew."

"Ahh."

"Hey look its snowing."

"What?" Lauren moved to the window.

"It's snowing, wow, I wish it could have snowed before, we could have had a snow day."

"Let's hope that we have a white Christmas then, huh?"

_"Yeah. That would be nice."_

_

* * *

_

_'Well, I will keep calling you to see  
If you're sleepin are you dreamin and  
If you're dreamin are you dreamin of me?  
I cant believe,  
You actually picked... me'_

_

* * *

_

Amy walked quietly into the family room, and snuck around the side of the couch where David lay.

_"Couldn't sleep either?"_

_"No need to be so smug about it."_

_"I'm not being smug, I couldn't sleep without you."_

_"I miss the way you hold me and make me feel safe."_

_"I miss the way you fit into my arms, and I miss the sound of you breathing."_

_"Sorry."_ They both smiled.

_"Come here."_ David pulled Amy to him, they lay so they were spooned together and David pulled the blanket over them both. After a few minutes of silence Amy spoke.

_"Yes."_

_"Huh?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Is there some reason you are randomly saying yes, that I don't know about? Wait, oh, yes! You mean it?"_

_"Yes."_ Amy turned her head so she was facing him.

_"I love you."_

_"I love you too."_ They shared a kiss before falling into a peaceful sleep.

_

* * *

'Well, I will keep calling you to see  
If you're sleepin are you dreamin and  
If you're dreamin are you dreamin of me?  
I cant believe,  
You actually picked... me_

_I will keep calling you to see  
If you're sleepin are you dreamin and  
If you're dreamin are you dreamin of me?  
I cant believe,  
You actually picked... me'_


	53. In Too Deep

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. I also do not own any songs used in any of the chapters, nor do I own the singers/song writers.

**Chapter 53: In Too Deep**

_"Kyle? Kyle?"_ Lauren tried not to cry, but what Valentino had said, scared her. _"Kyle wake up you dope!"_

_"Lauren? Why are you doing in here?"_ Kyle rubbed his eyes.

_"You said if I needed to talk... he called me."_ Kyle sat up and wrapped his arms around her.

_"He called you?"_ He looked at the clock it was 2am._ "I didn't hear the phone ring."_

_"He bought me a mobile so he would be able to phone me whenever he wanted to."_

_"He bought you a phone?"_

_"Uhuh."_ Kyle rubbed her back trying to calm her down.

_"What did he say?"_

_"He was just phoning to say hi, and I told him that I thought we should cool it off a bit, cause it is the holidays, and itwill be near impossible to stay away from Victor and he said that he would hurt Victor and my family if I... if I broke up with him."_

_"You didn't say you were going to break up with him though did you?"_

_"No, I just wanted him to relax the rules, god that sounds so stupid. I just wanted him to relax them for the holidays."_

_"What did he say?"_

_"He hung up on me."_

_"What are the rules of you phoning him?"_

_"I don't know, I just know that I can't use this phone to call anyone else but him."_

_"Can't, or not allowed?"_

_"Not allowed. He's the only one who knows the number too, it's his secret phone."_

_"Oh Lauren, how did you let it get this far?" _Kyle sighed, running a hand through his hair.

_"I didn't know, not until you spoke with me. I just thought Victor was jealous and I thought... I've never had a proper boyfriend before, he is older so I didn't think that anything was wrong."_

_"Cause he made you feel so special?"_

_"Yeah, with everything that has been going on around here; well it just made me feel like I was wanted, needed. I liked it."_

_"I can understand that. But you need to know that we all want you here, and that we do need you and love you. If anything happened to you... none of us want you to be hurt, ok?"_

_"Yeah, I know that now. What you said made sense."_

_"I'll have to get you to write that down, nobody else thinks so."_ Lauren laughed._ "Do you think you will be able to sleep?"_

_"I don't know."_

_"How about if you phone him and say you didn't mean to make him think you were breaking up, that you still want to be with him. You just didn't want to make him mad when you were around Victor on Christmas Day."_

_"I could send him a text message, than he could phone me if he didn't like it and it won't wake him up if he's asleep."_

_"That's a good idea. You feel happier now?"_

_"Yeah. Thank you."_

_"No worries. That's what family is for."_

_"You won't tell mom will you?"_

_"And risk her killing me for not telling her sooner? No way."_

_"See you in the morning then."_

_"Yep, see you later kiddo." _Kyle fell back on the bed and sighed. He was going to have to watch her and make sure she stayed safe, as well as make sure she didn't make any more stupid decisions.

* * *

_'The faster we're falling,  
We're stopping and stalling.  
We're running in, circles again  
Just as things we're looking up  
You said it wasn't good enough.  
But still we're trying one more time. _

_Maybe we're just trying to hard.  
When really it's closer than it is too far'

* * *

_

"LAUREN? LAUREN! WHERE ARE YOU? LAUREN?"

"What the** hell** is all the noise in here...ah Amy." Kyle stumbled into Lauren's room, still half asleep.

"Kyle have you seen Lauren?"

"I've been asleep."

"Well she isn't here, and her window is wide open."

"Ok, maybe she just went out early to meet some friends."

"That would have meant she would have been up at 5am."

"What time is it?" Kyle looked around for a clock.

"Just gone half past."

"Five! Are you kidding me? You woke me up at half five?"

"Sorry. I came to check on her and she wasn't here."

"Didn't think to look downstairs?"

"I **was** downstairs. I was on the couch with David."

"Did you check your room?"

"No."

"Well maybe she is in there."

"Well if she was, don't you think she would have come in here like you did?"

"Maybe she is ignoring you." Amy glared at him before glancing into her room.

"Nope not there."

"Maybe she went to see Darkness."

"At five?" Amy looked at him with disbelief on her face.

"Maybe he is an early riser."

"Lauren doesn't get up early, even if money is involved."

"Well that's what love can do for you. If I remember rightly, you hated camping; yet you still went with Stu."

"Shut up, that was different. For one thing, I didn't want to go, mom made me." Amy looked under the bed. "And I wasn't in love with him."

"Amy, Lauren is not likely to be under the bed. She is 13 not 5."

"Oh be quiet."

"Fine, I am going back to bed." Kyle turned and started to walk back to the warm bed he wished he hadn't left.

"Wait. So you think she is with Darkness?" He groaned before turning round, trying to get his brain and mouth to cooperate so he could answer.

"Yeah, he was mad at her, maybe she has gone to say sorry."

"Gone to say sorry? What did she do?"

"Can't tell you that."

"Yes you can! I am her mother."

"Exactly. I have already said to much."

"When did she speak to you?"

"This morning."

"You were asleep. You said you hadn't seen her."

"I spoke to her at 2 in the morning."

"Why?"

"Cause I said she could."

"Why?"

"Because I did, now I am going back to bed. I have work tonight and I don't particularly want to be tired. I might kill somebody."

* * *

_'Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,  
All the thoughts in my head, instead of going under.  
Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,  
All the thoughts in my head, instead of going under.  
Instead of going under.'_

* * *

Valentino swerved round another car, which he commented had been going slower than a snail. In her opinion, they were just going too fast. 

"Why did you have to get me this early?"

"I wanted to show you something."

"My parents are going to kill me when I get home."

"I thought your parents were separated."

"They are."

"But you said parents, not parent."

"Well that's cause Victors dad is asking my mom to marry him. So he will be my new dad. That is why I said parents."

"Do you call him dad?"

"No, not yet. I call him D, which he now knows stands for that. Victor calls my mom, mom though."

"Creep." Although Lauren disagreed, she knew better than to argue about it, so she stayed silent.

"Where are we going?"

"Stop asking questions. It is annoying."

"Sorry." Lauren watched the signs leading out of Hartford flash past as they continued to speed on. She looked down at her feet and saw some beer cans. "Have you been drinking?"

"Yeah, what about it? You made me upset."

"Where did you get them? I mean you aren't old..."

"They are my dads. Stop asking questions."

_"You're scaring me."_

"What was that?"

"Sl, sl, slow down. You're sc, scaring me."

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!" Valentino sped up, and Lauren gasped in shock as he put his arm around her. "Bit jumpy today?" Lauren nodded but didn't speak. She closed her eyes and tried to fight away the nauseous feeling that was creeping up on her. "Are you ok? You look a bit pale." The sudden change from anger to concern made her eyes fly open and she stared at him. "Answer my question. You know I don't like to be ignored."

_"I feel a bit sick." _Lauren managed to get out while still fighting the urge to vomit.

"Guess I'll just have to drive faster to get there then. What do you think?" Lauren nodded numbly. They shot past a parked police car and Lauren sighed in relief as it made after them, siren blaring and lights flashing. "Shit!" But instead of slowing down, Valentino sped up.

"Please stop! You'll only make things worse." But he didn't seem to hear her.

"Plan, got to come up with a plan." He glanced at her and then smiled. "You're ill. I'll just say I was trying to find somewhere safe to stop so you could be sick." He squeeezed her to him and laughed. "Still feeling sick?" Lauren nodded. "Good, make it all the more believable." He slowed the car gradually and pulled over. As soon as they had pulled to a halt Lauren jumped out and threw up. She didn't hear the officers get out, or register the fact that there was somebody behind her until she spoke.

"Are you ok miss?" Lauren shook her head. "Did he take you against your will?" Again she shook her head. "Why were you with him?" Lauren threw up again and started crying. "You're not in any trouble we just need to know. My partner is charging him for drink driving, pocession of a stolen car, and pocession of a class A drug." Lauren wiped away her tears and slowly turned round.

"The car isn't stolen, his dad gave it to him for his birthday, and he was upset with me that was why he was drinking. But he hasn't drunk anything since I got in the car which was just after 3."

"I'm afraid the car is stolen, it was reported missing over a month ago, and he was over the legal limit." The officer looked at Lauren with concern. "Are you still feeling sick?"

"No, I feel better now."

"Just nerves then, huh?"

"Yeah."

"Where were you going?"

"I don't know. He wouldn't tell me. He told me to stop asking questions because it was annoying him."

Looking at Lauren critically she asked the question that was nagging at her. "Did he hurt you?"

"No, he just scared me."

"Did he give you anything?"

"Excuse me?"

"Did he give you anything to hide?"

"No, the only thing he has given me was a mobile... so he would always be able to reach me."

"Can I see it?" Lauren handed it over and the officer called in the registration number inside the cover. "Looks like he actually bought you something. Must have really liked you to spend his own cash."

"You can have it. He only let me ring him on it anyway. Nobody else knows I have it, well except my cousin but he only found out this morning."

"So your cousin knows you are with him?"

"No."

"But you have been with this boy since 3 how could your..."

"I woke him up about 2, cause somethings that Darkness said scared me."

"What did he say?"

"He said that he was going to hurt my ex-boyfriend and my family."

"Why?"

"Because I made him mad, because I said I couldn't stay away from Victor."

"Is Victor your ex-boyfriend?"

"Yes."

"Why couldn't you stay away from Victor?"

"Because he lives in the same house as me."

"Are you in a childrens home?"

"No, his dad lives with us too, he is going to marry my mom."

"Where is your dad?"

"I don't know, the last time I saw him, he hit me."

"He hit you!"

"Yeah it was in hospital."

"He was in hospital?"

"No, my mom was. He was mad at me because I snuck out to see mom when he said I couldn't go see her."

"Ok." The officer was thoroughly confused but let Lauren continue.

"It was my weekend with him, and mom was attacked by somebody who slit her throat..."

"Your mom is Judge Gray?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"That story is all over the station... You are quite a while from home."

"We've been driving since 3."

"Well that makes sense." The officer frowned.

"I kept asking him to slow down but it was making him mad, and when I told him I felt sick he just drove faster saying that he was going to have to get there faster."

"Where is there?"

"I already told you, I don't know where we were going."

"SPIDER! YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS!" Valentino yelled as he was being placed into the back of the squad car.

"Who's Spider?"

"That's what he calls me. My mom doesn't know about him, I've been sneaking out of the house."

"Out your window, huh?"

"Yeah, how did you know?" The officer smiled.

"I was the same. Makes sense with the name too. Now would you like to go home?"

"Yeah, but I don't want to go near him, he scares me. He already threatened my family, his dad is weird, he is never around, and Darkness wouldn't tell me what he does and why he isn't around. Sometimes he doesn't come home for weeks."

"Is Darkness his real name?"

"Yes, well it's his last name."

"What's his first name?"

"Valentino."

"I see. Well, I'll just go speak to my partner, I'll be back in a second."

"Ok." Lauren sat down and put her head in her arms, breathing deeply trying to calm herself down and go over all the events in her head; everything thathad happened since her conversation with Kyle.

* * *

_'Seems like each time  
I'm with you, I loose my mind,  
Because I'm bending over backwards to relate.  
It's one thing to complain  
But when you're driving me insane  
Well then I think it's time that we took a break._

_Maybe we're just trying to hard.  
When really it's closer than it is too far'_

* * *

"I'm so worried about her." Amy snuggled into David's arms. 

"Don't be. I know this isn't much comfort, but how do you know she doesn't do this every morning?"

"I would know."

"You aren't normally up at this time, are you?"

"I guess not."

"So she might be back soon, and then you would have been worrying for nothing."

"But she could have gone anytime from between 2 and 5."

"Why 2?"

"Because, that is when she woke Kyle up to speak to him."

"Why did she do that?"

"I don't know. Kyle refused to tell me. Something about the fact I am her mom so he couldn't tell me."

"But he could tell me."

"True, but I don't want to wake him, he has work tonight, and as he pointed out; him being tired could mean somebodies life."

"Guess we'll have to wait then."

"But I don't want to." Amy pouted.

"Don't do that, spoils you beautiful face." Amy smiled and laid her head on Davids chest.Gradually, the slow beating of his heart lulled her back to sleep. Leaving David alone to worry about Lauren.

* * *

_'Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,  
All the thoughts in my head, instead of going under.  
Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,  
All the thoughts in my head, instead of going under.  
Instead of going under.  
Instead of going under.  
Instead of going under...'_

* * *

"So you won't go in and speak to my mom?" Lauren sat with the car door open. 

"No, I don't really see the need to. You are fine and Mr Darkness has calmed down enough to say he didn't mean anything about hurting your family. But if you are sent any messages you have to tell them immediately."

"I will. I am going to tell my cousin Kyle everything anyway."

"You need to tell an adult."

"He is. Really he is my mom's cousin not mine."

"Kyle McCarty?"

"Yeah, you know him?"

"I know of him."

"Oh cause of the drug thing?"

"Yeah, you know about that?"

"Yeah, the whole family knows. He told me why he got into drugs last night, cause of some girl he knew."

"Should you really be telling me this?"

"I guess not, but he didn't tell me it was a secret."

"But he told you in confidence."

"Yeah, I guess I should stop talking about it."

"Uhuh."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Recuing me. I didn't even know where we were going, anything could have happened. He has a reputation."

"Let's just say you owe me."

"Thank you again then. I would be in so much trouble if they found out."

"But you know your mom could eventually find out, right? And that if we need to speak to you about it, she will have to be told."

"I know, and I will tell her, just not right now. I kinda like my life."

"Good luck. Have a nice Christmas."

"Thanks, you too. Bye." Lauren got out of the car and waved the car away before sneaking around the side of the house and up into her bedroom. She almost screamed when she saw somebody in her bed. "Kyle! What are you doing in my bed. I thought I locked the doors."

Kyle yawned and stretched. "Your mom unlocked the connecting doors, she was looking for you. So I thought I would wait for you and tell you your mom is on very worried."

"Oh, well, it's all over now."

"You dumped him?"

"Yeah."

"How did that go?"

"I don't really know, he was being taken away by the cops at the time."

"Oh my god, are you alright?"

"Yeah, we were just pulled over for drinking and driving, and he had some class A drugs on him. So I guess I won't really be seeing him for quite a while. I wasn't into long distance relationships." Kyle smiled and pulled her intoa hug. "Hey, get off me."

"What I can't show you how much I am proud of you."

"No, I am a teenager and I don't like that kind of thing." Lauren laughed and punched him in the arm.

* * *

_'I can't sit back and wonder why.  
It took so long for this to die.  
And I hate it, when you fake it.  
You can't hide it, you might as well embrace it.  
So believe me, it's not easy.  
It seems that something's telling me;'_

* * *

"LAUREN CASSIDY, OPEN UP YOUR DOOR RIGHT NOW!" 

"No!"

"Lauren open your door now!"

"I'm talking."

"I don't care if you are talking the President or the Queen of England! Now open up the door now! You better not be talking to Darkness!"

"Don't be stupid! And I'm not talking to Darkness, he isn't an issue anymore."

"Who are you talking to then?"

"Kyle."

"Open up the door Kyle."

"Sorry Lauren, I would prefer to keep all my body parts safe." He got up and opened the door.

"Where were you at half five this morning?"

"I don't know." Lauren answered truthfully

"Don't mess with me, I came in here and you weren't there. I was downstairs so don't even bother saying that's where you were."

"I went out."

"Who with?"

"Darkness, I broke up with him and then came home."

"You are grounded for a month, and no allowance."

"But..."

"No buts. You're just lucky I have some Christmas spirit or you wouldn't be getting any presents."

"But..."

"And you will be staying in your room for the rest of the day. Do you understand?" Amy took a deep breath and calmed herself down. There was no point killing her, when justa moment a go she had been wondering if she was ok.

"Yes mom."

"Right well, I'll send Kyle up with your food seen as you prefer to talk to him instead of me." Lauren nodded. "I hope you learn from this, when I got caught sneaking out my dad nailed the window shut."

"Oh, I always wondered what all those holes were."

"Yes well, you would have the same fate, apart from the reason he un-nailed them was because of fire risks."

"Oh, right."

"I also want you to tidy up this room, it's a dump."

"Ok." Amy smiled.

"And I said yes to David."

"You did!"

"Yeah."

"Finally! You better not ruin it this time though, or me and Victor breaking up would have been for nothing."

"Yeah yeah. Now get tidying!"

* * *

_'I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,  
All the thoughts in my head, instead of going under.  
Cause I'm in too deep, and I'm trying to keep,  
All the thoughts in my head, instead of going under.  
Instead of going under.  
Instead of going under._

_Instead of going under again.  
Instead of going under.  
Instead of going under again.  
Instead of going under again...'_


	54. Yours Forever

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. I also do not own any songs used in any of the chapters, nor do I own the singers/song writers.

**Chapter 54: Yours Forever**

_'When the daylight's gone and you're on your own  
And you need a friend just to be around  
I will comfort you, I will take your hand  
And I'll pull you through, I will understand _

And you know that'

* * *

"I can't believe that... do you think it is the same one?" Amy sat on the couch in her chambers. 

"If I knew what you were talking about maybe I would be able to tell you." Bruce smiled as he sat down.

"Valentino Darkness... there can't be too many with the same name surely?"

"I wouldn't think so. Where do you know him from?"

"Lauren was going out with him."

"You'll have to withdraw from the case."

"I never met him, and he never met me. In fact I didn't even know she was going out with him till the day before she broke up with him."

"So you don't know anything about him."

"No."

"You know you might hear some things about Lauren, and if she is called as a witness that is going to cause a problem."

"I don't believe she will be, she isn't registered as a witness. Besides, what would she have to do with a stolen car, driving whilst under the influence and being in pocession of a class A drug. It hasn't even been decided whether this should be trialed in adult or juvenile."

"But if it is, you could run the risk of a mistrial."

"I don't want to withdraw myself now, it would look suspiscious." Amy looked down at the file, the dates, and began to read the police report. "You have got to be kidding me... she is in so much trouble she will be grounded till the day she dies."

"What did she do?"

"She was in the car with him when he was arressted."

"He was drunk wasn't he? She knows better than that, at least I thought she did."

"Apparantly she went on her own free will, because she was scared... he had threatened to hurt her family and Victor."

"Ok, I really think you should withdraw yourself from this."

"I think that it deserves to be moved to adult. He has done too many things, for him not to know. The fact thathis father is away a lot is a matter of concern and I am sure DCF will want some say in the matter, but..."

"Would you be doing the same thing, making the same decision if this didn't involve your daughter?"

"I think... I don't know. Bruce what am I going to do. I'm stuck."

"Amy you can do this. You don't need me to tell you that. Surely." Bruce moved to sit beside her. "Come here." He pulled her into his arms and she sank into the embrace.

* * *

_'I'll be at your side, there's no need to worry  
Together we'll survive through the haste and hurry  
I'll be at your side  
If you feel like you're alone, and you've nowhere to turn  
I'll be at your side'_

_

* * *

_

"I'm sorry V, I was being such a..."

"Don't worry about it L, I understand. I've seen what he was like before. I didn't want you getting hurt, but I understand your reaction. It was an obvious conclusion to come to that I was just being jealous."

"That's no excuse though. You were trying to protect me, and I ignored you. Trusting him and not you. I should have trusted you before I trusted him."

"Chill L, I don't mind, at least now we are back to being friends."

"Yeah, I hope we always will be."

"We will." They hugged each other in a tight embrace, and Lauren realised how lucky she was to have the family she had, and Victor realised how lucky he was to be included in this family. To once again have a chance at a normal life.

* * *

_'If life's standing still and your soul's confused  
And you cannot find what road to choose  
If you make mistakes  
__(Make mistakes)  
You can't let me down  
(Let me down)  
I will still believe  
(Still believe)  
I will turn around _

And you know that'

_

* * *

_

"I thought Blake would never shut up." Amy groaned as she walked back to her chambers, having transferred Valentino Darkness' case to adult court.

"You ought to be careful insulting lawyers when you are out in the corridors. Somebody might take offence."

"And my badly disguised yawn wasn't insult enough?" Bruce smirked.

"I had trouble controlling myself."

"The ever controlled mask of Bruce Van Exel...slipping!"

"I took the time to practise, but I was put off by your lack of etiquette."

"I must have stopped practisingin Kindergarten, cause mine is crap."

"Doesn't suprise me!"

"Hey!" Bruce chuckled as he opened the door and let Amy walk in first.

"Just because you can't cut it, with the big guns."

"Oh and you have big gun huh?"

"I'm not saying a thing."

"God you are such a man!"

"Finally noticed then?"

"Finally noticed what?" Amy looked up to see David leaning against the door.

"David! Where were you at lunch?"

"Ah the wrath of Judge Amy Gray. Good luck." Bruce laughed making a quick exit as Amy glared at him.

"I'm sorry, a hearing ran late. Didn't get out till you were about to go back to looking after the kiddies."

"Don't talk about juvenile court like that. It's important!"

"Till you send them to adult court. For which I get to take a crack at them."

"That is mean. You're making me not want to send them, you have that uncanny way of winning. Even when the defense attorney hasthe upper hand."

"What can I say, I'm talented!"

"I think I've gone mad, all the men in my life have suddenly become ultra vain."

"Or maybe you just never noticed it, I mean I can't speak for every man, but I for one have always been slightly vain." He flicked his non-existed hair over his shoulder.

"As I said, I have gone mad!" Amy laughed.

_

* * *

_

_'I'll be at your side, there's no need to worry  
Together we'll survive through the haste and hurry  
I'll be at your side  
If you feel like you're alone, and you've nowhere to turn  
I'll be at your side'

* * *

_

"HEY V. COME HERE. I FOUND SOMETHING REALLY FUNNY!" Lauren shouted around her giggles.

"I'm here,what's so funny?"

"This look." She clicked on the replay button.

_'Eggs! Get your eggs, here!  
__Fresh and white eggs are here!_

_Wiggle jiggle, yellow middle  
__That's the best of what you are  
__(I love you egg!)_

_White and tender, surround the centre  
__Cozy, sitting in the crackling shell  
__(I love you!)_

_Vitamins and, Minerals in you  
__Oodles of the protein too!  
__(Oodle Doodle!)_

_Popular and perfect and  
__So complete in every way!  
__(I love you egg, egg)_

_Come into my tummy  
__Oh so very yummy!_

_Crack, crack, crack  
__Chip and chip away your shell and  
__Come-to-me_

_(Get your eggs!)_

_I love you  
__(Fresh egg!)  
__I love you  
__(White eggs!)  
__Really, really love you so!  
__(Eggs, fresh, fresh eggs)_

_Eggs, I really love you  
__Like the sky above  
__(Eggs are the best!)_

_I love you  
__(Fresh egg!)  
__I love you  
__(White eggs!)  
__Really, really love you so!  
__(Eggs, fresh, fresh eggs)_

_Three hundred and sixty five days,  
__Ireally love you so_

_I really love you so!_

_Ooh... yummy!'_

"Where did you find that?"

"I was just searching and I found it, I've listened to it so many times."

"Put it on again." Lauren moved over on the chair and Victor sat down next to her.

_

* * *

_

_'I'll be at your side  
I'll be at your side  
You know that'_

* * *

"Where are the kids?" 

"In the den."

"It's safe to do this then..." David pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her. Only to be interrupted by somebody clearing theirthroat.

"I don't mean to interrupt, but I was just wondering who's turn it was to cook dinner."

"Vincent's."

"Have you seen him?"

"No, I haven't seen him since this morning."

"Looks like it will be take-away then."

"Why don't you phone him?"

"Tried, his phone is switched off. I will order us some pizza, that ok with you?"

"Yeah, get whatever. You better ask the kids though, Lauren is becoming ultra picky."

"Ok." Maxine smiled and left the kitchen.

"Now where were we?"

"I believe we were just," Amy reached up and hung her arms around his neck, "about," slowly moving up so her lips were barely touching his, "here." David smiled before holding her close to him as they kissed. Slowly reaching into his pocket he pulled out the ring that she had yet to wear. Slowly he pulled back from her and held it in front of him.

"I think it is about time that you had this. Can't just go about with a bare finger now can we?" Amy smiled as she looked at the ring as he slid it onto her finger. "Perfect, just like you."

"You are so cheesy, you know that right!"

"But you love me just the same." Amy laughed as he pulled her back into his embrace. "I love you."

"Love you to." Their lips joined they held each other close, hoping that this was one thing that would never change.

* * *

_'I'll be at your side, there's no need to worry  
Together we'll survive through the haste and hurry  
I'll be at your side  
If you feel like you're alone, you've got somewhere to go,  
'Cos I'm right there  
I'll be at your side, I'll be right there for you  
(Together we'll survive)  
Through the haste and hurry  
I'll be at your side  
If you feel like you're alone, you've got somewhere to go,  
'Cos I'm at your side_

_I'll be right there for you  
I'll be right there for you, yeah  
I'm right at your side'  
_


	55. Caught

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 55: Caught**

Once again he was watching her, watching as she went about her life. He had seen her daughter, seen her going out, sneaking out. He had been proud, but now, now he was mad. Like never before.

* * *

_  
'In the darkest hole  
You'd be well advised  
Not to plan my funeral before the  
Body Dies_

_Come the morning light  
It's a see-through show  
What you may have heard and  
What you think you know'

* * *

_

Officers beat down the door, they stood shocked at what they found. The apartment was empty, just a note on the floor;

_'You may think you are clever enough to catch me  
But you should look among your own ranks....  
You came close, so close that I must congratulate you  
But it will be hard pressed to find me now  
Maybe next time when a traitor gives you information  
You should follow it up  
You might surprise yourself once in a while  
Catch a real criminal, not some low town theif who stole a lipstick  
Maybe you'll get the the one who killed, and yet lived to tell the tale  
Or not as the case may be _

My confession  
M.Darkness'

_

* * *

__'Let the sun never blind your eyes  
Let me sleep so my teeth won't grind  
Hear a sound from a voice inside_

_Sure to play a part  
So you love the game  
And in truth your lies  
Become one and same'_

* * *

"Guess he told you more than, took my advice did you?"

"Marcus Darkness you are under arrest for mulitple murders and...."

"If you had figured it out quicker, maybe I wouldn't feel so bad, but being caught by bumbling idiots.... it's a shame on my family."

"Murdering innocent women is the shame on your family; not being caught."

"That is where you are wrong, **very** wrong."

"You are being brought into custody, you may wish to stay silent, as anything you say can be used against you in a court of law...."

Several officers watched as the man who had caused the biggest mystery of the century across the state of Connecticut being hand-cuffed and placed in the back of the van.

* * *

_'I could set you free  
Rather hear the sound  
Of your body breaking  
As I take you down_

_Let the sun never blind your eyes  
Let me sleep so my teeth won't grind  
Hear a sound from a voice inside'

* * *

_

"Are you kidding me?" David stood in disbelief after answering the phone.

"David what is it?"

"They caught him, _they caught him_." David turned back to the phone, with a choked up voice. _"Yeah, we'll swing by tomorrow. Thank you."_ He hung up and burst into tears. Amy got up and wrapped her arms around him.

"What are you talking about?" He managed to calm himself and cleared his throat before speaking.

"They caught him. It's over, everything is over. Even Roderick Jones. There is so much.... we just have to go speak to them, give another statement, then it's over.... you have to identify him though." Amy tensed.

"Then it will be over?"

"Yes."

"Well tomorrow, we will be free."

"Tomorrow we will be free." David echoed.

* * *

_'In the darkest hole  
You'd be well advised  
Not to plan my funeral before the  
Body dies_

_Let the sun never blind your eyes  
Let me sleep so my teeth won't grind  
Hear a sound from a voice inside'  
_


	56. Ordinary

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. Nor do i own any songs or the singers/songwriters used in this or any other chapter.

**Chapter 56: Ordinary**

_'I'm just an ordinary girl,  
In an ordinary place  
With the usual clothes,  
And the usual face'_

* * *

Amy stood in David's arms in her chambers. They had just spent 4 hours dicussing the outcome of Roderick Jones and Marcus Darkness case. Hopefully if everything went to plan, they would be put away for a very, very long time. 

"I can't believe all of that had to happen to me. To you.To us."

"I know it's crazy. Just one thing after another, but it's all over now."

"Finally some peace and quiet."

"Shall we go home?"

"I think Bruce will kill me if I do. He normally has my docket full to bursting."

"So he kills you anyway?"

"I like working under pressure, it keeps me focused."

"Ok, workoholic. You know they have help groups for things like that."

"Hey, pot calling the kettle black!" David brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face, and Amy leant into the touch.

"I love you, so much."

""I love you too." Just as their lips were about to touch, Bruce walked through the door. He cleared his throat, but didn't leave. "Bruce?"

"I have cleared your docket for the rest of the day. You are free to leave whenever you choose. Although you will have to work twice as hard tomorrow if we don't want it to be stressful on the last day of work."

"Thank you Bruce."

"No problem."

* * *

_'Wishing I was wise to the ways of the world  
I'll always be,  
Just another ordinary girl'_

* * *

"Victor." David sat down next to him, as he sulked on the couch. "Victor look at me." 

"Why should I?"

"Victor what's so bad about it?"

"Lauren and I, we'll both be like totally ignored. Cause it will be something special between you two. It's just gross, it means you've... I don't want to know. It's too much information. Just leave me alone!" Victor jumped up, grabbed his skateboard and left slamming the front door behind him.

* * *

_'I've got plans,  
Of where I'm going  
But when the weather's bad,  
I just stay home'_

* * *

"Let me in noodle." Amy leaned against her door, after trying the handle. 

"No! You've ruined my life. You're not even married."

"Yet! We're not married yet."

"Well don't expect to talk to me till you are."

"But how can I plan my wedding without you, noodle?"

"I'm not a baby, stop calling me that. You have a new baby now to call noodle. Besides I'm sure Aunt Gillian will help you with planning the wedding."

"I'm not calling the baby noodle, that's your name."

"Whatever mom, call IT whatever you want."

"Don't call the baby IT. It is a baby not an it."

"I'll call IT what I want! NOW GO AWAY!"

* * *

_'I wait for something,  
Great to happen  
While I sit around'_

* * *

"Well that went better than I thought it would." Amy burst into tears as David held her. 

"Hey, don't worry. They will come around. Just think about when we first got together. They hated us then, they were soon happy with it and broke up with each other themselves."

"I've already ruined Lauren's life. Which means I've now ruined Victor's life."

"I was involved too you know. It's not all your fault!" David started to rub her back in small soothing circles.

"Well I'll just blame it on you then."

"And why would that be?"

"Cause you don't take no for an answer." David chuckled.

* * *

_'Am I trapped?  
Or am I faking?  
Is this cage of,  
My own making'_

* * *

"I can't believe they did this." Victor sat on the bed watchingLauren pace her room. 

"It's not like they did it on purpose, is it?"

"Yeah, cause like they don't sleep in the same bed or anything!" Lauren said sarcastically.

"L... I don't want to think about them, you know, doing that."

"Sorry." She sighed and threw herself on the bed beside him.

"That's ok... but they didn't mean this to happen did they?"

"I suppose not."

"And they are getting married."

"True."

"Do you think we over reacted?"

"Maybe."

* * *

_'I'm not surprised of the ways of the world  
I'll always be,  
Just another ordinary girl_

_Wishing I was wise to the ways of the world'_

* * *

Lauren and Victor walked slowly and cautiously towards Amy's room. They knocked on the door and David opened it. 

"Sorry for the way we reacted." David moved back to the bed and put an arm around Amy.

"That's ok." Amy sniffed.

"Are you ok mom?" Victor asked concerned, to see her crying.

"Yeah, just hormones."

"Ewww!" Victor screwed up his face.

"You asked." David smiled.

"I didn't want to know though."

"Boys!" Lauren pushed Victor.

"Girls!" He pushed back.

"Boys aren't meant to hit girls."

"I didn't hit, I pushed. Big difference, if you are unsure you can look it up in a dictionary."

"Wow! I didn't even know you knew what a dictionary was, I mean you are a boy!"

"And what you just said was so sexist!"

Lauren had stopped listening and had a thoughtful look on her face. "Ooh I hope it's a girl!"

"It better be a boy. There are too many girls in this house already. I'll be able to teach it to skateboard!"

"Hey! You can teach a girl to skateboard."

"Or not." Amy jumped in. "You can teach him/her something less dangerous."

"Skateboarding isn't dangerous." Victor defended his hobby.

"Victor, to me it is."

"Yeah Victor, and what she says...goes!" Victor went to object again, but Lauren was too quick for him. "Don't forget the hormones." They all laughed as Victor backed out of the room.

"Don't want to know!" He put his hands over his ears and continued to chant this as he backed away.

* * *

_'If I could only be so fine  
There's just one thing I can't define  
It's the kind of thing,  
And back goes he_

_An ordinary girls,  
Dreams'_

* * *

"So what do you think it is?" 

"What are you talking about?" Maxine asked completely baffled as she hung her coat up.

"If it's a boy or girl. Victor thinks it's a boy, but I think it's a girl. What do you think?"

"I have no idea."

"Guess."

"It's not really something you can guess Lauren."

"Well what do you **want** it to be?"

"I don't mind. Although I think it should be a girl, because as we have Walt, Ned and Victor, I think they will start ganging up on us old girls."

"Victor says there is already enough girls."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, cause I mean Ned and Walt don't live here."

"That is true. Although Amy had to have two brothers, it can't be that bad."

"Mom says it was. She had nobody to talk to."

"She had me."

"That's not the same. You were her mom. You can't tell your mom things."

"Uhuh."

"Do you think that me and Victor will be ignored when the new baby comes?"

"No. Why do you think that?"

"Cause it sometimes happens. Doesn't it? I mean that's what happens with some of the kids you deal with."

"Yes, it does happen in some families. But not this one. I mean you didn't get ignored when Ned was born did you?"

"That's different."

"Nor did Ned get ignored when Walt was born."

"True."

"Don't you have homework to do?"

"We're on vacation. You don't do homework on vacation."

* * *

_'Could it be,  
That what I see  
Is my excersising,  
Humility  
Cause I've danced along to a song I know  
I spin around  
I spin around_

_I'm just an girl,  
In an ordinary place  
With the usual clothes,  
And the usual face'_

* * *

David rubbed his face while waiting for coffee, he didn't hear Maxine come in and jumped when she spoke.

"I think they took it well."

"They didn't at first."

"Really?"

"Yeah, Victor stormed out of the house and Lauren locked herself in her room."

"Oh, I'm glad that I am late home that."

"You were lucky. I think they talked each other round though. They'll be good together."

"Yeah, you were lucky." Maxine smiled. "So where is the lady of the hour?"

"She's alseep. She's really tired."

"Too much emotional stress for one day, huh?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"Oh I forgot to ask about the whole..."

"It's over."

"So everything is sorted, they can't..."

"If they can it would be a miracle and I don't think **they** are that lucky."

"It should be easy from now on. Well easier than it has been."

"I hope so. I don't want Amy to be too stressed.We can finally get back to normal.I don't want anything bad to happen to the baby."

_'She's finally found someone worthy of her.'_ Maxine smiled as David walked back upstairs.

* * *

_'Wishing I was wise to the ways of the world  
And I'll always be,  
Just another ordinary girl_

_Wishing I was wise to the ways of the world  
And ordinary girl - downtown girl  
I'll always be,  
Just another ordinary girl'_


	57. All I Want For ChristmasPart 1

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. Nor do I own any songs, or the singers/songwriters.

**Chapter 57: All I Want For Christmas-Part 1**

_'Imagine me and you, I do  
I think about you day and night, it's only right  
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight  
So happy together'_

_

* * *

_"Morning Judge Gray." David sat on the edge of the bed and stroked her fringe out of her face as he kissed her forehead. 

"Stearly."

"Now that's not a word is it?" David smiled. "I believe you mean to say it's too early?"

"Shh."

"Honey it's almost lunch time."

"Don't care."

"Wow, actual words."

"Shut up. My back hurts and it's nice here."

"But..."

"I'm not getting up, ok? I don't have to so..." She jumped up and ran to the bathroom. David followed and held her hair back for her as she threw up.

"I thought you said you weren't getting up?"

"Not in the mood for this, David."

"Sorry. Couldn't resist."

"Well from now on - do." Amy groaned as she looked in the mirror. "I'm going back to bed. I look like death."

"No you don't."

"I do, and it's all your fault."

"It takes two to tango."

"It takes one to forget."

"Hey, you started it."

"Let's not go through that again. I just want to sleep." She crawled under the covers and promptly fell asleep again. David kissed her forehead and tucked the covers around her.

* * *

_'If I should call you up, invest a dime  
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind  
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine  
So happy together'_

* * *

"Why isn't mom up?" 

"She isn't feeling too good."

"Is she sick?"

"Course she is, she's pregnant." Lauren laughed as Victor pulled a face.

"I don't want to know."

"Victor, I want you to tidy up down here, make it all nice for when she comes down. Oh don't look so smug Lauren, you have the pleasant job of cleaning the kitchen."

"What are you going to be doing?"

"I have the best job of all... superviser."

"That's not a real job!"

"I will also be looking after Amy."

"We can do that."

"Yeah but i'm doing it so no!"

"That is so unfair!" Lauren pouted.

"Well how about I change the rules?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well until you have finished your chores; no computer, no tv, no phone, no friends, no going out... need I go on?" There was silence as Lauren had rushed off to the kitchen after the mention of no phone.

* * *

_'I can't see me lovin' nobody but you  
For all my life  
When you're with me,  
Baby the skies'll be blue  
For all my life'_

* * *

Amy laid on the bed trying to sleep, but Gillian was sitting next to her rambling on about the upcoming weddding and about what flowers would be better for the time of year. 

"Anyway I was thinking for the wedding you could have these..."

"Gillian I don't mean to be mean, but please SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"I'm sorry, I thought that... if you wanted to plan the wedding on your own, you just had to say!"

"Gillian, I don't feel upto it right now. I just want to sleep and you are not letting me. Sorry I snapped."

"That's alright. I wondered why you were in bed."

"Didn't David tell you?"

"I just walked up, he seemed busy." Gillian replied nervously. "I'm sorry."

"Oh."

"Hate to break up the party, but somebody requesteda bowl of soup." David walked slowly in, trying not to spill any of the soup on the floor.

"Hey honey." Amy nodded towards Gillian.

Catching her hint, hethought quickly. "Gillian, would you mind helping Lauren in the kitchen, I don't believe she knows how to clean properly, and I've heard such great things about your skills."

"Ooh definitely. Can't have a messy kitchen now can we?" She rushed out and Amy sighed in relief.

"Thank you. I would have preferred to go to work then this. Speaking of work why are you here?"

"Abner said I could take the day off. He was in a weird mood."

"Did you phone..."

"Me? Yep, I just thought you might get bored, so I brought you some files." Bruce stood in the doorway, no sure whether to enter or not.

"Bruce! Thank you. Although I wouldn't be bored if this place let me sleep."

"Hey! I'm bringing you soup!" David said in mock hurt.

"I asked for that." She reassured him. "I am talking about Gillian. Even the kids haven't been bothering me."

"Ah the legendary wedding planner!" Bruce chuckled.

"I just wish that she would just go ahead and do whatever she wants, she will anyway."

"Do you want me to tell her that?"

"No, I want to feel I do have some control on my wedding."

"Hmm, yeah." Bruce took a small step in. "Well here are the files, I better get back to the court house. Some people have to work you know!"

"Work? You, Bruce! Do you ever not work?"

"I don't know what you are talking about." Bruce smirked.

"Uhuh, I don't believe you have ever taken a sick day."

"Goodbye Judge Gray."

"Bye Bruce." Amy laughed as Bruce made his way back out of the room.

"Is he always like that?"

"Just about." Suddenly a wicked grin appeared on her face as she remembered a time when he had been different. "Unless he's drunk, then he is very, very different!"

* * *

_'Me and you and you and me  
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be  
The only one for me is you, and you for me  
So happy together'  
_

* * *

Lauren ran and jumped on Amy's bed. 

"Hey mom, we've like tidied the whole house. I feel like Cinderella."

"Get out of here Lauren and don't jump on the bed. It makes me want to..." But she didn't get a chance to finish what she was going to say, because a split second later she was in the bathroom throwing up again.

"I never want to get pregnant. Throwing up is yucky." Amy stumbled back into the bedroom.

"It wasn't this bad with you."

"So I was a good baby then?"

"Yeah, I suppose. What happened?"

"Haha mom."

"I believe I asked you to leave me. I need to sleep. It is the only time I don't feel sick."

"Ok, sorry. Do you want anything?"

"Peace and quiet." Lauren jumped off the bed and left closing the door behind her. "Finally."

* * *

_'If I should call you up, invest a dime  
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind  
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine  
So happy together'  
_

* * *

Lauren leant on the counter, watching Gillian scrub the sideboard. 

"Why do you throw up when your pregnant?"

"Well I believe it something to do with your body changing the way it works, and all the chemicals and such."

"Oh."

"It shouldn't last long though."

"Good, I don't like mom being ill. She gets moody."

"That's the hormones and they stay like that tillyou give birth."

"But that's like forever." Lauren whined.

"Slight exaggeration there." Gillian couldn't help but smile at her reaction.

"Your point?"

"Well, we should stop talking because it seems to affect your ability to clean."

"But it is clean! I can see my face, look!"

"Doesn't mean it's clean though, does it? You can't see germs... get scrubbing!"

"But my arm hurts from scrubbing."

"I don't believe that... you've hardly done anything!"

"This is child labour!"

"Lauren, just clean, you don't want your mom to have her raging hormones after you, now do you?"

"I don't want anything after me."

"Well then..." Lauren grabbed a cloth and got to work.

* * *

_'I can't see me lovin' nobody but you  
For all my life  
When you're with me,  
Baby the skies'll be blue  
For all my life  
For all my life_

_About my life _

Call you up  
Ease my mind, Ease my mind, Ease my mind!'

* * *

David opened the bedroom door, glancing at Amy. She seemed asleep and so began closing the door again. 

"David? If you're going to come in, come in. Don't keep opening the door."

"I'm sorry. I was just checking on you. I have to go into work. Abner needs my help."

"I thought he gave you the day off."

"He did, obviously his weird mood has worn off."

"How long will you be?"

"Not too long I hope. I will call you to tell you when I will be home."

"Ok, speak to you later then." David leant down to kiss her.

"Love you."

"Just get home quickly, ok?"

"I will."

"Love you."

* * *

_'I can't see me lovin' nobody but you  
For all my life  
When you're with me,  
Baby the skies'll be blue  
For all my life  
For all my life'_


	58. All I Want For ChristmasPart 2

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 58: All I Want For Christmas- Part 2**

Victor jumped up from where he was laying on the floor and announced he was heading into the kitchen for some left-overs.

"I can't believe it is possible to eat anymore." Amy complained.

"What? It's Christmas... you're meant to stuff yourself with food."

"Very true, Amy." Vincent jumped up and followed Victor into the kitchen.

"You're also not meant to be able to move!" She called after them.

"Boys, are so weird. You better have a girl mom." Lauren pulled a face.

"What are you going to do if it is a boy?"

"Pretend it is a girl, and teach him how to act nicely."

"You will do no such thing!" David protested.

"David! If she wants to do that, she can."

"But, he, it, if, then he..."

"You have no argument, so stop looking like a fish." David's mouth snapped shut as he turned to look at Amy. "Let's just hope it is a girl." He seemed to be happy with that, and pulled her into him, wrapping his arms around her.

"Eww, get a room you two!"

"Lauren, we are just cuddling."

"It's still..."

"They could be kissing Lauren, I would drop the losing battle now, if I were you." Peter smiled at Lauren as she cringed.

"Peter, don't be mean." Maxine laughed. "Besides, I would rather only have one person throwing up over Christmas... I mean if that is alright with you?" She lifted one eyebrow.

"Sorry ma."

"Yes well. I'm shocked you three lads aren't in there stuffing your face as well."

"I have work tonight, wouldn't do to be sick on patients." Kyle grimaced.

"I'm full." Both David and Peter said together, they smiled and then glanced at each other.

"You mean your women won't let you." Kyle ducked as a cushion was thrown with great skill at him.

"Now, now children." Several cushions were thrown at Maxine in retaliation. "You are doing nothing to disprove my point!" She laughed as a cushion fight began.

* * *

"I can't believe how tired I am." Amy sighed as she sat on the edge of their bed. 

"You have an excuse." David stroked her stomach.

"It's not fair, I'm already showing. It was almost twice as long before I started to show with Lauren."

"Oh well. Just means he wants us to know he's there."

"So you've decided she's a boy, then?"

"It is nicer than saying it."

"You could have called her, her."

"But I want it to be a boy."

"I thought you said you didn't mind which one she turned out to be!"

"I don't, but it would be nice to be able to teach another boy the ways of the world."

"You mean how to lear at girls."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Yeah, right."

"So when are you going for a scan?"

"In a couple of days."

"Gillian wants the wedding to be this week."

"I know. She wants it before I show too much."

"It would be nice though."

"What would be nice?"

"Being married to you."

"Well knowing Gillian and how stubborn she is, we will be married by Friday."

"Good."

"Glad to see you happy."

"I just want to be able to call you Mrs McClaren."

"Who says I will be changing my name?"

"You're, you're not changing it?"

"Haven't decided."

"Oh." David tried to hide his hurt by getting up to have a shower.

"David?" He turned slowly. "I would be honoured to be Mrs McClaren. Well technically Judge McClaren..." She was cut off by his lips descending onto hers.

"Thank you."

"You are crazy, you know that, right? I didn't mean to upset you. I was just playing."

"I'm sorry for getting upset."

"I can understand why." She pulled him back to her, brushing his lips with hers. "I love you so much, I never want you to be upset because of me. I'm sorry."

"I love you too."

* * *

Gillian was buzzing with energy as she explained all that she had planned so far to David.

"I got the church booked; there was a cancellation, and I managed to get their hotel where they also had the party planned. Everything is all set."

"So Thursday, everything is ready?"

"Just her dress and the bride's maid dresses to get."

"Thank you."

"Hey, what's a sister-in-law for?"

"I mean it Gillian, thank you. We couldn't have done it without you."

"Hey David, just make her happy, and don't abandon her like others have done, and that will be pay back enough."

"I will look after her. I love her too much to let anything bad happen to her."

"So when is the scan?"

"This afternoon."

"You'll have to show me the picture."

"What is it with women and those pictures? You can hardly see anything."

"You can too."

"Whatever. You just see what you want to see."

"No, us women can see what is there. You men are all blind."

* * *

Amy and David had just returned from doctors. Both with an extremely stunned expression on their faces. Maxine looked at them with concernas they both sat on the couch. The silence finally got to Maxine and she spoke up. 

"What's wrong?" All thoughts of what had happened to Gillian and Peter flashed through her mind.

"I'm, we're, they..." Still not able to get a straight answer out of Amy she turned to David who wasn't much more help.He had a weird smile forming on his face.

"Ok, I take it, it's not bad news, because of David smiling. So how about you tell me. You've got me a bit worried here."

"Twins."

"What?"

"We're having twins." Amy's eyes sparkled as she turned to Maxine, who was sitting in stunned silence. "We're going to have twins." Maxine looked back to David, who's smile she now recognised as a proud sort of smile. Like the cat, which got the cream.

_'No doubt he thinks he's the ruler of the universe now.'_ She thought before expressing her happiness."Congratulations! But you did have me worried for a while there."

"Sorry mom." Amy laid her head on David's shoulder and closed her eyes. "Just a bit shocked. I mean I knew I was showing alot, but I just thought, thought that..."

"I understand." She smiled as she watched the couple curl up together. "I completely understand."

* * *

"I look fat." Amy whined as she twirled in her new dress. 

"No, you look beautiful and... pregnant."

"Thanks Gillian."

"Hey mom, isn't this dress like the best? It is so much better than the one I had to wear for your last wedding."

"Well I'm glad you like it, but I hate this dress."

"But you look really nice mom. You can hardly tell you're, you know."

"Really?"

"Yeah, we can only tell, cause we know."

"I suppose."

There was a knock on the door, interrupting anymore discussions of dresses.

"WHO IS IT?"

"BRUCE."

"NO MEN ALLOWED."

"I NEED TO ASK JUDGE GRAY SOMETHING."

"Let him in." Amy waved Gillian to the door.

Bruce was frozen in the doorway as he looked at Amy.

"You wanted to ask me something?" He started and smiled.

"I wanted to ask if Rebecca can be a bridesmaid. She asked me and I couldn't do anything but say I would ask."

"Of course she can, she'll need a dress."

"Well she is in the car."

"Bring her in, I'm sure one of these will fit her, we got a whole load because Lauren refused to be sized."

"Ok, I'll be back in a minute."

"And Bruce..."

"Yes?"

"Call me Amy."

"Yes Amy." He chuckled as he walked out, closing the door behind him as he went.

* * *

Amy sat reading a file and waited patiently for Victor to speak. He had been sitting next to her for 5 minutes and had still to say anything.

"Mom?"

"Yes Victor?"

"I wanted to know why it was Mr Van Exel and not one of your brothers walking you down the isle."

"Because he is my best friend, and he has always been there for me. Always."

"But you're meant to have your dad, so shouldn't you have a brother?"

"I could be, but they haven't always been there for me, and besides, I want Bruce to give me away."

"But why?"

"Because he means more to me than my brothers."

"But they are your brothers!"

"They weren't there for me, not when I needed someone. I love him and I want him to be there."

"Do you love him like you love my dad?"

Amy paused and thought for a moment. "We are friends. It is a different type of love."

"I still don't get it."

"You will." Amy smiled at him. "You want to know a secret?"

"Yeah. Wait, it's not something gross like hormone stuff is it?"

"I'm going to have twins."

"Really? Cool! Who else knows?"

"Just your dad, and ma."

"Cool, can I be the one to tell L?"

"Sure."

"I'll go tell her now. This is so cool." Victor jumped up and ran to find Lauren.

_"This has to have been one of the best Christmas' ever." _Amy chuckled as she looked down and stroked her slightly swollen stomach.


	59. A Hand Of Permission

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters.

**Chapter 59: A Hand Of Permission**

_'Who can say for certain  
Maybe you're still here,  
I feel you all around me  
Your memory's so clear'_

* * *

"I'm going to go see dad." Amy sat in the kitchen with a glass of water. 

"Do you want me to come with you?" Maxine asked, as she prepared a salad.

"No, I was going to ask David."

"Are you sure he will be ok in a grave yard?"

"I have no idea, but I am going to ask him, it's important."

"When are you going to ask him?"

"During lunch."

"Shouldn't you wait till after?"

"I suppose so. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable or pressured into going."

"Do you want me to be with you when you ask?"

"If I'm not going to do it during lunch, I better do it on my own."

"Ok, just know if you need me, you only have to ask."

"I know that ma, and thank you."

* * *

_'Deep in the stillness  
I can hear you speak  
You're still an inspiration,  
__  
Can it be?  
That you are my...  
Forever love,  
And you are watching over me from up above'_

* * *

Lunch had been a tense affair, and David kept glancing at Amy to see what was wrong. It was only when there was the clatter of people clearing the table that he leant over to speak. 

"Honey are you alright?"

"Yes, I need to speak to you though. Outside." Amy got up and didn't notice the look of fear that crossed his face as he followed her through the kitchen and out onto the porch.

"What's wrong?" He caught her hand. "You're not having second thoughts are you?" He searched her face, trying to figure out what was wrong. "The babies are ok? Aren't they?" She was about to speak when he jumped in again. "Tell me Amy."

"I will if you calm down!" She smiled. "I just wanted to ask you if you would come with me to see my dad."

"But I thought your dad was... I don't know if..." He dropped Amy's hand. "I don't think... I don't... why?"

"It might sound stupid but, I want to go tell him. Tell him that him that I am getting married. He missed all of my weddings. I want him to know."

"I'm sure he knows."

"I know, but I want to **tell** him."

"Please Amy don't make me do this."

"I'm not making you do anything. I am asking you to come with me."

"But why do you want me to come with you?"

"So I can present you... see I told you it was stupid. I mean I know he is gone, but I just... it's like symbol."

David pinched the bridge of his nose. "I will try, that is all I can do."

"That is all I ask of you David. I never want to force you, or have you force yourself to do something."

"I know. When did you want to go?"

"Soon."

"Ok." Amy stepped forward and they embraced each other.

"Thank you." He closed his eyes and held her close as he kissed her.

* * *

_'Fly me up to where you are  
Beyond the distant star,  
I wish upon tonight  
To see you smile,  
If only for awhile to know you're there  
A breath away's not far  
To where you are'

* * *

_

Amy slowly got out of the car, she didn't wait for David as she walked towards her father's gravestone. When she reached it she knelt in front of it. Fussing with the flowers she had brought with her.

"Hey daddy, I'm sorry I couldn't get you the flowers you usually have, but I didn't have much time. I came here to talk to you, I wanted to tell you that I am getting married... I know, I know. Not again, right? But this time, I know it will last. He looks after me, he doesn't run anymore. He doesn't leave me, he's here for me... and Lauren. The same as I am there for him, and his son; Victor. And you know what else? We're having a child together, or should I say two. We're going to have twins. I wish you could be here so you could see them, I wish you could have been there when Lauren was a baby. I miss you daddy." Tears ran down her face as she stood up. "Bye daddy." She looked up to see David standing just behind her. He pulled her into his arms and held her while she sobbed.

"Go wait in the car, I want to... I'll be there in a minute." Amy looked at him and smiled weakly.

"Ok." She gave him a quick kiss before making her way back to the car.

"God, this seems so stupid, talking to a gravestone. How do I even know you can hear me? But I am here for Amy. Not just that, I wanted to tell you that I will look after her, tell you that I will love her till the end of time. But I also wanted... wanted to ask for her hand in marriage. I know I cannot get a reply, and so I will take your sons response as your response. But I am glad I was able to ask... I would also like to ask you a favour... could you look out for Kelly? Make sure she is ok up there. I don't want her to feel alone. Tell her I love her. Tell her... can you tell her about Amy? I have said goodbye to her already, made my peace, but I want her to know. Thank you in advance... cause well I don't know if you can or will do it. I promise to look after her, forever." David smiled, and took a deep breath. This had been a major step for him. He moved back to the car, where he got in and Amy took hold of his hand.

"Thank you."

* * *

_'Are you gently sleeping  
Here inside my dream,  
And isn't faith believing  
All power can't be seen_

_As my heart holds you  
Just one beat away  
I cherish all you gave me, everyday  
Cause you are my...  
Forever love  
Watching me from up above'_

* * *

Bruce sat on his couch, staring at the tv that was off. His mind wasn't on that though, he was thinking over all that had happened in his life. All those who had come into his life, and changed it before leaving. And now... Amy was still in his life, but she had changed so much. He knew he would never truely get over her. She would always hold some part of his heart. She was his first real love, but he had missed his chance to tell her that. There was no way he could tell her now. She wouldn't accept him. He wouldn't accept himself. 

He took another sip of his port. Trying to numb the pain that came with thinking about how he was losing her... and how he was the one handing her over to another man. He was taking her, taking her to where she would be owned by another. Belong as a whole to another. He closed his eyes as he remembered her dress. She looked so beautiful. She was breathtaking, he knew it was going to be hard. He wanted to run away. Lock the door. Anything, to try and stop time. He did that last time and the wedding had been called off.

_'No! I can't do that this time, I promised so much. To lose her trust as well as herself... I couldn't live.' _He placed his glass on the coffee table. Drinking wasn't going to change things. Nothing was going to change things.

* * *

_'And I believe  
That angels breathe  
And that love will live on and never leave'_

* * *

Lauren and Victor were huddled in the den, in a discussion about the twins. 

"I can't believe they are having twins!"

"I know, maybe they will both be boys."

"No way, got to be girls."

"I don't think so."

"Maybe it will be one boy and one girl. That way we both get what we want."

"Yeah that would be cool, then we would both have one to teach."

"Yeah."

"You know what we need now?"

"What?"

"A dog."

"Mom won't get one. We've had that already and she would have to walk it."

"But if my dad wants one, would she get one?"

"Maybe... do you think we could convince D?"

"You know if the D does stand for dad, why don't you just call him that."

"I don't want to jinx things. I'll wait until they are actually married."

"You won't jinx things."

"You don't know that."

"True, I'm sorry. I just know that it would mean so much to my dad."

"Well maybe I will, just not right now, alright?"

"I understand, I'm sorry for pushing."

"That's fine."

"So what do you think the names should be?"

"I don't know, lets work on the basis that one is a girl and one is a boy."

"Ok."

"What about Camryn?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. What about the boys name?"

"I don't know."

"What about Nicholas?"

"Yeah that sounds cool... Camryn and Nicholas, yeah. We should go tell mom now."

"Yeah, and the babies. They should know their own names." They ran out the den in search of the newly named babies at a neck-breaking speed.

* * *

_'Fly me up  
To where you are  
Beyond the distant star  
I wish upon tonight  
To see you smile  
If only for awhile  
To know you're there  
A breath away's not far  
To where you are_

_I know you're there  
A breath away's not far  
To where you are...'_


	60. The Last Event

Disclaimer: I do not own JA or any of the characters. Nor do I own any of the songs, (singers/songwriters) used in this or any other chapters.

**Chapter 60: The Last Event**

_'Here I stand alone  
With this weight upon my heart  
And it will not go away  
In my head I keep on looking back  
Right back to the start  
Wondering what it was that made you change_

_Well I tried  
But I had to draw the line  
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind'_

* * *

Bruce reached over and turned off his alarm. He fell back against his pillow hoping to be able to fall back asleep again. But there was no such luck. 

"DAD ARE YOU AWAKE? I HEARD YOUR ALARM GO OFF, YOU HAVE TO BE UP!"

Without even opening his eyes he replied. "Pumpkin, I need more sleep." Rebecca jumped onto his bed and started to jump up and down. "Stop jumping up and down, you are making me feel sea sick! And I thought you were meant to be too old and mature to jump on beds."

"Well get up. We have to be at Mrs Gray's house in an hour, and you are soooo slow." She sat down next to him and started pulling at his arm.

"We have plenty of time. Why don't you start getting ready and I will then."

"I'm ready." He opened his eye a crack.

"You aren't wearing your dress." He stated before closing his eyes firmly again.

"Well duh! It's at Mrs Gray's house so it doesn't get wrinkles and stuff."

"Well what would you know; I have discovered a way to get you to wakeup early... make you a bridesmaid." Rebecca smiled before turning serious again.

"Come on dad. We don't want to be late do we? I mean that would upset Mrs Gray."

"I'm up!"

"Dad, come on."

"Give me a chance woman." Becca laughed and climbed off the bed.

Bruce waited till he heard his bedroom door close, before he groaned and rolled over. He had been having a nice dream about Amy; the one where she came to him and said it had all been a mistake that she wanted him._ "Always a damn dream!" _He sighed before getting up and heading for the shower.

* * *

_'What if I had never let you go  
Would you be the woman I used to know  
If I'd stayed  
If you'd tried  
If we could only turn back time  
But I guess we'll never know'_

* * *

Amy sat up in bed. She looked over at her dress hanging on the back of the door and smiled. After rubbing her eyes she looked over to where David would normally sleep. 

"Damn tradition. No bloody sleep." She closed her eyes again and curled up under the sheets hoping to catch a few minutes of sleep, before being forced to get up.

"Oh good, you're up." Maxine swept into the room. "Right shower first." Amy scowled.

"Coffee." She moaned against sleep.

"Shower. Then coffee."

"I need to be awake to shower."

"No you don't."

"Please. I will never ask for anything again." Amy pleaded, seriously thinking about begging on her knees; just to get some coffee.

"Not likely, and therefore, will not be granted." Maxine stood at the bottom of her bed, with an evil glint in her eye, which slightly scared her, but it was gone before she could dwell on it much longer.

"It's bad enough you made David leave the house, which meant I had no sleep... but you're also denying me coffee!"

"Look, dear. I'm not denying you coffee, I'm delaying it. Now up! The quicker you shower, the quicker you get your coffee." Maxine didn't wait for an answer before she reached for the covers and pulled them off her. The combination of cold air on her warm body and the longing for coffee made her jump up. "There we go, knew I could get you moving.

"You could have got me moving quicker with coffee." Amy grumbled as she stepped into the bathroom.

* * *

_'Many roads to take  
Some to joy  
Some to heart-ache  
Anyone can lose their way  
And if I said that we could turn it back  
Right back to the start  
Would you take the chance and make the change_

_Do you think how it would have been sometimes  
Do you pray that I'd never left your side'_

* * *

David sat in the kitchen nursing a cup of coffee. Donna was busy making breakfast, whilst throwing glares in his direction. 

"Well I'm glad I was asked to stay and chaperone." David blushed. "And, lets just say my impression of you has changed."

"I just..." David had been trying to think up some excuses since Donna had caught him trying to sneak out at two in the morning.

"There is a thing called a phone." Donna scolded.

"I... I..."

"You know you are completely different in an argument in real life than you are in court."

"That's different."

"Is it now."

"Yeah both sides know the facts... well usually."

"And what are the facts in this case?" David didn't reply he just changed to a different shade of red. "Thought so. As I said, good thing I was asked to chaperone."

"Stupid tradition."

"No, nothing stupid about it at all. We women just know what men are like, and so take the proper precautions!" Donna smiled as David changed to yet another shade of red. "Now, I believe it is your turn to use the shower." She glanced up to see Kyle collapse into a chair.

* * *

_'What if I had never let you go  
Would you be the woman I used to know  
If I'd stayed  
If you'd tried  
If we could only turn back time  
But I guess we'll never know_

_If only we could turn the hands of time  
If I could take you back would you still be mine'_

* * *

Bruce stared in the mirror. He still had his shirt to put on, but the thought of putting on a tux was making his throat close up. All that kept going through his mind was thoughts of Amy when they had kissed. "If only..." 

"If only what dad?"

"What are you doing in here? I thought I told you to go watch tv."

"Yeah, but you were taking so long I thought you had died."

_'And a part of me has.'_ He closed his eyes and sighed, trying his best to conceal his feelings from his observant daughter.

"Are you ok dad? You look a bit sad!"

"I'm fine pumpkin. Everything is fine. Just weddings and..."

"You know sometimes you can be such a girl." Rebecca complained and Bruce almost sighed in relief that she had believed him.

"And sometimes you forget your manners young lady."

"Sorry daddy."

"Yes well. Do as you're told." Rebecca closed the door and left Bruce to reminisce on his own. Slowly he did up his shirt. This time there was no way out and no way to forget. Rebecca was all the reminder he needed. She was like her own alarm system that jolted at his conscience.

* * *

_'Cause I tried  
But I had to draw the line  
And still this question keep on spinning in my mind_

_What if I had never let you go  
Would you be the woman I used to know  
What if I had never walked away _

Cause I still love you more than I can say  
If I'd stayed  
If you'd tried  
If we could only turn back time  
But I guess we'll never know  
We'll never know...'

* * *

Bruce pulled up to the Gray house. "See you later daddy." 

"I'm coming in with you."

"But you're a guy."

"You know I am glad you pointed that out, I had been wondering."

"No, I mean you aren't allowed to see the bride till the church."

"I'm giving her away. I travel to the church with her."

"Really? I thought the dad did that."

"Rebecca," he sighed and had a great desire to hit his head on the steering wheel. "Her father has passed away. She asked me to do it."

"Oh."

"Oh, indeed." Bruce put on a smile and turned to her. "Now are we staying in the car, or do you want to get out and put on that beautiful dress that I only caught a glimpse of." Rebecca jumped out and ran upto the house. Slowly Bruce followed, only to be dragged the rest of the way when Rebecca saw how slow he was going and ran back to him.

"Come on daddy. You're taking too long."

"I'm old you know. I can only walk so fast."

"Yeah, well now you are walking alot faster."

"That would be because you are pulling me." Bruce chuckled as Rebecca pulled a face.

"And it's hard work." She dropped his hand as they crossed through the door. "I'm going to get ready now. Mrs Gray is in the kitchen."

"Which Mrs Gray?"

"Lauren's grandma."

"Thank you pumpkin." Bruce slowly walked into the kitchen, feeling as though his legs were made of lead.

"Bruce! You're here. Good, one less thing to worry about. Not like last time." She looked at him like she could see through him.

"Yeah, about that..." He cleared his throat. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it, almost glad you did. Helped her see some sense that Stu was not the one, huh?"

"Mmm..."

"Sit down." He slumped onto a stool and rested his head in his hands. "I know why you didn't turn up last time, you know."

"You know everything Mrs Gray; you are too good at your job not to know."

"Thank you and it is Maxine."

"What is it with Gray women and wanting to be called by their first name?" Bruce shook his head in disbelief.

"You are family Bruce. Maybe not the kind of family that you want," Bruce's head shot up and she smiled. "But we are family just the same."

"It's just hard."

"I know it is hard to watch somebody you love leave. But sometimes, you can push for too long. I left it too late, and, well... on with things now. You mean alot to her. She asked you to give her away... again, even after what you did last time."

"I promised... several times."

"Just don't run." Bruce grimaced. "And don't do anything stupid. She loves David."

"I know. I can't believe it got this far. I really can't. After everything that happened, and they are still together getting married. I don't understand. But I love her enough to let her go, she needed to move on. I understand that. I mean why wait for someone who refuses to admit their feelings... right? He'll be good for her. And if he's not..."

"I will let you push in front of me in the queue of people wanting to kill him." Bruce smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"It's for the best."

"It's for the best. She moved on, and Bruce?"

"Yes Mrs Gray?" He looked up.

"You need to let yourself move on."

"I will. I just can't right now." Maxine nodded and smiled.

"Well, all in good time." She started up the back stairs. "Next time I'm back down we will be about to leave. So that should give you time to prepare."

"Thank you." And she was gone. He took a deep breath and tried to ignore the tugging at his heart.

* * *

Half an hour later, Bruce was waiting at the bottom of the stairs; for Amy to descend. Donna, Maxine, Gillian, Lauren, Rebecca and a couple of other women he didn't know were already downstairs ready to go. 

"Daddy?" Bruce turned to Rebecca. "Can I have a dress like Mrs Gray when I get married?"

"You can have whatever dress you want when you get married... _just don't get married as many times as Mrs Gray has_." Rebecca smiled.

"Don't worry daddy. I will only marry someone if they are like you. Then I know I can trust them and we will be together forever."

"Thank you pumpkin." Bruce choked out the words as he looked up to see Amy descend the stairs. He remembered to breathe just in time as she reached him.

"Ready." She smiled and Bruce swore that he had never seen anything more beautiful than her at that moment. She took his hand and squeezed it, bringing him back to his senses. "Time to go then?"

"Yep. Let's go."

"We have exactly 22 minutes to get there, and counting." Gillian saidglancing at her watch.

"Thank you for that Gillian." Amy smiled nervously.

"No problems. Now let's get going before we run out of time."

_"The fact that it takes less than 10 minutes to get there doesn't seem to have crossed her mind... at all."_ Amy whispered as they walked out the door.

"You still act surprised at the way she thinks... after all this time?" Bruce chuckled.

"You know, I really am. I keep thinking that she will never be able to surprise me again, or something." She laughed, "sorry, lets get going shall we?"

"Yeah." They made their way to the car and Bruce helped her in. He took one last, longing look towards his car before getting in next to her.

* * *

"I can't believe how nervous I am." David paced outside the church. 

"Yeah, well I can't believe you thought you could get past Donna." Kyle laughed.

"You could have warned me."

"Now what would have been the fun in that?"

"Thanks."

"Why were you trying to sneak out dad?"

"Victor... I'm not in the mood to be answering your questions right now."

"What about later?"

"Victor..." David warned.

"Victor why don't you go wait inside before your dad explodes with stress."

"Just make sure you don't explode on mom's dress... I don't think she'd be very happy about that." Victor laughed as he ran back inside.

"You know I didn't think I would be this nervous, I really didn't. I mean I was fine yesterday, and now..."

"And now it has suddenly become very, very real?"

"Yeah."

"We should go wait inside. I think Gillian will have a fit if she finds us out here."

"You're probably right." David smiled and followed Kyle into the church.

* * *

_'Oh, why you look so sad?  
Tears are in your eyes  
Come on and come to me now  
Don't be ashamed to cry  
Let me see you through  
'cause I've seen the dark side too  
When the night falls on you  
You don't know what to do  
Nothing you confess  
Could make me love you less'_

* * *

"You know it's been weird, so many things have happened. Time has flown, and it was just one thing after another. Things just kept coming at me, trying to wear me down. Finally, I am happy." 

_'Oh, why did she say that? Why did she have to say she was happy?'_ He blinked. _'Because she is happy you imbecile!'_

"Hey Bruce?" Amy waved a hand in front of his face.

"Sorry." He turned and forced himself to smile at her.

"Hey what's wrong with you? You are way to quiet, I mean I just said some pretty stupid things, and I was waiting for some witty comment and I was left waiting."

"Sorry."

"Bruce, tell me what's wrong."

"You know what's wrong, Amy. It's taken everything I have to be here with you today." Amy fell silent. "Hey, now, I didn't want to upset you. Can't have the bride crying before the wedding now can we?" He took her hand and squeezed it.

"I'm sorry Bruce, I just needed you here with me. You are my best friend and I love you for that. You have no idea how much I need you."

"I think I can hazard a guess. And I love you too Amy. I promised myself I wouldn't do this, but I needed you to know, that you mean so much to me. If David, if he, if he hurts you, in any way... I am here for you, always. Just know that whatever happens, no matter what I will comfort you. I need you to know that before I can let myself let you go." He looked into her eyes as he choked out the last few words and what he saw was almost his undoing. The utter love and respect she felt for him was laid out for him to see. It was breath-taking, and as he saw tears well in her eyes he quickly reached up and wiped them away before they could spoil her make-up. "Now what did I say about crying?" He tried making a joke but in truth, he knew his own eyes were showing what he felt. He could feel her eyes burning into him, watching him, waiting.

"Bruce, you know... thank you." She gripped his hand tightly as they pulled upto the church.

* * *

_'I'll stand by you  
I'll stand by you  
Won't let nobody hurt you  
I'll stand by you _

So if you're mad, get mad  
Don't hold it all inside  
Come on and talk to me now  
Hey, what you got to hide?  
I get angry too  
Well I'm a lot like you  
When you're standing at the crossroads  
And don't know which path to choose  
Let me come along  
'cause even if you're wrong'

* * *

After Gillian had got everyone lined up and ready to make their entrance, Amy began to shake. 

"Hey, what's this for?" Bruce asked concerned.

"I'm just nervous." She glanced up at him. "You would think when it got to your third wedding it would be easier, but it isn't. You men have it easy, as usual."

"Oh yeah, how's that?"

"You just get to stand there watching the bride walking towards you, with everyone's attention on the bride. All waiting to see if she falls. The only time the attention is on the man is when the bride is standing next to him."

"You know not everyone is waiting to see if you trip and fall."

"You know what I mean."

"Besides, you have me this time. Beside you, to keep you strong and... vertical."

"You know, you not dropping that whole first meeting thing, is kind ofgetting old."

"Not for me it isn't. Your face is priceless."

"Isn't it always?" She batted her eyelashes playfully.

"Listen to yourself Amy."

"Hey, I can make a joke can't I?"

"Not at my expense."

"I didn't mean it like that Bruce, and you know it! You mean to much to me for me to do that to you."

"I'm sorry. You're not the only one nervous. There will be some people waiting to see if the ever posed Mr Van Exel is going to trip and fall."

"How come you get to make jokes about yourself and I can't join in?"

"You can make fun of yourself, I'm not stopping you." Bruce chuckled as she replied with was a glare.

* * *

_'I'll stand by you  
I'll stand by you  
Won't let nobody hurt you  
I'll stand by you  
Take me in, into your darkest hour  
And I'll never desert you  
I'll stand by you'_

* * *

_"Remember to breathe; I don't think my sister will be very happy getting up here to find you collapsed on the floor." _Vincent whispered hurriedly and grinned as he heard David begin to breathe again. 

David had been in a world of his own the second the doors had opened and Amy had started walking towards him. The smile she had on her face, the radiant beam that surrounded her. He would remember it forever, like a timeless piece of art. He hardly noticed the dress she was in, the flowing white material that swam like liquid water around her. Concealing her pregnancy from those who didn't know to look, and taking advantage of her figure and showing off her best points. Her veil was decorated by delicate flowers that interweaved with her hair. The curls that framed her face, bringing out the shine in her eyes, and the dance of joy that was in them.

A poke in the back reminded him yet again that he needed to breathe, and he heard Vincent whispering to Peter. But what it was he said, he neither cared nor heard, as his attention was once again on Amy; his Amy.

* * *

_'And when...  
When the night falls on you, baby  
You're feeling all alone  
You won't be on your own'_

* * *

Bruce reluctantly handed Amy to David, and he nodded his head and moved to sit down. He felt his chest constricting as he looked at Amy and the way she was looking at David. _'A way she will never look at me.'_ He closed his eyes for a brief moment and remembered her, the way she felt in his arms, the way her hair moved in the wind, the fruity scent that she wore. He sniffed and he felt somebody patting his arm. He looked to his left and saw Maxine smiling at him. He forced a smile on his face, and nodded to what she seemed to be saying in her eyes. Before turning his attentions, first to Rebecca to marvel at how grown-up she was, when she still seemed like such a baby to him. Then backto Amy,where his breath caught as thepriest prepared to speak. 

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the sight of god, and the presence and the witness of these friends and loved ones; to join Amy and David in the bonds of holy matrimony. Who's hearts are intertwined as one, and who now stand here, to form a permanent and unshakable union..."

* * *

_'I'll stand by you  
I'll stand by you  
Won't let nobody hurt you _

I'll stand by you  
Take me in, into your darkest hour  
And I'll never desert you  
I'll stand by you  
I'll stand by you  
Won't let nobody hurt you  
I'll stand by you  
Won't let nobody hurt you  
I'll stand by you...'

* * *

... The End ...


End file.
